Addiction
by Ash2Ash
Summary: "I can stop anytime I want to." My intention was never to purposely write a fluffy story because neither Shikamaru nor Temari appear to be purposely fluffy people. It's more about depicting the type of relationship I could see them having and all the things that come with it. Watch them grapple with reality and either sink or swim. Popular or not, it's all mine. I don't own Naruto.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Vacuum**

That incessant creaking was slowing driving itself like painful screws into Temari's brain.

He should have oiled this thing before or something

With every small motion the bed frame would announce the night's festivities to the probably sleeping neighbors on the other side of the wall. It didn't really matter to her if they heard though. They didn't know she was part of the ruckus and as long as she could help it, they never would. For her own sanity though, she really wished he would do something but she knew very well that his task at hand was more important that greasing up some loose joints. Looking slightly to the left in the darkened room, the illuminated numbers of the night table clock read 12:45 am.

_30 minutes…and nothing. What a dra-_

She stopped herself right as she was about to venture on that road and she had no plans on going down there again. She had been doing well for the past few weeks on her shear will alone and she would use that to drive her until she was completely sober off of him-her alcohol. A bead of sweat dripped down onto her forehead, detouring her thought to the disgust of having his salty fluid smearing her makeup even further. He seemed to be working harder than she thought and at this point he was now panting and trying to hold on as best as he could.

_All night he said….armature._

Wanting to yawn out of pure boredom, she held back to urge to spare this guy's glass ego. He thought he had her at "hello" but lucky for him he just happened to be in the right place at the right time just when she had an itch. Now she regretted the fact that she didn't just go take a walk. Her body was jerking awkwardly into the headboard as he practically tried to lick her flesh off and swallow her neck hole. He was trying, she had to give him that much but she had no urge to do anything but lay there like some fresh corpse and take it. It would do for the time being, she supposed. Stopping for a moment to listen, she realized the creaking was gone.

_Great_…

It would be replaced though by his even louder panting as e flexed his bare arms that were boring into the mattress beside her. Temari tried to enjoy it, she honestly did. It was the first time in months she had gotten anything and that want was becoming greater each passing week. Going to him was not an option so she opted to find some no named scholar from the Feudal Lord's city who was just passing through. Not even asking his name, she skipped the small talk and went straight at it. The quicker it started, the quicker it ended the quicker she could get back to things again.

"So….I'm doing….pretty well…huh?"

He gave her a small smile that made her subconsciously twist her face in a mixture uncomfortableness and pity.

"Yea….great…" Luckily it was too dark to see her roll her eyes slightly and divert her attention to the ceiling fan that was whirling above her head. No closer to an orgasm than when she first came in contact with him, she knew it was a lost cause but that poor guy pressed up against her naked chest and driving himself inside of her thought otherwise. Feeling his body twitch underneath her indicated that his time was quickly approaching and her chance to slip out before she found herself in a forced pillow talk cuddle was fading away.

_I really should stop him now…_

"Whatever your name is….this has to be the best sex….I've ever had…" Giving her that creepy grin again, gave her just the boost she needed to finally call it quits. He just didn't feel right, this just didn't feel right, nothing felt right. Sighing out all of the thoughts and emotions she kept barred behind her prison of 0ff-topic subjects, it was clear that she didn't find what she was looking for. Replacement. So, she hoisted herself up onto her forearms so she was eye to eye with the disheveled guy still pushing un-rhythmically away between her legs.

"Look. This isn't working."

"Wait what?" The guy stopped abruptly, wiping some of his brown strands from his face.

_Here we go…._

"I'm not into this to be completely honest."

"But you said I was doing great…"

"Yea well I lied." Squirming out from under him, she mentally started to count down until his emotional eruption as she fiddled around the unlit hotel room for her clothes.

"But-

_3…_

"I mean!..." He sat up, looking around the bed as if the answers were written in the folds of the crumpled sheets.

_2…_

"I do not understand!"

_1…._

"You cannot go! We were just getting started! I promise it will get better!" Before she could get one hand in her sleeve, he was down at her feet looking as desperate as any beggar. It was revolting. His voice was annoying, his awkward way of moving around was annoying and not to mention the way he spoke made her believe she was in a grammar classroom.

"I'm really sorry but….we're done here." Standing up and stepping over the still pleading (and still roused) young man, Temari fortunately found the rest of her clothing quickly. Sliding them on like she was being clocked, she ran her fingers through her hair and strapped her fan tightly to her back. "Thanks for everything though, really." She had to give him some compensation for his loss so a quick peak on the cheek was all she felt like sparing that night before heading to the balcony.

_Never letting a scholar pick me up again._

Looking over the edge of the second story room, Temari paused for a moment to make sure the streets below were clear of any passer-byers who would be able to recognize her. Being a Sand Village diplomat made her a little more popular that she would have liked but it was unavoidably. If she could, she would gladly keep the title if she could regain some of her privacy but that was never going to happen. The summer breeze blew through the leafy trees that lined the streets below and offered her a small cover for her get away. Feeling the time was right; she made her leap onto the sidewalk and quickly disappeared down the darker ally on the side of the building.

Looking behind her, she checked for any unaccounted for eyes. "Good." This time, she got away and found herself walking down one of the smaller streets behind the hotel towards the quieter parts of the village. Valuing what little time away from the commotion she had, she requested that her apartment be placed a small distance away from the city center which was still being rebuilt. Looking at the roofs of the structures, one could still see metal beams where they were fixing the frames, parts of the roofs un-tiled and some paint jobs that were in the process of completion. Walking by these partially finished areas made her feel a tad bit sorrowful yet proud that the although the devastation to the leaf was great, that they managed to get themselves back up. This could have easily been her village of Gaara didn't save them from the attack from Deidara.

_That bastard…_

It was a quiet summer night, too quiet. It left Temari on the streets alone with nothing but the night sky and her own thoughts. This was a small fear of hers because whenever she had a moment to think, she would waste it on the possibilities. She told herself she wouldn't bother to care about what could have been but what actually was.

Clearly she wasn't paying attention she before she came to realize exactly where her feet were headed, she had already made 3 lefts, 2 rights and walked 4 blocks to a small single columned set of apartments with only 3 floors. If one was just passing, the building would have easily blended in as just an ordinary set of apartments but only he would find the true value of living in such a place. One day when he explained it to her, it all clicked. The good old days.

"I'm not stopping." That's what she reminded herself but her feet turned into adhesive until they had finally stuck into the concrete in front of the doorway. "Maybe I can stop….but I'm not going in." Following the crack in the side of the building all the way up to the second floor, she saw the dim light lulling from behind a set of partially closed curtains. It was probably around 1:15 so this all seemed about right. The flesh on the back of her neck heated up while the timeline of events played back like old music. "I guess…." Before she could finish, her feet thought ahead of her again. "It wouldn't hurt to say hey….We are friends after all…." The temptation was louder that logic and her footsteps up the quiet hallway were louder than her conscious telling her that once she starting this drinking thing again, it would be hard to quit. He was her rum-bitter yet mind-numbing. Yet, she said she swore of alcohol but don't all alcoholics say that could stop anytime they wanted too? 6 steps shrank to 5 which dwindled to 2 and then become one until she was standing in front of a smile brown door, a copy of any old regular door. This was her last fleeting moment to decide to let it all go and add another week to her score of fighting the urges. She wanted to move and continue on home yet here she was, praying that he wouldn't realize someone was on the other side.

_This is wrong…..I really should go._

It took a lot less convincing than she thought and within a few seconds she turned on her heel and was about to head back down the silent hallway when she heard that noise that sounded her loss. The door creaked open behind her. Standing in a stupor, she said nothing as her back was turned to the sudden bright light that casted a shadow on the ground. That's when she heard it, the voice that dragged like a well-deserved cigarette.

"You should knock next time…"

Realizing she was not going to let him best her mental alertness, she responded equally as cooly. "Yet you answered regardless."

It was like she could hear-no feel a small tangent form to his lips and she hoped he didn't see her shudder. The little opportunity she had to escape this vortex of a twisted, derailed, drawn out, mess of a friendship came and went with the next words that slithered out of his mouth.

"Take a shower….you smell like him."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: The way things are

The pressure from the showerhead was rough like raining bullets but it wasn't completely unwelcomed. The tension from her shoulders had grown stiff over the past few days from sleeping on her harder-than-necessary mat. Her apartment was nice and all but she would think they would have gotten her a better bed. Maybe they figured she wouldn't be sleeping much, another wrong assumption. Temari rarely missed her 8 hours. Except during the war where she basically never slept, ever since she was a child she was a wreck without proper rest. The fact that her sleeping was disturbed by firm lumps and basically nonexistent barrier between her back and the wooden floor forced her to gain an ever greater control over her sleep-deprived characteristics.

Rubbing the back of her neck, she dipped her head under the water. "Maybe Sakura has a trick to loosening me up."

"Stretch." Glancing casually to the left, she saw a hazy figure of a guy leaning against the doorframe in a black t shirt and cotton navy pants leaning casually against the doorframe. His sudden appearances didn't surprise her anymore.

"I'll try it." Grabbing a bottle of shampoo, she soaped up her blonde tresses until they were covered in light white suds.

"There's a towel on rack." She caught him just in time to see the door close.

_I wonder how long he was standing there…._

It had come to a point where those uncomfortable, private moments were overlapped with unpremeditated conversation, casual glances and familiar physicality's that created an alternate universe existing behind the doors of his and her apartments. The friendship was a dull yet cool grey that suited them both and kept them warm in it's own unconventional way. They both just went with the flow of their time together and whatever became of it, simple became. It never occurred to her to think further than a few minutes, to not think back more than a day and seldom questions their actions towards each other. This was the reason why it all worked.

_No matter…._

She continued her shower in peace under the barrage of water droplets. Turning her back to the showerhead as the shampoo ran down her torso, she lifted her arms above her head and slowly reached down to her toes.

"Maybe he had something there."

Once she found herself properly eased of some of the knots in her back and neck, it was high time she got out before she started to shrivel. He told her once that her fingers resembled one of those leaky water balloons with the folds that formed as the water escaped. She then proceeded to call him an ass which he merely shrugged with that small indifferent smirk that only made her hate even more that she listened to him. Stepping out of the shower, she spotted the white towel draped over it's said place but when she grabbed it, something fell to the floor. She smirked. A subtle invitation.

…

"You should get another board." Temari stood behind him who was appeared to be fixated on the numerous papers that were tacked onto the wooden square on his wall. To a mere person, it would seem like nothing more than a scribbled oh incoherent thoughts, unfinished sentences, misplaced numbers and a down right mess but she knew better than that. It didn't take much for her to understand that she may not be meant to understand all of what goes on his brain at any given moment.

All he did was point to the wall on the left of him where another board equally unorganized was nailed to the wall. It wouldn't surprise her if he bought that one yesterday and it already looked like that.

"Want a drink?"

"Yea. It's been a while." She was grateful that he offered so she could use the personal excuse that she didn't want to impolite when she tried to rationalize later why she broke her this rule, among other rules.

_30 days now completely down the drain._

Brushing past her, their bare arms met and in an unspoken understanding, she knew he welcomed the interaction as much as she did. Making her way to their usual spot on his balcony where they would talk politics, the events of the day and after-fuck-conversations, she found herself in a lighter mood leaning against the wooden railing.

"You're not gonna wear pants?" Leaning on his back beside her, he handed her a simply fashioned glass of bitter red wine while glancing down at her bare legs coming from under a cotton t shirt.

"I'm a little ashamed that you've forgotten about me that quickly." It sounded like a simple filler statement but she actually felt a little disappointed.

Chuckling as he lit his cigarette that flickered a orange glow in the darkness, he leaned back further. "I should know you by now shouldn't I? It's only been 4 weeks or so."

_He's been counting. _

The wine went down slow and burned her throat a little but that was the price of liking honest things. Bitter alcohol was honest alcohol.

"I'm sure you've kept yourself busy though."

"Sadly….The chunin exams are months away and they already have me doing shit."

"I'm sorry…"

"No you're not." When he looked as her, his deep eyes glowed in the flickering light.

"You're right. I'm not." Her gaze met his that lead to a unison smile which lead to a small laugh between them.

"You're a slave driver Temari. While you're off being a liaison, I get dumped with the brunt of the work…it's such a drag working solo."

"I'm sure you haven't been dedicating you're entire time to working." On the tiny metal table in the corner, barely lit by the moon there sat a pair of diamond earrings crossed gently over one another.

"I was suppose to find her when I found them." He didn't even have to look at what she was referring too.

"You didn't."

"I didn't care all that much to find her. If she wanted them badly enough, she would have found me. They're fake anyway so I can't even do anything with them."

It was never necessary to ask their relationship to other people. What did it matter to her anyway? She had her own ways in the world as much as she did. It was an understanding. Any other night though, she would have just moved on to another conversation but tonight she was feeling a little bit more edgy than usual. Strolling over to the glistening jewelry, she picked them up with the tips of her nails and eyed them as she went back over to her place beside him.

"Useless." Without warning, she sent them soaring over the edge of the balcony and onto the streets below where they would probably be lost in the night. Watching them being tossed over the edge, he didn't move but merely folded his arms and drew his cigarette.

"You're heartless you know that?" A reprimanding without anger, maybe even slight amusement.

She took a swig of her drink, unable to admit that rational of her actions to even herself but merely swimming in the satisfaction. "We all have our moments."

Turning around to her, she found herself eye to eye with this spiked ponytailed guy who suspended her breath for a secret moment. His gaze was more inquisitive than critical but she held her ground.

_What is he getting at…_

"If we're playing this game….I should take his number he wrote down that you have in your skirt pocket and tear it to shreds." That last breath from him lingered longer on her lips than she would have liked.

"Be my guest." Either way, it wouldn't matter to her.

There was a silence that fell like curtains to cover up what message she truly wanted to relay to him. A written on the top of his mattress, sealed with his tongue tattooing the secrets of their friendship and stamped with those hazy mornings that drew out to 2pm. She was sure he read her unspoken memo as he lips guided like missiles to the tucked away spots on the side of her neck. He defined an aspect of her womanhood and imprinted his name at the base of her torso and she breathed life into his male ego. This little part of their lives together kept them coming back for more even after finding drink elsewhere because nothing was as satisfying as satisfying an addiction. She bit her lip, he touched her waist ever so slightly. The doorbell rang.

"Hey Shikamaru! I know you're awake man! It's Kiba!"

He was inches, no centimeters away from closing in before he paused.

_Ignore him…_

"Shikkkaammaaarrruuuu!" Kiba pounded on the other side of the door.

"He's drunk…" Temari could measure his heart rate from the long exhales that collided against her nape.

_Ignore him…_

"He won't leave until I answer….I know him by now." With that, he broke himself away, throwing his cigarette in the ashtray by the door. Now it was time to disappear into the shadows so she moved slightly out of the way outside behind the curtain. Another unspoken rule. Now she would finish her drink and wait. She heard the door open apprehensively.

"Shikamaruuuuu my mans!" Kiba sounded like someone had given him morphine on one side of his mouth.

"Hey. What's up?.."

"Nothingssss bro! Hey I was just in your side oftown and uh-uh-damnit why am I here? Uh…"

"Don't force yourself too hard." That amusing laugh he gave must have been connected to her voice box because she gave the quieter version upon hearing him struggle.

"O yea! Naruto is throwing a wicked party tomorrow! He gave me the ultimate mission of telling you!"

"The ultimate mission huh?"

"Yea! So here and I am and here you are and thazzz it! Ha!"

"Thanks Kiba." Temari imagined him awkwardly scratching the back of his neck.

"No problem! Later!" She heard the door start to close before Kiba interrupted again.

"Hey Temari!" She quickly perked up, wondering if he saw her. When she looked back, she was completely coveed by the curtain that was partially pulled over the patio door. "You're invited too!"

"Why are you yelling into my apartment?"

"Because I wanted to make sure Temari heard me duh!"

"She's not here…."

"Pshhhhh. I can sniff her out a mile away but don't worry. You guys can go back to getting nasty now."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Suuurreee. Later!"

When the door closed, she emerged from hiding and walked inside to meet him. "So does this mean I'm not invited because I didn't hear that?"

"That's up to you now isn't it?"

"I guess I'm up for a little break from diplomacy in place of a drunk night, loud music and foolery." He took the empty cup from her hand and put it on the table.

"I guess this means I have to come now…"

"You don't have to do anything."

"Yes…I do." Pulling his shirt over his head as he closed the balcony door and drew the curtains, she watched his back muscles jump with his stride. It's not like a shirtless guy was new to her but the appeal of it all was something she rarely experienced.

"You can sleep in my room."

"Got it."

He collapsed onto the couch, instantly closing his eyes. There would be nothing to be had tonight and that was just fine. The way they communicated without words was a part that she enjoyed although him being more vocal wouldn't hurt either. The choice to sleep alone was his but she didn't protest the fact either. It was all part of the flow of things and if she ever wanted some night time company, it was as easy as calling him in. He never admitted it but she casted a spell that made him bend even if he didn't want to. Tonight she would spare him as she turned off the lights and watched him drift off. The expression on his face was the same and it looked as if he lived his life in slumber with his eyes open. In sleep, nothing bothered you, nothing stressed you out and you forgot the problems of the other hours. That was Shikamaru,

_Night Shikamaru._

Tonight she would enjoy her mini vacation in the grey area because the world of black and white just didn't always feel right all the time.

"Night."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Intermission**

An underground hideout was what Naruto opted as a good place to throw his shebang. As she walked down the stone stairs, almost hitting her head on the low hanging light bulb she began to wonder what sort of part this was. The noise from the people and the music seeped out from the cracks underneath and on the sides of the door and she already felt the sweat from the radiating heat dripping down the back of her neck (which now felt great from a much needed night on a suitable bed).

_At least here I won't have to play pretend…._

These people were the closest things she had to friends and the only people she could let her guard down for, slightly. When she approached the door, she half expected someone to pop up behind a small square peephole but she should have remembered who actually threw this thing.

"The idiot left the door open." Shaking her head, she pulled the open to be bombarded by the smoke from lit cigarettes and what she thought was a hint of weed. There a good number of people walking from tables of beer pong to the small open bar of cheap alcohol. The party smelled of teenage trouble and Temari being 20 just stepped out of that phase of her life but this mischief still lingered on the trail of her personality. Adjusting her eyes to the dim room and her ears to the bursts of laughter and triumphant winners of drinking games, she spotted the few familiar faces. Kiba was off by the bar, twisting his fingers in the hair of a giggling red head who was practically feeding his ego like a chef. Sai was trying his hand at beer pong with Lee who was standing attentively beside him while Sai read directions from a book. He looked like he was winning but being too professional about it all. His socially awkward personality always gave her and Shikamaru a good laugh every now and then. Choji was at a table waving his hands at Shino. When she walked by she managed to catch the words "Pizza", "30 inches and "broke the records." Shino looked more interested at deciphering the type of wood that the table was made out before some giant pizza story. Pin-balling through another cloud of party-goers she suddenly sensed a presence behind her that felt a lot different than the party goer. Trying to act natural, she walked a few paces more before suddenly reaching behind her. Grabbing a hand that was seemingly about to grab her shoulder, she flipped someone over her head, slamming them into the ground infront of her.

"Temari, what the hell!?" The idiot.

"Whoops…."

"You could have broken my coccyx!" Naruto sat up, rubbing his lower back.

"Spell coccyx." Standing over him, she crossed her arms patiently.

"Cock- whatever that's not the point!"

"Sorry Naruto." Extending her hand to the injured host, she helped him to his feet while he was still easing his soreness.

"That's ok. You girls have to worry about creepers so I guess I learned my lesson. Thanks for coming! I guess you must have heard Kiba's message when you were at Shikamaru's."

Raising one eyebrow at his accusation, she perked up. "Oh? When was I at Shikamaru's house?"

"Oh you two and stop with the act. We know you guys a secretly fooling around." Naruto seemed pretty sure of this fact.

"Fooling around? I don't know what you're talking about." Giving him a parting smile, she walked past her very confused friend and onto the small dancing floor.

The amount of grinding and touching made her feel like she was entering into people's bedrooms so she tried not to touch anyone. It wasn't long before she broke through the crowd and her gaze fell on a rest of the boys who were missing from the previous bunch. These boys who were in a group of their own. Neji was planted firmly in the couch intensely gazing across the room where the girls where. Following his gaze, she thought at first he was watching HInata but Temari started to doubt it upon looking closely at the path of his pupils.

_Tenten?..._

Next to him was Sasuke who was hunched over with a beer in his hand. Looking suspiciously around him, quite possibly for Naruto's surprise appearance, he quickly sipped what was in the can. He looked more like a weary animal going for a drink at the waterhole rather than a teenager at a party. Then, her gaze fell on an all too familiar face leaning against the cold stone wall in the dark corner. Dawning a net black t shirt, plain grey pants and a spiked metal bracelet around his wrist was Shikamaru. His hands were positioned to provide support for the back of his head. The whole time, he didn't move and his eyes remained closed until one of them slowly rose open and focused directly one her. He was more lethargic than usually and anyone would guess that he just took a hit off of someone's pipe but Shikamaru was never one for weed.

"_Weed? Nah. If I'm already this slow, that thing would put me in a coma."_

Meeting his gaze, she greeted him with a raise of her eyebrow for some reason, she took him in longer than she expected before mingling in with the girls. Maybe she was trying to get one last good look at him.

"Temari!" Ino was the first to flag her down.

"Hey." Giving her a relaxed grin, she leaned up inbetween Sakura and Ino.

"H-Hi Temari." Poor Hinata looked so out of her element, Temari couldn't help but pity her.

"Hinata. Don't look so tense kay?" Grabbing a beer can from the cooler behind Hinata, she pulled out two cans and popped open one. "Have a beer."

"B-but.."

"Drink it." What she was doing was could be deemed a dangerous persuasion but she didn't think this would be detrimental. Much. Hinata caved like she predicted.

Sakura was twirling her straw around in her glass while her eyes darted between the table and Sasuke. She seemed so focused that she didn't even notice Temari. "Earth to Sakura."

"Oh! Sorry Temari! Hey…I was just…"

"Mhm. I get it and I don't think Sasuke is going anywhere."

"What's up with you two anyway?" Tenten Chimmed in. "What's up Temari?"

"I don't know really. We're here and there I guess."

"Here and there eh? Hey Tenten." Temari found their teenage minidrama's endearing and nostalgic. Since the war was over, everyone had stepped down from being adults to being hormone ragging, epidramatic, soul searching kids that they were supposed to be at their age. Temari believed that life wasn't supposed to be on edge all the time and that loosening up was natural within reason.

"Yea…."

"What should she do Temari? Sasuke is so hot and cold to her." Ino looked at her intensely. For some reason, these girls have awarded her the group older sister, constantly running her down for advice. It was nice to be needed but she wondered why it had to be her.

"You all have a lot to learn about men."

"Forget about men….what about Sasuke?" Sakura slumped down onto the table.

"Hate to break it to ya but lover boy is a trumped up bastard." They all gasped in unison at her honest, straight-out-of-the-books opinion. "Knowing Sasuke, he's probably too proud to admit any of his feelings because he feels vulnerable."

"Yea but I'm trying to be there for him!" Sakura sounded like she was more pleading to Sasuke than explaining herself to Temari.

"We know but that's the way it works. Sorry." The truth hurts more than lies and it was better they learned that early.

"I wish I could get into a relationship like you and Shikamaru…" Temari sighed internal at Ino's comment which set the ball rolling again.

"Shikamaru and I have no relationship."

"Why do you guys do that?" Tenten voiced her annoyance rather blatantly.

"Do what?"

"I –I think she means why do you and Shikamaru deny your relationship?" Hinata was almost afraid to speak on the matter. Temari wished he others would catch on.

"You can't deny something that doesn't exist." Temari in all technicalities wasn't lying. Outside of an outlined friendship, professional partnership, and casual fuck buddy they had no relationship the way everyone thought they did. Breakups, makeups, screw ups, redos, expected emotions followed by unexpected actions were just all too messy for either of them to handle. So, they choose to take whatever it was for whatever it was worth. It wasn't meant for anyone to know and it certainly wasn't meant for anyone to understand. None of that mattered at this point though because when she woke up between his sheets that morning, alone and to her thoughts, she decided that she would try her hand of being sober again. She came to far to be pulled back into the routine and she might even be close to meeting someone else soon.

"Look at that little slut!" Ino's face was twisted in disgust so Temari gave it to the temptation to look at what had her in a knot. In the corner, pressed up against Shikamaru like some feeding parasite was a bony shinobi whose hair reminded Temari of ground up dying grass. What was most annoying were the bells she wore as earrings that would chime whenever she would flip her hair during her giggle fits. She was doing her best to capture his attention by playing on her interest in his bracelet. "Well Temari!"

Chuckling at Ino's fiery concern she replied. "Well what?"

"Aren't you gonna go over there and peel her off Shikamaru?" Tenten looked like she wanted to throw a dart in the square of the girl's forehead.

"Why would I do that? He's grown enough to do what he wants." Temari wasn't worried at all. Infact, the whole situation provided her with entertainment for the night. Looking again at him, he barely had his eyes open to look at the girl who was running her long fingers around his wrist. She would say a few sentences, he would reply with a word or so, she would go into some long rant, he would give her a sentence sparingly. It was pretty much one of those types of things.

"Temari you can't just stand by and watch some girl cart him off." Sakura acted like she was giving her important words of wisdom.

"If he goes home with her, he goes home with her. Why are you guys so worked up anyway?" She wasn't his type. She'd seen the very few women he ever brought home and this girl was nowhere near the ballpark.

"I can't believe you!" Ino was genuinely angry which only made Temari laugh a little louder.

"Ino, guys, it's not my problem. Now let's enjoy the rest of the night not thinking about men or relationships or anything. I plan on getting shit-faced and laughing until I wanna puke. Got it?" If she was going to a party, she was going big or going home. She'd have to be drunk to have the guts to face him tonight.

"She's right you know….who cares about stupid men.." Sakura crumpled her empty beer can.

"Look's like someone's with me!" Temari chugged her beer in minutes.

"Oh-Okay…" Hinata sipped slowly.

"To living and forgetting!" Tenten was a lively one Temari liked that.

4 beers for each of them, 2 for Hinata, before they were all stumbling of their words and tripping over their inhibitions. She never thought that she'd have this much fun while feeling like this much of a grandmother at the same time. While she was only 20, being around them made her feel much younger and the weight of her growing adult responsibilities lifted off of her shoulders. She didn't even bother to check on Shikamaru, whom she assumed had taken care of that leach of a girl. It wasn't unheard of for him to come with his fair share of hopeful women so it was all in the package that she signed up for. The night came to a dizzing stop at 4 am when a shirtless Naruto announced that the party was over. Hinata nearly collapsed.

Tonight was a nice break and if she wasn't so caught up in crude jokes and girl talk, she would have probably found someone that night who could have scratched her itch for physical interaction. Whatever would make her forget at this point. Sobering up the point where she was partially competent, she fixed herself up decent and followed the crowd up the small stairway and into the cool night air. It was then that she realized how stifling it was inside. When she reached the top, her jacket came off of her dress which was a replica of her usually outfit minus the sleeves. Rarely did she deviate but she did accommodate for the weather changes.

"Temari! Thanks for the awesome night!" Tenten yelled out from down the street where Temari noticed Neji slowing down in front of her.

_Hm?_

"Bye!"

"Later Temari! I'm walking Hinata home!" Ino called out from the other side next to a stumbling Hinata.

"Shouldn't Naruto be doing that?"

"He passed out on the floor! I think Sai and Lee are taking care of him!"

"Um ok! Night!"

"This was epic!" Hinata used up the last of her energy to yell out into the crowded streets. Temari almost busted into a laughing fit but she was mostly glad she helped that girl out of her shell. Tonight she would walk home satisfied.

"Is it new?" It sounded like the flow of molasses, when he spoke from behind her.

"Is what new?" She stopped in her tracks.

"The dress."

"No. Just one I haven't worn in a while." The abrupt silence made her less aware of her suroundings and more conscious of him standing a foot behind her.

"I like it." The upward inflection indicated his honesty.

"Thanks." She welcomed it.

He walked past her. She followed. It began.

"Better party than I expected." There was no need for her to make small talk but it was the alcohol soaking into her system.

"Yea. The idiot knows what he's doing." Putting his hands in his pocket, she watched his biceps turn at an angle that outlined them through the purposeful holes in his shirt. Temari looked behind her partially to avoid prolonged contact to the structures that held her down, and held her _down_ and partially to wonder if her assumption about that girl was wrong.

"She's not coming…"

"Alright."

"If I was ever in the mood I wouldn't choose a girl who's mental anatomy consisted of a wonder of shiny objects, shallow compliments and a lust for the temporary 'it' things. I should have pawned her off on Sasuke but….for Sakura's sake I took the fall…such a drag…"

"You do what you want. You're a free man after all." Those words were made of cold marble and the indifferent truths. Things were starting to get too serious and crossing into a realm they purposely chose not to venture into to.

Quiet. "You should loosen up some Shikamaru." Changing subjects was all she could think off.

"I'm loose enough."

"No. I can see it in your shoulders." Tracing the outline of his broad frame, she could see he squeezed them tighter to his body than usual.

Glancing back at her, he continued to stroll casually. "Then come take the weight off."

"I can't."

"Hm. Why not?"

"I'm sobering up…" She slowed her pace. "From you." If she didn't now, she would never be able to fully experience whatever else was out there.

"I didn't know I turned into a drink or hardcore drugs." He didn't seem offended. She never expected him to be.

_You're more dangerous than that…._

"You're just something I'm trying to rid my system of." They both stopped in the middle of an intersection where the streets of their residence converged. Their conversations were always littered by moments of silence that were triggered by words that placed things into perspective or took them out of the alternate universe their hazy affiliation. This was one of the few times she could not predict the end of this hushed moments and she didn't want to admit that she had barely let out a breath since they halted.

"Alright."

That was it and that was how she wanted to end the writing of their history. Though, although she saw it as finished, there was a hint of continuation in his confidence in his sub-tone. Maybe he knew as well as she did it that this was all on a whim and Temari didn't even know what was going to happen within the next hour. She could very well have cut the ties but just as easily set the rope aside for when she had another unsatisfied night with a replicated piece she thought could fit into the awkwardly shaped hole in her heart.

"Alright."

They both parted ways to their respected apartments and Temari forced herself to walk with her head held high. It wasn't the first time she let go of a man and it wouldn't be the last. She had no plans of settling down so she prepared herself well to shake off the unnecessary connections. It wasn't the first time she left him either, it was actually only slightly different than the other times. Now that she looked back, she realized that the pattern of steel was formed underneath it all and to break it she would have to use all of her strength but right now she was to dull. All she wanted was a bitter glass of wine and a comfortable bed.

"I'm going to be sore in the morning."

She then heard the sound of bells jingling down the opposite end of the street behind her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: An look into his heart**

Approximately 4 hours and 23 minutes. Temari's body felt like it was fusing with the chair she had been sitting on for 4 hours straight. No bathroom breaks, no stretches, just immobility.

_I probably have a clot circulating by now.. _

This whole time she had mapped out an efficiently ran meeting to where everything for settled in 45 minutes, which included all rebuttals, unannounced emotional eruptions and side conversations about which village now held a new secret jutsu. The only thing that kept her body functioning was the warm sunlight that was penetrating through the spotless glass windows that walled the circular meeting room. As she glanced across, she spotted Naruto next to Lady Tsunade trying his best to keep from fidgeting.

_This must be his first meeting…..ever.._

She probably figured the Hokage was grooming him early before handing him the reins of an entire village. His restless demeanor kept her slightly entertained and even brought her to the brink of inappropriate laughter when he abruptly dashed out the room saying that his bladder wasn't trained enough like the rest of them. All in all, this was her job and mission by Gaara to make sure she kept the relations on good terms between the two villages, which she took very seriously- not solely for the sake of peace but because she promised to protect and serve her little brother in any way she could. Whether she got any credit at all was the farthest thing on her mind.

"Alright. Let's break for the day. It seems that _some_ of us are having problems paying attention." The glare the Hokage gave Naruto even sent shivers down her spin but Naruto simply grinned in embarrassment before she grabbed him kicking and screaming to drag him out the door.

"Hm. What a relief." 4 hours at 30 minutes. Parting politely with everyone before making her way out, she tried her best not to look in a hurry to leave the political atmosphere. She was good at what she did but could only take so much before her nerves turned into mush. Upon stepping out into the bright sunlight, her skin relished the warmth of the bright afternoon to which she grinned contently. The building was in the center of the Jounin Standy Station complex which was surprisingly lax considering that the village's strongest and most powerful shinobi frequent here. You would think the grounds would be littered with training areas, information stations and groups of ninja's running drills or strategies. Nope. People were sitting around stuffing their faces, one ninja was passed out on the bench outside the main office and groups were spread out chatting about the day's news or leisurely making small talk. This was Temari's kind of place. Strolling past a small patch of trees by the entrance, she couldn't help but stop to admire at how nicely tey decorated the place and that's where she saw a familiar figure leaned back on a lonely bench in the thick of the shade.

_5 days, 13 hours….35 minutes…._

That's how long it's been since the last time she saw him, back turned to her, walking alone down the street to his house. After that moment, she erased him from her memory or at least she thought she did. Looking closely through the netted leaves she saw him more clearly and noticed there was something unsettling about his appearance. She took a step forward, probably out of habit but caught herself before she could fall back into the groove of things again.

"He didn't see me…."

Stepping cautiously, she attempted to turn and continue on her way but she couldn't leave the troubling feeling back under the shade where he was now flicking a lighter aimlessly in a repetitive pattern. He was far away while his body remained a broken record. She found herself helpless rewinding until she stood boldly in front of him.

"What are you doing?..." It wasn't so much a polite question but a statement demanding an answer.

"Passing." A simple answer that didn't give away too much of the inner struggle she had just went through to even be standing there.

"Hm." Not even so much as a glance in her direction. He wasn't even looking at the small flame that was being reborn as he spun the thumbwheel. "How are you…"

"Fine….what about you…" Masking her slight concern, she held onto her dull expression and nonchalant tone.

"I'll….be ok…" That was the only clue he gave away. It drew her in.

"Do you….want to talk…" What she said was so unlike her that she almost paused mid-sentence to find out where the disconnect was between her brain and her mouth. There must have been a short circuit but it was nothing she could fix now, nothing she could take back. His personal life was never supposed to be a concern for her.

The silence that followed made her slightly relieved until he answered. "I'm going to feed the deer." Leaning over to a slump, he flicked the lighter one last time from stuffing it deeply in his pocket. He got up and started to walk. She followed. To her dismay, it began again.

They said nothing the entire time and kept the pace beside each other, or at least she kept with him. Temari wasn't even sure it was Shikamaru she was walking with anymore. He would have usually made a clever joke or too, complained about the heat or gave a quick synopsis of rather exhausting mission. She would laugh. He would give a small smile. They would continue walking until they realized they had no idea where they were going. With him, there was no time but she suddenly began keeping track of the minutes they had been quiet.

_17…._

A few moments later, they had cleared the center of the city and walked out into a secluded corner of Konoha bordering a densely back forest who's green fauna breathed a calming life into the atmosphere. This was her first time every visiting the infamous Nara forest, known for it's tranquility, beauty and mystic enlightenment that was said to give the clan their known calm and composed demeanor. She had heard many stories about the sacred area but it was rare to find an outside who had ventured inside. Reading about it casually was good enough for her. She wondered if Shikamaru forgot that she was now trailing him because he kept walking towards the border of the grass plain and the thicket of trees and not noticed that she had stopped a few feet away. Out of respect for his clan, she wouldn't go any closer. He must have remembered after all because before he became fully engulfed inside, he paused for a moment, stuffing both hands in his pocket.

"What are you doing…."

It took her by surprise. "Respecting your clan grounds."

"Hm." Glancing back at her, his eyes deep eyes flickered an understanding signal.

_Is he…inviting me in? _

Before she could finish her though, he had vanished. She approached with apprehension.

Inside the forest was so much more than the books could ever describe and she too struggled with the perfect description. The closes she could get was a comparison to an untouched and unscathed jewel still fixed in the position in it was formed in, frozen in time with its purity composed within the dynamics of its sparkling walls. A new feeling of renewal and a vitality washed over her like her eyes had been only seeing a tunnel or a clouded vision of the world around her. It took her breath away but to Shikamaru, it was probably just a walk in a beautiful park. She promised to never tell a soul she came. Since she was slow and admiring the beauty around her, she lost him amount the trees before she even realized he was gone. To her relief, she spotted him standing in a small clearing where patches of sunlight broke through the canopy above his head. Before she thought he would move again, she went up to his side to see he was peering down a pile of rubble that formed a large hole. Although the rest of the forest was warm and inviting, this particular spot gave her chills that ran down her fingertips. Shikamaru was a stone until he took the lighter out of one pocket and a new pack of cigarettes in another.

_He went through another pack already?..._

His routine was half a pack a week at most so to see him starting on the second one before the week was over was something extremely out of the ordinary. She felt foolish that she noticed such a trivial piece about him. Although she wanted to speak (on this matter and many more), she held back her questions for another time or maybe never. Small talk was probably best at this most strange time but before the words could come out he said something.

"That bastard…that fucking fuck bastard." Lighting a new smoke, he drew it out longer than his usual routine. Temari frowned slightly at this new combination. "He's probably not even dead…"

"Who's not dead?.." This was all extremely foreign to her.

"The bastard…that killed my Sensei."

She froze in utter shock. There were few parts that Shikamaru never touched on to her and one was the death of his teacher. He had told her many stories about how his teacher lived and lessons he had learned but the part about his death she had aimlessly gathered from rumors, bits and pieces of what Ino had said and filling in the blanks with her own imagination. Not once did she expect him to come out and anything on the subject matter.

"What are you talking about?"

"Here." He kicked the few loose rocks that lay at the tips of his boots. "Is where I buried his sorry ass but...he's probably still alive."

_How is that possible…._

"I wanted to kill him." He drew his cigarette again and exhaled what pent up frustration he had "Oh trust me….I wanted to kill him more than I ever wanted to kill anyone in my entire life." Flicking a spark on the ground, he crushed it. "But he can't die…the fucking odds that I'd get put up against a guy who can't die…It's hilarious. Don't you think?" He turned to her and she wasn't sure if he wanted an answer but he quickly turned away. "He said he was real proud of me you know?"

Temari was looking at him, speechless with her eyes rounded as she watched him slowly start to crumble beside her and collapse in on himself like a dying star.

(*STOP* Please open up another window and play this before continuing to read: watch?v=JDj8f87HoU8 )

"He told me he was passing on his will of fire to _me_…Can you believe that? Out of all the possible people he could have chosen, he picked me. A sorry….lethargic… good for nothing sloth who couldn't even save him….He called me a genius…." Folding his arms tightly to himself, he puffed and looked up at the sky. "You sure about all this Sensei? I mean are you really fucking sure you wanted to give it to me?"

It was all so much to take in. It was too much in fact but he had gone too far beyond her reach to even try and offer a pitiful consolation. The only thing she could do was watch him fall farther than she had ever seen. He suddenly crouched down in front of the uneven earth, motionless, uneasily motionless.

"Why couldn't I have saved him Temari?...I've replayed it all in my head probably hundreds of times and found hundreds of ways I could have stopped it and yet….I did none of them. The guy who was praised for being 50 moves ahead got thrown for a loop…"Silence. "He was more than just my sensei..other than my old man he was the only other person I wanted to be like. Temari I wish you could have met him…it was like my purpose as a ninja was to fight next him until I died. I planned that, as crazy as it sounded. No matter how old I got, or how high I ranked I would never surpass him…and I was ok with that. I had a prurpose…Me! Shikamaru! Finally had a reason other than duty to do stuff. He taught me about life, about friends, about being a real shinobi but the lesson I never expected to learn from him was about death!"

"Shikamaru…"

He punched the ground-or was it the ground he was really aiming for? "I failed..." He hit it again. "I failed…" Again. "I failed! I'm a failure!" With bleeding knuckles, a tight lip and a broken heart, Temari stood by helplessly while he let it out.

There was too much emotion in this place for her to handle anymore. The blackness and sorrow of his heart grew too big for her to shoulder and she too found herself caving. Her emotions succumbed to the gravity and she felt the weight he carried every day. The pressure to replace his father, the pressure to rise to every occasion, the pressure to keep himself together, the pressure to live in a world where it pulled him under the waves sometimes faster than he could come up for air. For the first time, she had entered the world of reality with him and how life outside of their bubble could sometimes be a battle zone. The respect she had for him reminded her of how well he stood against the wind and the rain, the death the suffering, the destruction and danger but to see him crack as he let it all out tore a scar inside deeper than any war wound. In the midst of his frustration and anguish she saw them form in the in the whites of his eyes.

_No. Not today. _

Quickly, she turned on her heels before she broke and started to walk away. As she walked, her breathing became shallow, it was harder to swallow and soon it was harder to see past the mist that clouded her vision. She wasn't that far off when she heard it. He broke. Behind her, he broke into a million pieces and turned into a million tears. Cursing and crying as he continued to break through the ground, he repeated the promise that he made in the hospital room after the mission for Sasuke. She shouldn't have been so hard on him that day.

_I can't do this. _

It was then that she started running, running away from the possibility that at any given time, that could have been her. Too many times, she came close to losing Gaara but fortune had smiled upon her to allow him to live. She was not going to grapple with the possibility, nor was she going to watch him grapple with the reality so with her hands holding back her emotional pain that was choking at her throat she ran. As far as she ran, she couldn't escape the tears that crept down her cheeks like reminders of how cruel life can be.

She finally made it out into the open sunshine, stumbling and panting, crying and denying that she even shared that small moment with him. This made her want to forget him even more, not to erase just the memory of his face on summer Sunday mornings but the pain she suddenly found herself trying to carry for him. With her hands on her knees, she tried to breathe again but everything was still too fast.

_Why? Why was it him? This is…unfair….why couldn't it have been someone else….someone I didn't know…someone that didn't matter….He must feel so alone._

It was at that moment that it hit her. He must have felt so isolated, unable to show anyone that he wanted to be weak and angry and hold a grudge and lose control and blame someone. To leave someone alone like that would be cruel and a punishment, to not be there to offer him an escape was just as insufferable as going through the pain initially. She would go back. Even if it caused her to pain, even if she had to suffer with him and carry the weight on her shoulders, she would offer him an alternative that he didn't consider. Turning around, she was prepared to go until she found herself looking eye to eye with a brown eyed boy looked like he'd been waiting for her this entire time.

"Shikamaru…."

His gaze glanced down to her face still stained with the tears of her thoughts. A sudden flush of embarrassment. A sudden consciousness that she had allowed him to see her bend. Quickly she attempted to wipe her face but was blocked by a gentle gesture that satisfied a hidden need for physicality. With his thumb, he caught the last of the manifested emotions. There were no words exchanged in that moment, just the sudden understanding that drifted from his peaceful gaze that quieted her spirit. The wind blew softly through the trees and all was as it seemed again. She wouldn't have minded if they never said anything to each other because all that needed to be relayed was assumed.

And yet. "Temari….Thank you." There it was, that gentle smile of his that never had to stretch to far to make an impression. She found a new appreciation for this and couldn't help but return the gesture. It was only a few seconds they remained face to face in the still of the afternoon sun. He went past her and walked away. She followed.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: A deeper feeling**

"Well, well well if it isn't the two little love birds." Naruto stuck is head mischievously over the bar where Temari and Shikamaru were just starting on their late ramen lunch.

"Speak for yourself Naruto." Looking behind him, Temari saw Hinata shyly wave to her to which she smiled at the fortune of her friend. Naruto quickly noticed what was going on when he wasn't paying attention. He quickly straightened up.

"I was just uh…walking Hinata home. She hurt her hand and I just wanted to make sure everything was ok."

"She looks fine to me." Shikamaru decided to play around with his idiot comrade.

"Uh…it's an internal thing!"

"Why not take her to the hospital?" Temari amusingly leaned her cheek against her hand, tag teaming in the torture.

"It's something I can fix?"

"And what do you know about medicine Naruto?"

"I know what a fraction is."

"A fracture?" Shikamaru chimmed in.

"Goodbye." Grabbing Hinata, he carted off realizing he had been beaten at his own game. Temari was tickled by this idea that he thought he could outsmart them both and it sent her on a laughing fit.

"That moron." Rolling his eyes, Shikamaru continued his meal.

"Some friends you got there."

"He's a basket-case but….put him against the grain and he'll beat almost anybody. Even I'd be a little nervous facing him on the battle field…."

_Is he serious?_

He never showed interest in fear, like some sort of foreign land you're forced to identify on a map but you know that if it disappeared you wouldn't even notice. It could be that, or he just never chose to show it. She was a tad bit disappointed that she may not have been on his list of people to watch out for, especially since she's grown a lot stronger since their last battle those years ago in the chunin exams. No longer was she a boastful inexperienced little genin. No, Temari was a proficient, mature kunoichi who set her legacy in stone rightfully so and to be revered by someone like Shikamaru she saw as another cross-off on her bucket list.

"I see." Pouting wasn't very becoming so she quickly dispelled the thought.

"This ramen is good Pops….whaddya put in it this time?" Scarfing it down like they just came out of a famine, she had never seen him so tenaciously hungry. This would probably be the most effort he put into anything he did today, or so she thought.

"Now you know I'll never tell but I will tell you this, it's not deer. So don't worry!" Pops was rolling in his own joke all by himself while his daughter looked on embarrassed.

"Ha Ha Ha…." Shikamaru was not so amused.

She watched them both go back and forth with clever remarks and sharp comebacks like two old geezers in a battle of wit. Shikamaru could hang with the oldest of them. He had the soul of a veteran in the body of a kid so he could hang with the best of them. That could be why she always forgot that he was only 18. The youngest guy she'd ever been with. No one seemed to notice unless they asked his age. Many times they would think he was even older than she was.

"Hey Temari please put a restraint on your boy toy before I teach him a good lesson!" Pops bonked Shikamaru on the head with a metal spoon.

"Boy toy? Whatever do you mean?" She gave Shikamaru a sly glance to which he smirked and continued to eat his food.

"You two still at that game again? Ah reminds me of when I was young….Welp you guys can't keep the charades up forever so it's only a matter of time before we find out or you guys stop fooling yourselves."

"Keep waiting pops. You'll be waiting in vain."

…

Temari realized the day had been wasted when she watched the sunset at the station where she and Shikamaru had spent hours in mindless conversation. There was always something to talk about with him especially since many their ideals were eerily similar. His intelligence intrigued her but his lack of action for his thoughts annoyed her more than she liked.

"You're a waste you know Shikamaru?"

He tiled his head to the side. "Why do you say that?"

"Because you sit here discussing so many plans that would go off without a hitch and yet here you sit….just barely a Jounin…"

"Psh. I have no intention of giving myself more than I can handle….that's what happens when you voice your ideas. I don't care about getting credit or praise all that much…I just want to live and help out when it's really necessary…"

"I still think you would have made a great Hokage if you just stepped it up, you know?" Giving him that scary, yet beautiful smile.

Pausing thoughtfully, it was almost as if he had seriously considered the idea for a split second. "Nah. I think Naruto is perfect for the job…surprisingly. He's a bone head but he won't fail. I believe in him." She had to give him credit with a slight smile. His loyalty to his friends was admirable. Closing his eyes, she thought he was going to actually fall asleep right where he sat. "You leave in a few days…"

"Yea….I'm sure Kankuro is knee deep in paperwork and hasn't told Gaara. He's not exactly the most organized but he's trying to make things easier for our brother."

"Gaara…He's different."

"I'd accept him even if he wasn't. He's my little brother…" A sudden wave of nostalgia came over her when she remembered the last time she saw him before her trip. He was training his star pupil with such intensity that he didn't notice she was watching. She was so proud of him and everything he had accomplished in his lifetime, all the love he had collected from the village and the respect of an entire nation. All thanks to Naruto. Gaara was a prime example of how a good person can help you find the good in yourself and give you the push to be better than who you once were. She watched the scene play out against the cotton candy clouds that covered the partially visible sun. "The sunset…it's beautiful."

"It is." He stretched his arms out on the side of the bench and leaned the back of his head against the tree trunk behind them. Thus began their silent appreciation of being able to spend some time releasing pressure.

She thought the moment would last a lot longer but Shikamaru cut it short. "Here." Reaching into his pocket he grabbed a skinny cloth bag tied with a red ribbon around it. It was so unexpected that it took her a moment to register that she was actually supposed to take it. "Just take it."

"What's this?" She tried to play it cool but deep down she was churning with suspicion and- was that a little excitement?

_The hell is going on here?..._

"I realized I missed your birthday last month…since you were back in the Sand Village."

"I didn't really care. I'm sure you were busy." She was still looking down at the bag gently sitting in the palm of her hand.

"I was. I never intended on getting you anything….gifts can be such a drag to pick out. You gotta worry about the price, the colors, what style they like…just shit that makes my head hurt."

_Why is he doing this?..._

"Well, I guess since you went through all of this trouble I might as well open it." The moment of truth. Untying the ribbon that wasn't so tight, she pulled the drawstring and emptied the content into her other hand. Her look of bafflement faded into a soft appreciation and for a moment she thought she was going to let her emotions slip out again. A sensu fan. Carefully, she opened it up to a painted scene of a forest painted with a deep green color. The sky above was a smooth cream and the mood a bright purple orb was held high in the sky. It was unlike anything she'd ever seen and she was captivated by how such a simple picture had drawn in such a classic and elegant presence. "Shikamaru…." She forgot she was thinking out loud.

"Don't get all emotional on me. I just saw it in the marketplace and figured you like that sort of thing."

Grabbing a hold of herself, she cleared her throat. "Oh. Yea. Thanks. That was nice of you." Folding it up, she put it back in the bag. "Does that mean I owe you one for your missed birthday?"

"Nah. Not really into birthday stuff. Why get worked up over another year older and I can look forward to another year of more responsibility. What a pain. I know you women like that stuff though."

_There he goes being cynical again…_

Stretching his hands out further on the back of the bench, he didn't realize that his finger lightly brushed against the back of her neck. It caught them both off guard stumbling of half-hearted apologies before they got quiet again.

"It's getting late." Temari wanted to distance herself a little a sort out the reasons why her heart rate just spiked for a second.

"You're right."

She got up and started walking. He followed.

…

There was an all too familiar tension between the pair as they drifted down the lit up streets of Konoha. They walked slightly apart, but the static was a storm between them that other people could sense as they watched them go by. Temari wasn't sure but she thought she saw pops stick his head out from the shop and give her a quick wink. She could have been imagining things. Lifting his hands behind his head and she clasping hers behind her fan that was strapped to her back, they kept up this charade until they reached the fork in the road. In unison, they came to a stop.

"I made salmon sushi…" Shikamaru turned his back to look down his end of the street.

"Sushi….I like Sushi…"

"I'm not going to finish it all. I ate too much ramen."

"You had the strength to make sushi."

"I'm just as surprised as you are." Without thinking too much about it, the pair took their time down the quiet road that lead to the little building that looked like any other building. You would have never seen it as anything special unless you know Shikamaru.

He held the door open. He always tried to hold the door open, casually pull out chairs, amongst other chivalrous things. Temari was not one to have that and most of them time, she met his hands with her own. She never cared to much about those old school ways of treating women, they seemed outdated and unheeding to the fact that if she could kill a ninja dead in one move, she could hold her own door. This time though, she let it slide and walked into his quiet apartment. He threw the keys down on his table and removed his green vest.

"I keep telling them it's too hot for this stuff in the summer…"

She unstrapped her fan and leaned it against the wall in a corner. "Did you give them an alternative?"

"I will…maybe.."

Temari made herself comfortable and took off her gloves. Although she knew she wouldn't need to use her Tessen, she still wore her protective gloves just in case.

"Now, let me warn you that any type of sickness that comes from eating my food just comes with the territory. Take it or leave it."

"I've been closer to death. So, I think I can handle some sushi." Sticking out from over her shoulder was a plate with 4 rolls in it.

"You girls are picky about your portion size."

"You see, you missed to find the difference-" She took the plate with the chop sticks on the side. "I'm a woman." After taking on bite, she almost couldn't believe that Shikamaru made this. "Hm. Not bad"

"That troublesome woman told me that just because I'm bachelor, doesn't mean I have to eat like one." Sitting beside her, he popped one in his mouth.

"I like her."

"You would."

They exchanged chemistry again with sideways glances before continuing their usual subjects of conversation. Temari had about 8 rolls, to Shikamaru's surprise, before she was completely stuffed. Yawning and extending her arms above her head, she forgot that he was behind her and tickled his lower torso. "Oh. Sorry."

"Yea." Oddly, he didn't seem too surprised at all and with that secretive smile of his, he vanished into his bedroom. The tips of her fingers tingled as she pulled away with a sudden rush of adrenaline.

_I think I should go before I throw myself deeper in._

Wanting to slip out without him noticing, she crept out the living room towards her fan but noticed something on top of it. A black t shirt. Placing her hands on her hips, she gave the subtle invitation a look over and sighed. How was she supposed to go turkey? Deciding that she was way too tired to go home anyway, she snatched it up and went for the guest bathroom on the other side of the living room.

"You're a sucker Temari." Leaning against the sink, she looked at herself in the mobile mirror rather pitifully. "You could have just went home when you had the chance but no…." Scolding herself wasn't helping because she had already made her decision. In the midst of her wallowing she spotted a piece of rice stuck to her cheek and ran her fingers smoothly down her face to try and get rid of. She felt the memory of his hands walking across her lips during their hush-hush rompings, which caused her to momentarily pause.

_Snap out of it. _

Slightly slapping her face to bring her conscious back, she stood up straight. "Tonight, you stand your ground." To prevent herself from seeing how helpless she had become, she turned the mirror away by opening up the small medicine cabinet door it was attached to up. Straightening herself up, she prepared to undress before he came out of his room. The first thing to do was remove her Kimono. Reaching across her shoulder to try and loosen up her sleeve, she began to wriggle her arm out. Very strangely though, she felt her arm stiffen. Panicking, she felt the rest of the muscles in her body become rigid. "What the hell is going on?!" She thought she was frozen in this position but her arm began to move slowly. Without her consent, she slipped herself out of the sleeve of her obi and watched it fall to her side. Next, the other arm was drawn out and that sleeve dropped. The cool air of his apartment hit her exposed chest but she was sweating in a frenzy about what was going on. Searching for some sort of weapon, or anyway to break this hold on her, she realized she had no choice but to call for him.

"Shika-" Luckily, her eyes scanned the corner of the mirror and she almost lost it. Shikamaru was coolly standing in the doorway in the same position with one of his arms across his chest with the same arm she had covering her breast. "maru…."

Not saying one word, he casted his guilty yet unapologic face downward. He began to walk backwards. She followed.

_I'm going to kick his ass….._

Her body took her backwards into his moon-lit room, still covering herself. There was no way of escape here. There were enough shadows everywhere from the moon and the various furniture for her to admit that she was trapped. She could hope that he would run out of chakra but he wasn't the little genin boy she fought those years ago. He was a jounin. More importantly, he was a man now. "Shikamaru I'm going to cut you to pieces…"

"I can take it." He led her as far into the room as he could before she spotted a second black shadow creep from the one made by the window against the opposite wall. She gasped as she watched it stretch all the way out to her and climb up her legs and under the bottom of her kimono.

"What the-" Something tugged at her undergarments underneath. "Shikamaru I swear…" She shut her eyes, straining to gain control of her body as it came snaking back down her leg, bringing the barely there panties with it. One leg stepped out followed by the other and it was thrown halfway across the room. Not only was she topless, but there was also nothing to hide between her legs. Now, there was one thing you need to know about Shikamaru, although he never put too much effort into a great number of things, he could easily channel his motivation if he so choose to. The one thing that always got him going was a game, as long as it didn't cost him too much energy and Temari realized that although he acted like a self-composed, lazy bum he still could be as determined as any. Also, he was still a man with needs of his own and to him, foreplay was slightly under shogi. They've had their share of encounters that started with an unexpected moment in his office that lead to rendezvous at apartments, with each giving away a small piece of the type of sex he liked but this one came completely out of left field. Their physical relationship had taken a pause 2 months ago and she swore up and down they would make a clean break but he had other ideas.

"Now, how do I let you go without letting you get away?..." The warmth of her limbs slowly came back to her and she was fully prepared to make a run for until she saw that the creep had positioned another shadow infront of the door to catch her. Gritting her teeth as she finally regained the feeling in her leg, she figured she would lure him in and take him down. Two could play at this game.

_Here he comes…._

Not once did she expect him to counter her attack but the way he held her arm that was swung behind her with the intension of knocking him out, really made her realize how much she underestimated him.

"Checkmate." With one tug, the bow on her obi was gone and her dress a heap below her feet. She had lost the physical struggle. Since a fight didn't get him, she used her wit against his.

"So…this was your plan all along?" His lips lit up the back of her neck in between replies.

"Nah…this was…too easy…to plan." She was slightly insulted as to how simple he took her for.

"I never thought you were one to give in to temptation Shikamaru."

"You forget I'm human. I'm allowed this stuff ever so often….doesn't bother me one bit."

"Hmpf." His arms slinked around her torso while he dipped further down to her shoulders. Her defiance gave a little with her shutter. "I'm not one to force anyone to do anything they don't want to." He bit at her shoulder. "Say the word."

_Say the word…Say the word Temari. _

The battle began between self vs self-control. Life with shikamaru was an uncertain fine line. She couldn't let herself care too much about him yet she couldn't care too little. The sex had always been mutually meaningless, a more biological release if it must be put so. They treated it like a hug, just something that happens between two people with that sort of relationship. They've done it with other people too without even thinking. Thus, it shouldn't have held any true barrier in the grand scheme of things. It was rather odd that she was fighting something that happened other times with no problem.

_It's sex…it's just sex with Shikamaru…..Never hurt before and now is nothing different…_

That was all she needed before she gave herself away to her urges and collapsed onto his mattress with no regrets or inhibition. She kissed him deeply and he guided her further back into the shadows of his bedroom. Lifting his shirt over his head, he grabbed her body quickly but his touch was leisurely and cool. Nothing was forced or timed but lulled in the moment and sucked out until the last drop. Their kind of passion was a slow burning flame that lasted until they very end of the wick instead of a spark that was bright and then faded into the darkness. They were lingering lovers. Holding her up against him, he pieced his body between her legs that quivered in awe of how perfectly he fit. She took the liberty of unbuttoning his pants and inching them off. That was always her part because that signified that she was willing and ready.

"Temari…" He spoke between his teeth that were grabbing at her nipples. "How long has it been…"

"36 days" Gasping for air. "21 hrs.." Grabbing his ponytail. "and 19 minutes…" Coming down with her lips to meet him.

"'Too long' would have been good enough…" Rising to his knees over her, the gently pushed her legs against her chest so her thighs were on the outside of her breasts. She looked at him in that way she knew would dispel any means of stopping and he returned it with the same look of never intending to end in the first place. It wasn't a moment too soon before he took the plunge and drew out her groan until she ran out of air. He hung onto her emotions and stretched her thin until he was satisfied. Shikamaru fucked like he smoked cigarettes.

His thrusts were smooth and passive so she felt the walls of her cervix squeeze tightly around him as if to beg him not to pull out completely. Torturing her lust was what he did best and as much as she hated to beg, she always found herself asking for more. A thing she always battered herself for after because Temari never begged a guy for anything. Pushing and pulling, sliding and gliding, he found his constant rhythm that kept her in sync without letting her experience anything too quickly. Sex with him was painful because he made her wait until the very last moment. Another thing she hated him for. This whole time her eyes were shut to shield her from his intense glare and the fear that his eyes could control her emotions. They were forced open though, when he grabbed her behind firmly and flipped her around onto her stomach. Things were getting serious. This new position allowed him to dig deeper into the center of her although he didn't need much time to find it. He hit it once. She screamed. He hit it twice, she was clawing for air again. He hit it a third time and she called out to him from the pillow she had her head in. The spot was probably sweeter to him than for her because he found another way to control her untamable character. It drove her mad but made her crazy. By this time she had lost all of her hair pieces and was face down on a pillow of her own tears that burned from the sensation of being close but not close enough. Gritting her teeth she tried to call out to his emotions.

"For fuck's sake shikamaru!...get on with it!" It did nothing. He hit it in sequence, driving his pelvis harder in defiance. This was a cruel and unusual punishment. She was swearing and cursing his existence through her teeth until she really couldn't barely hold onto her breath. This went on for 30 minutes, then an hour, then 15 minutes over. Temari was surprised she even made it that long before she began to make the climb. The higher she went, the less she could breath, the more she could feel and the more that she wanted. Doubled up with her tail in the air, her fingers tore into his pillowcase until it finally happened. It all hit her at once like a pile of bricks and she tensed herself to hold onto something she was waiting for this entire time. Her orgasm was mind numbingly, blindingly, energetically draining and just the way she liked it. Then, he came. Twice. She knew that because something splattered inside of her and she felt it dripping down the back her legs. Worrying about him was never a priority but she found herself relieved that he didn't find her that boring to fake it. Rolling her eyes into her head, her body went limp in his arm that was under her belly. This was all worth the wait.

"Damnit…shikamaru…" She was panting like a marathoner and sweating like one too. Easing her down slowly, he let himself roll onto the bed beside her. Not even a bead of sweat. "What the hell was that?" She never really asked questions but this warranted one.

"You breaking your sober streak I guess."

"Hm." He had her.

Letting out a chuckle, he put his hands behind the back of his head in satisfaction.

"What's with the attitude?" Glancing over at her, he eyes studied her narrow expression.

"You planned this…."

"Planned what? I dunno what you're talking about…" In that same nonchalant tone. Rolling over to face the wall, Temari found herself utterly belittled at how she could fall for such a simple trick and play on her emotions. The anger though, was slowly giving in the calming idea that what physical fire was flicker between them was now extinguished- or so she thought. Looking across at his alarm clock, she was surprised that it was only 10:30. The night was still young.

"Shikamaru…"

"Yea?"

"It's only 10:30." Listening carefully she didn't hear a sound and she honestly thought he had already fallen asleep until that is, she felt herself involuntarily roll onto her back once more.

_Hint taken. _


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Explanations and Surprises**

"Looks like Hinata is making a breakthrough." Temari was laid back in a cream cushioned lounge chair on his balcony. With her feet stretched out from underneath the sheets she fashioned into a white toga, she held a glass of nigori tightly between her tanned fingers.

"What?" She found Shikamaru star gazing in his blue night robe on a chair on the other end of the balcony. His feet kicked up comfortably on the small metal table.

"With Naruto."

"That idiot probably doesn't know what to do with her. He's a great warrior but completely oblivious when it comes to other things."

"Men in general are oblivious."

"I just choose not to care." He tilted his chair back a little while she gave him ah annoyed side stare. Typical.

"You and Sasuke are starting to sound a lot of like."

"Don't compare me to Sasuke. Sasuke has his priorities mixed up. I know exactly what I'm doing."

"And Sakura is suffering because of it."

"I kinda feel bad for her but it's her choice. I'm sure he'll come around though….surprisingly the guy isn't a complete stone."

"I guess." Shifting to hide the opening in her makeshift sheet clothing, Shikamaru gave her an exasperated sigh.

"Shouldn't you put on some clothes?"

"It bothers you that much huh? Scared someone will see me like this?" Her teasing caused a small spark in his demour but he quickly doused it.

"How you choose other people to see you is up to you…I was just looking out for your dignity. That's all. You women are always ranting about respect."

"I have respect and if I wanted more I can get more. If I'm not worried, neither should you."

"Yea, yea." He closed his eyes and she diverted her attention to the new moon that was pasted overhead. The silence allowed her a moment to reflect how she ended up here on his balcony being shielded by one of his bed sheets. Just as the events came, so did her slight anger.

"Why did you trick me Shikamaru?"

"Not this again. I didn't trick you or trap you or plan anything. You came on your own….and you know it…"

_He's right…_

"I came because I thought things were completely innocent between us."

"Since when had things ever been that way Temari? If things were innocent then I don't think we'd be here."

"What do you mean?" Narrowing her eyes, she wasn't sure if she should be insulted or intrigued.

"Oh man…forget it."

"Shikamaru…"

"Just forget it."

"Shikamaru…"

"Troublesome woma- I mean the reason why we work in a sense is because we're both completely honest and straightforward with how things really work." Surprisingly, that answer sufficed. "I'm not the type to be oblivious like Naruto, mixed up like Sasuke, in one of those weird internal psychological battles like Neji or just a complete question mark like Sai. You don't hide yourself like Hinata, stand by waiting like Sakura, are unsure like Tenten…I mean, you are pushy like Ino but we're not gonna go there. That's why their relationships are going that way and what we have is going this way. That's why it works I guess…"

He was right. He was completely right. There was no other guy she'd ever met who could understand what it was. She suddenly saw herself as fortunate.

"Yea. I'm sure they'll all realize what they need to do to get things right. I'm glad nothing is wrong with us."

"I wouldn't say that. We have our own problems but…"

"But we'll figure it out when we get there."

Shikamaru gave her applause with his pleased expression. "You're smarter than you look…" He didn't even get a second to dodge the thin metal ash tray that clocked him right in the skull.

"Ow! What the hell!?"

"That's for calling me troublesome."

…...

"You're leaving so soon Temari!" Ino was the first to throw her arms around Temari unexpectedly. Not being use to hugs, she wasn't sure what to make of it but she played along.

"Ha ha. I mean, I've been here a month now. I gotta get back to my own home."

"B-but Temari…This is your home too." Hinata stood to the side of her.

"Really? Well I guess I better get a second address here then."

"Does Shikamaru know you're leaving?" Sakura gave her a mischievous smirk.

"I don't know. What would it matter if he did?" Temari wasn't so easily defeated.

"Ugh! This is just tiresome! Won't you two admit it already?! I mean, we all know that you guys are together so why not just come out with it already." Tenten stomped over from down the street looking quite perturbed.

"Spend less time worrying about a fictitious relationship and more time sorting out your Neji issue." Checkmate. Tenten was stopped in her tracks and muttered something to herself that made her blush. "Well ladies, I'm off! Take good care of yourselves and those idiotic men in your life."

"Sai can be a dumbass…" Ino whispered under her breath as she probably looked back on all of the unwise things he's done.

Waving as she walked towards the gate, she soon lost sight of the group of girls. "They've grown up so much. As much as I wish they'd mature, I don't want them to loose what makes them…them.."

"I wouldn't mind if Ino lost some of that bossy attitude." Shikamaru leaned against the gate with his arms folded, looking out towards the empty road outside the city. It took Temari for a surprise. "You didn't tell me what time you were leaving…"

"I guess it just never occurred to me to expound on the little details of my day." Walking up to him, she stopped right underneath the overpass.

"Next time you come, they gave me orders to be you're escort so….as much as it will be a pain, it will be my business to know your business." She figured he was frowning at how much work that will be for him but she merely grinned at this torture.

"Well…until next time then.." Giving him a small salute, she started on her journey before she heard him call out to her.

"Temari."

"What?"

"Where's the fan?"

"Oh." Reaching behind her Tessen strapped to her back, she had a little bag she used to keep some belongings. Finding it rather odd that he would even bother to worry about it, she pulled it out regardless. "See. You can stop using up energy to worry now."

"I wasn't." In a small huff, she turned around and walked off in the opposite direction.

Temari couldn't help but laugh as she continued on. "Idiot."

…

It took her a few days but she finally had the sand village in sight. Over a giant dusty desert, the sight of her home sent a rush of adrenaline followed by a calming peace that everything was as she left it. Squinting her eyes, in the distance she saw a large figure in a black hood and she automatically knew who it was.

"Temari!"

"Kankuro!" Without fail, her little brother always stood there by the gate to greet her upon her arrival home. When she walked up to him, they both gave a toothy smile and she flashed back to that close connection they had as kids.

_Some things never change…_

"Welcome back Temari."

"Glad to be back." He escorted her inside in the midst of the hustle and bustle of noon day in the village. The people took the time to stop what they were doing to greet her as she came by.

"Lady Temari! Welcome back!" "The sun has done wonders to your complexion Temari-san!" "Finally! I'm sure Lord Gaara misses you!"

_Gaara…_

The image of his office probably overrun with papers and scrolls made her wince but what got to her more was the image of him probably all alone amongst the chaos of it all. When her mother was pregnant with Gaara, she must have known that something would happen because her last message to Temari was to watch over Gaara and Kankuro as best as she could. Apologizing to her only daughter that she had failed as a mother to protect them, she entrusted Temari with her will and told her she would be always be proud no matter what.

"_You're my daughter, Temari. You are strong. I know you will do great."_

Although she didn't understand at the moment, it was all clear now. Her youngest brother carried the biggest burden, the greatest responsibility and happily shouldered the entire village that came to love and respect him. Her whole life she had spent trying to protect him from the cruelty of other people only for him to turn around and protect other people from the cruelty of the world. Gaara was more of an amazing person than she could ever become. She quickened her pace at the thought of seeing him again.

"Gaara…" Standing at the doorway to a surprisingly spotless office, she saw him quietly signing papers.

"Ha! You probably thought Gaara and I would let this place turn upside down. Admit it Temari! You were wrong!" Kankuro stood proudly next to his brother who gave a very small smile.

"Welcome back Temari." His husky voice melted her inside. Standing up, he walked over to where she was and looked her dead in the eye. "Now….admit that we are not so helpless without you."

"Huh?" Temari looked down at Gaara whose smile was a little wider and she thought she saw a twinkle in his eyes. He may be pretty mature for his age to most people but nevertheless, he could still be her smart-alec little brother. "Alright…you two aren't so dimwitted after all."

"Hey!" Kankuro clearly resented that but she couldn't help but laugh at how she threw them both for a loop.

"Since I'm not needed here, I'm gonna go home and shower. I feel like a dirt magnet."

"Temari…you'll come for dinner right?" It was a tradition that on the night anyone returned from a journey the three of them would have dinner together to celebrate.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world Gaara."

Unstrapping her things from her back was sounding even more exhilarating as she made her way to her apartment. Carrying around a steal Tessen was no easy task, even if she had been doing it since the age of 10. The weight of her body to the fan always remained proportional but even so, it could do a number on her shoulders.

"Lady Temari. I see you have returned from your travels." That grouchy voice could only be owned by one person.

"Elder Rie…..How nice of you to notice." Politely but flatly. This woman was a thorn in her side to say the least.

"Now since you're back, you should make time to fix yourself." The bony old woman women dressed in a cream robe walked up next to her from behind, giving her the once over.

"I feel and look fine thank you." She subtly tried to pick up the pace but the ancient woman was quicker than she looked.

"You're too old to be running around playing Ninja Temari."

"I don't think 20 old at all."

_Bitch. _

"My my, young girls these days are sure losing touch with their femininity….wearing armor, running around with kunai knives and trying to do the job of men."

Temari was just about finished with the old hag. From the day she turned 18 she had been heckled and poked about how unlady like she was, how she needed to "exchange chakra for childbearing" and finding a "good man". If she knew anything about Temari she would realize that she was never going to give up being a ninja and finding a "man" was not on the top of her list. Whatever she would do with her life, she would do it her way and that was all there was too it.

Lucky for Lady Rie, Temari found herself at the exit to the Hokage headquarters. "I'll be going now. Good day." Stomping off in a hustle, she was back out onto the street and away from the parasite of a human being.

It wasn't soon enough that she reached her apartment, still seething from her encounter a few minutes ago. "That good for nothing wretch! Telling me I need to find a man! She should take a good look in the fucking mirror, that old senile geezer!" In a huff, she released her hair and headed straight to the shower. Maybe it was the heat that got her all riled up.

Taking her time under the cool water, she felt like a new woman. There was nothing like being home in her own apartment where everything was as it should be. Being the Kazekage's older sister had it's perks because she was able to find the nicest furniture. She paid the usual price for them though because she wasn't going to take bribes or gifts strictly based on her standings. Being a very prudent spender, her savings was so much that she could probably retire now and live comfortable for the rest of her life.

"Psh…retire." Scoffing at the thought of ever putting down her Tessen, she emerged from her room just in time to hear a knock at her door.

"Temari-san!" Yukata.

"We heard you were back!" Matsuri.

"Open up! We brought welcome back gifts." Sari.

"Oh great…" While Temari didn't mind company, there were still many times she enjoyed being alone and now was one of them. Sadly, there was no way to escape these girls because word spreads like a hard wind across the Sand Village, as big as it was. "Coming."

Opening the door, she was bombarded with fresh flowers, candy, and many hand written cards. "Wh-what's all this?"

"All us genin girls decided to make you welcome back cards and add our own little extra stuff to it. Isn't it super?" Yukata made herself comfortable very quickly.

"Make sure you read mine first." Matsuri whispered as she too strolled in.

"I know you like chocolate and all but could you leave a little for me? The strawberry filled ones would be nice." Sari gave her a wink.

Temari stood there, bewildered with all of the items that were practically falling out of her hands. "Uh…thanks?"

"No problem! We're just happy you're back safe Lady Temari." Yukata stretched herself out nicely on the couch.

"So tell us….what happenening in Konoha? I heard the city is looking great now that the rebuilding is basically done." She was surprised Matsuri didn't ask about Gaara. That's usually what she led up to.

"Yea…it's looking nice." She tried to be gentle when putting the things on the table but they all came crashing down. "Something else for me to clean…"

"Did you see Shikamaru?" Sari gave a mischievous smile.

"And what does it matter if I did or didn-" Temari was quickly cut off by squeals and giggles.

"How romantic! Long distance love!" Yukata was in her own world day dreaming.

"Long distance nothing. Now, cut it out."

"I'm so fed up with your denial Temari-san. There is nothing wrong with admitting that you like someone." Matsuri started to sift through the pile of gifts to find her own card.

"I'm not in denial because there's nothing to be in denial about!"

"There she goes getting defensive again." Sari sighed in frustration.

"Hey! Hey! Yukata stop poking around!" It was too late, it seemed that the bright eyed genin had already found the cloth bag with Shikamaru's strange gift inside.

"Ohhh Temari! Did you get this in Konoha?!" Yukata was about to open it when Sari quickly snatched it.

"A sensu fan! Hm." Before Temari could grasp it from her curious little clutches, she flipped it open with a gasp.

"It's so beautiful!" Matsuri swooned at the delicate and detailed scenery.

"Wait! Look at the corner of the fan! Is that what I think it is?!" Yukata was pointing to a small mark in the corner that Temari had to squint to even realize it was there.

"I don't get it. What is it?"

"Temari…this is a sensu fan made by master Tensen!"

"You have a master Tensen fan! You lucky bitch!" Sari slapped Temari on her back so hard that it caused her to cough a little.

"Ok. I still don't get it! It's a simple fan from the market place."

"What idiot would sell an orginal, one of a kind, hand painted Tensen fan!? And in a marketplace?!"

_Tensen….why does that name sound so familiar... _

"Lady Temari…_he_ was the one that made your Tessen!" Matsuri said it as if Temari was partially brain dead.

"Hm….that's why it sounded so familiar." Temari walked over and opened her giant fan, causing a gust of wind to sweep through the house and scatter all the cards Matsuri had so carefully organized. Low and behold, there was the symbol of the dove all the way in the corner. It was so small that it was no wonder she never really noticed it.

"I heard your fan was a special commission that the previous Kazekage had him make. Not only did he have to pay triple the money, he had to supply all the material and provide special traveling expenses and escorts for Tensen to come and make it in the village. Every time they had to have it readjusted when you grew, that cost a heavy hunk of change too. Ugh! Why can't I get cool stuff?" Yukata folded her arms and pouted to herself.

"Wow….I had no idea my father went through all that." He wasn't the type to do something so special for his children. "But I mean, my fan is huge so it makes sense why it cost so much. That's just a little sensu."

"Temari, this little sensu is a mission's wage easy!" Sari's statement almost made her choke again.

_So that bastard lied to me…._

"Not only that, but a commission for this little thing takes an entire month! I've been on the waiting list for a year." Matsuri slammed her hand down in anger, scattering more cards. "A whole year…"

"How the hell did you get a hold of this anyway?" Sari was pretended to fan herself from the heat.

"Um…"

_Think of a lie quick!_

"Um…"

_Hurry up!_

"A friend gave it to me!"

_Temari you dumbass. _

A friend as in…" Yukata looked at the other two.

"Shikamaru!" The girls yelled out in unison, shrieking with delight over their new piece of news.

Grabbing her fan, she stuffed it back in the bag quickly. "It was not Shikamaru! I have other friends you know!"

"Ok, ok. We know you have lots of admirers Temari-san. You're so lucky you get boys so easily…." Matsuri sighed, probably referring to Gaara.

"You got enough guys coming on to you in the village alone." Sari shook her head in agreement.

"I do? Well I never noticed." In order to keep her affairs quiet, she never formed anything outside of a professional relationship with guys from the Sand Village. That's just asking for a mess.

"But we know you're heart belongs to Shikamaru." Yukata was smiling at the thought.

"My heart belongs to no one, especially him. My heart belongs to me and that's the way it'll stay." Nodding in confidence, she went into her room to find a good hiding spot for this nuisance of a gift. She decided to put it in a small hold she carved in the wall behind her bed. That would keep it out of the clingy hands of guests and the eyes of curious people. Before she placed it inside, she gave the fan one last look over and shook her head. "I hope they are lying about this….I really hope they're lying."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Unexpected**

Temari's vision changed from ceiling, to wall, to pillow, to wall, to ceiling and reverse. Tonight she felt a lot more restless than usually, which was strange considering the fact that she just came from a long journey and usually knocks out her first night back. Finding herself facing her night table, she quickly shut her eyes before she had the chance to look at the alarm clock. The last thing she wanted to know is exactly how long she had spent as a whirlwind in her bed. Sadly though, she couldn't help it and cracked one eye slightly open.

_2 am…_

It had been 5 hrs since she had initially tried to go bed. It was time to give up trying to force herself into slumber. Rising from under her thin sheets, Temari's foot hit the cold ground of her quiet apartment and she sighed in frustration.

"I guess since I can't sleep….I might as well head to the practice course."

Slipping into a comfortable pair of black pants and a black and red tunic, Temari headed out into the cool night air of the village hidden in the sand. The still streets and silence would disturb most other people venturing out at night, for the city looked quite formidable in it's most unobtrusive state, but not Temari. She was starting to wonder why she never trained at this hour before until she remembered her temperament when her sleep schedule got thrown off (she was now starting to pity the poor souls who would test her tomorrow). Finding her usual large clearing, she unstrapped her tessen and laid it down to stretch her muscles that were still worn out from that month of bad bedding in the Hidden Leaf.

"I would have felt a lot worse if I didn't listen to Shikamaru." There she went again talking about it and quickly scolded herself for bringing something she should have left in Konoha. Here, there was no Shikamaru and that's how it would stay.

Grabbing her large fan from the ground, she started with small gusts to warm up her chakra before she started working on her real technique. "First Star!" Letting out a wave of her fan, she managed to slice up a few of the stumps that were purposely rooted deep into the ground. Minimal chakra but good practice.

_That brat Konohomaru got it easy when I used it on him…He should have thanked me._

"Second Star!" Using a little bit more umpf this time, not only did she cut up more of the trunks but she uprooted many of them as well.

_If Shikamaru didn't butt in, I would have been able to dodge that Rasengan just fine…No Temari! Stop thinking about him!_

"Damn Shikamaru. Why won't you stay in Konoha?! Third Star!" This jutsu combined the effects of the first two and created deep sickle scars in the solid earth. By this time she had her chakra at a comfortable enough flow to move on to more advance technique. That didn't stop her from going on a temporary rant about that 'damn Konoha sloth'. "Get out of my head! Get out, get out, get out!" Huffing and puffing from being so bewildered as to why she was thinking about him at 2 in the morning and why she was even awake the first place, she started pacing back and forth swearing and cursing. She was so into her thoughts that she didn't notice someone come up behind her.

"Temari…"

Doing a 180, she spun on her heels to find Gaara standing a few feet behind her. Although he didn't look it, she could tell he was slightly puzzled as to why she was out at such a late hour.

"Oh. Gaara…"

"Why are you practicing? I would think you would be in bed." His deep voice was husky but very calming. She thought she wanted to be alone but Gaara's now company made her feel a lot better.

"I couldn't sleep I guess….I figured I should make the most of my time and train."

"I see." He walked up to her with his hands behind his back.

"What are you doing up?"

"I am always up at this time. I find the village at night a good time to think and reflect." His maturity far surpassed even some of the most upright elders in the village. He casually glanced upwards at the stars.

"Yea it is pretty nice out here isn't it? If I wasn't so set in my ways I'd definitely do more practicing this time." She met his interest in the twinkling stars above their heads. There was a silence between the two of them to which Temari got a little nervous as to what her youngest brother would say next.

_Did he hear me screaming like a maniac?_

"What were you screaming about?" She had really hoped he didn't hear her.

"Um…this and that. Being a diplomat can be very frustrating sometimes you know." Placing one hand behind her head, she gave a very forced chuckle. Gaara saw right through it.

"I have not really focused much of my attention on understanding women but being your brother, I understand you a lot more than I thought." His subtle way of calling her bluff.

"Understanding us would take a lifetime Gaara but I'm sure if you really wanted too, you could get farther than any guy."

"Maybe. I believe there is one person who knows you almost as well as Kankuro and I do."

"Oh? Who is that?"

Gaara said nothing but let out a very small smile which left Temari with more questions. He then changed the subject. "Did you enjoy dinner?"

"Yea…..about that..."

"Kankuro should never be let in the kitchen again."

"I'm glad you said it!" Temari started to laugh so hard that it became too infectious for Gaara to resist. It was sad that after all of these years, it was very recent that Gaara every laughed. Even then, it was a rarity kept in the privacy of his siblings. Every moment she actually heard her brother truly enjoy himself was one that she treasured deeply.

"Temari…"

"Yea Gaara?"

"You can talk to me."

"Huh?"

"I am sorry I was not the sibling you and Kankuro deserved but I believe now I can try and mend our relationship that was strained in the past…" He took a few steps closer to her. "So I wanted to let you know that you can talk to me and that I will always support and defend you."

"Gaara…"

"I am sure Kankuro feels the same way." Giving her another beam again, he turned and began walking away towards the village. He must have sensed that she should go back to being alone in her thoughts. Temari was left happily speechless. "Oh. Temari?"

"Yea Gaara?"

"It's ok to feel something towards him."

_Huh?.._

"Shikamaru I mean. Also, next time you feel like ranting, please do not do it when a lot of people are around. You will be known as the Kazekage's senile sister if you do." Vanishing between the buildings, Temari stood there in complete shock as to how forward her brother was. Not only that, she was slightly embarrassed that she was caught feeding into her feelings. That shock then turned into anger, not at herself for being so open about a private matter but at the person who was the root of the problem.

"Damnit Shikamaru! Take that!" Releasing a significant amount of chakra, she managed to completely severe the top of a large bolder on the practice field. "Hmpf!"

…..

Temari was right in her assumption that her late night practice session would cause some trouble in the morning. Waking up at 8 am for her weekly meeting with the other liaisons, she was in no mood to be reckoned with. Everyone also seemed to notice.

"Uh…Good morning Temari-san!" "Lady Temari, don't you look….rested?" "Miss, how about some coffee?…"

Waving them off with a half opened eyes, red pupils and some yawns thrown in, she managed to make it to the meeting without choking someone. It was a surprise indeed. She thought she would have everything under control until she walked in to see that wretch sitting at the head of the crescent shaped table.

"Nice of you to join us Lady Temari." The curl of her smile made Temari's blood bubble.

_Bitch. _

"Good morning." Straightening herself up, she felt the woman's burning eyes follow her to her seat at the end.

"Now that we are all here, Lady Temari will give us a full report on the leaf village."

Temari suddenly stood straight up at this surprised presentation. She was not supposed to give her briefing until next week when Gaara's schedule was clear. Being the Kazekage, all matters involving foreign affairs were under his watchful eye, especially anything concerning the leaf village. "I am not to give a report until next week in the _presence_ of the Kazekage."

The woman chuckled behind her cream sensu fan. "I am guessing all that training has made you a little forgetful, Lady Temari. A memo was sent out yesterday that you would give us an overview of your information so our official meeting would be a lot smoother and with less questions."

She was purposely trying to put Temari on the spot and royally embarrass her. Temari swore that she would pay for this later but seeing as how everyone gathered for that main purpose, she had no choice but to organize her information. Being half asleep and unprepared definitely set her back a few paces but she would wing it as best as she could.

"After spending a month in the Hidden Leaf Village, I have nothing suspicious to report. All business affairs are being carried out at their usual pace, diplomatic relations and agreements are still being upheld and I foresee no oncoming threat to the Sand Village. The city is for the most part completely rebuilt and Naruto Uzumaki is set to take the title as Hokage at the end of the year."

"How is the young Junchiriki? Is he capable of taking on such a role?" One of the male councilman looked quite weary of the thought.

Temari was a bit insulted that he would think so lowly of Naruto. "I believe he is more than capable and will be just as good of a Hokage as Gaara is as a Kazekage."

"I hope you are not skimming things over because of your relation with him or the Hidden Leaf Village." Lady Rie was fanning herself casually.

"My duty lies with the Sand Village no matter my connection with the Hidden Leaf so that idea can be put the rest." Glaring at her, she had hoped her answer would quiet the rusty old woman.

"Well, it seems like things are going rather well then. Your abilities as a liaison have happily surprised me. Our Temari has been quite a big help to us you know." With a smile, she connected with all of the other councilmembers as they nodded in agreement. "Don't you all think it's time she started to focus on her own life? We have given her such a great responsibility that she can barely focus on being young woman."

_This fucking witch….what is she up to?_

"I agree! Why don't you take a break Lady Temari? You can get some rest, go out….maybe find a nice young Sand Village man." Temari knew that the other members were merely being manipulated by that evil geezer who was probably enjoying this far too much but she had to stand up for herself.

"My personal life is fine and it is no business of anyone to worry about it. My duty should be your sole concern."

"She is right everyone. Let us all just continue with the meeting. Our apologies Lady Temari." Giving her that fake smile, Temari gazed upon her with even more fury as she sat back in her seat. The meeting continued on as usually, speaking about upcoming ceremonies, overviews of the other liaison's time in their respected cities, etc. Temari was on the brink of collapsing by the time everyone was dismissed and as soon as the go-ahead was given, she was the first one to grab her things and fly out. She did not make it far without catching a few conversations from the others that were behind her.

"Temari is of marriageable age you know?" One man said.

_Marriageable age?_

"She is. The Kazekage should take more interest in finding a suitable man for her so she could settle down…" The woman chimed in

_Settle down…_

"We should discuss this with Lord Gaara because it is clear that Lady Temari will need some coaxing…"

_Coaxing?!_

In a blind fury, she burst through the doors of the Kazekage building and went straight to her apartment.

"What the hell do they mean marriageable age?! I'm not getting married because those old fools think it's time! I don't even _want_ to get married! They'll probably set me up with some bozo who expects me to put down my tessen for a baking pan and a pregnancy test….ugh! The only thing I know how to bake is boxed cake! Gemme breakfast through dinner and I'm fine. I can make a itememono pretty well…" Temari's rant quickly turned into a conversation with herself as she paced back and forth in her apartment until she heard a knock at her door.

"Who the hell is that?" Walking to her door, still mumbling nonsense, she took a deep breath to prepare for it being Lady Rie or one of those meddling councilmembers but the person on the other side nearly knocked her onto her feet.

"You need to choose a better place to live." Looking rather weary, with his eyes half open as usually, Temari was face to face with the person she was never expecting to see but slightly glad she did.

"What are you doing here?"

"The higher-ups sent me on an escort mission for some top secret old guy. They said he creates really valuable things for high class people so he's on the bandit hit list and the number of people after him is pretty significant."

"Oh." Temari was still in shock and really wasn't paying too much attention to his story. They both looked at each other in silence as he leaned against the doorframe. It suddenly hit her at how rude she was being by making him stand out there and how easily someone could be watching them. Poking her head out the door for a quick look, she pulled him inside and locked the door.

"What's with the secrecy?"

"What secrecy? Everything's fine. Please…sit…" She walked him over to her large and rather expensive maroon sofa that was handcrafted by a cloud village crafter. Everyone knows that the best furniture comes from there. Shikamaru sank comfortably in his seat.

"Nice couch."

"Thanks. So….is this is your first time here?"

"Yea."

"Well what do you think?"

"To be honest?..." She found herself honestly wanting to know his opinion. "I don't like it."

"What?!"

"The air is dry. It's making my eyes water. The accents of some of the villagers are hard to understand. I asked this guy for directions to your house-"

"You did what?! Don't tell anyone else that you're here!"

"Um…ok. Well I asked him directions to your house and, I shit you not, I thought he gave me the recipe for watermelon punch." Temari tried to hide it at first but she couldn't suffocate the chuckle that came about at the thought of Shikamaru interacting with a toothless market goer who probably tried his best. "I'm glad you found it amusing. The clothing is also odd. How do you breathe in that thick fabric?"

"It's meant to keep the sand out. You don't know how uncomfortable it is to have sand in areas where it shouldn't be…"

"I never had any bodily sand storms from you…" As he twirled his Kunai his outstretched sand, he smirked to himself and Temari quickly changed the subject.

"You seem to be surviving fine though."

"Yea I'm hanging in there. I wouldn't mind being home already…"

"The Lead Village is nice."

He stopped spinning his knife. "Would you ever live there?"

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing."

"Shikamaru…"

"Forget it…"

"Shikamaru…."

"So, nice place…"

Temari agreed internally to spare him this time. "Thanks….I like classic things…" She sat back in her wooden chair that was curshioned with the same type as the one on the couch.

"I never pictured you as having an elegant side…"

"Why?"

"It's too….feminine…"

Temari narrowed her eyes at that comment. "What do you mean by that?"

"Fuck me- nothing Temari. Nevermind. You're really touchy today. You didn't sleep did you…"

"As a matter of fact!...I didn't…"

"You always get bitchy when you don't sleep."

"_Bitchy_?...excuse me you lazy ass!" Her nerves were on edge and his insults weren't making it better.

"Come." He motioned with his head at the stop next to him on the couch.

"I'm not sitting next to you, you insulting little snake."

Shikamaru made the motion of a knife stabbing into his heart before laughing.

"This is not funny!" Temari was trying her best to fight the urge. He was not going to get at her that easily and as long as she still had energy, she would stand her ground.

"I know you're tired Temari…"

Getting up from her seat, she decided it was best to leave the room to cool off and to get some distance in between them before she let her emotions get the best of her. She walked past the couch with Shikamaru and almost made it into her bedroom before she felt something grab her wrist. "Shikamaru let me go!" Not listening to a word she said, he yanked her arm and caused her to fall over the arm of the chair and land on her back with her head resting in his lap. "Shikamaru!…"

"Just shut up and take a nap. I'm tired of your attitude." Kicking his feet up on her one of a kind prism glass table, she gasped and was about to sit up before he pushed her back down. "Sleep."

It made no sense to fight him because her parasympathetic nervous system began to take over and this was the first time her head as hit anything since the wee hours of the morning. As she looked out of her sliding glass window at the sunlight getting brighter and brighter, it forced her to close her eyes from it's blinding rage. That was all it took to get her to slowly begin to sleep under. Giving in to a last yawn she managed to stumble out something before sleep completely took her. "You win…this time…" He had only been there for 10 minutes or so and he already had a hold on her she didn't like. Out of his mouth she could have sworn she heard him laugh while he positioned his body to be more comfortable. She sensed that he was probably going to take a doze as well and so together, with his arms outstretched on the couch and her head laying comfortably on his legs, they both enjoyed a quiet period where the world outside couldn't bother them. Maybe, on a day like today, she could feed into her addiction this one last time.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: An outsider's opinion**

Over the past few days, she had spent her free time escorting Shikamaru around the city. Besides his casual complaints of the accents and why the sun seemed to "hate the hell" out of this place, their time together was rather freeing. They were careful not to be seen as having anything but a professional relationship and things seemed pretty normal between them (although there was a random night of carnal relations) so no one had any inkling that anything besides orders were involved. That day, Temari had off from her usual duties so she decided to take him to the center of town so he could witness the vitality of her beloved village.

"Walking in this city is such a drag….I feel like everything is so far apart." Shikamaru placed one hand lazily behind his head.

"Our city is bigger than yours for now so of course you would walk more."

_Whiner…_

"I guess." They strolled past a row of jewelers selling authentic and knockoff accessories. Unless you had a good eye, you would've never been able to tell the difference and many people were falling into the trap. One of them recognized Temari from doing business with her a few months back.

"Temari-san!" The elderly man called out to her. "I have a new shipment of earrings you might like!"

Shikmaru looked rather surprised that a girl like Temari would secretly find pleasure in things such as fine jewelry. "Since when?"

"Since when what?"

"Since when do you like that stuff?"

"There is a lot about myself that I keep private. I may be a kunoichi but that doesn't mean I can't dress for something other than battle. Mizaki-san! Thanks for heads up! I'll come by later on to see what you've got."

"Aw! Why don't you come look now?"

"I don't have enough on me right now."

"Well, why not have the young gentleman buy something for you?" The man winked and Shikamaru who gave him a startled look.

Temari smiled as she quickly doused the idea. "I am just his escort while he is in a village. I would never be so rude as to ask something of that nature to a guest."

"Ah I see! My apologies sir. Well until then Temari-san!"

They both waved their parting as she continued down the street with Shikamaru in relief. "I don't understand why you girls spend so much money on that stuff. You look fine the way you are…"

"Well a girl's gotta look better than fine sometimes."

"Sounds like something my mother would say."

"A woman after my own heart."

"That's exactly what I fear."

Just as she thought her day was going to end as well as it started, she found herself crossing paths with her worst nightmare.

_I've been running into her way more often than I'd like…_

"Well hello Lady Temari. Taking a gander at accessories that might spruce up your appearance?" The woman had her usually cream fan cooling herself down from the heat.

"What business is it to you?" Temari folded her arms stiffly.

"I'm just asking. No need to get so touchy. Who is this young shinobi?" Lady Rie scanned his person for identification and found his Leaf Village steel band on his arm. The look on Shikamaru's face screamed his slight annoyance with this woman. "A Leaf Shinobi? Temari, as a young woman you shouldn't be seen so closely to another man in public and especially one from another village."

"Just to get you off my back I'll tell you that I am his escort while he is visiting the village and I feel your accusations are extremely uncalled for in the presence of a foreigner."

"I am most sorry young man." Lady Rie bowed but Temari could see from that mischievous flicker in her eyes that there was a chance that the dark wheel in her head was turning. "I was just looking out for the young lady's reputation. She is at that time where men will be coming to her with marriage proposals."

"Uh…yea…." Shikamaru looked as though he was trying to pretend to care what she was talking about.

"Well I best be going now. I have a meeting with the Kazekage on my agenda today and I should not be late. I _always _stick to my agenda you know." Giving them both a grin that made Temari's skin crawl, Lady Rie turned away with a flash of her dull mahogany hair and disappeared in the crowd of people.

Shikamaru had one word about his encounter with her. "Bitch."

"You took the words right out of my mouth." They began walking again and Temari decided that it was best she walked a little farther apart from Shikamaru for rumor's sake.

"So….they're trying to marry you off."

"No one is trying to do anything. _She's _just trying to sabotage and control me. I had no plans of every getting married and I still don't."

"You never want to get married?" She found it rather odd that Shikamaru would question her decision.

"No….Marriage and even relationships to me make me think of giving up who I am to live under the control of someone else…"

"You were never one to control…Although I did manage to do it a few times." Temari got his hint of her public embarrassment at the chunin exams. To this day, she wants a re-matach to prove that she doesn't go down that easily.

"Count those as luck. Hmpf."

"I think they'll be successful in marrying you off…"

"What? No and how dare you doubt my resolve like that Shikamaru."

"I'm telling the truth. There are a few ways that she will use to bring you to her terms…"

"Oh really? Please tell me smartass."

"They'll use Gaara for one thing. I'm pretty sure that's the topic of her meeting with Gaara."

Temari stopped dead in her tracks. She couldn't put it past her that the witch would stoop so low as to threaten or use her brother to try and cart her off. It made her heart rate soar at the fact that she never considered it.

_How dare she…._

"I give you until the end of next year, maybe sooner depending on how quickly she decides to work."

With that last sentence, Temari made a firm resolve to bring this whole marriage talk to an end that day. There was no way she was going to but her ring finger or her uterus in the hands of that hag who she felt had an hidden motive to this whole shebang.

"Where are we going?" Shikamaru still lagged behind when Temari made a sharp left to a shortcut through some buildings.

"To Gaara."

Her feet must have had wings because it took her 1/4th the time to get there than it usually did from that existence. At one point she completely lost Shikamaru in the crowd of people but to her surprise she met him standing right in front of the office.

"This place is too confusing…"

She didn't have time to comment but merely stomped all the way up the stone stairs and into the building.

"M'Lady! You can't get in there! Lord Kazekage is in the middle of a private meet-" Shoving the guard Shinobi aside, she burst through the double doors to see Lady Rie slithering around Gaara like a hidden serpent. Gaara on the other hand looked neither threatened nor worried. It would take a lot more than an elder to make in feel even an ounce of fear. He did though; sense the anger that was seeping from between her clenched teeth.

"This is it! What the hell are you up to you witch?!"

"Well Lady Temari that is no way to address an elder of the Hidden Sand Village. Lord Gaara you simply must teach her some manners."

"Shut u-"

"She's right…" Gaara was actually serious. Temari was bewildered that he would side with anything she said.

"Gaara you've got to be kidding me!"

"That is no way to talk to the Kazekage either, even if he is your brother!"

The straw that broke the camel's back was an understatement because Temari was past that point. Reaching behind her back, she was about to reach for her tessen to show this lady who _she _was talking to but the moment her hand connected with her fan, she felt something else land on top of it. Shikamaru had placed his hand over her own in a silent protest of her actions. She would later admit that he saved her from probably causing more problems than what she already had.

"Lady Rie, although you are older than my sister and I, it does not mean you should lack respect when speaking to her. Respect does not come with title or age but should be given freely to all who honestly deserve it."

"My….apologies Lord Kazekage…." Lady Rie fluttered her fan as she came back to sit on her chair in front of Gaara's desk.

"Now…Temari…what can I do for you?" Gaara managed to stay completely composed in all of this ruffling of feathers.

"I'd like to know what's going on here…" Temari's drove her sharp gaze at Lady Rie who gave the most innocent smile.

"Lord Kazekage and I were just discussing your future. That's all."

"If that was the purpose of this meeting, then my sister should be here as well." Temari's scowl turned into a smile at how Gaara easily worked her into the equation.

"Of course! Of course! Well as I was beginning to say, your sister has grown up to be a fine young woman with many merits, but Lord Kazekage don't you think it's time she put these rigorous duties aside in pursuit of something for fruitful?"

"If you mean to say it is time for her marriage, I hardly believe it is up to any of us to decide. My sister has always been an independent thinker and when she is ready, she will choose what is best for her."

"Thank you Gaara." Temari stood a little more proudly as she watched the woman's haughtiness turn to slightly bitter.

"But my Lord-"

"The case is closed. Any further discussion of the matter should be between you and my sister. I have many other important things to worry about. You are dismissed Lady Rie."

In a huff, she scooped herself up and headed for the door but not without biting at Temari with her devilish brown eyes. It was a warning Temari quickly met with her own threats. Shikamaru stayed silent throughout the entire ordeal yet his hand never left hers that was behind her back. She had completely forgotten about it until now.

"I guess you don't need any more restraining." He quickly released it.

"I think I'll be ok thanks to Gaar-"

"Temari."

"Yes?"

"I think it is best you go back to the Hidden Leaf."

"What? Why? I just got here!"

"If I know Lady Rie, I know that once she has set her mind on something she will not relinquish. For the sake of causing a bigger problem I believe it is in our best interest to keep you busy so that she will not have time to prey on you and watch you."

"But Gaar-"

"He's right Temari. The longer you're here, the more chances you give her to pull you into her plot." Temari grew annoyed that Shikamaru was siding with Gaara.

"Hey butt out! This is a Sand Village issue." Shikamaru merely shrugged and stepped back. "Gaara we can't give into her and play the sheep in this!"

"But we do not have the teeth of wolves to bit back yet. Temari I understand your views on marriage, which is why I will do my best to make sure the decision stays in your hands but you must stop trying to do this on your own. You will not win."

"This is ridiculous!"

"Temari….I know I never showed you anything worth trusting-"

"You know that's not true Gaara"

"But just this once will you let me try and fight this battle for you?" Temari looked into her brother's eyes and knew that he was pulling himself together for her sake even with everything else going on around him. She didn't want to not let him do this but at the same time she feared he would be overtaken. Having very little options though, she decided after a long internal battle to heed to her brother's will.

"Alright…."

"Thank you. You will leave tomorrow with Shikamaru."

Looking back at an indifferent mask on Shikamaru's face, she really began to regret agreeing with Gaara. His plans would drive her right back to that same guy she was trying to leave in the Konoha. It seemed like no matter how far she got away from him, she'd always turn the corner to see him standing there.

…..

"Is everyone here?" The head jounin of the mission stood at the front of a carriage pulled by two horses. The entire thing was covered in a thick blue cloth meant to hide the identity of the man inside. There were two Jounin on either side, two in the front with Shikamaru, Temari and a third jounin on the rear. Shikamaru was strategically placed there because his Shadow jutsu had a 360 degree range which meant he could cover not only behind them but could stretch all the way to the front. They had been walking through the desert for about an hour already with everyone on full alert.

"Just when I thought I could finally rest…" Temari looked back for a moment to see the horizon a barren wasteland.

"Stop your sulking." He was one to talk.

"Says the guy who has a complaint for every drop of water there is in the Rain Village."

"Are you on your period?" Now she wanted to punch him square in the jaw but being the bigger person was a better decision and so she remained quiet. "You'll be back home soon enough so for now just stop whining….it's such a drag…" Temari turned her gaze elsewhere to keep from boiling over and he quickly changed the subject. "This guy must be suffocating in there. The fabric weighs a ton."

"He must really be serious about not being seen…" Just then, a wrinkly old hand jutted from between the part in the back of the carriage. "What the hell?" An index finger stuck out and began to scan between the three of them and stopped in Temari's direction. "You want me?" The hand turned into a thumbs up and before she could protest, it reached down and pulled her into the carriage. Shikamaru tried to go in after her but was quickly bonked on the head with a wooden sensu fan before his face broke through the cloth barrier. He must have not deemed this whole ordeal as a threat anymore because he remained quiet outside rubbing his sore skull.

"Who are you and why did you do that?!" Temari could barely see past the thick fog inside of the carriage as she landed on a soft silk mat. Coughing and fanning the air, she found it to be nothing more and apple scented pipe tobacco smoke. "I asked a question!"

"Hello!" The head of elderly man with a strained voice and a toothless smile popped out from the fog. His eyes were wide with very small blue pupils and the top his head was bald with the exception of a white ponytail the barely touched his robed shoulder. "It's been so long Temari-san!"

"Wait…how do you know me?! Who are you?"

"I see you have forgotten about me. I am deeply hurt!" Inhaling a hit from his pipe, he pouted his wrinkly lips.

"How can I forget someone I've never met?" Temari was done playing games.

"You need to think back to your past and your connection with a certain accessory of yours."

"Hm….nope…I got nothing."

The man drew down his sagging face with his hand in bafflement. " They say you are smart beyond your years but I still see you're missing a few screws."

"What?!"

"Calm down! I am merely saying to think back to when you first got the extension of your hand…"

"The extensions of my hand…." Debunking this metaphor piece by piece was done in a matter of seconds before it hit her who he was. "Master Tensen?"

"Ha! You're not an idiot woman after all!" His soundless turned wheezing laugh put her on edge that he was going to get out of breath and kick the bucket right in front of her. "Yes. I am Master Tensen. The creator of your Tessen and that pretty little fan you have in your knapsack."

She had completely forgotten about Matsuri, Yukata and Sari's incessant banter about how valuable that thing was. "So you're the guy they were yelling about…."

"Who was yelling? I have a bad left ear so they'd have to yell in my right."

Facepalm.

_I can already tell that I don't have the patience for this. _

"My friends were going on and on and telling me how expensive your fans are because they are one of a kind."

"Oh! Oh yes! My fans have fans! HA!" Suddenly he burst into laughter.

"I need to get out of here…"

"But anyway, I remember the commission I got for that little one."

"Commission?" Temari was unsure how to make of this new fact.

"Yep! It cost 4 years jounin wages! Plus a half of year for rushed delivery. I don't usually do it so cheap but since the young lad was escorting me I figured I'd do some charity work. Working so quick took the _wind _right out of me! HA!" Once again, he began his fit of laughter.

"4 years?..." Temari thought of how much money that was and realized Shikamaru must have basically emptied his savings for this. Instantly, she grabbed it from her bag and handed it back to Master Tensen with a deep bow. "Please take this back Master Tensen and give the shinobi back his money."

"Hm. Are you sure? He seemed pretty confident that this was what he wanted and pretty indifferent towards the cost. I figured he was from a rich family or something."

"I can't get too deep into it but I think he used his entire savings and…look I really don't want anything that expensive from him." Temari gave him a pleading look.

"Well I've never experienced this before….someone doesn't want one of my fans. Are you sure? He thought very hard about this fan…"

Shikamru thinking hard? The only time she'd seen his brain run at top speed was during the war. It was pretty remarkable to watch and probably once in a lifetime. "He did?"

"Well yea!" Master Tensen snatched the fan out of her hand and swung it open. "He told me the woman who this was intended for was very profound with a calming mystery. That's why there is this forest here. He also said that at the same time she could be very open and bright if the darkness overtook. I drew the moon especially large and with very bright violet color. He said he wasn't very artistic and thinking of all this was such a drape-"

"You mean drag."

"No I am pretty sure it's drape. My mind is as sharp as that kamaitachi technique of yours! HA!" At it began again. "I slay myself!" This time he was practically in tears.

Temari couldn't help but look at the fan with a new appreciation for it. It seemed as though Shikamaru had really sat down with this one, but for what reason was something she could never understand. Suddenly, a wave of weight rested upon her shoulders that maybe they were getting too deep into each other. If he was willing to purchase such a high class item then maybe he was confused as to what she thought they actually were. Just friends.

"I thought he was making this for his woman you know. I pictured her to be calm, composed and one hell of a lady but then I found out it was you and nothing made sense." He scratched his head on confusion.

"Hey!"

"When I asked him he said you were far from being his woman. Just an old friend he decided to show some appreciation for and then said something about how birthdays are such a drape-

"Drag-whatever!" What he said was a relief.

"That lazy bastard was trying to play it cool and I think you're a buffoon for dumbing things down as well!" Clocking her on the head with his fan was something she painfully didn't expect.

"Ow! Watch it!"

Master Tensen regained his composure. "So why are you leaving the Sand Village with this kid? Did you get kicked out of the house for being naughty? You were always a feisty thing when I would come to adjust your Tessen. You kicked me in the shin one time."

"Ah….It's all coming back to me…" He must have not remembered that he called her pigtails stunted firecrackers. "I am going back for some work." It was all she felt like telling him.

"So you're not going back for that young Shinobi? You're crazy! He's hot!"

"No I am not." Rolling her eyes. "I don't follow after guys."

"Good girl! You shouldn't! You should go after men! You're old enough to get married now so I'm sure if you haven't scared away all the suitors, you'll find a good husband."

"Pft. I have no intention of finding a husband."

"What?! What's wrong with women these days?"

"Nothing!"

"Then maybe it's just you! HA!"

"Quiet!"

"Well anyway, Temari-san I admire your fiery will, known intellect and your beastly strength but you know…you don't have to give that up for a man." It was a common pairing to put love and relationships with weakness. It was her mother's love for her father that she blamed for her untimely death. Why would she desire something that could cripple a person who was as strong as her mother? She would rather live, fight and die alone before letting someone else hold her heart in their dirty hands. "It may take time but I believe you will learn that you will find someone who won't ask for you to give up what makes you…you, but will compliment you and support you and vice versa."

"I doubt that…"

"Or you'll just live as an old hag with cats like my sister! HA!" While Master Tensen was at his corny jokes again, Temari really got to wondering about living her life alone. She had always thought she would be fine but she never factored in that she believed it to be so until she started to age. Loneliness would overtake her when she saw her brothers have families and leave a legacy while she disappeared in the dust with not so much as a lasting footprint. Shaking her head, she made it clear that she would not give herself away for future gain or for the sake of having someone around. That would only be settling for less than she deserves and doing what everyone else thought was right for her instead of what she thought was right for her.

"Maybe I'm just not meant for a connection…."

No man had ever satisfied her that much to cause her to reconsider her views. No man understood her enough to respect her wishes either, well no one except-

"Shikamaru!"

There was suddenly the voice of a panicked shinobi on the left side of the carriage. "Someone is coming from the rear and fast!"


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: Battle Ready**

She didn't have much time to think before peering out through the cloak and spotting two kunai with paper bombs coming straight for the other jounins. Shikamaru had already dodged the first two and she had a split second to leap out of the carriage right in front of the another shinobi to deflect the weapons.

"First Star!" She sent saw them flying back where they promptly exploded a few feet away. This ordeal caused a lot of sand to be picked up and cloud the air around them, making it extremely hard to see who threw them or where the attack came from.

"What the devil is going on?" Master Tensen stuck his bony neck out the carriage.

"Stay inside!"

"I may have one foot in the grave but I can use the other one to kick with! HA!"

"Now's not the time! First Star!" Temari let out another gust to reflect two more coming from above their heads. "You're too old to go fightin-"

"Ninja art! Sensu Shield!" A sudden barrage of open fans came bursting from the cloth where Master Tensen was. She followed the jutsu above her head to a rain of more kunai knives that she never saw coming. The open fans acted as individual shields that met the weapons in the air, blocking the explosion before they disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"Master Tensen?"

"This old geezer was a jounin back in my hay day but let's keep that a secret eh?" He winked before pulling himself back behind his curtain. Ahead was the beginning of a forested area so the group quickly ran straight for the cover in hopes they could lose the attackers. If confrontation could be avoided, it would save a lot of time and a lot of chakra.

_That old man just saved my ass!_

They made it to the forest but not without her remembering that she didn't see a certain spike haired shinobi following. "Wait…Shikamaru?!" Looking to her left, Shikamaru and the sensory jounin from the rear were by the bushes trying to capture the attackers. Abruptly the two turned on their heels and began running for the carriage.

"Temari get down!" Running straight for her, he grabbed her by her shoulder and threw her on the other side of the carriage just as another large explosion went off.

"Just when I thought I'd make it back without shit going wrong!" Pieces of trees and rocks began raining down.

"This is all a diversion meant to scatter and confuse us. These's guys are so basic it's almost hard to take this whole thing seriously."

"There's three of them. One large one." The sensory ninja was trying to scout out their chakra while the other Shinobi were busy warding off paper bombs flying from all directions.

"Which way are they coming from?" Shikamaru's eyes darted in either direction.

"They're here!" The other jounin pointed at the bushes in front of them just into to see three figures appear behind the smoke of the detonated bombs.

"Aito….it looks as though they're not falling for our little game." As the smoke cleared, they say that the slithering voice came from a tall, slender man with long spiked hair that looked like it was dipped in blood. He wore a black fitted jumpsuit with a steel ninja band of an etched out Sound Village symbol right over his chest and two holsters full of paper bomb kunai crossed over his torso. With eyes as black as his attire, he peered down at the three with disgust.

"So this is the bomber…." His looked gave Temari the creeps.

"Yes Amon….Looks like the leaf has stepped up even more after the war Arata…" The man on the other side of the larger one had a scraggly brown beard to match his matted dreads. He wore nothing but a cloak and a long loin cloth made of animal skin. His nails were noticeably long and pointed at the end like claws of a wild beast. With pupils a sunrise orange, his gaze was more crazed an uncontrolled than the other. His ninja band was worn as a belt across his hip with the same jagged mark across the village symbol.

"I thought the Sound village was gone for good." Temari looked extremely confused as to how any shinobi could be left from that desolate wasteland. All of the inhabitants had moved on during the war and the place was nothing short of a ghost town.

"I guess some guys decided to stick around…" Shikamaru stood up.

"It's nothing we can't hand!" The man he called Arata in the middle was unearthly large with a stomach that probably spanned the length of her Tessen. She was surprised he chose to wear a netted shirt because it looked like his fat was ready to seep out of the holes. At least his black pants kept his bottom half in check and his plate was sewn onto one of the legs. Though the other two had a lot of hair, they clearly must have stolen it all from him. Temari thought he looked quite ridiculous.

"Look let's skip the introductions because I don't have time for this! Third Star!" Temari rose up and quickly used her strength to let out a strong current with the brunt of the force heading straight for them.

"Not this time!" The large one pulled something from behind his back that he was carrying and slammed it into the ground in front of the bandits. It probably was the largest mirror she had ever seen with the round frame made of complete white porcelain.

_What the hell is this?…._

The next thing she saw was a gust of wind emerging from the mirror and heading straight for her own. The two forces came together in such a powerful array that everyone had to shield themselves quickly before it dissipated.

"What?...That wind matched my jutsu…" Temari's eyes were wide open.

"That's because that other wind _was_ your jutsu…" Shikamaru stated matter-of-factly. "It's clear that this mirror is able to counter attacks with the exact same attack and basically neutralize it….a very powerful defense…."

The other jounin must have not realized it because one that was positioned on top of the carriage decided to attack. "Fire Style! Fist of flames jutsu!"

"Get him out of the carriage!" No one else understood why Shikamaru was so concerned besides Temari so she quickly leapt in and grabbed Master Tensen, basically dragging him out right before a bombardment of fire balls came soaring back. Luckily, everyone else got out of the way.

"Stay behind me." Temari stood in front of him with her fan open.

"My pipe!" Master Tensen watched in horror as his belongs burned to the ground. "That's a one of a kind pipe!"

"Maybe it's a sign to give up smoking." Temari didn't understand his connection to that thing at all. It just looked like a normal pipe.

"Never!" Master Tensen really was distraught.

"Ha! As you all can see, your attacks are useless because they will only be matched with the same attack!" Arata looked extremely pleased with himself.

"Now give us Master Tensen!" The one with the paper bombs got his kunai ready between his knuckles.

"Nice try….but you're not taking him that easily…" From the narrowed look at Shikamaru's face, she could tell that while he was still engaged, his mind was running like a well-oiled machine. Nobody realized it yet but as he was distracting them in conversation and trying to keep their eyes focused on him, a small sliver of a shadow was creeping around the burning pieces and broken trees from the explosion and right up the side of the ground. Temari reasoned that he was probably testing out the reflexes of the bandits and the scope of the mirror.

_Hm…_

To her dismay, the trio spotted it and quickly pointed the mirror at the shadow and another shadow came seeping out. Shikamaru saw it and quickly retracted his shadow while the other copied the same movement.

_It looks like it mirrors the jutsu even if it doesn't follow through…_

"You think a simple trick like that would get us?" Aito looked almost blood thirsty. "Let me have this one please brothers!"

"No! We get Master Tensen first and _then _you can have him." The fat one held one hand in front of Aito.

"I want the girl…" The disturbing looking one gave her a blood curdling smile but she stood her ground firmly.

"I'm not one to take kindly to creeps." Temari gripped her fan tighter.

"You don't want her anyway! She's too moody!" Master Tensen called out from behind her.

"Quiet!" She bit back at him and he cowered away.

This whole time, Shikamaru's mind was still going and probably at light speed, with calculations, plots, schemes, diagrams, however she figured he came up with stuff.

"Shikamaru what are you doing just standing there?!" The head jounin barked from further back.

"Look…I can't concentrate with all of you yelling at me so if you could just be quiet, that would be helpful…."

"That brat…" The man huffed.

_We don't have much time before they make their attack-_

It was a little to late to say that because out of nowhere the wild one came running straight at her, claws extended teeth gnashing and so fast that she could barely keep up.

"Temari!' She heard Shikamaru yell right when he leaped into the air. The old Temari would have been in a panic because she was no good at hand to hand combat but this was not the old Temari. With a smirk, she closed her fan and readied her body for impact. Timing it just right, she used the steel part of her Tessen to ward off the claws that came down like hammer. Thus, their battle began. She'd upper cut, he'd dodged. He'd claw, she'd block. She spun low to trip him, he jumped. This pattern of synchronized motions was something she had been practicing since the war ended and she realized just how valuable being a well-rounded kunoichi was. It was important to have your specialty but when push came to shove and that couldn't save you, there needed to be other tools in your arson.

"Knock em dead Temari!" Her personal geriatric cheerleader was edging her on from behind the bush which was just the encouragement she needed to give him one final blow. When she spun on her heels behind him and she gave him one good bat that sent him flying back to the rest of the bandits. Breathing heavily and wiping some of the blood from her lip and face where he made contact, she felt quite proud of herself. Glancing to the left, her eyes met with Shikamaru and he gave her a pleased smirk.

"I may be a woman but I fight just as well as any man." While she was in her little tussle, the other shinobi were giving it everything they had but it was no use. The mirror was just too good at fending off the attacks. "Shikamaru, now would be a nice time to do something!"

His eyes instantly widened. "I got it…Temari."

"Yea whats up?"

"What is the best way to break a mirror if you can't hit it dead on?" It was clearly meant to be something to jog her intellect and not so much ask her for a response.

_Well…well…well…._

The answer was as clear as day and with a nod she signaled to him that she understood.

"Everyone…..scatter and attack!" Shikamaru's orders went with some question.

"But they want us to scatter!" The head jounin protested from the back.

"Just do as I say and you'll see what I mean." Just as he told them, the bandit brothers went back to back, ready for offense.

"Ha! This will be your doom. We are perfectly capable of defending ourselves on our own. We are skilled shinobi you know?" The creeper stood in the ready.

Shikamaru completely ignored them. "Temari I need you to go in right when I tell you or this won't work."

"Got it. Master Tensen you're going to have to defend yourself for a moment."

"Don't worry! This firecracker still got some spark left! HA!"

"Ready….everyone go!" The group of shinobi leaped into the air in random directions, releasing their jutsu at the group huddled in the center. At first it didn't seem like anything would come of it because if the mirror didn't neutralize it, then the other two simple countered it. Shikamaru though, was lying in wait for that single moment and he got it right as a fireball managed to penetrate the center of the bandits. Throwing all three of them in different directions, he was able to capture the large one in his Shadow Imitation Technique from behind while he was temporarily disoriented.

"Temari now!" Since the man was so large, Shikamaru's shadow wouldn't hold him long but he quickly made the man release the mirror into the air. She had exactly one shot before it would land and one of the other brothers would catch it so she had to do it right the first time. Swinging her tessen behind her like a bat, she found the middle of the mirror where it was held by the frame. How Shikamaru theorized the mirror was placed was that it was held to the frame at specific points which would be very sensitive to impact. Finding the random places would be hard but the middle was almost a sure fire area to get at least one. Hitting this exact spot would allow the mirror to break without coming straight at it from the front.

Pinpointing this very location, she swung as hard as she could like a hammer, praying that his idea would work. Upon the forceful impact, she heard a large crack that echoed through wooded area. This was followed by a rain of sparkling glass that littered the sky.

_It worked!_

She was in amazed for a moment before she realized who made this whole plan in the first place.

_That sloth has done it again…_

Looking around her, she spotted the bandits suddenly freeze and she made out small cracks forming on their body.

"She broke the mirror!" Aito screamed in horror as he watched the cracks slowly travel up his legs. The rest of the shinobi looked on in wonder as the men began to break apart like the shattered mirror. Within seconds, there was a loud crash and the bodies of the men shattered into a million glass shards right in front of their eyes. Temari herself was taken aback by the unusual death but Shikamaru was quick to explain.

"The mirror was infused with their chakra which bound them to it by a lifeline. If you managed destroyed the mirror…" He was interrupted by the scream of the larger one finally vanishing. "they would also be destroyed. The weapon was clever but in the hands of basic shinobi, it could never be any more than troublesome…"

"Interesting…"

Landing next to Master Tensen, he ran out of the bushes. "You guys didn't do _so_ bad…"

"Didn't do _so_ bad?" With her free hand on her hip, she glared down at the hunched over elder.

"What? You want a cookie or something?" He gave her a sheepish smile.

"Let's hury keep moving everyone! We need to make it to the nearest village before night fall before we run into more guys like these!" The head jounin's orders reminded them that time was of the essence because the later it got, the more of the troublemakers they would encounter. Just because they won this battle, didn't guarantee they would make it through the others.

"He's right…" Shikamaru began to walk towards the formation.

Master Tensen went into the middle of the group while everyone else assumed their previous position as if they were surrounding the carriage. The silent walk through the forest commenced and remained that way between them until Temari decided to speak up.

"Hey Shikamaru…"

"Yea?"

"You did well."

"Hm….Thanks I guess." Placing one hand behind his head, she could have sworn she was him blush a little but it was probably a figment of her imagination.

"I hope this means you'll start taking your job a lot more seriously."

"I do take my job seriously….but not serious enough to stress myself out. After that last battle I wouldn't mind a long nap."

"You're such a sloth."

"I see nothing wrong with that. Those animals are probably the happiest."

…

The rest of the trip went by smoothly and Temari heaved a sigh of relief as she passed through the gates of Konoha.

"Back again Temari?" Izumo was leaning against the door outside of the gatekeeper's booth.

"Just move here why don't you!" Kotetsu was suspiciously reading a blank covered book.

"As much as I know you both missed me, I am here again on business." Temari waved off the idea as walked by.

"Sure you are….with a certain indolent genius shinobi." Izumo's comment him and Kotatsu snicker like school children.

"Grow up." Temari stopped in her tracks and gave them both the death stare which made them stand at attention.

"Ah well, enjoy your stay!" Giving her a friendly wave, Izumo wiped a bead of sweat that driped from his brow.

"Have fun with your _business!" _Kotetsu decided to try his hand again but Temari was well prepared.

"Have fun reading that adult magazine you so carelessly hid under that book." She smirked as she watched Kotetsu choke.

"Please don't tell Lady Hokagae!" Kotetsu looked as though he was about to cry as she began to walk off.

"Don't piss me off and I'll think about it. Later boys."

It looked as though the group already left her to escort Master Tensen to his house in the village. This left her to mosey her way back to her apartment alone and back to that ridiculously stiff bed.

"I really need to do something about that." Sighing to herself with dread, she hoped she would enter the village quietly and unnoticed. Upon reaching the street where her apartment was, she grew somewhat happy to see this place again although she was still sore about leaving the Sand Village. The more she spent time in the Hidden Leaf, the more comfortable she got so she figured it could be worse.

_Maybe Hinata was right after all…._

To her surprise, when she turned onto the small path that led to the front door, she saw Shikamaru sitting on the step with his back against the doorway pillar. In between his index and middle finger in his right hand was a freshly lit cigarette and his eyes were casted upward at the floating clouds. Maybe it was in study or maybe he was simply daydreaming about other things he would rather be doing.

_Well this is unexpected…_

Walking up to him, he didn't even seem to notice the sudden her sudden curvy shadow blocking out the mid October sun. "You'll go blind ya know?"

He closed his eyes. "How about now?"

Not only did it block out the shining sun but also the menacing glare she gave him at his smart-ass reply. As she was about to walk into her apartment and "accidentally" kick him on her way up, she heard a familiar and annoying voice call out from the entrance behind them.

"Hey!...I know you!"

"Aw damnit…" Knowing exactly who it was, she turned around and smiled forcefully at the angry looking scholar she slept with a few weeks before. "Are you sure?"

"Yea! You're that girl from the bar who walked out in the middle of our session!"

"Oh yea haha….it's you." Temari had hoped he didn't know who she really was.

"You left me high and dry you bitch!" Narrowing his eyes behind his circular spectacles, she saw a wad of spit come flying out of his mouth. Now, an over emotional man was nothing she hadn't dealt with before but this guy seemed to be a little more out of control than the others.

"Excuse me?" Tilting her head to the side, she walked up to him boldly.

"You heard me!" Grabbing his books securely in one arm, he pushed his glasses further back on his face which caused a glare. "You had the nerve to cut me off!"

"I cut you off because I was finished."

"You can't just do that!" His nasally voice made her want to offer him a tissue or some decongestant. Looking over her shoulder, he noticed Shikamaru lazily soaking up the sun. "And who's that guy? He's probably the one you ditched me for isn't it?!" He was getting too worked up for her comfort.

"I didn't ditch you for anyone." Her patience was wearing thin.

"You're lying! This isn't fair!"

"Life isn't fair. Now…if you'll excuse me, I'll be going about my business now. If I gave you my contact information, lose it because I've already lost yours." When she turned around to walk away, she must have not paid that much attention to see him raise his books above his head to apparently hit her with it. Just as soon as he was about to come down though, she turned around just in time to see him he freeze in mid motion.

"M-My body! What's wrong with my body?!" Following his eyes downward, she saw a long shadow snake along the pathway and back to Shikamaru who was now standing in front of the doorway.

"Shikamaru?..."

As he started to walk, so did the young scholar who would have been shaking in terror if he had control of his muscles. "Stop it! I command you to stop this right now! I am a scholar of the Feudal Lord!" Before he knew it, he was eye to eye with Shikamaru who squinted and slightly tilted his head at the frightened young man.

"You both are annoying but you most of all."

"Wh-Who are you?!"

"My name doesn't matter. I just want you both to shut up. You all sound like children and I'm too tired to deal with even mature adults much less adults who act like kids. Now I'm going to release you and you're gonna get the hell outta my sight. Got it?" Temari watched in astonishment as to how serious Shikamaru got even with a face as dull as a butter knife. The scholar gulped and as soon as the shadow was withdrawn, he took off running with his tail between his legs.

"You'll both regret this!"

Temari gave a small smile at the now slightly irritated shinobi. "Thanks…"

"Yea, yea….I'm leaving." Walking out with his hands behind his head, she watched him disappear out the gate before heading back to her apartment. She only made it a few steps before she started chuckling as she replayed the entire ordeal in her head.

"He's probably internally complaining about how much energy he wasted. That idiot." Turning her key, she went inside of her humble yet comfortable apartment. Everything still smelled like it did before she left, but then again that day was only a week or so ago. Placing her fan and bag down, she stretched and continued her stroll into her bedroom where she saw something that made her raise her eyebrow. Up against the wall next to the window was a single bed with fluffed up mattress in a sturdy, solid wood bedframe. The frame alone looked like it cost a pretty penny seeing as how it was made entirely of wood and varnished with a slight pink undertone with four connecting pillars on each end to hang drapes. At first, she had a lot of questions as to who brought her this new bed when no one else knew she had secretly been fiending for one. That's when a sudden spark hit her and it all began to make sense.

"Yea. He must've used a lot of 'energy'. That lazy idiot." With a grin as wide as she could ever grin, she folded her arms and inspected it with admiration.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Not a chapter to read in public. Take the hint.**

**Chapter 10: The last day of summer**

Temari woke up that morning feel a lot more chipper than usual. As the sun peeked through her dark curtains, she remembered how cool the night in Konoha had become and realized this could very well be the last of the warm days she could enjoy in the village. Rolling over towards her night table, she grabbed her schedule from a small brown book that was hidden inside of the drawer.

"Great. Today I set to catch up on paperwork." The idea gave her a headache as she laid there thinking about the pile that had probably accumulated on her desk. Seeing as how it was only 8:00 am, she tried to calculate how long it might take her to finish so she could have enough time to enjoy the rest of her day. Having personal time was very rare in Konoha and even rarer back in the Sand Village. Being Gaara's secretary was no easy task and her nerves were often shot at the end of a full day. "I guess it's now or never."

Being the type of woman who was not one to simply look over chaos and disorganization, she always made sure her house was absolutely spotless before leaving for the day. Although she seldom had guests, you just never knew when someone would unexpectedly drop by, like Shikamaru when he allowed himself in to set up her bed. Her appearance was also one thing she took pride in, even though it wasn't as "feminine" as the other girls. She could take a while to get dressed but today she was in a rush.

"Alright." She tied her headband around her forehead and pulled it tight. "Let's go."

The sun was definitely giving it all it had that morning, maybe to leave the villagers with something to remember it by. Temari had to take a detour of her normal route to avoid getting baked and it took her a little longer to get to her office. It also took her a little longer because she saw a certain knuckle-headed ninja crotched down in the bushes along the side of the pathway.

"Naruto."

"Ah!" Letting out a scream, he jumped up and hit his head on a branch that was hanging above his head. "Ouch…."

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Grandma Tsunade is trying to get me stay for another one of those _boring_ meetings. I hate meetings!" Stepping out of his hideout, he dusted off his jumpsuit.

"You'd better get over that quick. Being Hokage means you'll be sitting in a large number of those." Since she was strapped for time, she began to walk, with Naruto following behind her.

"How does Gaara handle it all without falling asleep?"

"He realizes that each meeting is important and the information is vital to the Sand Village. Whether the meeting is fun or not is not his main focus." This moment made her feel very proud.

"Wow….Gaara is much more mature than I am." He scratched his head. "Well, I'm not gonna let him surpass me so I guess I'm going to have to suffer through it to be the greatest Hokage! Believe it!" His change of heart and sudden enthusiasm made her smile. He just may be an equal to her brother after all. "So…where's Shikamaru?" He gave her a wink and raised his eyebrows.

"I don't know. If you need to find him, go look around."

"Oh. I just figured he'd be with you. I mean, you _are_ his woma-" She wouldn't even let the word fully come out before she gave him the look of promised death.

"Ughh sorry Temari! Please don't blow me away!"

"You learn quickly."

"You two are really weird. You would think that you both would just fess up already. We all see how lonely you guys are without each other."

"I'm not lonely without Shikamaru."

"It's ok to want to be around somebody you know. I know when I become Hokage, I might really feel left out."

"You are the head of the village so you may not have the time for a significant other or any such type of person." The duo turned the corner to the Jounin Standby Station which was littered with the usual people lounging around and running back and forth. Over in the corner though, they spotted Hinata who was delivering a scroll to Kakashi by the gate.

Naruto suddenly stopped. "I think I'd have the time though…." Glancing over to him, she saw his expression soften and his lips curl into a calming smile. Temari looked back at Hinata and then to Naruto again. It was safe to say that she'd only seen that look between other people and it was never directed at her. The picture made her feel a little warm inside and she sighed to herself, knowing exactly what it was Naruto was probably thinking. "Hey…I'm gonna go. Good luck with whatever you're doing today." He sounded almost mechanical before he made his way across the street. Sneaking up behind Hinata, he nearly scared her half to death and Temari watched in humor as she spun around and smacked him with the other scroll she had in her hand. She probably thought he was some sort of village pervert and when she saw him fall straight on his behind, she instantly regretted it. Watching the pair interact was a very nostalgic experience and it reminded her that at one point she actually believed that such a thing as love was remarkable and doable for everyone. Was it life that changed her or was that just a period of weakness? Choosing not to dwell on it much more, she proceeded through the gate, but not without watching the two walk away with Naruto's hand firmly grasping hers.

_Kids…_

Upon walking into her office, she nearly collapsed on sight. The amount of documents that filled her desk was a lot more than she bargained for and the whole thing made her pinch the bridge of her nose in exhaustion. "This will take all day. I'll have _no_ time to train…"

"That's what you get for taking on more than you can handle…." Leaning against the doorway next to her, he folded his arms with a satisfaction that this wasn't his responsibility.

"It's my job you know? One that I actually take very seriously…"

"Didn't I already tell you? I take my job seriously but I won't do more work than required…unless it's necessary….I can say no. You on the other hand…" Pointing to a stack of scrolls in the corner of the room that she never noticed, he reminded her that what was on her desk was not everything. Not in the slightest.

"Sometimes I wish I was given a speed ability."

"Well you weren't…..but you do have the ability to think."

"Think of what?"

"Of ways to make this easier…" Casually walking around the desk, he sat in her swivel chair and kicked his feet up. Shikamaru grabbed a pile in his lap, he began to sift through the mound of papers. "It looks like you organized these by the type of document…."

"Well yes because some are more important to get done than others…"

"….Which is ok but because you chose to do that you're so focused on getting one stack done that you neglect other 'less important ones' that have deadlines as well. You should organize them by due date. That way you can get through a variety of documents on time and be able to effectively plan out a timeline for the others…"

"Hm…" The idea wasn't bad at all. "Here." Pushing a pile in his direction. "If you insist on giving me advice on how to do my job….you might as well work to help me."

"You've gotta be kidding me…."

Staring down at him from the other side of the desk, he rolled his eyes and rose from his comfortable position to sit on the edge. Upon taking her rightful seat, she placed herself in no-nonsense mode and the two commenced with the task at hand. Sorting was probably the most tedious because they had to disassemble entire piles and the remake them. That alone took a few hours. Shikamaru was a bigger help than she thought although his ego may have been a little hurt by Izumo and Kotetsu asking if he took up a side job as a secretary. Temari was quick to chase them away. Once the new piles were organized, she saw that her work wasn't so scary after all if she came in and did one pile a day and that everything would get done, if not by the due date, then sooner. Shikamaru was also very detailed when it came to policy approval, almost as if this was his job more than hers. By the time the clock struck 1 outside, the stack for today was reviewed, organized and dispatched if need be.

"You know I'm never doing this again…" He yawned and lifted his body up off the desk.

"That's fine. I will admit that you did make my job easier….." She didn't want to say it but she had to give credit when credit was due. "Thanks…"

"Yea…" Walking to the window, he looked out on the bright summer day that was waiting outside.

_I guess having him around can be useful sometimes…._

Temari spun in her chair to face the same window behind her. Thinking about how much time she saved, she started to map out what she was going to do with the rest of her afternoon.

_Train….catch up on some reading….maybe I could help him with the pre-chunin exam work…._

"I'm going to feed the deer…" With his hands deep in his black uniform pockets, he strolled towards the door slower than his usual pace. She already knew the invitation was extended and considering how early the afternoon was, she decided she had a little time to play adventure with him. Temari had only been in the forest one other time and the terms were not as light as she would have liked them to be. She never wanted to revisit that moment again and it caused her temporary apprehension while her feet followed him out to the street.

Outside the gate, she spotted a rather familiar face entering the Standby Station. It was that of a stunning woman who stood about her height. Her hair was thick and black like tar that ran down her shoulders and her eyes were a striking crimson with a black ring inside. She wore a white dress that reached to her knees with black lines that connected to one red sleeve. The elegant yet bright aura made Temari feel slight inferior. They approached her just as soon as she finished up her conversation.

"Shikamaru."

"Kurenai sensei. What brings you to the hell hol-I mean Standby?"

_Ah….now I remember her. One of the Leaf's most powerful gen-jutsu user other than that bratty Uchiha…_

She must have found Shikamaru as much of a character as Temari did because she gave him that same smirk. "I have some papers to turn in. I'm coming back you know."

Shikamaru looked a little shocked and slightly weary of her idea. Temari didn't understand why. "What about Sumire? Are you sure you're ready to come back?"

"She'll be with my family during the time I work. I won't be doing anything out village. I actually got offered to be director of the advance gen-jutsu training group for the jounins. Knowing that I could help the village but not be far from her, I took the job." She then turned to Temari.

"You must be Temari of the Sand Village. I've heard a lot about you and what you're doing for the two villages. Thank you."

Temari was a bit caught off guard yet still very grateful for her praise. "Oh…thank you Kurenai-san…" The woman paused for a second and tilted her head. "You remind me so much of someone…"

"You mean my mother?" Shikamaru was very much serious to which Temari grit her teeth. The woman laughed but it wasn't in agreeance. She actually found his comparison quite funny.

_These leaf village people are crazy…._

"I'll come by and see Sumire later. The usual time."

"You never disappoint Shikamaru. I always expect you anyway."

Temari didn't understand the relationship between him and Kurenai but she did see he had a level of respect for her that she had never seen with anyone else. Once again, someone else who Shikamaru had admiration for over her. It wasn't so much the jealousy of her being a woman but the fact that she must have been someone extremely powerful. The way she spoke to Shikamaru though, was as if she was speaking to her equal but it was clear that she was the more advanced of the two of them. It seemed like in his own right, Shikamaru was also respected amoung his colleagues.

"Where are the both of you headed?"

"We're going to feed the deer." He replied like this was a usual routine.

"Oh…I see…" She gave them both a comically suspicious look over which made Temari a little nervous. "Well you two have fun. I'll be going. It was nice to meet you Temari. I hope we can meet again in the future."

Temari bowed politely and watched her pleasantly walk by. Temari had met many kunoichies such as herself and held them each in regard but she felt a resilient pull towards Kurenai. She looked just as strong as she did beautiful and there was the fact that she was not only a mother but a jounin held in high esteem by many at the same time. Despite the mother part, Temari had probably saw in her the type of woman she wanted to become but strangly behind those bright red eyes and parting smile she sensed a sort of loneliness.

"It seems like although you're the most unmotivated jounin I have ever met, people still have admiration for you. You must have done something remarkable for her to talk to you like that…"

"I am her daughter's future sensei…"

"You're a sensei already?..." This was new.

"Yea…" He looked downward at his feet as he kicked a small pebble. "It was dying wish of my sensei…Kurenai-sensei's lover and Sumire's father…" It all made sense as to why they treated each other as such and why he seemed to care so much about Kurenai's well being and that of her child. It pulled a thick heart string within her as the two started on their journey again but Shikamaru quickly brushed off the solumn atmosphere. "I really hope Sumire isn't a gen-jutsu user because I'd be toast…"

"I think you'd be toast regardless." Trying to imagine Shikamaru caught in a gen-jutsu spell if he decided to piss the little girl off was so funny that her internal laughter came bursting out. "Now that would be something I have to see!"

"Yea, yea have your fun. That would just be more work for me…"

….

They reached the edge of the forest where the grassy field created an ease into the density. Stopping right where she stood the very first time, she insisted on keeping up the level of respect she had for the clan grounds until he verbally allowed her inside. This time though, the forest had a different look to it, a brighter aura that was more inviting.

"Not this again….You can come in Temari." Her reverence for the sacred grounds must have annoyed him because she saw him shake his head and vanish in between the trees. Sticking to her guns was a deep part of her character so him being annoyed simply came with the territory. Being a bit more at ease, she wasn't in a rush to keep up with him and entered the forest at her own pace. She would find him eventually.

The trees were still as lush as they probably looked in the height of springtime and around them were patches of brightly colored flowers. This was definitely not the path she took to where she saw that gaping hole in the ground filled with large clumps of earth and rocks. The sun casted peaceful spotlights between the trees and the sound of birds and small insects hummed in the air. Stepping out of the way of branches and bushes, she followed the path of broken sticks and crushed grass until she heard a rushing stream close by. He left such obvious tracks on purpose so she wouldn't get lost, to which she detested. Having gone on many tracking missions, following someone was not as hard as it use to be, although she was no sensory type ninja. Clearing away some thick branches that blocked her path, she saw Shikamaru sitting on the edge of a small cliff where the water was running beneath him. He was puffing away at a fresh cigarette and sitting over on the left side of the small cliff when she came up next to him.

"This place is….beautiful." Temari really was amazed at how a forest actually looked when you weren't running for your life through it or in any hurry to get out.

"It's where I come to think." He gave the tobacco a long inhale. Due to where he was sitting, there was oddly just enough room for her to fit herself beside him where they didn't have to touch awkwardly.

"It makes sense. I would come here too…it's peaceful."

"It's quiet." Unzipping his green vest, she shed it and threw it behind him on the grass.

"So….you probably swam in this stream when you were younger I bet."

He tilted his head to the side in shy agreeance. "My old man use to bring me here when I was a kid in the summer. This was our spot away from my mom."

"You were lucky to have a father who would do those things with you…" Temari felt the void inside open up again when she thought of her childhood. Being too young to remember much before Gaara was born, she did find some snapshots in some old photos hidden away the day her father died. There were pictures a grinning Temari, her mother while she was pregnant with Kankuro and him at the Sand Village dedication festival. It was sad that the only time she saw her father smile was in some old portraits collecting dust in the bottom drawer of his desk. When she focused on her mother, she remembered how beautiful she actually was, how her smile was always welcoming and the love she always held in her arms. It was the only pure love she knew other than that of her uncle. Everyone else just treated her with honorary respect and her father? Well, he was never around much and so she took it upon herself to raise her brothers as best as she could and at times she would forget that she even had a father in the first place. She wasn't sure if there were memories she was forgetting or ones that she just choose not to remember but it wasn't often that she dwelled on the past. Moving forward prevented the heartache.

"I was. I try not to get too emotional but I do wish he was still around. I definitely wouldn't be swimming with him now though. We did have a lot of talks here too. Other than Asuma, he was the man I wanted mimic…except in his taste in women."

"Ha! You're bound to find one like your mother. It seems to be in your genes." She unstrapped the bag that was on her back that still had supplies in it from her trip and put it next to his vest further back.

"It's a curse. My father was whipped and that's one thing I don't plan on being. _If_…._if_ I have children and _if _I have a son, I'll teach him to break the cycle so my dad's family curse will be broken."

"Good luck with that." Temari had the same idea when it came to children. She didn't want any. Not because she hated children per say but she never felt that motherly instinct other than probably with her brothers. Even then she more classified as what an older sibling would do rather than anything maternal. Some women were meant to have a litter of them and some weren't. She saw herself as the latter. As she pondered to herself, she thought she heard a slight crumble coming from the underside of the cliff they were on. "Hm. I guess I didn't hear anything."

"Huh?"

"Nothing." The two went back to their silent reflection when she suddenly heard it again but this time it was louder. "What the…" Sadly, it was too late for either of them when the part they were sitting on suddenly gave way. Both of them being unsuspecting, didn't have enough time to catch themselves before going tumbling into the cool waters below that was easing by. Temari was the first to impact with a giant splash and found herself hitting the bottom with a forceful thud. The first thing she did was panic because she still had her tessen attached to her. It was waterproof for sure but drying it would take hours from what she learned from her battle with water style shinobi. Quickly, she pushed off the bed and propelled herself to the top, gasping for air and shivering. She probably looked like a pissed off wet cat as she swam towards the edge of the grass. Popping up a few feet away was Shikamaru who didn't look nearly as flustered as she did. In fact, he looked as though he had purposely jumped in for a quick swim and was getting out for a break. Pulling herself up out of the water while coughing out whatever had gotten down her throat and through the wrong pathway, she walked out to a small clearing and threw herself on the ground.

"You probably added too much weight. It was just fine when I was there alone."

"Shut…up…" Now was not the time to subliminally call her fat. Unstrapping her tessen which now needed to dry and probably re-polish, she made a mental note to go visit Master Tensen once she returned to the village. As she was pulling out her ponytails to let her hair dry, Shikamaru pulled his soaking black t shirt over his head and opened it out on the ground to dry. "You act like you never went swimming before."

"I have, but I don't really like to." She wrung her blonde locks angrily. "I'll soon probably smell like a wet animal. Just great. I can't go back to the village looking like this."

"Then let your clothes dry in the sun." Shikamaru already had his shoes off.

"I'm not going to parade myself around naked in a sacred forest. I'm sure your family deer are not far off either. I read you can see the forest through their eyes."

"We can but…the majority of them are watching something more important right now."

"Either way, I'm not doing it. I'll just sit here and let them dry on my body."

"Suit yourself." Lying back on the grass with his hands behind his head, he closed his eyes and basked in the sunrays that just so happened to be focused in the spot they were sitting. Temari gave him the side eye and muttered to herself that she was not going to desecrate a clan's ground so easily. She opened up her tessen to dry and then stubbornly sat with her back to the sun to wait it out.

_Today started off so promising but this is your luck Temari… _

10 minutes. 10 minutes of shivering from the cold water and being no closer to dryinng then before, she came to the conclusion that she had no choice but to listen to what Shikamaru had suggested. It took a lot in her to admit to herself what she had to do and so silently (and still with a stubborn attitude), she got up and went behind her tessen. "Don't look."

"Wasn't planning on it."

She had to think of a way to not be completely naked but still allow her dress to dry. The idea she came up with was to use her obi as make-shift bra. It wouldn't support her much at all but at least there would be no chance of a pervy Nara male catching a glimpse of her ta-tas through the eyes of those deer. Making sure it was secure; she tied it tightly and made a bow in the back. There was no way she was taking off her underwear but she did remove her net leg armor and placed it next to her dress with her shoes. When she decided to take a peek above her fan, she saw that Shikamru hadn't moved an inch.

_This is so unorthodox…._

Folding her arms over her chest, she cautiously stepped out from behind her barrier and inched her way back over to her spot behind him.

"You're acting like I've never seen you naked before…"

"The point is that this is-"

"Clan grounds. I got it but like I said before, no one is going to see you." Opening on eye and looking back at her. "You should loosen up Temari." His mimic of her own words was spot on but it only added fuel to her fire.

"I'm going to kick your ass when I get out of those compromising position."

"Bring it on." Her threat didn't faze him one bit and he simply got up and stretched his muscles while he walked back towards the edge of the water.

_So you choose to take me lightly…._

Releasing herself from her awkward position, she found this the perfect chance to exact her revenge on this disrespectful Nara. Stooping this low was unlike Temari but she was in no position to attack him head on so this was a quick way. Trying to be as quiet as she could, she tip toed like a naughty child across the grass towards him while his back completely turned to her.

_This will teach you to mock me…._

The stage was set and everything was going according to plan when she came up as close as she needed to behind him. All that was left was for her to push and he'd go tumbling back into the water with a look of dismay that would leave her feeling quite triumphant. What she failed to remember was that this was Shikamaru and that he was always at least 50 moves ahead. Atleast. At the exact moment she shoved him with all of her might, he did a quick 180 as he went plummeting over the edge and grabbed her left hand that didn't pull away in time. That's when she saw it, that all knowing side smirk that made her realized he knew she was coming this entire time.

"Shikamaru!" There was no escape now and the two hit the water with an even bigger splash that sent them straight for the sediment again. He had lured her in like an unsuspecting fish and hooked her in no time. That's the way it always went. Under the water, she pulled herself away, even more furious than she was before but he clearly thought this was all a game. When she surfaced she was cursing and swearing at him as he appeared in front of her but all he did was laugh at the site of her hair stuck tightly to her face, that wrinkled nose and angry expression that shot bullets at him from her eyes. "Shikamaru, you bastard! You're so immature!"

"Says the girl who tried to sneak up on me like an academy student! I bet even Konohomaru could've done better!" His laughter was so loud that it echoed through the trees and when she looked into his eyes, she saw a hint of sparkle that made her realize that she had never seen Shikamaru laugh before. He would smirk like usual, smile a few times and even chuckle but a full-out, side splitting laughter was out of the question. It was a new side of him that she didn't expect to see and although the joke was on her, she found she enjoyed his laugh just a little. It must have been infectious because not long after, she found herself chuckling and then laughing just as hard as he was until they both sounded like cackling idiots.

"Ok, ok…I'll give you that one…"

"Just that one…" Without warning, Shikamaru went under and Temari tensed up.

"Ok Shikamaru….Joke's over. I'm serious now…I'm starting to get cold and-" She felt something grab her thighs tightly and swiftly pull her under with just enough time to hold her breath. Struggling in his arms to free herself as he worked his way up to her torso, he brought her back up with such speed that she didn't know he had. Within a few blinks, Temari was flying through the air away from Shikamaru who just stood there watching her. "Shikamaru this isn't funny!" Landing a few feet away in a crouched ball, she saw that he threw her on the deeper side of the water which was a lot colder. She quickly surfaced again with more vengeance she collected while she was at the bottom. "You just don't know when to quit you child!" Now even colder than before, she paddled her way back to the warmer side of the water and leaned herself up against the bank on her stomach.

"You really are mad…you Sand Villagers must really be stiff in the neck…" Temari was silent for she made a mental promise that she was not going to speak to him until he apologized. "Wow, not one word huh?...Ok then." She was still waiting silently while she looked on at the greenery in front of her. "If you're waiting for an apology then you'll probably never leave the forest…" Biting her lip, she tried to contain herself and she swam over to the other side of the bank where she saw her bag sitting not too far away. She remembered that she still had a few items from her trip in there and maybe there was some sort of blanket or large eating cloth she could use. Lucky for her, she found one of her sleeping blankets rolled up tightly inside. As to why she never used this early was beyond her. "You can be such a drag sometimes you know that…"

If there was one thing she hated, it was what he just said and there was no way she could stay silent now. "Oh really? Look, you ass-" Before she could turn around with a full rebuttal, she suddenly felt her body perk up to a strange sensation on the edge of her left shoulder. Turning her gaze, she saw Shikamaru gently nipping at her skin which sent her nerves jolting all the way down to her fingertips. "Shikamaru…we're in a forest…"

"Thanks for stating the obvious…" His teeth worked their way up to the base of her neck while his hands ran along her arms like firm pillars.

"You can't just seduce me in your clan's forest."

"Why not?" When he chuckled, his waving breath tickled against her nape. "I'm sure my parents didn't care…but I am trying not to imagine anything." Temari was not about to do _this_ in a forest, uncovered, in a forest, where people could be watching, in a forest. It was now or never for her to break free from his form grasp that he had over her bare torso and so she lifted herself up to get onto the bank but he had other ideas. He let her go, but only to grab part of the bow on her obi and pull. In one swoop, it came tumbling into the water beneath her and the rush of air forced her back into his clutches. She turned around with her hand over her breasts and with a heated gaze (and even hotter emotions), about the tell him off thoroughly.

"Shika-" Her sentence was cut short by his lips crashing into hers in an unexpected, unwarranted, not wanted yet suddenly desired kiss. Fighting her instincts to not get trapped again in the embrace of a man she had been trying to break away from, Temari tried her best to resist the urge to fall into him again. Shikamaru represented the exact thing she never wanted with a man. A connection or as she saw, a leash around her neck. His eyes were cool but she might get lost in his gaze and lose herself in the process. His embrace was strong but it might make her weak in her resolve. His subtle intellect and his casual attitude were mystifying but the spell might leave her broken. Her fear of him was not really a fear of _him_ but a fear of what he was capable of and the very idea of it all was frightening. These moments she shared with him, although casual could very well turn into having meaning and the end might not be some beautiful love story. This could have been how it was with her parents in that perfect family portrait that she hid away behind the picture she had of her and her brothers. The possibility was very real. At this point though, she found her body giving in even though her mind was pulling her away and the kiss she shared with him grew deeper and deeper. Her hands tangled themselves in the brown hairs that escaped his ponytail and she allowed him to slide his fingers over the parts of her that had been dead since his last visit. The moment could be seen as a romantic scene, as two lovers expressed their desire for physicality but that was not Temari and Shikamaru. This scene was not romantic and they were not lovers. Simply bodies suspemded in whatever state they happen to catch themselves in. Their motto was; whatever works. Using his free hand, he pulled them both out of the water and onto the banks in the sunlight.

It felt a lot warmer than before and that may have helped her muscles relax under his weight and allow him to slide her underwear down to her ankles. She couldn't say he wasn't a gentleman because he reached for the blanket she had pulled out of her bag and opened it out to over them. Now, under a deep blue canopy, they commenced with less hesitation. With a burning intensity, he slowed his kisses down her torso and enveloped her breasts into his mouth while his hands clasped tightly with hers. She gasped at the feeling of his tongue flickering her sensitive areola as she kicked her panties off and wrapped her thighs around his pelvis. He could write a book on foreplay alone and it'd sell out because he knew exactly where to touch her an extract a pleasing groan from her voicebox. He played her like his favorite instrument. Temari had to hold back from getting too into the teasing and neglecting the actual act so she bound her emotions up tight. He rose up and came down so she could taste his lips to feed her hunger that was no wreaking havoc on her hormones. By this time she had a firm hold on the back of his head and he the curves on her thighs that he dug his fingers in. They were so into each other that they forgot about the blanket and slid off to reveal the pair groping in satisfaction. When she felt the air hit her, she caused them both to roll over so she ended up on top of him to pull them back under their protection. When she sat up, she was confused to see that this whole time he was still wearing his pants and he looked down, giving her a nudging look. Sitting up on his forearms, he came back again for that spot on her shoulder and she took the liberty of inching the clothing on his lower half off until she had released them from his ankles. Now, the stage was set and everything was ready for the final plunge into the darkness of her addiction. Pressing on his defined ab muscles, she hoisted herself up high enough to be directly over his member that was standing at attention. They were both holding their breath at this point and waiting for that moment of contact. Finally, she came down but slowly enough for her to feel every centimeter rub against her moist walls. She got a drawn out grunt from him took a firm clasp of his hands to use to as an object to push off of. Sliding up and down like a lazy piston, she pumped every breath out of her and let the feelings rush out like a dam until she was completely overtaken. Screwing him was marvelous because he always found the balance between letting her explore things for herself yet still being in his control. He used his hips to shift positions for a different sensation that caused her to hit a new high every time. Biting her lip, she was moaning him a gratitude for treating her so well, an apology for trying to fight him and yet a regret for letting herself fall prey to such a man. It was a confusing and dizzing spell of unsaid emotions and tension that stretched far back to probably the chunin exam. There was when she first really noticed him, eyes lowered and gazing at her like she was probably the craziest girl he'd ever met. After 30 minutes of unhurried pleasure and indulging herself, she began to grind more intensely now and she felt the tightening of his grip. By now her body was shaking like a fiend and she gritted her teeth against the still aroused Shikamaru who didn't seem to be letting up.

"I can't…" She was panting so hard she could barely catch her breath. "Hold on…" Letting out a frustrated scream, her hands found his flexed biceps and squeezed. "anymore…" The time had come where she could no longer be a warrior and had to be a woman when she felt him tilt his hips and hit her in _that_ spot. She came down again a lot harder and the rest of her body went numb. He had awaked her inner addict and she took in as much as she could before her body wouldn't let her anymore. The moment came and the volcanic sensation of warmth and a blazing burn pulsated through her body and made her blood boil in deep satisfaction. When the moment finally came, threw her head back and cried out through her teeth with shut eyes as she milked the feeling for every drop she could get. He had her star-struck and caught up in a period of ecstasy that was she cursed herself for denying. This wasn't the first orgasm from a man but for some reason the one he gave her felt a lot more freeing and the rush more fulfilling. He must have a came a few seconds after because she felt his grasp on her hips grow so tight that it would probably leave a bruise. He gave a firm grunt and then released himself inside of her. The haze of it all finally faded though and along with her energy to the point where she had no choice but to let her body land where it may. With her head on his chest and her hands on his arm, she began to catch her breath and the alternate reality under their little cover began to disappear. What she felt after was something that that made her want to shut her eyes again and just take off running until she couldn't feel her feet anymore, or feel at all. Regret. It was creeping up inside of her like the cold of a winter's day. She wasn't sure if it was because her hormones and emotions were on some sort of rollercoaster but it took all that she could to fight back the tears of guilt and anger for giving in again. How could she think, that even for a moment that anything good could become of this? Of them? The world they lived in was too cruel and selective to allow everyone their fantasy ending and that was the only reality she knew. No matter how much things may seem to point in a positive direction, it could just as easily take a turn for the worst. Love was like war. She quietly remained motionless as a single tear rolled down onto his skin. She wiped in quickly. He couldn't see her like this.

"Temari…"

"…What."

"Let's not see each other like this anymore."

"…Good."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11: A good push**

The past 5 days, 8 hours and 17 minutes seemed to drain the sands of time like they were made of the syrup tapped from maple trees. The only difference was the moments weren't as sweet. It had been three days since she sent a message to Gaara asking for his permission for her to return home. Konoha was making her sick. It wasn't so much the flu from the sudden chill in the air but the churning emotions that caused her mind to burn and bubble. She didn't even have the motivation to do anything but lie dormant under her covers, even when she heard a knock at the door.

"Temari-san." An unfamiliar voice echoed from the other end.

"Yes?"

"I have a message from the Kazekage." What she had been waiting for.

"Please slide it under the door."

"Uh…alright. Here you go."

"Thank you." Pulling herself up, she wrapped her sheets around her and walked across the cold wood floor over to the simple slip of paper on the ground. She held her breath as she picked it up and read the note inside.

Temari,

If you really wish to return, I believe the air is clear enough.

Gaara

The words put a smile on her face that had been long gone for a while now. Finally, she could get away from this place as fast as she could. Since she needed to gather supplies for her journey though, she set herself to leave the next day. "Thank you Gaara." She walked over to her curtains with a pep in her step and swung it open and took in the fresh Fall scenery. Nothing had greatly changed except the weather but she had noticed more and more leaves began to rain down from the trees and more shops began hanging signs for warm soup and tea. "I think I'll go out for breakfast."

Being unprepared from basically rushing out of the Sand Village at a moment's notice, Temari had to dash through the streets in search of a sleeved shirt she could wear under her kimono. The Sand Village did get Fall temperatures but it never waned too far from there so she was never fully use to the cold. The city looked very welcoming to the weather though and people seemed just as excited and happy as with the coming of spring and summer. The Academy kids were rushing to class, bumping and pushing their way through the crowds of people and couples were strolling hand in hand, enjoying a morning probably without their children. She even thought she spotted that weird bug kid Shino with an overly excited brown-headed girl who seemed to be dragging him into the different shops.

_I would have never put him with someone like her…_

Temari usually didn't notice these types of things but for past few days all she seemed to zero in on was the mush of overly emotional couples and frequent PDA interactions. It was as if the world was trying to mock her but she wouldn't let it. After 30 minutes of walking, she finally found a shirt that suited her style and had to excuse herself to the nearest restroom to change. She sorely detested the fact that the temperature nipped her skin that much to cause her to have to change in the public restroom but it had to be done. The only other time she did it was when she spilled ramen on herself when she had lunch with Shikamaru a few months back. It was worth it because she felt much better as she walked over to a small tea shop across the street.

"Welcome." A pleasant young woman bowed at the entrance and walked her into the moderately busy shop that had a hum of chatter in the air. Right as she sat down, she saw a shadow of a female figure get casted over her table.

"Temari!" Sakura stood over her in a white medical-nin jacket.

"Oh. Hello Sakura."

She sat herself down on the seat across from her. "I heard you came back. Couldn't get enough of us huh?"

"Just for a little bit and I think I've had my fill of Konoha. I'm leaving tomorrow."

"Oh. Well at least I got the chance to see you before you left." The waitress came by and took their orders of sour apple and a sweet plum flavor. "How are you?"

"I'm fine." Temari spun the lily between her finger that she plucked from the small vase in the middle.

"That's good. I have the middle shift at work so I don't have to be in for another hour. Things at the hospital have picked up and we're prepping for flu season already." The way she spoke and her tone was so much lighter than the last time she had met her at the party.

"You're one of the few people I know to get excited over an upcoming sickness wave."

"What can I say? I love my job…sometimes. I don't think I would find your job that interesting but I'm sure you like it a lot."

"It has it's perks I suppose…I do enjoy traveling." Temari's mind was neither here nor there.

"Being away from home can be scary sometimes. I always sucked up being too far from my parents but I never liked it. I'm happiest when I'm closest to them."

"And to Sasuke as well I presume." Glancing up from her finger acrobatics, she caught the end tail of Sakura's blush. "I take it you two are doing well."

"I wouldn't say well but….better." She seemed to be temporarily sucked into her thoughts as she smiled.

"It will take some time."

"I know and I'm willing to wait until he's ready. There's no way I can understand what he's going through but I do understand how he usually deals with his problems. I'll be there for him when he needs me."

_She still has no idea what she's getting into…._

"I'm sure you and Shikamaru have found a balance of everything. You both are really mature and focused so you both probably have more adult problems than Sasuke and I…"

"We don't have problems….because there is no atmosphere to create them. If he has any problems then it would probably be with someone else." In a momentary lapse of emotions, she snapped the stem of the flower in half.

"Oh that's right. You guys still have your poker faces on. I suppose that's a wise choice so nobody knows your business…and here I am yapping your ear off with all of mine."

"It's fine." The waitress brought back their cups of tea that tied her nostrils around the scent of smooth yet sour apple.

"I couldn't drink that. Sour things never agreed with my taste buds. Do you always like your drinks like that?"

"I love sour things in general." Temari took a sip and it warmed her bones. "Sour is an honest taste."

"Hm. I never thought of that before. Does that mean sweet is a lie?"

"In some cases."

"I think sweet is endearing."

"But sometimes unrealistic." Were they still talking about flavors at this point?

"Temari?" Sakura sounded a little concerned.

"Huh?"

"Are you sure you're ok?"

"I'm fine. I'm just anxious to go home. " It was the only thing that mattered at this point and not completely a lie.

…

Standing at the Konoha gates, she double checked her bags to make sure that she didn't forget anything. Even if she did, she wasn't coming back to get it. "I think that's all." Before she left, Master Tensen took the liberty of polishing her tessen and refining and buffering the steel that may have been dulled and scratched over time. He also repainted it but at a cost. That man could only do so much "charity work" before his pockets started to cry. It wasn't too expensive but at the same time she could have easily placed it into her savings. It was part of being a good shinobi after all. She slung her bag around one shoulder this time because she changed the straps for traveling purposes and silently took in her last moments. Looking back at the village she felt a pang of sadness for some reason, even though she was always strictly here on business. The place grew on her more than she liked.

"Alright."

Just as she was about to begin her journey, she glanced at a figure through the corner of her eye coming from one of the shops. She instantly curse dher wandering vision and wished she never looked in that direction. Coming out of the shop with one hand behind his head was none other than Shikamaru. Seeing him lazily stroll through village was nothing out of the ordinary but this time there was something that broke her traveling high. There she was, tightly clinging to his arm was the girl with the dying grass colored hair, thin figure and ditzy smile. The girl with the bell earrings. She felt a bit embarrassed that she would even remember someone who had no important connection to her life but there was no mistaking it. Basically chatting his ear off, she had her hands tightly clutched to his free arm and her autumn orange eyes were bright with excitement for whatever she was telling him about. To other people, they may have looked like a blossoming young couple enjoying a day to themselves but to Temari she was disgusted. The disgust then turned to a quiet disappointment at herself for even allowing that hint of jealousy to catch her. If she could take anything away from this scene, it was that everything she had thought about relationships was actually true. If she knew it all along though, why did she still feel this way? Was she still subtly lying to herself that she could be one of the few that fortune took pity on?

_You're nothing but a sap Temari…._

Feeling more ashamed of herself, she turned away from the scene and decided that at that moment, she would kill whatever was left that she felt for him or anyone she could remotely find herself connected too. A Shinobi was to never show weakness or fragility. There was no room for compromised emotions and pipe dream fantasies. This was the world she lived in. She began to walk with an indifferent stride right out the gates as if she didn't see anything at all.

The three days it took to get to the Sand Village were very quiet and routine. She stopped at her usual places and even found some time to train before she went to sleep. Kamatari appreciated the exercise as well for he complained his home could grow stuffy and had a lot less things to cut up than Temari's world. Her final night, she found herself at the town bar, drinking some nigori alone at a table. She had no problem drinking alone and often preferred the solitude to enjoy some personal time. Thinking that her night would remain on such course, she was annoyed when a tall, white haired shinobi with a long braided ponytail sat _himself_ across from her.

"Hello."

"Hi." Maybe he could take the hint without her having to outright tell him.

"Why is a pretty lady like you alone on such a chilly evening?" Placing one arm on the table, he smiled and tilted his head so she could see his cloud plate across his forehead. Any other woman would find his blue eyes dazzling and the smooth way he pronounced his words very appealing but Temari had seen one too many like him.

"Get lost." She rolled her eyes and continued her drink,

"Whoa. What's with the bitterness? I was just trying to be nice." He didn't seem to be going anywhere anytime soon.

"I'm not in the mood."

"I could tell from when you first walked in that you probably had a rough day. I'm uh….sorry for stirring you up." He scratched the back of his head in embarrassment. His sincerity was irritating, especially since she started to feel bad for being so rude. "My name is Kaito…and your's is?.."

"You don't need to know." The closer she got to her village the more incognito she had to become.

"Alright. I can take that. I do know you're from the Sand Village though so your home isn't too far away. Coming back from a mission?" His smile was charming under the dim table lamp overhead and she eased a bit.

"No. I was just traveling."

"You're lucky you have time to do that. I'm on my way back from your village. I was there on Kage business. The Kazekage is so young and I felt like such a loser for being 23 and only a Jounin. I have a lot of respect for him." His complements of Gaara perked her up a bit. It also wasn't bad that he seemed to be pretty decent in conversation.

"He is very intelligent and mature for his age. We are proud of the type of leader he has become." Gaara would be very appreciative of a foreigner's compliments.

"Yea." They both looked around the bar as it started to fill up with people. "You wanna go outside? I promise I'm not a perv with a hidden agenda….unless you're into that kind of stuff. Even if you are, I still couldn't make you happy." They both chuckled and Temari felt that old spark she thought died, erupt again. Was she back to her old self?

"Sure…."

Outside the bar they found a quiet table off to the side and their conversation last for hours. They spoke about very general things yet in an altered way that made even the subject of rice pudding funny and insightful. She stayed away from her history and any personal information but he never really asked. He told her stories about the unorthodox ways of the Raikage and confirmed her statement about how he never used doors. Kaito said that the workman were actually on call more than the city doctors and probably got paid just a little less than they did. They both found Killer B's music strange but captivating at times and she mentioned that his CD's sell out in Suna. What she didn't tell him was that many times she caught Gaara rapping alone in his room and practicing rhyming greetings that she thinks he uses with B in private. She almost lost track of time with their ongoing stories until she looked at the clock outside. 12 am. "It's getting late."

"Oh I'm sorry! You probably have to wake up early to get back to your village."

"That was the plan until I got drawn into our talk about spicy ramen."

"Yea that sure is a great conversation starter." He got her chuckling again at his embarrassed expression. "You're unlike most kunoichi I come in contact with."

"Oh?"

"You're so smooth and relaxed yet I'm sure you can be very serious when the time calls for it. Talking with you seems so natural."

"We do appear to get along ok…." Temari was still a bit wary about getting in too deep with this stranger.

"Well, before it starts getting later…How about I walk you back to your hotel. No perv here as you can tell so you won't have to worry about me dragging you into a dark ally or anything."

"Psh. I'm not. You'd be dead before you could touch me." She was serious.

"Ha…ha…Yea I know." They both got up and left their payment on the table before heading out onto the main street. Her hotel wasn't too far away and she did it on purpose just in case she had a little too much to drink. "I'm a little disappointed that you leave tomorrow….as corny as that sounds."

"It sounds very corny and I'm sure you'll be ok. You should be more focused on finishing your mission."

"You're right. I can see you as being the type of wife your husband would have no choice but to listen to. You're very smart and straight forward."

"Well no man would have to worry about that. I don't plan on getting married."

"What? I'm sure a girl like you has loads of guys at your doorstep. You're going to make them all cry you know?"

"Tears never fazed me so bring on the waterworks."

"Ice woman!"

She stopped in front of the archway that lead into the courtyard of the hotel building. "This is my stop."

"That wasn't far at all….well….I guess this is goodbye then."

"It is."

"Thanks for the company tonight Miss….whoever you are. I hope we can cross paths again so maybe I can get your name next time." The smile he gave her was youthful and comforting and it melted away at the barricade she put up.

"You're welcome."

He turned away to walk down the street yet Temari had a hard time letting him continue on his way. Maybe it was because she was bored. Maybe it was because she still had energy left. Maybe it was because she didn't want to admit that she didn't want the solitude at this point but she found herself calling him back.

"Hey Kaito!" The surprised look on his face was endearing. "Do you wanna…come inside?" Unlike most men who usually went running like a sprinter when she sent out an invitation, Kaito looked a bit apprehensive.

"Um….you're not drunk or anything are you?"

"Ha! As if a few glasses of nigori would get me. My tolerance is much too high for that…"

"Well…."

"Just come inside ok?" Looking both ways to make sure none of the inhabitants had seen her, she took him by the wrist and escorted him through the courtyard and into her small room.

"This is a lot bigger than where I'm staying!"

"You mean there are places smaller than this?"

"Yep. You must have a lot more money than I do." Temari had more than enough to live off of for the rest of her life.

"Maybe I do…" Unstrapping her fan, she went over to the side of her room where the hostess left a fresh pot of tea and two cups on a tray by her bed. Whenever Temari stayed at this place, she always requested the homemade tea of the owner around midnight just in case she didn't fall asleep. When she touched the pot, it still felt hot so she must have brought it not long ago. "Would you like some tea?"

"Oh yes! Thank you!" He sounded a lot more grateful than anyone else she had offered tea too. She met him in the middle of the room with cup that was still steaming. "This tea is remarkable….it reminds me of my mother's tea…" He drank It happily.

"She must be very skilled at making it then."

"She is. Whenever I get back from missions, since I'm not married or anything, I go to visit my parents and she makes some for me. She's wonderful you know?"

_He actually enjoys his mother's company….unlike someone I kno- No Temari. Forget it. _

Kaito finished quickly and Temari wondered if he didn't burn his tongue or scorch the inside of his mouth. She was still only half way but she put her cup down to take his. Reaching out to get it, she accidentally touched his hand that had a grasp on it. He blushed and she smiled awkwardly. "You're really kind….it's a shame you don't want to find anything serious. You'd make a great woman to a lucky man."

"I beg to differ. You don't know me very well."

"I think I do….When I look at you I see someone who has the possibility to make someone very happy and who wants to be happy…yet you seem to deny the belief that it's possible. I don't know why."

"It's good you don't." She finally took his cup and walked over to the table in the corner of the room. Only having her back turned for a moment, she felt him come up behind her and grab her hand. At first she was about to twist his wrist and slam him into the carpeted floor but when he turned her around he looked deep into her eyes with those blue pools. His gaze was understanding and so full of life and energy that she couldn't turn away.

"Maybe all you need is someone to help you believe…" The line was so cliché. So out of a fairytale book that it was revolting but he seemed like he lived every word he said and maybe for a moment she would entertain someone like him. There was no rational to this moment or any reason she could give (or wanted to give) as to why she gave in to this strange shinobi but it wasn't long before she let her lips connect with his in a very gentle kiss. His touch was soft and traveled down her torso to her lower back where he embraced her like he had been preparing himself for this moment before she even knew he existed. She found herself getting very into his body that she could feel through his grey cotton tunic. Things started to get heavy when he abruptly pulled away.

"Oh geez I'm sorry! I didn't mean to be so bold. I guess I let myself off the leash too much." She was astonished at the fact that he really was apologizing and looking very guilty at that.

"It's fine…I didn't object so you have no reason to feel bad."

"I don't want you to feel like I planned all this. I don't know you and I'm sure you don't usually do this. Maybe it's best I go before I put you in a more compromising position."

"No. You can stay."

"Are you sure?" She was so use to being the one protesting that she didn't know what to make of it.

"Mhm." Temari initiated the kiss once more and they both started to drift into desire in the still of the night. He was very careful in uniting her obi and she thought she felt his fingers shake a little while he opened up her Kimono and exposed her body to him. Temari was the one who lifted his shirt above his head and ran her fingers down his ripped torso. His skin was soft yet cold to her touch probably because of the weather outside. He nipped her earlobe and tickled her sides with the tips of his fingers which caused her to lean slightly away from him. They both came down on a heap onto the plain white mat and he worked his way down her chest. Everything was going well and he was everything that a girl could ask for in a casual nigh. His touch was light. His embrace was gentle. His gaze was emotional. His lips were soothing. Yet, sometime was wrong. Temari felt off and uncomfortable but she couldn't put her finger on why. When he wrapped his fingers around her torso and she looked down at him into his eyes it suddenly hit her. His touch was light but his fingers weren't firm. His embrace was gentle yet not balanced with strength. His gaze was emotional yet lacked a calmness. His lips were soothing but he missed the spots on her that burned. There was only one explanation as to why he had so much yet so little.

_He's not Shikamaru…_

That's when it happened. The anger, the anxiousness, the disappointment, the guilt, the shame, the regret and everything she had worked so hard to bury under her mature disposition had resurfaced into a beast that could not be tamed with a one night stand with a man who could very well be prince charming. His perfection was his flaw. Shutting her eyes, she grit her teeth and tried her best to reason as to why she should continue with this and how a moment with someone else may be what she needed. It appeared to work for Shikamaru so it had to be a remedy. The more Kaito touched her, the more frustrated she got until she couldn't handle it any longer.

"Stop…"

"What?..."

"Please….just stop." She could only fix her gaze on the ceiling for looking at him may cause her to pity the guy.

"Is everything ok? Did I hurt you? I'm sorry!"

"You didn't hurt me….you're fine." Getting up from the ground, she took the sheets and wrapped them around herself.

"Ok ok. Your face is all red. Do you want some water?"

"No. No, I don't want water….I just….this just doesn't feel right."

"Oh. Well that's ok. We don't have to do this if you don't want to. I'm not that type."

"I know Kaito. You're a nice guy."

"You think I'm nice? Thanks. I think I can be a loser sometimes. I'm not that good with women."

"How's that? You're very good looking and a gentleman too."

"So I've been told but I don't understand the opposite sex very well…That's why I'm still single I guess."

"You'll find a nice girl who will compliment you. Just stay away from my type and you'll be fine."

"Why would I do that? I like…your type? I like you Miss whoever you are but….I see you may be thinking about somebody else."

His assumption hit her where it hurt. "I'm not."

"Oh ok! I didn't mean to pry it's just….I see it your eyes."

"You claim to see a lot in my eyes."

"It's a gift I guess. You can tell a lot about a person through their eyes."

Turning to him directly, she decided to test out his idea. "Then what do you see now?"

"Someone who just wants some company."

…

As she came closer and closer to her village entrance, she couldn't help but look back and wonder what happened to that strange Shinobi with the blue eyes and simple emotions. That night they stayed up talking until they both fell asleep on her mat in her room. When she woke up, she found that he snuck away into the bathroom and quickly gathered her things before he would return. Just as she was about to leave without a trace, she decided that meeting him was more of a weight-lifter than she gave him credit for. She left a piece of paper with a simple sentence on it.

"Reach me here." She hoped he got her hint.

In the distance, she saw that familiar black figure pacing back and forth across the desert sand and she knew she was home. Back to where things actually made sense.

"Kankuro." With a smirk, she came up to her younger brother expecting to give her that welcoming smile but instead his expression looked very grave and worried. "What is it?"

"I think you'd better go see Gaara." That in itself couldn't be good at all. She had thought since he allowed her back that things settled down on this side of the land but she thought wrong.

With her heart pounding as hard as her steps, she walked down the long hallway to Gaara's office with Kankuro keeping up next to her. She was trying to decipher what had everyone so tense but there was no way she could figure it out without any clues. There was no choice but to hear what Gaara had to say.

"Lord Kazekage. Lady Temari and Lord Kankuro have arrived!" The Jounin guard standing at the door announced their arrival.

"Let them in…" His too also sounded serious. When she came in, she saw him looking out the window with his hands clasped behind his back. She wasn't sure what he was thinking about but she knew it was connected to why everyone was on edge. "Sit down Temari…"

Sliding into the chair, Kankuro closed the door behind them. "What's wrong Gaara? Everyone looks so uneasy."

He didn't say anything for a while and it got her every more nervous and worked up to the point where she was wringing her Kimono between her fingers.

"It's Lady Rie…."

_Ofcourse…._

"Temari I believe she has went behind our backs in terms of your marital business…"

"Ok? Didn't you already tell her that she needed to discuss everything with me? She can't do anything without my approval."

"We know but that snake of a woman decided to take matters into her own hands." Kankuro came up beside her.

"It came to my attention today that she made a visit to the Feudal Lord." Gaara turned around and sat back in his chair

"The Feudal Lord? What does he have to do with me?" Temari was extremely confused.

"It seems as though she has a good relationship with him and his family….and is the godmother to his son…"

"His son? I don't understand."

"The Feudal Lord is now in the works of finding his son a wife because he is getting very old and would like to see an heir after his son before he dies…"

"Ok….Still, what does that have to do with me?" Temari felt like they were doing nothing but running in circles.

"Ugh! Temari don't you get? The only reason why she went there was to address the issue of his marriage!" If Kankuro was getting all this then she knew she must have dumbed down a lot since her trip.

"His marriage to who?! What are you both talking about?!"

"She's trying to arrange a marriage between the Feudal Lord's son…and you, Temari." Gaara's words slammed into her like a ton of bricks and she saw her reality shatter into a million pieces. Her goals, her dreams and everything else she had planned all suddenly became impossible upon hearing the news. There was no way this would happen though. There was no way she was going to let some selfish witch steal her future and hand it to some trumped up spoiled Feudal male. No, she'd kill her first before Lady Rie had the chance to do it.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12: What makes her drink**

"Temari! Temari wait!" Kankuro's word fell on deaf ears as he frantically chased from behind her. Marching like a fully focused solider, Temari made her way to Lady's Rie's office with a vengeance so hellish that if it could manifest, it would burn a large hole into the floor.

"If she thinks she can rope me in that easily, she's got another thing coming!"

"Everyone look out!" A jounin standing in the hallway was able to pull his partner out of her way just in time because he knew she wasn't stopping. At this rate, she was just as dangerous as any animal stampede or rouge boulder. With her sights targeted on the last door on the left, she didn't even hesitate to approach it and promptly kick the door down.

Her eyes were met with the very startled expression of the Feudal Lord who had seated himself comfortably in an arm chair with some tea.

"Speaking of Lady Temari my Lord, here she is…" Temari heard the rest of Lady Rie's sentence that slithered out between her teeth, "In all her wild and uncontrolled glory…"

"Don't talk to me like that!" Temari came too far to let the presence of the Feudal Lord stop her from receiving justice. "My apologies my Lord but I have something to say in regards to this entire ordeal where my ring finger is the prize to be won."

Still very startled, he look slightly afraid to let her do anything but continue. "Um…go ahead Lady Temari."

"I _refuse_ to let my life by determined by the secret and _untrustworthy_ will of others." Giving Lady Rie the death stare. "I am sorry my Lord but I have no desire to get married. Ever. I enjoy my life as a Kunoichi by my brothers and doing my duty to bring peace between ourselves and the neighboring lands. I have grown too much and have come too far to trade this life in for an apron and broom!" There was silence throughout the room before she heard the light-hearted laughter of the Feudal Lord.

"Lady Rie you're right! She is perfect for my son! She will teach him the backbone he needs to run this land properly! I like her!" He turned to Temari who was now the startled one. "I like you child!"

Lady Rie's mouth curled into a deceiving smile. "Thank you my Lord. I am glad you trust my abilities to find a good match for your son. I believe these two will produce very strong and intelligent sons as well as charming and graceful daughters….once we train Lady Temari in the ways of filial duties." Behind her fan, she giggled and it made Temari want to cut her into a few thousand pieces.

"Has no one heard a word I said?!"

"Temari!" Lady Rie snapped. "You are not to speak that way in front of the Feudal Lord! He is the ruler of this land and holds many things in his hand….including the Kazekage….."

_Is she threatening me?..._

"Try not to forget that dear…"

Clenching her fist until it was blushing red, she really just wanted to take her on right at that moment but suddenly she felt a soft hand land on her shoulder.

"My apologies my Lord…" Gaara. "My sister is not afraid to speak her mind, which can be a very admirable thing." He bowed graciously.

"Gaara! I was planning on stopping by your office once I was finished here but it's a delight to see you. I wanted to speak with you about setting up a date where your sister can meet my son."

"I beg your pardon?"

"You must be so busy running things around here that you probably didn't here. I think your sister would make a fine candidate for a wife for my son. Right now, I am having him meet all of the girls I've selected and I would like to set up a time for your sister."

"Well right now I have her on a full schedule of missions since she is a diplomat between the Sand and Leaf…"

"Alright then! I would like to set it up date in a month or so. I think that would provide ample time for you to work us in to her busy schedule." The man was extremely persistent

"We will keep in contact as to an exact date but if you would excuse me, I have orders for Lady Temari."

"Oh yes, yes. You both are dismissed!" Gaara squeezed her shoulder gently as they both turned away to walk out just in time to heard Lady Rie's last words.

"Once we train her properly, she will be of no trouble….no trouble at all…"

Gaara and Temari walked silently back to his office where Kankaru looked like he was biting his nails. "Temari how could you just barge in like that?!"

"Shut up Kankuro." Passing by him without so much as a glance, she sat herself down in the chair on the other side of his desk. "I cannot believe this…"

"Temari…" Gaara cuffed his hands together as he sat at his desk.

"And to think she tried to threaten me with your position being at steak! We can't just let her get away with this!"

"Temari…"

"Yes Gaara?"

"Maybe for now…it is best we go along with this."

"What?!"

"He's right you know. Think of Gaara positi-" Kankuro thought he should be the voice of reason.

"Kankuro my position does not matter. I am willing to step down as Kazekage at a moment's notice if it means you and Temari will be safe." She bit her lip at the thought of him losing everything he worked so hard to attain because of her cast iron will. Temari was completely backed into a corner.

"I won't let them take what is rightfully yours because of me Gaara…." Her eyes narrowed, trying to think of any way she could avoid all of this without scathing him.

"Well I don't see any way out of this. I would say Gaara and I find you a guy before the talks go any further but you don't want to be married in the first place and no guy with a brain is going to up against the Feudal Lord's son." Kankuro crossed his arms.

"He is right. Until we come up with something we just have to lay low and comply." Gaara's eyes were looking straight through Temari as he thought deeply. "I have to keep you busy to try and delay the meeting as much as possible. Which means….you and Kankuro are on filing duty."

"What?!" Kankuro spat out those words along with some drops of saliva.

"We have no choice Kankuro…" Filing duty was a lot more than its name implied. In the next room neighboring Gaara's office was an entire area dedicated to important documents. Not just policies and procedures, mission orders, reports, meeting minutes and anything else that warranted being tucked away for further viewing. How the filing schedule was set up was that once a month every Jounin had to put in a full day's work in the filing office. All of the documents meant to be kept top secret were stored in another location under the watchful eye of the Head Jounin so nothing classified was revealed if one were to take a gander at the papers. It was the most hated task of all jounin and everyone tried their best to escape filing duty but they were quickly caught. Now that Temari and Kankuro had a full time job of doing it, the jounin that were on the schedule were free of this duty until further notice.

"Why do I have to do it when it's Temari that's in this crap hole?!"

"Because Kankuro….if one of us suffers, we all must do our best to end the suffering….even if it means going through some pain ourselves…"

"The pain of a million paper cuts of death…" Kankuro muttered to himself under his breath.

"You both start tomorrow."

…...

Insomnia took her again that night as she sprawled herself out on the couch and a bottle of Nigori grasped rightly between her lazy fingers. As the months passed she found herself consuming more and more alcohol while still being unable to grab hold of the numbness she so desired. The drink had betrayed her, or was it her emotions? Taking another gulp, she was taking in the bitter spirit of truth that her entire situation may not get any better. For once, she hated the honesty that liquor gave her and wouldn't mind the sweetness of a lie even for a moment. She suddenly thought of him again and his fingers wrapped around that little frame that was probably a lot for feminine than her own. She was probably less like his mother too.

"But what does it matter anyway?" Her chuckle was twisted into an oozing disdain for the fact that she even thought of him but that was what an addiction did. When you least expected it, when you thought you had finally escaped it's grasp ,it coils it's tentacles around your nerves and squeezes. Temari was choking on the burn. "_Fuck_….him…._fuck_ this…" Standing up, the room began to spin while her stomach did summersaults. "I'm Temari of the ssszzzand and a fearsome kunoichi. I fffought in the deadliest battle….of our time….and I lived….I survived…" Throwing herself back down in a heap, she sighed. "And yet here I am….losing to my own stuuupid emotions for a..sstuppiidd ninja and this….stupid bottle of Nigori. HA! How fearsome am I…..when I cannot even sttaandd up for my futurree…and my brother…" Placing the bottle back down, she watched the stillness of the night outside of her window and thought of all the possible ways she picture herself giving up being a Kunoichi. There was only onr could only come up with. Death. She had already pledged the rest of her life to be the best there ever was, to serve her bother until the day he died and the carry the banner of her village proudly. Not only would she help regain sustainability for her people but peace throughout the nations. She would gain the respect of men and woman alike and even if it meant dismissing the thought of ever starting a family, finding love or anything along that road, it was worth it. No one could have both she thought, so she had to choose. Yet with all the prospects, here she was, a drunken fool wallowing in her own self-pity.

_Mom would be so proud….._

In a state of pure fatigue, she drank the last of the bottle and passed out on the couch where she lay angry, bitter, confused and alone.

The next morning was a headache. Literally. Opening her eyes to the bright autumn sun nearly sent her on a craze for morphine because her head was moments away from exploding. She hadn't hand a hangover in so long that she forgot how absolutely dreadful it was. Her stomach then suddenly reminded her that it had a lot of catching up to do and she took off to the bathroom before she could ruin her beautiful carpeting. It must have 30 minutes she spent heaving her insides until she was floating between starting to get hungry again and being too disgusted to eat. "Water…." If she could make it to the kitchen that would be the only way of sobering herself up. Work though, was completely out of the question.

"Temari!" Kankuro was pounding on the door and the pain from her head had her begging to pass out again.

_It's 9 am already?..._

"Not….now…Kankuro…."

"Temari? Temari are you drunk? Did you start up drinking again? I thought you said you were gonna lay off the alcohol." Temari was supposed to lay off a lot of other things but that didn't stop her.

"I'm not coming…."

"Well of course you're not…" Kankuro managed to pick the lock and let himself in. "You should get a better lock. Temari….you look a mess." During their conversation, she managed to make it to the kitchen but the fridge was just not within her energy capacity so she leaned herself against the cabinets on the ground. "I haven't seen you this hammered since before the war."

_So it's been about a year already….go figure…_

"You think you can hold down the place without me?..." Temari had to close her eyes because the brightness was just too much.

"What choice do I have? Geez, next time you wanna get all loopy just make sure you don't have to work the next day." Kankauro knew exactly what she needed and poured her a much needed glass of water. "Alright Temari, up and at-em!" Slinging her on his back, he carried her to her bedroom and tucked her in quite comfortably.

"Thanks Kankuro…"

"You know, some stuff is ok to get indulge...like puppet making…but alcohol isn't one of them."

"You should talk….lipstick boy…" Temari subtly reminded him of the time he got completely wasted and convinced everyone that he used Temari's lipstsick for his face paint. The nickname stuck around for months.

"And that's my cue. Get better and I _will_ be seeing you tomorrow."

"Mhm…" Pulling the covers over her head, she enjoyed the shade that calmed her headache just a little. What she really needed was some good rest and time to think of what she needed to do about her current predicament. "I wish I could find a way out of this because the bottom of the nigori bottle isn't giving me jack shit…"

…..

After a day of hibernation, pain killers and water, Temari finally emerged from her apartment feeling a lot more refreshed although her troubles were still looming overhead. Her and Kankuro got a head start on filing and made a pretty decent dent in their allocated pile. As Temari sorted, she came upon rather interesting pieces of policy information, bits of clan history and elder legacies but out of all the elders she found, there was basically nothing on Lady Rie except a birth certificate with something scratched out. Temari found this rather odd but realizing how chop full of papers there were, it would be quiet easy to misplace things in here. She filled it accordingly and kept on going.

Around 2, the duo decided to break for lunch. As they sat on the deck of the Kage building and enjoyed some dumplings, Kankuro decided to use this time to peek into the secret life of his sister.

"So…..are you at least dating someone?"

"No…" Temari looked at him suspiciously.

"Good."

"And why is that?"

"I would hate to have to beat up a guy who never saw it coming." Kankuro had some confidence alright.

"Ha….well you don't have to worry about that. I'll be single forever."

"Unless that old wolf actually wins this tug of war we're having." He saw her frown and quickly tried to make up for it. "but I mean, that probably won't happen…."

"I hope."

"I think we can find a way out."

"Really?"

"Yea! Gaara and I aren't gonna let you go down that easily. Even if we don't have an answer….life has a funny way of working itself out."

"Well life…" Temari's eyes connected with the blue sky. "Any day now would be wonderful."

"You can't rush it Temari."

"Here we go…" Kankuro had random 'prophetic' moments.

"If you'd just _listen_, you'd realize I was giving pretty deep advice! I can be just as wise as Gaara you know!" Kankuro was so flustered that he spilled the rest of his dumplings. "Aw hell!" Sighing to herself, she shoved the rest of the dumplings in his hand.

"Here."

"You're actually sharing your dumplings? This unlike you…"

"I guess I'm in that kind of mood. Take it before I decide otherwise." She didn't have to tell him twice before he emptied it down his barrel mouth.

"You've been in a mood ever since you got here. One minute you're all angry and the next you're drinking and the next you're being all sisterly. Did they poison your hormones in Konoha?"

_You could say that…._

"No…..I guess it's just because I'm going through all this…"

"It's unlike you to get all emotional. You're suppose to be my iron-glad, no nonsense, "I'll kick your ass", "shut up Kankuro", protective big sister. Not some puddle of feelings. It's weird."

"Shut up Kankuro…"

"That's what I like to hear. "

Just then, a slender female Jounin appeared in the doorway that led inside. "Lady Temari!"

Turning around, she wondered who wanted her now. "Your presence is requested by Lady Rie…"

"Hell no."

"and Lord Gaara."

"Ugh…I guess I'll see you inside Kankuro."

"Don't kill anyone." He was busy munching away.

When Temari, escorted by the other jounin, walked into his office, she had an obvious dull look on her face. "What is it?..."

"Lady Temari! Have some manners!" Lady Rie snapped her fan shut.

"I'm here and that's the most polite I'll be."

"No matter, your brother has given me permission to take you for the afternoon."

"Take me? What am I, a dog?"

"Temari…" Gaara's plea was the only reason she complied.

"Fine….where are we going?"

"To some training classes. I'm going to teach you how to act like a lady when you meet the Feudal Lord's son. Heavens knows you need some refining…."

"And you need a good ass kicking…" Temari mumbled.

"What was that?"

"Oh nothing. Let's get on with it."

"We will first start by changing your speech. Your mouth is so foul and your grammar is so slurred that you sound more like a street rat than the daughter of a Kazekage."

_Did she really just call me a street rat?..._

Temari could tell she was in for hell, but even the center of the earth sounded more appealing than this.

…..

These "classes" to Temari seemed like a more formidable form torture than anything the interrogation-nin could foster. She'd rather a mind probe then to sit here and be lectured on how to sit without looking so boastful even she thought her style of sitting, legs crossed and arms clasped was fine. She was also told that her style of dress needed to be more modest and was given acceptable kimono pictures that looked more stifling sealing cloths.

_How can I give up drinking at nights when I have days like this?..._

Temari was pricked and poked, twirled and pulled to try and fix her "most ungraceful" posture but who had time for posture when you had 4 bingo book ninjas all running in your direction. Before she would worry about the arch in her back, she would worry about making it out alive. That wasn't even the worst of it. The way they spoke down to her was also making her feel like they thought she was a beastly deviation of what it was to be a woman. She thought, on the other hand, that being a woman meant being independent, strong, focused, clever and reliable. That's what made a good shinobi as well after all.

"It seems we have used up the entire day and got nowhere…" Lady Rie pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Then I guess I did just fine then. May I please leave? I have training to do."

"Go Lady Temari." Promptly, she rose from her seat behind the small work desk and started for the door. "But that means that you will have twice the work to do tomorrow."

"Oh _no_! I'm not coming back here tomorrow. You said one clas-"

"I made no such promise. I only told you about today. You should not assume anything when it comes to me." Checkmate.

"I'm talking to Gaara about this!" Stomping out the room in a fuss, she made a b-line straight for his office.

"That is fine by me!"

Temari became a raging bull. "Look out! She's coming again!" The same jounin from earlier had saved his friend once more from being turned into a piece of Temari's shoe right before she turned into his office.

"Temari…" Gaara knew exactly why she came barging in again. "Remember…"

"I don't care! This isn't fair at all! Assign me more work, send me away again if you have to but I feel like she's slowly clutching pieces of my freedom and ripping it to shreds."

"No one is going to take anything away but you must give it time." Signing away at a mountain of scrolls on his desk, he hadn't looked up once.

"The only reason why I'll agree is because I don't want her pulling you out of your position."

"And for that I thank you but I will reiterate that I am not worried about my position as Kazekage. I am more worried about you Temari…but there seems to be no other alternative except to lay and wait…"

"This is ridiculous. I'm going for a drink."

"You're starting to drink more than usual…"

"It's from the stress of this woman."

"Is that the only reason?" Temari sensed that Gaara had noticed something she tried her best to cover up.

"Yes." Denial was the best mask for now.

"Alright."

_He handled it a lot better than Kankuro. _

…

While relieving the muscles from today's level 10 tension, she walked into her apartment on empty. Not only was her stomach growling but she felt a lot more drained than usual.

"I'll never drink that much again….for a while." Opening her fridge, she saw it was packed with food that Kankuro must have bought before she returned. That rascal could be very thoughtful at times. Picking through her choices of fresh vegetables, lean meat, dumplings and other favorite foods of hers, she found herself wanting nothing. She was defiantly hungry but for what, she wasn't sure until she heard-

"Saba Miso! Get your fresh steaming plate of Saba Miso!

Looking up into the air with a pleasant smile, it was as if heaven had heard her dilemma. "Thank you."

The seafood shop a little ways down the street had opened up their hot menu just in time for the coming Fall weather. What she loved about it was that they catered very well to the season and was open until very late. She knew that she shouldn't have been eating so late but because of those classes, she had to set her training to a later time. Hopefully none of this would alter her sleep pattern but deep down she knew she would conk out as soon as she was done. "Two servings please." The grin on her face got wider when she saw the cook open up the boiling pot.

"Two Lady Temari? You must have had a very long day!" Old man Mao was the third generation shop owner who got to know Temari when she moved to this side of town. His smile was as comforting as his food and she looked to this man as being someone she would have loved to have as a father. His bright demeanor was infectious.

"You could say that. How are you?"

"Fine, fine! Next week I finally get to have my daughter in the kitchen with me. It's time to train her to take on the family business of quality seafood."

"Congratulations."

"Promise me you'll bring your young ones to support her. Heaven knows she might need it!"

"I can promise you my own support but I don't plan on having any kids. I hope it just being me is enough."

"That is more enough!" Placing the helpings into carry out containers, she insisted on paying him but he waved her off claiming that this one was on the house. Temari planned to come in next week and tip his daughter enough to cover for today but she would never tell him that.

Being back in her apartment with a piping plate of Saba was exactly what she needed to reward herself for her suffering and emotional abuse. To think that she would have to go through it again only made her groan and stuff her face more. "I should get some tomorrow for lunch…." She managed to clean both plates in a snap and in utter satisfaction she then collapsed onto her bed. It was very rare she ate Saba Miso but it surprisingly hit the spot. "It tastes better than I remembered." She recalled, as she laid there in the still of the night, that she meant to hit the bar before going home from work but figured that this was a better ending to her day. Temari knew she could resist when she wanted to. Within minutes, she felt herself beginning to fade into the blackness of slumber but not without the trailing question.

_I wonder what he's doing…_

_._


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13: A Plus**

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times. For three weeks straight Temari had been attending these gut wrenching classes that drover her insane and was given outside work like a stricter diet than she already had. Lady Rie made sure she mentioned that a woman was defined by three things: smile, style and _size. _Claiming that her breasts were too large, her hips to wide and her thighs to thick, she said that her body should be as small as her waist was the moment and that her waist should be half the size it is now. _That_ would basically make Temari out to be nothing but a walking stick. No man had ever complained about her shape before and she never cared too much to notice any of this. Her list of worries was too long and if a man found a problem with her figure then it was his loss. As previously stated though, no man had ever complained. Having done her best to keep from blowing up for Gaara's sake, she wasn't sure how much more she could take of squeezing into corsets and eating 3 square meals of rice.

"I have good news Lady Temari." Lady Rie came gliding into her teaching area

_You're going to drop off a cliff?_

"What?..."

"Once again, your attitude should be more like a rose and less like the sand that whirls outside Lady Temari. Any who, I am most pleased to announce that your date it set to meet the Feudal Lord's son!"

Temari's eyes widened. "What?!"

"Two weeks from this very day you both will have lunch at his home!"

"I'm not going anywhere."

"You will go if you know what's best. To upset the Feudal Lord is to upset the balance of this very land and who knows who might go toppling with it…"

"You snake." Temari snapped.

"I beg your pardon!"

"You heard me quite clearly because I didn't stutter." Slamming her books on the table, she grabbed her tessen and promptly left without so much as a word of warning. There was no point in complaining to Gaara because he probably already knew so she passed his office and went straight outside.

Having no idea where her feet might take her, she stopped worrying about her direction and began brainstorming as to how she could stall time. Also, how to control herself as to not murder that woman within the next few days. "I wish I could pound her into the pit of hell and watch her burn!"

"Lady Temari, you should never want to hurt someone that bad." It was the voice of Old Man Mao who must have heard her shout as she walked by. Feeling very guilty for carrying herself like that in front of a placid old man, she stopped in her tracks and sighed.

"I know…but this is just all too infuriating."

"Step inside of my office." This man must have had a sixth sense because to convince her even further, he purposely opened up a pot of cooked Saba Miso. At this point, she couldn't resist. "It troubles me that you've been so tense lately."

"It troubles _me _that I've been so tense lately. Not to mention, I've been having problems sleeping and my lower back has been killing me."

"It sounds like you need a vacation." He put a plate right in front of her. The fact that her adrenaline began to rush on sight of the food made her wonder if he's been drugging it this whole time.

"I have no time for a vacation. What I really need is a solution…."

"Life already has that worked out! It just takes time for you to get to the point for you to have it."

"You and Kankuro both said the same thing….I guess he has some sense in him after all."

"I would like to meet this kid." Shaking the spoon at her. "But anyway, I do not know what you are dealing with but I know you will find a way out. I have complete faith in you."

"Do you really?" By this time Temari was already a quarter in to the meal and not stopping.

"Yes I do! Wow, Lady Temari. You have been devouring that mackerel for the past few weeks. I think because of you, I will keep this recipe." Giving her a wrinkled smile, he went back to cutting up crab meat.

"I know. I don't usual like this stuff, believe me but I guess my body decided that it was ready for a change."

"Where you're appetite goes, your life follows. That was the motto of my grandfather, my father and now myself. It has been true to this very day."

"Then I guess I'm destined to quit being a shinobi and take up fishing." Temari chuckled to herself at the thought of her braving the fierce ocean waters in unflattering rubber overalls.

"You never know!"

Just when Temari began thinking she would enjoy her food in peace and solitude, she heard a high pitched, upbeat voice call out from behind her.

"Lady Temari!" She looked just in time to see Sari come running across the street with her posse and almost knocking over a soup delivery boy. "Oh my gosh I'm so sorry!"

"He's ok Sari but you're standing in the middle of the street!" Yukata came up and pulled her along with Matsuri close behind them.

"Lady Temari, it's been so long since we've seen you!" Matsuri was the first to approach with a wave

"A ha….yea it has." Temari gave a sheepish smile, hoping that something would distract them so she could sneak off.

"Ew. Are you eating Saba? It smells!" Yukata pinched the tip of her nose and twisted her face.

"It's actually not that bad." Temari took another fork full.

"I suppose." She turned her head away to avoid the unappealing odor.

"Hey we were going shopping. Do ya wanna come?" It wasn't a question waiting for an answer because Sari already had a firm grasp of her arm.

"I'm really not in the mood guys…"

"Aw come on! You rarely spend time with us and with all of this training; we rarely have time to be women!"

"I've always felt like a woman." Temari knew what she went but was hoping to tire her with conversation.

"Oh you knew what I meant! Please Lady Temari?" Sari and the other two gave her the most miserable look and even Old Man Mao couldn't resist giving in.

"Lady Temari, you should hang out with your friends. It might ease your mind."

"Not you too…."

"Thank you Mao-san!" Yukata grabbed her other hand and only gave Temari just enough time to pay her bill before she was dragged off with the giggling group all the way down the street.

"I'm _really_ not in the mood guys…" Temari's face was as long as the street was wide.

"You really don't look well. Have you been getting any sleep?" Matsuri touched her forehead. "If you're sick, tell Lord Gaara that I can come over and take care of you. I'm _sure _he'll appreciate it." There she went working Gaara into the equation.

"I'm not sick…my sleeping rhythm has been thrown off and I guess it's just taking me a while to adjust."

"You should take a weekend and rest…maybe go visit Shikamaru…" Sari's eyes twinkled but Temari didn't share the sparkle.

"Can we not talk about him…." Yukata then elbowed Sari in reproach.

"See what you did Sari!"

"Sorry…" She really did look apologetic.

"It's fine. So….where exactly are we going?" Temari had been forcefully walking arm and arm between Matsuri and Yukata.

"Down town. They opened up a new store and I've been _dying_ to see what was in it. I heard it was imported!" Matsuri began foaming at the mouth from all the things she imagined were inside.

"From where?"

"The Cloud Village! Their clothes are such great quality and such top notch material. Maybe a new wardrobe is exactly what you need Lady Temari." She tugged at the end of her Kimono.

"I like my clothes just fine. It's durable, it covers and it's flexible." Once again, the trivial matters such as fashion only existed in accessories in her world.

"Yea but it lacks style. It lacks glam. It lacks…._sex appeal_…" The words must have tickled Sari's tongue.

"I don't need to expose myself to have sex appeal." She had mastered that jutsu with her eyes closed.

"Ohhh! Lady Temari you're so grown up! I wish I had confidence like you…" Matsuri hung head seeming to think about the one and only Kazekage.

"Being an adult, sex appeal and confidence aren't very well connected. An adult has it's criteria that doesn't include who you're sleeping with, sex appeal is tied to confidence but confidence doesn't need to be sexy." Yukata was mentally taking notes.

"I see….Tell me. What's it like being with a man?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"I mean…." She lowered her eyelids. "What's it like _being_…with a man?"

The question clogged Temari's windpipe and soon had her trying to catch her breath. "Why do you need to know?"

"For when my time comes, duh!"

"Should I be listening to this?" Sari had her ears covered. Partially. "Oh there's the store!" Just up ahead was a small wooden sign jutting out from one of the buildings. Written in a very regal cursive was "Cloud 9" and the image of the sky painted in the background. It looked simple but the sign didn't fool her as to probably how complex it was inside. While the rest of them were squealing with delight, Temari merely groaned at how unprepared she was for this and in all honest just wanted to go home and sleep. There was that fit of drowsiness again. At least it got them off that awkwardly personal subject but it wasn't like she was going to tell them anyway. It was called personal for a reason.

"Lady Temari, we're going to make you into a new woman!" Matsuri's voice was the opening bell for this little adventure into a sea of fabrics. The store was rather quiet. Seeing as how it was brand new, Temari picture it to be hyped up with people but taking a gander at the prices she nearly lost her footing. For this cost, she could hire someone to make clothes for her but it didn't stop the other girls from being knee deep in silk dresses, highly decorated Kimono's and embroidered satin shirts. Each item had it's season but it was rare she would every catch herself in a little black number that dipped so low in the front that she'd probably come spilling out. In the midst of the frenzy, she realized that none of the girls were paying attention and so she found a comfortable chair over in the corner by one of the dressing rooms. Her food was beginning to rub her the right way and she was waiting for the perfect time to excuse herself for an afternoon siesta. Upon walking past a mirror that was pasted to the door of one of the stalls, she couldn't help but stop and give herself the once over.

"I'm not fat….." Turning around slowly as her head tried to lag behind to get a good look, she caught a glimpse of her hips at a tilted angle and sighed. "Maybe I have gained a little weight….Oh come on Temari. You're fine…" With a relinquishing exhale, she realized that Lady Rie's words were starting to get the best of her and she slumped down in her seat.

"Lady Temari what's with the look?" Sari popped out from behind one of the racks with about half a dozen dresses folded over her arm.

"It's nothing really."

"You've been acting really weird today. Are you sure you're ok?"

"Yea, yea I'm fine." Adjusting herself slightly, she realized that her lower back was acting up again. "This chair is horrible."

"You should go home." Yukata emerged from one of the rooms further down in a fitted red number that was hiked up above her knees. "How's this for sex appeal?" After pushing her breasts up so far that they might fuse into her chin, Yukata tried show off her new found sensuality.

"You don't have to dress like that you know?" Temari found thos whole seen a little too much just to try on a dress. "Men are captured by sight….but kept by a number of other things. Putting on a revealing outfit will only carry you so far…"

"Is that what you've learned from shika-"

"Be quiet Yukata!" Matsuri motioned for her to cease and desist. Temari just rolled her eyes.

"Maybe you should go home Lady Temari. We can hang out another day when you feel better." Sari was a savior at that moment.

"Thanks. I think I'll head home." She left rather quickly but tried not to be too obvious that she was really seeking escape this entire time. After a few minutes of walking she felt a little bad for deserting them. They had been nothing but nice to her, visiting her on her days off, always trying to include her in outings, and even though they spoke way too much, their company was always welcomed. They were the closest things to friends she had in the village because she worked so much and no one else understood how important her job was but them. She made a mental note to thank them later by inviting them for tea and secretly hoped she wouldn't kick herself for doing it later. The whole trip home her back was especially sore and that heating pad she thought she'd never use that was under her bed would finally come in handy. "I'm glad I didn't toss it…." Not being too far from her apartment, she was aimless scanning the crowd that was rushing by when she saw something that made her blink furiously. A green flak jacket, hands in his pocket, a lethargic stride and a head of brown hair.

_Shikamaru?..._

She deliberately started to speed up to catch to the figure but still blend in with the crowd behind him. Gently pushing people aside, her heart was trying to set the pace for a sprint in his direction but she fought the urge and remained as calm as possible. "What is he doing here?" Temari didn't want to admit that she was starting to feel a little anxious to see him but with the strong desire to punch the living shit out of him on sight at the same time. The idea made her fingers clench. Working her way up the street, she was within shouting distance when she decided to stretch her arm up to catch his attention.

"Shika…" That's when everything crashed. Turning around to look behind him was the face of a complete stranger. His eyes were shielded with dark circular glasses, a go-tee surrounded his stern mouth and from the back she didn't take time to notice that his ponytail did spike at the top but there was also a long piece that dropped down to his shoulders. Luckily, he didn't notice her bewildered and embarrassed expression and so she quickly stepped back into the sea of unfamiliar faces. The rest of the walk home was quiet and undeniably solemn.

_I'm such an idiot…_

She couldn't believe she had worked herself over someone she so despised, or so she told herself. Although no one saw her, she felt that Shikamaru was sitting somewhere on the building roofs smirking in pride at seeing her fall prey to her feelings. This only replaced her shame with more anger towards him even though he really didn't do anything wrong towards her. This whole time she thought she was dead inside for him but it appeared her emotions were only asleep, waiting to be awoken by some miniscule trigger. Walking into her apartment and shutting the door, she heard the echo pulsating through the walls of her empty flat. A still small voice crept in her ear and reminded her that she was all alone.

"Maybe I just need some sleep…" It was only 2 but Temari honestly felt like that last rush of adrenaline was what soaked up the few drops of energy she had. This was too unlike her and too strange for her to ignore any longer than she had been for the past few weeks. "Maybe I should go see a doctor." Going into her room, she pulled out her brown agenda book and looked to see her plans for the rest of the day. Analyzing the day and the rest of the already full calendar, she realized that someone was wrong.

_Huh?... _

She flipped back a page and counted. Flipped to the current page. Counted. It was still off. This wasn't right at all. Standing up, she began to pace and recollect, figure and count but nothing was adding up. Temari dug deep in her memory as she took out the heating pad and wrapped it around her torso but she frantically began to realize that she couldn't remember for the life of her. "This is not happening." Running into her closet, she desperately clawed and snatched everything in her way from clothes, to shoes to bags and underwear until she reached the very back. Her eyes widened. Her heart stopped. She felt her hands start to shake violently and her knees wilt in on themselves as she witnessed the wave of truth come crashing down on her shoulders. It was funny how things could change in a matter of minutes. How she missed it the entire time was completely beyond her and as meticulous as she was, you would think she would have noticed it weeks ago. Maybe she was seeing things. Maybe she just forgot to record it but the evidence in front of her was too loud to ignore or even deny if she wanted too. There, sitting on a lone shelf, still new and unwrapped was a full package of pads and tampons.

"This cannot be happening…." Flying up from the ground in the dim room, she dashed into her bathroom and opened up her medicine cabinet. The entire contents came spilling out into the sink and she used her almost numb digits to finger through the boxes and containers of pills in search of her birth control. "It's suppose to be here! Where is it?!" All she managed to sift through was pain medications and vitamins but her birth control was nowhere in sight. By now she was nothing but a ball of nerves and her mind was going a mile a minute with rationalizations as to how she was going ballistic for no reason. She ran out to the living room where she placed her tessen against the wall and spotted her bag resting delicately next to it. "It's in there!" Her feet couldn't take her fast enough but when she snatched it, she managed to rip the bag open and empty everything onto the carpet. "Come on! Come on! Where is it?!" She spread everything out in a disorganized array around her but didn't see what she was desperately looking for. "It's here! I know it's here!" This would be the key to quieting her fears because if she could prove that she may have just taken the wrong pill or skipped a few then she could easily pass it as her being thrown off track. How dearly she hoped and prayed that it would be as she imagined because she really didn't have the courage to picture what it would be like if that wasn't the case. Temari plunged back into the sack and grappled around furiously until she felt the tops of her fingers rub against a jagged plastic board in the hidden pocket. Her blood was coursing through her veins to the point where she thought she could hear it. This was the moment of truth. Clutching it tightly in her palms, she painstakingly pulled it out and tried not to look at the pills that were locked in on the other side.

_I couldn't be…I can't be….there's no way…_

When she turned the package around, she broke. She was already three white pills in. "No…" Throwing the birth control against the wall in front of her, she inched back in horror with her mouth covered to prevent herself from screaming. "This can't be happening…." Slamming her back against the couch, it must have been the pain the forced the tears. That's what she would blame it on when she found herself shaking and welling up. Her skin got hot under her eyes as she thought about what was happening to her. Not only was she soon going to be forced to marry a man she never knew but now she may pregnant and with a child she never even wanted. The fear the she felt was something stronger than any battle nerves and she would rather be facing the most fearsome enemy than facing such an unstable future and all alone at that. She started screaming behind her palms and she had to use the other hand to muffle herself even more. Besides the day her mother died, she had never cried this hard before. She had never questioned life so much before. Withstanding the instability, she thought she was strong but it turned out that she as actually the weaker than she wanted to admit. She was prepared for war, she was prepared for loss, she was prepared for struggles and prepared for death but what held her together was that she was that she didn't have to drag anyone else in when she went down. Until this moment, she lived for her own goals and her own dreams but now she came to realize that she would have to put them aside to live for someone else's now. At this point, she had her head between her knees that were pulled to her chest and weeping uncontrollably.

_What do I do?...What the hell am I suppose to do now?..._

There was no voice answering to her in her darkness but the continued stillness of the fall afternoon. She knew that eventually the tears would have to stop but as much as she tried to be in control, this was one thing that was out of her hands. So, for the rest of the day she sobbed in her apartment and allowed her emotions to take her.

…..

Waking up, in the same position that night, she must have been so tired that she fell asleep amidst her anguish. Everything was still quiet and nothing had changed.

"I guess I should go take a test…" That way, she could have absolute certainty but the problem was how to get one without anyone noticing. This was her village so there were no places she could go where no one knew her face. She had to find a way to disguise herself long enough to go out to the pharmacy. Clearing some left over tears on her cheeks, she slowly rose up on her hands and walked towards the bathroom. She washed her face and freshened herself up before catching herself in the mirror. Temari looked more than worn out. The whites of her eyes were blood shot and her face was puffy yet droopy from the hours she spent lamenting since that afternoon. She had no primary concern for her looks though because there was an even bigger issue at hand. "I'll just have to cover up as much as possible…." Slumping away to her room, she pulled out a pair of baggy black pants, a long sleeve shirt and a green scarf she would use to cover her face. "I guess that will have to do." She was very close to just giving up on covering up because people would find out eventually but then she remembered how this all could come down on Gaara and to protect him, she pulled the scarf further down in her face.

"Congratulations!" The bright young strawberry blonde at the counter looked absolutely delighted when she saw Temari place the test on the table. "I'm sure you and your lover are very excited!"

_My lover….._

She had none and was trying not to think about how she would tell that certain someone, if she chose to tell him at all. "Um…."

"That's ok to be a little nervous! I'm trying to get pregnant too and I'm terrified." The girl looked about her age but in a completely different world.

"Yea…it's frightening…."

"Well, here you go! I hope it's a plus! Have a good night miss!" At least the woman had no idea who she was so in that regard, she was safe.

That night she took the back allies, dark passages and suspect streets to get back to her apartment. No one bothered her and she didn't expect anyone too. She was on edge anyway and she couldn't put it past her that she would handle anyone who crossed her path. Sneaking around was not her thing and so every time someone made eye contact with her, she would freeze and swear they saw her face. After making it back to her place, a weight that she carried on her chest lifted and now she prepared for more to be piled back on. She ripped the box open as soon as she closed the door and fumbled through the paper directions.

"Urinate on stick for 5 seconds. Place on flat surface and wait 5 minutes. Plus sign equals pregnant, minus sign equals not pregnant." It was simple enough but Temari read that if she messed up then the results would be inaccurate. Good for her that the package came with two. She walked into her bathroom to close the door behind her and begin this process that was more worrisome than anything she had ever experienced.

"I guess I should wait now…" Placing the stick down on the counter, she walked out of the bathroom and shut the door. She needed a moment to think and force herself not to look at the results right away. With her body leaned against the door, she started to imagine how she would break the news to everyone if indeed she was pregnant. Kankuro would probably explode into a fit of swearing and scolding, Baki would probably question if she was sure she wanted to keep it seeing as how high the price would be, Gaara might not even look at her for a while and Shikamaru? He probably wouldn't care. Temari was certain it was his but in the back of his mind he would probably doubt her because he knew her history. She imagined her confession would go something like where she would come to him quietly and explain what it was and he would merely tell her it would all be "too much trouble" that he didn't want to deal with it. The thought made her ashamed and livid. "I'm just not going to tell him…I'd rather this baby not know its father than know all its life that it was rejected…." She survived just fine without her father and so did others so she didn't think it would be missing anything. Looking at the clock on her wall, it had already been four minutes and her body was getting restless again. "Why did this have to happen to me?..." Looking over at her tessen, she knew that soon she wouldn't have the strength to carry it anymore and it would collect dust in replace of a baby carrier she would have to wear on her back. Her eyes looked on and she started to mentally say her goodbyes and apologize for being such an unworthy yielder although it served her well. Maybe she would give it back to Master Tensen and tell him to find someone more honorable for it's master. There went a piece of her already. Looking back up at the clock, the minute arrived and she cracked the door open as if something was going to leap out. Her breathing became shallow and quick while she suffered a mini panic attack when she got closer to the stick on the counter. "Please tell me I'm wrong….I wasn't meant to be a mom. I really don't even know where to start with this stuff." Would her prayers be answered? Would the heavens hear her? Only the test would tell and when she crept up on it, the answer was as clear as a brightly lit room.

A Plus.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14: Onward**

Temari had been tracing an imaginary pattern in the floor in front of her door for the past 10 minutes. It had seemed that because of the frenzy that had been happening lately, they forgot about Temari's welcome back dinner that they had put off for about a month. It had only been two days since she was found out she was pregnant and was nowhere near ready to open up that can of worms to her brothers. It wasn't the sickness from the baby that had her moments away from puking but the anticipation that she would spill the beans on accident or on purpose. Gaara had a way of making people open up.

"Just stay calm….stay calm and remember that the longer no one knows, the more time you have to think…..that's it…" When Kankuro came knocking she almost jumped out of her skin.

"Temari! Answer the door! I don't think I can hold this pot anymore!" By special request just days before, she asked him to make a pot of Saba Miso as his contribution to dinner. Gaara tried to insist that he just bring drinks upon remembering the disaster of Gaara's favorite gizzard recipe.

"Oh. Coming." The smell whipped her as she got closer to the door. It would be nowhere near as good as Old Man Mao but it would have to do. Upon realizing her pregnancy, she made the connection that it was in fact the baby that must have been craving this odd mackerel dish.

"Geez! Did you have to request something that smells like this?!" His face turned away as he walking in and slammed the pot onto the dining room table.

"Heh…sorry…" Temari really didn't know what else to say. "Where's Gaara?"

"Hm. He should have been right behind me. We bumped into each other on our way here."

"Kankuro…" A husky voice drifted in through the doorway holding a covered plate. "I do not understand your obsession with these…steak burgers…." He closed the door with a slither of sand that came from the gourd on his back.

"I blame my friends for that….it was Dari who made me my first batch in the academy and I was hooked ever since." Kankuro's face suddenly got serious. "I regret nothing."

Temari quickly organized the table, trying to get dinner started as quickly as she could. The faster they ate, the faster they left and the faster she could control her nerves which were firing at an alarming rate.

"Oh! Guess what your little bro got you Temari?" Pulling it out from under his jacket, it was a full bottle of Nigori.

"Ah….Nigori…..thanks…" She tried to act as natural as possible when she took the bottle and gave him a forced grin. This in turn created another problem because she couldn't drink anymore. She had hoped her previous drunken encounter didn't hurt the baby and spent the night tossing in guilt. Trying to place the alcohol in a hidden area so everyone would forget deemed unfruitful for Kankuro quickly snatched it out of her hand and put it in the center of the table.

"Tonight, we drink!"

"I don't drink." Gaara disappeared into the kitchen.

"Aw come in Gaara! You're with us so you don't have to act all reserved. Live a little my little brother!" Kankuro was the first to pop it open and serve himself.

"Maybe we should lay off the drinking tonight….Gaara might feel left out." It was a crappy excuse but she had to go with it.

"It's fine Temari. You two should not put off your fun because of me." Emerging from the kitchen, Temari had to try her best not to snicker. Looking as serious and astute as ever was Gaara in a red frilled apron he must have found in her drawer of kitchen supplies. Kankuro's eye was twitching next to her.

"You know you don't have to wear that Gaara…" That was actually a plea from his older brother.

"I do not want to mess up my clothes…" In his left hand was a serving spoon and in his right hand an oven mitt.

"Shut up Kankuro." Still trying to hold in the laughter, she slapped him promptly in the cut. "Ignore him Gaara."

"Thank you." They all proceeded to sit around the table that was set for three after Temari lit the candle in the center. The lights around them were dim enough to allow the flames to illuminate the small glass arrangement. Looking at both of them, she found herself being very thankful of what her life gave her despite this awful present predicament. Dinner with her brothers was one of things that made her pick up the pace on her way home and really welcome her back.

"Itadakimasu!" The three said in unison, before digging in to each other's food. Temari's food, two dishes of rice and salted tongue, were the first thing on Gaara's plate while Kankuro slapped a hamburger on the side.

"You can't knock it before you try it Gaara!" Kankuro gave him an encouraging smile.

"Then you must try this salted tongue..." Gaara's retaliation of sliding some onto his plate proved effective and his older brother shrunk away.

"I feel like it's talking to me…"

"Oh you two! Just eat!" Temari's plate was piled high with the mackerel to the point where some was centimeters away from spilling over the side.

"You're eating a lot Temari." Gaara's comment made her swallow her food too fast and almost choke.

"Um….yea. Training has taken the best of me and that diet that crazy old hag has me on isn't helping either." Good save.

"Don't worry! We won't tell her!" To her left, she felt like Kankuro was about to fuse his face with the plate. He always ate like a pig. Looking at her empty glass, he realized that she hadn't touched the Sake. "Hey Temari! You must have forgotten what I brought to drink! Here ya go!" Her eyes widened as she watched him fill it all the way to the top and shove it in her hand. "Bottoms up!"

_What do I do?! _

"Thanks…" Her body decided to step in and save her with a sudden urgency to go to the bathroom. Subtly holding onto her glass, she excused herself and ran straight for the toilet. "Good save…." After she did her business, she took the wine and poured it down the sink, leaving just a little left so it wouldn't look to suspicious.

She came out just in time to hear the tail end of a very strange conversation. "I do not understand…why would she put a small glass of Sake there?"

_What on earth is Kankuro telling him?…._

"Ahh little brother. I have so much to teach you about girls at basement parties and so little time…" He was facepalming.

"What are you talking about Kankuro?..." With her hands on her hips, she knew it probably one of those stories of his wild nights with his academy buddies. _He_ may have been tainted but she was not going to allow him to taint Gaara as well.

"Uh nothing Temari!"

"Will you explain this to me Temari-"

"SOOO GAARA! How about that salted tongue?!" Kankuro made it a point to yell a cover and give him the hush-hush eyes.

"It's wonderful….thank you Temari. I can imagine mother must have cooked like this."

"Mom was a great cook. Although I don't remember much, I do remember being really excited about her dumplings. Uncle Yashamaru told me that before I had teeth she use to make them really soft and mash them up for my dinner." From the stories she heard about her and the small memories, she truly saw how much of a big heart her mother had.

"I think I would have liked that."

"I think you would have too Gaara. Mom would have probably gone out of her way and made our favorite foods for each of us…she was that type of woman." The more she spoke about her, the more Temari saw herself falling short in her future motherhood. Gaara must have seen the gloomy look on her face.

"You are like her…."

"Oh no. I'm nothing like her. I think a lot of her traits skipped me."

"I think Gaara is right. I mean, you basically raised us so you had to be something similar. " Kankuro must have seen it too. He looked back down for a moment before glancing in her direction again. "Temari, are you ok?"

She must have not noticed her eyes get glossy." Oh yea. Yea I'm fine." Quickly, she wiped away a tear that almost manifested. This baby had her in a ball of rollercoaster feelings.

"Are you crying about mother?" Gaara had stopped eating.

"No…no I'm not crying about her. I'm not crying at all. I'm fine." She bit back at the rest of the salty drops that were forming and tried to console herself with a lie. There was more to her tears than her mother. It was the beckoning of the secret she was keeping.

"Look, we didn't mean to upset you." Kankuro's tone went down a few notches. Looking again at them both tore her apart inside and lying to them was probably one of the hardest things she's done. The two people she was completely honest with were sitting right in front of her and believing her cover up because they didn't know any better. They had no idea and as much as it was right, it was equally wrong. To share her secret though, would be to also share in her fear and her suffering. It would be placing another burden on them when they both had their own crosses to bear but it was hard because she had no one else. She was so withdrawn in her internal battle that she didn't notice again that she was crying at the dinner table.

"Temari…" Gaara broke her out.

She sniffled and wiped her cheeks. "Sorry everyone…" Not once had she ever been embarrassed in front of them until now. Temari honestly just wanted to shrink away into her room in the darkness and close the door on the world. Suddenly, she felt something soft on the top of her hand.

"Whatever you are going through Temari…you can share it with us." With the most sincere look, Gaara had placed his hand on top of hers.

"Yea. I take that back about you being my iron-clad, no-nonsense, "I'll kick your ass", "shut up Kankuro", protective big sister. You can be just…well, Temari." Kankuro gave that confident smile that reminded her of a certain someone. The fact that her brothers were being this way finally broke her resolve and she decided to tell them at whatever the cost. Anything was better than lying to people who trusted her. Without saying a word, she pulled her seat back from the table and went into her room where she kept the test in a brown paper bag under her mattress. She was slow to remove it and ever slower to look at her reality again. She thought she had their reactions figured out and braced herself for the moment of impact but she was ready to be free of this guilt. Taking it out, she held it rightly between her hands behind her back and finally emerged, still partially hidden by the shadows.

"What is it Temari?" Gaara was clearly worried about her peculiar actions.

Playing the moment out in her head meant nothing because she was still nowhere near prepared for what was about to come.

"What's going on?" Kankuro was also on the edge of his seat.

Cautiously, like a frightened child she walked over to the glass table. Standing in front like a block of ice, she began to want to go back into her room and pretend this whole thing never happened but she knew they would find out somehow. It was better they heard it from her. Creeping out behind her back, she placed her hands on the table next to her place and held it there for a moment. Her last breath must have been a prayer for she felt her hands begin to warm as she opened it out. Here it went.

"Temari?..." Kankuro sounded as if he was just stabbed with a blade right through his heart. "What…." His found made her spirit break again and in a burst of mixed emotions she began to cry.

"Kankuro….what is this?" That's right. Gaara had no idea.

"Gaara it's…..this is…..Gaara…Temari is…pregnant."

She couldn't even look at them anymore she casted her gaze up at the ceiling in hopes that the sky would open up and suck her in.

"Are you pregnant Temari?" His husky voice sounded confused. Innocently confused. It hurt to listen too.

"Who did this to you?!" She heard a crash and saw that Kankuro had flipped the entire table over. Temari said nothing. "Tell me!"

"Kankuro…" Gaara must have been even more shocked.

"Tell me right now Temari!" His reaction was just as she pictured it but then why wasn't she able to handle it? Grabbing her by her wrist, he spun her around and shook her.

"Kankuro…"

Looking dead in his eyes she saw the horror behind his pupils and the blind rage in his expression. "Don't just stand there Temari! Tell me who the bastard is!" He was shaking her again and all it did was bring on a headache so powerful she thought she was going to black out.

"Kankuro!" Suddenly, a burst of sand came in between them and threw him against the wall.

"Gaara don't do that!" She pleaded but was already done.

"I bet it's that two bit fuck bastard Shikamaru isn't it! I'm gonna kill him with my own bare hands!"

"Kankuro you must calm down!" Hearing Gaara yell only magnified how serious the situation was.

"I'll murder him! I swear I'll murder him!" There was no stopping him at this point and once Gaara saw him get up, he quickly went into defense mode to try and restrain his raging older brother.

"Desert Chains." Shooting out from his gourd were clumps of sand arranged in links that made two separate chains to wrap around a squirming Kankuro.

"Let go of me Gaara!"

"Not until I know you will calm down…" Gaara's held his hand steadily like he was holding onto a miniature size of Kankuro.

"Gaara you don't have to do this!" This brought her back to the days of when Gaara was in his dark delusion and he would at times attack them unnecessarily.

"Yes I do because I need to make sure he will not do something he will regret…"

"Just let me go Gaara!"

"He's not going to do anything Gaara but you can't hold him like that!" Placing her hands on his arms, she tried her best to sway him. Everything was her fault so why should they get all worked up at each other. Gaara held strong for a moment longer before retracting the sand back into his gourd. Kankuro fell to the ground in a pile of broke dishes, shattered glass and spilled food. Everything was going wrong. Everything. Just when she thought that things would settle down, she saw him get up off the ground and on one swoop he went out the door but not before throwing the one unbroken plate against her wall.

"Kankuro wait!" Temari was determined to go after him because she realized Gaara could be right.

"Temari….leave him." They both watched him stomp down the hallway and disappear down the flight of stairs at the end.

"We need to foll-"

"No….he will be fine. " His words were soothing but she couldn't believe it because she had never seen him so angry before. There was nothing she could do for him right now because whatever he was going through he had to do on his own. Partially shell shocked, she sat down on her couch with her head in her hands. It wasn't but a few moments after did she feel a sink in the spot next to her.

"You don't have to stay Gaara. I'll be fine."

"Temari…"

"Yea?" She was half expecting him to disown her and walk out calmly but his question surprised her.

"Have you seen a doctor?"

"No….I can't go to a doctor. Everyone knows who I am."

"You're right….." Silence. "How long have you known?"

"I don't know. Two days now?"

"Did you….think you could do this alone?"

"I don't know. I don't know of a lot of things right now Gaara."

"No one else knows do they?..."

"Other than you and Kankuro? No…Don't worry, I'm not gonna tell anyone anyway. I know how badly that would look being your sister and all. Pregnant and alone."

"When will you tell him?" Did Gaara know who the father was already?

"Tell who?"

"Shikamaru." She looked into his eyes and saw nothing but a quiet concern. It was something she couldn't understand. Here she was wreaking havoc in his village and causing all sorts of problems to erupt and still all he could think about was looking out for her.

"No." That idea had already come and gone.

"I think….I think you should go to him…."

…

Kankuro never came back that night and Temari and Gaara spent the rest of the time picking up smashed glass and spilled food. Gaara even went so far as to help her scrub her floors and joked saying that this could have been his clothes had he not worn the apron. She couldn't help but laugh and it made him smile. He asked about how she was handling it, what her plans were. He watched her fall into a heap and cry again and in the next moment pretend everything was ok. She shared with him more stories of their mother and he listened with inaudible curiosity. The night they spent picking up the broken pieces was something she would never forget because she felt she truly got to know more about her little brother even though he barely said a word sometimes. They ended the night with chocolate ice cream that he had brought for desert and he ended up falling asleep on a blanket in the middle of her living room.

"Mom would be so proud of you Gaara…" When she covered him she remembered the little boy years ago who was always afraid to go to sleep.

_Things really have changed….._

The next day she called in sick from work and that was no lie because she literally woke up vomiting in the trashcan near her bed. "You've got to be kidding me." The after taste only made it worse and pretty much all morning was dash between wherever she was and the bathroom. Since she wasn't feeling to well to train that day so she decided to put it off until that night and spend the day catching up on paperwork Gaara had sent to her apartment. It seemed like every day one of the councilmembers would write up a new statement on foreign relations that she had to review. Once she deemed it necessary, it would be sent to Gaara for the councilmembers to vote on before it because effective. As a measure to prevent her from using favoritism, the council could skip her part all together and go straight for Gaara but the majority of them liked the way she handled it so it was rare they ever did that.

"You would think these people would take a break so I could at least catch up." Noticing the mess that it made, she decided to take some time to organize it all so her room wouldn't look like a storm of documents. They were all equally important and all could be put into one category so she was stuck as to how to place them until she remembered how Shikamaru did it back in Konoha. It was very effective and once she put them in order of due date, she found her job a little less stressful.

_He should quit being a jounin and just travel the country organizing people's lives…_

There she went thinking about him again and so her mood took a dive off a high cliff. She started thinking about Gaara's question as to if she should even bother to mention it. The needed was not her desire to be with him, because the relationship they had worked just fine, it was her concern for if he wanted to be an active father or not. Being only 18, there was only so much a guy would think about when it came to fatherhood and it was probably all "such a drag". It would only be natural for him to turn her away so was it even worth the try?

"I don't need him anyway. I am capable of doing things on my own. That idiot probably wouldn't even know how to change a diaper…." She pictured him barely fastening it onto the baby because it took too much work to do it tightly and the whole thing come toppling off. "Yea….that's what it would be like…" Looking down at her stomach through her white t shirt, she began to wonder what it would look like. "I hope it doesn't have his dull expression…." When she first met Shikamaru at the Chunin exams, she had a hard time taking him seriously with his lazy eyes and crumpled mouth. At that age she didn't see him as good looking but only a dim looking slug that was getting in her way of becoming a chunin. Back then she had a fire hotter than any fire style jutusu and she wished she still had that spark. Was she getting old or was life just getting harder? Maybe it was a combination of both. Spending all of this time on him was taking away from her work and not to mention, getting her depressed so she dove head on into her task at hand. An hour later, she heard a knock at her door.

"Who is it?"

"Gaara." When she opened the door, she saw him holding a little pink thermos with red hearts on it. Although Gaara had good intentions, she wanted to laugh at how he carried it out. "Matsuri said you would like this." He walked inside.

"You were with Matsuri?" That was a shock.

"Yes. She saw me in the shop and helped me buy this. I made tea with mint."

"Thanks." They both went and sat down on her couch.

"I read it will calm your stomach from morning sickness."

"Well you're a little late for that. I was puking this morning but I feel a little better."

"Oh." Although he didn't look it, she sensed she rained on his parade.

"But I know I'll feel sick later so I'll just drink this now." It wasn't that bad actually. "Have you seen Kankuro?"

"No. I am sure he is alright though. He can be emotional but he is not a fool."

"I hope so…" It hurt to know he could be anywhere by now.

"Temari….I came to talk to you."

"About what?"

"About Shikamaru…"

"Gaara-"

"You need to tell him." Gaara was now the voice of reason.

"I don't want to tell him. If I know Shikamaru, he probably wouldn't care….plus I think he's with someone…"

"That does not matter. Temari that is his child."

She hated to admit it. "I know but Gaara what sense does it if he'll just shut the door in my face….I don't plan on going back to Konoha so no one over there will know."

"Once you give birth….the word will spread and he will find out." She hadn't taken that into consideration. "He may hold malcontent for you for not telling him whether he chooses to accept the child or not."

"Then I'd rather it be that way. That way I could stand up to him and tell him I can make it on my own…"

"This is not about you anymore….You cannot let your pride be the reason your child will be fatherless Temari." That was the words of someone who was looking deep inside of her. She thought this whole time she was rationalizing it surrounding her baby but Gaara was right. It was still all about her and her independent ego.

"You're right Gaara…..your so right. I shouldn't be afraid to do what's best for my child even if it means my ego would be crushed. I guess I've lived to long only thinking about what would happen to me instead of other people. There's no way I'll be afraid of him and so I guess….I guess I'll go to Konoha then…" As confident as she sounded, the thought made her shutter.

"Good. On your way you should stop in a small village and find a doctor."

"Yea….I guess I have to take a different route so no one will recognize me…." With a sigh, she thought of her long journey and what trials and tribulations it would bring. "But wait….what about-"

"I took care of the Feudal Lord for now…"

"Huh? What did you do?"

"I sent him and his family on an all-expense-paid vacation…"

"Gaara?"

"You get more bees with honey than with vinegar….so I decided to get honey and throw it by the beach." He gave a mischievous smile that only counteracted the pink thermos cup he was drinking his tea out of her. Gaara was crafty. She had to give him that.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15: Her future**

"Alright."

Today was the day she forced herself to make the journey to Konoha. Having put it off so many times that Gaara had to step in and actually send her away, she finally had to face the music. A sad, painful and anxious ballad. Not to mention, Kankuro hadn't said a word to Temari or Gaara since the incident at her apartment. No matter how hard she would try to start a conversation, he would simple ignore her and continue with his work. She tried her best for a while but with no results she simply said screw it and hoped that Kankuro would get over it on his own. After all, he wasn't the one who was pregnant so it shouldn't have been so difficult. Gaara had mapped out a new route for her to take which would add on an extra day but would allow her to see a doctor in the small village. She would put on the same disguise she had the night she went to the pharmacy and hope that they wouldn't look too much into it. She tied her headband securely around her forehead and strapped her tessen to her back. When she realized that soon she would be too weak to carry it, ever moment she spent training was a little more meaningful. Since it was the end of October, Konoha's temperature had probably dropped dramatically since she was there so she wrapped a black clock around her. Before she left, she took one last look in her mirror.

"Here goes…."

Then, she set out on her 4 day journey with a heart filled with questions that her head tried to answer. The first stop was through the small village where she met Kaito and was where she would sleep for the night.

"Room for one please." It wasn't the hostess that night who greeted her at the counter but her granddaughter who was training to run the hotel.

"Oh miss! I think you have a letter here. A strange man said I should give it to a blonde woman with spiked ponytails and forest eyes….I hope he meant you."

In an instant, she knew who it was from and smirked a little as she was handed the letter. "Thanks."

"Here's your key. Room 10. Oyasuminasai!"

"Oyasuminasi." She held the parchment tightly and went into her room to read it in private. Temari didn't want to admit it but she was a little curious.

Dear Ms. Whoever You Are

How are you? I don't know when you'll be reading this but I guess I just wanted to say thank you. The night with you was the best night I've had in a long time. I'm sorry about….you know. I hope to meet you again one day so please write back to me when you get this-

_He shouldn't sound so desperate._

It made her smirk wider though.

But if not then I understand. Good luck with that other guy. I'm sure he must be pretty special.

Kaito

The last part brought her back down again. After setting herself up for bed, she decided to write back to him just for the fun of it. What could it hurt?

Kaito

You shouldn't sound so needy when you write a woman a letter you know. Things are fine with me. My life is getting a little busier so I barely have time to do much anymore. Also, I don't know what guy you're talking about. There's no one. I hope you're doing ok.

Ms. W

She had to stop herself from signing her name or that would have added to the shit storm. Tomorrow she would leave it on the counter before she pulled out at the crack of dawn. Putting her head down on her pillow, she began to imagine her life months from now and what exactly she'd be doing. She pictured herself in Suna (Hopefully) in her apartment. Bottles would be everywhere, the smell of dirty diapers and baby shampoo would lull in the air of dusty baby powder. The thought made her shrivel her nose. She would probably be a zombie who was controlled by the sound of endless crying and fussing in between a burp or two.

_That baby will probably be a whiner just like him…tsk…_

She turned to her side with a narrowed brow and curled up under the warmth of the blanket. Then she realized that she would probably have to move because there was no room for her and the baby once it reached an age where it could sleep alone. Another sacrifice. Decorating, building, moving, buying, her list went on and on of everything she had to do and no matter how hard she tried there was no room for training or work. It seemed like the more she took in, the more she had to let go and the more she realized that she wouldn't be Temari anymore. She'd be "Okaasan". Her brow loosened up to an overwhelmed expression. It would be one thing to have to take on such a demanding role but it would be another thing to do it all by herself. At times she saw it as a blessing not to have to deal with a man hanging on her but now she also saw it as a curse. "Whatever happens, I guess I'll always have me to rely on…" That was the last thought before she found herself up the next morning.

The next leg of the trip took her completely east of her usual route and had her walking through a bright patch of rolling green hills and sparse trees that stood majestically in the midst of fall colors. The town was quaint and ordinary but it was so full of life. Maybe it was because of the children running everywhere. Women were putting up daily laundry and the men were laboring on the fields by the small houses. Though they looked hard at work, everyone seemed content and happy with themselves and they smiled as she walked by. No one recognized her either so that was also a plus.

_It's kinda nice here…_

Passing a woman who was pulling herbs in front of her door, she knew this was the town where Gaara told her to look for a doctor.

"Um, excuse me." Temari probably looked rather formidable standing there with her Tessen and headband but the woman greeted her like she was an ordinary villager.

"Oh hello dear!" The lady looked in her thirties, no greys in her strawberry blonde hair but you could see her smile was mature. "How can I help you? I'm sorry I look such a mess."

"It's alright. I was wondering…..where the village doctor was located…"

"You mean Dr. Mai? She's actually right up the road in that hut with the white horse tied to it. Are you ok dear?"

Temari tensed up. "Oh I'm just feeling a little sick from traveling…that's all."

"Well she'll fix you right up then! I'm sure she's in now but you'd better hurry before she leaves for lunch!" The woman wrapped her sweater around her tighter.

"Oh ok. Um…thanks…."

"You're welcome and feel better! If you need a place to stay tonight, feel free to come back to my house. My name is Aaya."

"Thank you Aaya-san. I'll keep that in mind." Temari rushed off before the woman would ask for her name or any other personal information. The people here were so friendly. It was a difference from some of the folks in Suna who thought they were big shots because they were shinobi or high ranking officials.

The doctor wasn't that far up the road and the closer she got the more she smelled the brewing of herbs and the stench of what seemed like manure.

"There's no way that can be sanitary." The house was no only a few feet away when Temari began to slow down. Then she stopped. It must have been fear that bounded her feet together but she couldn't bring herself to walk inside of the house of the woman who was humming a charming tune. It echoed out the window. Why should she bring this stranger into such a twisted circumstance? What if someone found out she was here? What if the doctor betrayed her? Although she would go in with a disguise, she still felt uneasy about exposing herself to someone she had to make a quick judgment about. As she stood there just a few feet off she made the conscious decision not to see a doctor here. She'd find her own way to solve this problem and the more time she spent dallying, she longer it would take to get to Konoha. Her mind was set and she turned on her heels in the opposite direction.

"Did you see the doctor?" Aaya was standing by the gate when she saw her come back up the road.

"She was….out to lunch."

"Aw I'm sorry! I know the next village has one."

"Yea I'll just try there thanks." Aaya waved and Temari gave her a small smile and quickened her pace out the village. As she looked back at it from a distance with the children still running to and fro across the hills, she saw a glimpse of her child in their smiling faces.

_Maybe it won't be as bad as I imagined….they all look so happy…._

…

She was a day away from Konoha and taking a scenic route through a colorful forest when she spied something odd in the middle of the road. There was a small child crouched down in a ball, crying with his head in his hands. He looked no more than 7 due to his stature and his head was full of honey brown strands that was cut in a bowl style around his head. The first person she thought of was that over-zealous, taijutsu shinobi Lee. If this was anything like him then she decided she'd rather walk through the forest but she couldn't just leave him mopping on his own. With a slight frown, she approached him.

"Hey." Startled, he wiped his green eyes and looked up her from the ground. "What are you doing here by yourself? This place can be dangerous for a kid."

"I'm lost and I can't find my way home."

She was slightly relieved that she stopped. "What village are you from?"

"The Village in The Forest. We live in a clearing in the middle of these woods. I was chasing a rabbit when I found myself in a part I didn't know. I started walking and-"

_Here we go…_

"I can't find my way back and I miss my mommy!" The little boy started to cry again but this time it was louder a lot more annoying.

"Look….come on….stop….stop….stop crying!" Bending down to his eye level, she pulled out a small cloth drawstring purse where she kept her money, small items and some tissue. The little boy must have seen the contents inside while she was opening it because just when she let her guard down, he snatched it and took off down the road. "Hey! Get back here you brat!" Temari could have easily just blown the boy on his feet but he probably would have gotten hurt from her Tessen so she chased him on foot. He was a fast little guy because he began to speed up the point where she saw that her method was no longer working.

_Ok I'm done playing games!_

Leaping into the trees, she launched from branch to branch beside him until she made a finally jump right in his path and he slammed right into her. She grabbed him by the collar of his brown t-shirt as he wriggled and squirmed in protest.

"Let go of me you old lady!"

"Old lady?! I should teach you a lesson right here…" Temari promptly turned him upside down and shook the purse right out of his pockets along with some money, a pair of earrings, a gold mirror, jade beads and a silk scarf. "You little thief!"

"Let go or I'll hurt you!" This little boy had guts that's for sure so she dropped him. "Ouch!"

Before he could fix himself, she snatched her purse and the other obviously stolen items. "Where the hell are you're parents?!" She grabbed him by the sleeve tightly.

"I'm not telling! You better let me go because if I scream they'll think you're trying to hurt me!"

Temari got nose to nose with him. "Scream….but it'll take a few minutes for them to find you so in the mean time-" Her threat was interrupted by a high pitched yell that echoed over the tops of the trees and scared away the local birds. Her hands gripped tighter as she dragged him down the road, trying to look for his village between the trees.

_If this kid doesn't shut up!_

Suddenly, she heard a voice from within the forest beside her. "RIkiya!? RIkiya is that you?!" For some reason, the boy went quiet and cupped his hands over his mouth. Temari smiled in satisfaction.

"He's over here!"

"Oh thank goodness!" A woman in a long green dress, brown jacket and grey apron stepped out of the forest. Her hair was tied in a simple bun but she had the bowl cut bangs similar to the boy. It was quite clear by the resemblance that this was his mother. When she saw him, her worried expression changed to a fearsome anger that made even Temari stand straight up. "Rikiya you bad boy!" Temari released him just in time for his mother to snatch him by the arm. "Just wait until your father comes home!" It wasn't long before little Rikiya was turning on the waterworks.

"Please mother, don't tell father!"

"Oh I'll tell him alright and he's home right now!" The enraged woman turned to Temari who was watching this whole scene in surprise, half expecting the woman to lash out at her. "I hope my son didn't cause you any trouble. Gomenasai!"

"Well….he did try to steal my purse…" She realized this probably wasn't the first time.

"He what?!" There was a burn in her eyes that seemed to only be matched by the pit of hell. "Rikiya you better be prepared to spend a month inside!"

"Mother that's so unfair!"

"You might also want to return these to their owners." Temari placed the precious items in the woman's free hand.

"The next 2 months!" The scream was louder than his crying. "I'm so sorry miss! I don't have anything to give you in recompense for my foolish son but would you like to come to my home? I just made fresh bread! I know you shinobi travel far and I'm sure you're probably very hungry."

"Oh no. I'm fine. I had just better be going but thanks anyway. Just make sure you watch him because I'm sure other people wouldn't be so forgiving."

"I know. I'll have him on a tight leash. I can promise you that!"

Temari gave a small nod. "Rikiya you'd better listen to your mother….you'll grow to thank her one day."

"No I won't! I just wanna go outside again!" The boy was kicking and waving his arms.

"You respect the pretty shinobi when she's speaking to you!" The woman was probably moments away from slapping his squirming behind.

_Pretty?..._

On her cheeks, Temari could feel herself blushing slightly at the compliment.

"Your mother must be so proud. You have a nice journey now ma'am!" The woman smiled at her and yanked her son who was still throwing and tantrum into the forest.

"Maybe she is proud….maybe…" Heading back on her journey, she began to wonder how that mother put up with such a horrible child and all the hell he probably put her through. The amount of times she's had to apologize and grovel and people's feet were probably to many to count. She knew kids were brats from her encounters with some of them and most notably a young, hot headed Konoha chunin with a certain blue scarf. "Damn I hope my kid's not that bad…."

After a few more hours of what seemed like an endless trail, she had finally made it to the last village before Konoha and just in time for sundown as well. The weather had gotten much colder over the past few days alone and Temari shivered as she walked. Not only was she extremely hungry and uncomfortably cold but her craving were acting up. "My stomach is bat shit crazy…..I'm nowhere near any place with saba miso and I won't be until tomorrow." The simple thought made her mouth water and her stomach start to churn. The baby was already taking control and it hasn't even been born yet. All she wanted to do was get a good night's sleep, for her bed time was getting earlier and earlier, after a giant plate of mackerel. The town she entered was a lot more modern than the small village she passed through yesterday. It was like a smaller version of Konoha with just as much life and bustle at nights. There were people casually eating at small restaurants, shinobi from other villages were walking in and out of hotels, the air was full of chatter and music that a flute player was making from the sidewalk. What caught her eye though was a couple walking down the street with their infant daughter. The woman wasn't of exquisite beauty but there was a softness to her face that made her gravitating. The man didn't have a prized faced either but his smile was so light-hearted that she couldn't help but mimic him when she saw him greet the people around him. The little girl though, even Temari could tell she would grow up to be a very lovely girl with brightest grey eyes from her mother and a head of black hair from her father. She knew very well she probably looked creepy watching the people from across the street so she stepped further back under the awning of a closed shop. Everything seemed to excite the girl and she would stop and point to which her parents would tell her what they were. Sometimes she would laugh, other times she would have an inquisitive expression but her parents seemed nothing but delighted.

_She's cute…._

Crossing her arms, she wondered what sort of questions she'd have to answer as a parent. She was more than ready for the simple things but what she found formidable were those questions that she herself couldn't answer or shouldn't answer. She worried that she may not be who her child would seek at the most confusing times or someone they could depend on. It go her questioning herself even more than she already had and half of them went unanswered. The couple walked past on the other side of the street and disappeared into the mix of people and it dawned on her again at how much rode on her shoulders. It would be easier if she had someone else but she wasn't about to go down that route. In a cloud of doubt, she walked into a small ramen shop next to a hotel.

"Hello Miss! Just one tonight?" A young man with a mustache welcomed her at the door.

"Yes." As usual.

"Right this way." Maneuvering through the patrons, he found a small table in the back and a waitress came to take her order.

"You have a big order! Are you waiting for someone?"

"No. It's just me. I'm really hungry from traveling."

"Ah I see. You Shinobi sure do a lot….thank you." The waitress gave her a warm smile.

Temari had never been personally thanked for being a shinobi before. "Uh…you're welcome but it's part of my job."

"I know but I just wanted to express how grateful I am for you all fighting for us during the war. You all were so brave…" The girl's eyes were twinkling. "I wish I could have been a shinobi. My mother said my father was."

"He was?"

"Oh yes! He was a shinobi of the hidden leaf. I never met him but I'm sure he was probably out there with you guys!"

"You don't know your father? Why don't you go find him?"

"No. My mother said he left when I was young to go back to the village. He promised to come back but he never did. She thinks he's dead but….something tells me he's very much alive!"

"You really should go find him."

"I will but I'm sure there's a lot of shinobi so it would take me a while….if I ever find him I think I'll ask him to train me to become a good ninja like he probably is. Well I'll go put your order in!" Temari had a pleasant smile until the girl walked away. Looking on as she skipped into the kitchen, Temari wondered how she stayed so strong and persistent to find her father over the years. Perhaps it was the need for a connection or perhaps she just simply wanted to prove her mother wrong. Through the eyes of the girl, she saw another's life without a father and completely different feelings than the one she had. This caused her to do a lot more thinking and dreading. Tomorrow was quickly approaching.

…..

That morning was bitterly cold with the skies tainted a dull grey that placed a moody overcast. It didn't help her that she woke up feeling irritated and her back started acting up again. With each step, The Hidden Leaf village got closer and closer and her situation became even more tangible. It wasn't until now that she became more cold and numb to her emotions to try and dismiss the pain and anxiousness. He fists involuntarily clenched, her eyes were strong and narrowed but shaded by the hood of her black cloak. Behind her, the sudden rumble of thunder in the distance seemed to announce her seriousness of her arrival and the rain that would soon come, the dejectedness she was trying to run away from. Everything was catching up as she was pushing it away.

"Hey you! Identify yourself!" Izumo's sudden appearance stopped her dead in her tracks. Her face must have been shaded a lot for him to not even recognize her. It was unwelcomed that she had to run into them so she lifted her head so he would quickly let her go. "Oh hey Temari." Rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment.

"You idiot! I told you it was her!" Kotetsu shook his fist in annoyance.

"He He….sorry about that. You just looked so different that I wasn't entirely sure."

"It's fine." Her voice sounded void and robotic.

"Hey are you ok?"

"I'm fine. I need to go." Stepping past him, she didn't even bother to look back at his expression or worry about what he mumbled to himself under his breath.

The town that afternoon was busy as usual but not as lively. People appeared more focused on getting inside before the coming rains. Shop owners were quickly pulling inside any outdoor equipment and putting up awnings to protect their businesses. Since the children were all at academy, there were none of them running back and forth to provide some sort of vivaciousness so the somber atmosphere created by the overcast just drifted down in a fog among the city dwellers. Temari was sure to keep her hood on as she looked for a place to make her final stop before her destination. Some place busy, some place where no one would ask her any questions and a place with a bathroom tucked away. Over in the corner of one of the streets she was on was a very quaint bar that was almost completely hidden if you didn't come from a certain angle. Upon seeing it, she made a b line towards it and peeked in the window. It was surprisingly crowded with jounin, locals on lunch break and the workers. No one would realize she was in or out and that hopefully there wouldn't be any suspicion. When she walked inside, she was hit with the noise of music, glasses clinking, revelry and loud chatter. She kept her eyes peeled as she pushed past the inhabitants under the radar and went straight to the bathroom in the back. Quickly, she locked the door and took her bag out from under her cloak. A few days before she left, Temari bought another pregnancy test. That day she found out she was carrying, she took 6 tests to confirm but threw them out to hide the evidence. When she was to approach Shikamaru, she wanted to offer him proof that she was not falsifying her story. There was no reason she would because he knew she didn't want kids in the first place but just to make things clear she would take another to offer as proof. Taking it out of the box, she didn't even bother to read the instructions. She had already had it committed to memory from the other times so she went straight to do her business.

_I don't know why I'm expecting this one to say anything different…_

Leaning against the wall with the test balance on the edge of the small table inside, she found herself aimless staring at the blank ceiling. The adrenaline still pumped through her veins for the entire 5 minutes just the same as when she took it the first time. She guessed there was still an inkling of hope left that this whole thing was a dream but when she looked on the strip, the idea was killed off.

A plus sign.

Again, she wanted to cry but she swallowed that idea quickly in replace for indifference and ice that was metaphorically forming around her heart. She shoved the test in a brown paper bag and put the box and that inside of her satchel. Now that she had all the conformation she would need, she made her way out of the bathroom quietly and pushed through the people again. Her intention was to be invisible but not feel it. She guessed it was just a side effect to the impassiveness.

She was only in the bar for a few minutes but when she emerged, she was greeted by the solemn drops of rain that lightly splashed on the streets in front of her. As it dropped down into her shoulders, she wasn't sure if the water was mixed in with a form of heavy lead or it was just the burden weighing harder down on her shoulders. Passing a clock in the center of the village, she noted the time and established that he was probably at home for lunch. She pictured him sitting leisurely on his couch facing the sliding glass door and eating some ramen without a care in the world. Now she felt it was more of her job than ever to disrupt that. Why should he be living so enjoyably when she was on the boarder of misery? That sounded unequivocally cruel but brushed it off as she turned the corner to his street. His apartment stood like it usually did on that plain corner in that ordinary side of town where nothing really happened but nothing really _didn't_ happen. The rain made it looked more welcoming though and a lot cozier than she wanted it to be. Indeed she was cold and starting to get wet as well as hungry and stressed. That could be why the image of his place changed to be something appealing to her. It didn't make it any easier to approach but she proceeded with resolve.

_He might not even answer…._

What if she was at his apartment? Maybe they were enjoying an afternoon at home in each other's company. The thought brought her morning sickness. Or was that envy and distain making her want to vomit? This whole scene felt like a page out of déjà vu and her feet fused with the ground in front of his apartment entrance.

"_I guess it wouldn't hurt to say hey….we are friends after all…"_

She wished she could have turned back time and knocked herself unconscious before she would make another step further. He was her ultimate downfall and yet a gust of wind under her spirit at the same time. The paradox of their relationship was too much for many to understand but it made sense at the time. Still, she wished she never made that move that broke her in the end. Stepping into the hallway, there was nothing but silence and the sound of rain pouring outside behind her. Her company, as she made her way down and then up the stairs, was the lulling of the lights that were blinking above her path to his apartment on the top floor. The whole time, her pulse was as strong as an stallion and her knees were weakening. When she reached the top, she wasn't sure if she was going to make it because the feeling of dread washed over her.

"Maybe I should just go home."

He doubt was practically screaming along with that voice of rejection that sounded a lot like the dripping of molasses. Shutting her eyes, she shook her head and tried to dump the thoughts out and against her will, kept going. She saw his door at the end of the hallway with a dim light seeping from under the crack. Indeed he was home and it really made her want to turn around and run out. What good would it be to tell him? It's not like he'd receive the news with a smile and open arms. He was only 18 after all. If he didn't have enough energy to even move forward in his career, which was something she knew he cared about despite what he said, what motivation would he have to raise a kid with a girl who he only saw when life got a bit too boring? Taking out the brown bag from her bag, she held it tightly in her hands and tried to think of how she would give it to him with minimal conversation and minimal time. She couldn't think of a sure way to do it but there was no time to think. The time was running around and the seconds ticked by at each breath she took in front of his door.

_Just knock…._

Her body was frozen. Was she trapped in his shadow jutsu?

_Just knock…_

Looking down at the floor, she there was nothing but her own shadow.

_Just knock…._

Mustering up her last bit of strength, she swallowed and pushed her hand towards the door. She was praying she would do it before she passed out from the abrupt shortness of her breathing. Passing out didn't sound so bad right about now but just as her hand was about to contact with the door, she heard the door handle turn and then she face to face with two brown eyes that were just as startled as her own.

"Temari?.." She said nothing but he sounded rather confused. "I thought you left…." Now his voice changed to neither happy, nor sad, nor disappointed.

Her body was completely immobile and her mouth dried up. As much as she wanted to speak, she couldn't. There was no sound and it was as if someone had jabbed a kunai straight through her voice box.

"Temari what's going on? Why are you here?"

_Why am I here?..._

And that's when everything went back to her. She saw herself panic stricken on the floor of her apartment, the tears down her face that first night, Kankuro flipping the table at dinner, Gaara sleeping on her livingroom floor, the children running through the village, that little boy being carted off by his mother, the face of the happy couple with their daughter out for a walk and the sparkle in the eyes of that waitress when she spoke about her father. It was all there. It was clear now as to why she was here and as much as she didn't want to be, there was nothing she could do about it now. Remembering the bag that she had in her hands, she lifted it up and shoved it against his chest. She wasn't even sure he caught it or not before she walked away strongly down the empty hallway. Whether he would accept it or not, whether he cared or not, whether she never saw him again or not was no irrelevant because she now knew her purpose. She was going to become a mother and with or without him, she would raise her child right and the best way she knew how. Temari could never be her mother, and she was the best there was but she'd be damned if she let herself fall too far from her example. Out of all the missions she'd ever received, this one was now the most important. For a moment, she had forgotten she left him standing there at his door until she heard something behind her call out.

"Temari…"


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16: Rolling with the punches**

_Just keep going…._

That's what she told herself when she came to a halt at the sound of his voice echoing from his door behind her. Her intention was to make this the last time she would see him but just like her other bad habits, it was hard to break away from something you've been doing for quite some time. Pun intended and not. He called her name just that one time before there was silence between them again. She had all the energy now to keep going but her will was dissipating in her trail wet of footprints left on the hallway carpet. If she turned back now, who knows if she'd ever leave again? This wheel of repetition would turn again and she might even find herself in a more sentimental spot than before. She liked the casualness of it all because that meant their connection could be broken and reformed without any real damage but this time, the rope between them was a lot thicker. Still, in the midst of her contemplation she turned around. She saw his door wide open, inside it looked exactly the same as how she just left it. He though, vanished from the frame. His subtle way of ordering her inside. She walked back, telling herself she wasn't following his command but giving in on her own accord. It was comforting a little.

_I'm going to regret this…._

Upon walking into the dimly lit apartment, she spotted a bento box with half eaten rice and broiled salmon with green onions around his dining table. Her prediction was spot on and it also made her stomach growl.

"Eat it." A mechanical voice came from his livingroom and when she peek out from behind the wall he was sitting there with his arms stretched out and his head leaned back against it.

"I'm fine."

"You're pregnant. Eat it." He was right. Now wasn't the time to think of her pride but that the growing fetus inside of her was probably starved. With an iron expression, she picked up the food and a pair of wooden chopsticks from a wrapped package. Not saying anything, she went and sat down in the chair across from the couch by the sliding glass door. She wouldn't look at him. He must have been watching her this entire time though because she could feel her body burning under an intense stare. She _wouldn't_ look at him. He must have been thinking for quite a while before he decided to question her. "How long have you known?..." Another order.

"About 2 weeks."

To her surprise, she heard him chuckle but it only made her blood run cold because it came from the depths of pity and disbelief. "You waited that long…"

"What does it matter?...You know now." She put on a heavy mask of indifference.

"I honestly thought I knew you Temari." Sighing, he closed his eyes and she kept on eating off that bitter sweet plate. She felt no more satisfied though. "So what'd you think? You were just going to come up to me and shove this test in my hand just so I couldn't say I had no idea and then disappear?.." He was asking more questions than usual but this wasn't so much of a question as him accurately recounting her true thought process out loud.

"….yea…"

"You're a mess."

"You're not any more put together." She bit back in between bites of fish.

"Well at least I can swallow my pride." That one stung. Throughout the entire conversation she felt she was the only one getting heated because the tone of his voice hadn't changed at all. That's all she could go off of. "If you think that just because we're not together that I'd let you just walk off with my kid….you need to go back and rethink things."

"So let me guess Shikamaru…you're just going to welcome this with open arms and we'll all go walking off into the sunset like the end of some sappy movie. Well I'm not sure what world you're living in but I don't expect things to go that way….so I plan accordingly."

"Whatever you do on your end is your call but I'm not going to let you take my kid away."

"I have to admit, I never expect you to be so _attached_." Temari hit him below the belt without even blinking.

"And I never expected you to be so petty." That statement drive home and Temari stopped eating. She had no rebuttal, no clever come back or witty statement and she knew she had been called out on something she didn't even realized. The sentence echoed in her ear and bounced off the walls of her conscious. "It must still be sinking in that you're not the only one in this anymore. You need to get that."

She was determined not to lose her cool in front of him because he was the last person she wanted to see her weakness. More than anything she wanted him to revere her independence and maturity but she wasn't doing a good job acting like an adult so she choose to say nothing. The minutes dragged on and even though she ate as slowly as possible, she found the last bit of rice going down her throat. At least now she didn't feel hungry anymore. Before she could get up to put the box down, she felt it removed from her fingers. Shikamaru took it and walked into his kitchen.

"You need to take better care of yourself….I don't know much about pregnant women but I know they need to eat better food than bento take out…"

"I'm eating just fine." Not really.

He snuffed. "How many months are you anyway?..."

"I….don't know…"

"So you haven't been to a doctor either…." Leave it to Shikamaru to find the holes in anyone's situation. She heard him leave the kitchen and go into his room. When he was gone, she finally had the nerve to look up and her neck began to stretch. Coming out, he had his flak jacket on and grabbed his keys from the dining room table. "Come on. We're leaving."

Temari stayed put. "Where are we going?..."

"To see a doctor."

"I'm not seeing any doctor. In case you haven't noticed, I can't exactly tell anyone I'm pregnant."

"Just get up." He left without saying another word. Temari really didn't have a choice but to go with him. It was either that or stay in this now foreign apartment mulling over their conversation. It would only get her depressed so she followed after him. She figured that he probably didn't want people knowing she was pregnant either so he had an idea of who to go to.

…..

"Where's Sakura?" They stood at the front desk of Konoha hospital which was crawling with men and women in white coats or scrubs. Some were doctors or hospital staff and the others were patients or village residents.

"Oh Hey Shikamaru." The brown headed nurse at the counter gave him a wink through her circular bifocals. Temari felt sick again.

"I need Sakura."

"Oh she's upstairs in her office on the second floor. Room 207."

"Thanks."

"Later handsome." She blew him a not-so-subtle kiss. It was revolting.

_Sakura….ok._

The way he so casually went through the hospital, no one would have guessed that they were both hiding a deep secret. As to not blow their cover, she too put on her usual air of business until they made it to Sakura's office door.

_Harano Sakura…Konoha Hospital Chief Assistant ….Fancy title._

"Sakura!" Shikamaru knocked before they heard the shuffling of papers and chairs.

"Shikamaru?" She opened the door with quite a surprise and was ever more confused when she saw Temari. "Temari? What's going on guys?"

"We need your help…" She must have read Shikamaru's face because she looked a little suspicious.

"Uh…ok sure. Come on in." She opened the way for them to get inside and they both sat down in the two chairs on the other side of her desk. Temari noticed how neat and organized her office was. Not to mention the shelves of medical books, folders, personal notes and charts. There were pictures of Konoha's landscape on her wall with another of a beautiful painted garden with what looked like Sai's signature at the bottom. On her desk was her name plate and in the corner a picture of Team 7, one of Naruto and Sauske in the hospital posing next to her and Sai and another of her parents. There was one more picture but it was turned completely around so Temari couldn't see what it was. Sakura sat down and placed the papers she was looking at in a neat pile. "So, how can I help you guys?" Her smile was a lot brighter which could only indicate that things were going well in her life. That made one of them.

"There's something we need your help with…."

"Ok. What is it?"

"Sakura you have to promise me that you'll keep this quiet under all circumstances…"

Sakura grew puzzled at the seriousness of this request. "Um ok….go on…"

"Good." Shikamaru leaned back in his chair and look as though he bracing for impact before giving Temari the signal with his gaze.

"Well….I'm…I'm…." It was harder for her to say it than she thought. "I'm pregnant."

Sakura's eyes turned into small dinner plates and she stood straight up from her chair. "What?! You're what?!"

"Sakura…" Shikamaru gave a firm reminder.

"Right….You're having a baby? I mean of course if you're pregnant you're having a baby but I mean…right now?" She was babbling back and forth to herself about how exciting this is and how scary and serious this is along with making strange comments and mumbling. "So how many months are you?"

"I don't know." That was a little embarrassing.

"That's why we're here. We need you to figure that out." He laid out the problem so easily.

"Oh ok. I can do that but I guess we're going to have to do everything in here….I'll go get some supplies! You guys wait right here ok?!" Sakura practically ran out of her office and disappeared.

"We can trust her."

Temari shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "We have no choice now." The two sat in silence with Shikamaru placing his hands behind his head and Temari sitting awkwardly in her seat to ease her back until Sakura came rushing back in. Temari straightened up.

"Ok!" She threw down a few unopened syringes, fresh needles and a tube for blood samples. "Temari I hope you're not afraid of needles-"

"I've been stabbed by Kunai a total of 28 times. Needles are nothing."

"Ok then….well let's draw some blood!" Temari had never come across someone so happy to draw blood other than murders but this was Sakura she was dealing with. Temari stretched out her arm, on the table and Sakura cleaned a vein in the center and prepared to draw. The needle went in so easy that if Temari wasn't looking, she'd have no idea that she had just been stuck. The entire process took a minute or two and Sakura cleaned up quickly. "I'm going to go run this in the lab and I'll be right back! Do you two want to wait or come back in 20 minutes or so?"

"We'll wait. We should try to avoid causing too much commotion….people will start talking." He was right.

"Ok! I'll be back up in 20 minutes with the results! And Temari…" Sakura caught her attention while she was zoned out.

"Hm?"

"Smile. You're going to me a mom." Sakura's untaintedness was something Temari never had because not everyone was as lucky. She was sure Sakura had her share of problems too sometimes though. To get her off her back, she gave a small and forced smile to appease the girl before she left again.

Shikamaru sighed and Temari found something very odd in this entire situation. "You're not afraid this baby could be someone else's?"

"No. We both are with other people but we're not complete idiots as to who we've been with and when….if you showed up at my door it's obvious you calculated that it could only be my kid." He gave her way to much credit than what she thought she'd get.

"You don't seem very surprised about any of this at all…"

"I am surprised but…there's nothing I can do about it. What's done is done. I brought it upon myself anyway. I should have used a condom."

"Should I be getting tested for diseases too?" Temari knew better than to assume that but she couldn't help it.

"You can get that idea out of your head. I'm not reckless. In fact….you're the only one I didn't use one with come to think of it." He said it as if he just remembered he left a window open or something insignificant like that.

"Bone-head move."

"I know." He chuckled. "So….I'm guessing your brothers know…"

"Yea…." She wondered if Kankuro ever came around while she was gone.

"I guess I should lock my windows at night so it'll give me enough time to prepare for when Kankuro comes busting into my apartment." Shikamaru didn't sound worried at all.

"He wants to kill you."

"Not surprised. I got his sister pregnant out of marriage. I'm sure that annoying old woman is up in arms as well."

"She doesn't know."

"She doesn't? Hm. Luck is on our side."

"She'll know once I start showing." That's easily a in few months.

"Then, we have work to do."

"There's no way to get around her. I'm suppose to be meeting the man I could be marrying next week."

"I told you they'd rope you in." He smirked.

"Shut the hell up."

"I'll solve your marriage problem."

"No you won't."

"If I told you I will…then I will…"

"I'm not marrying you either."

"Farthest thing from my mind. There are other ways."

"I'll figure it out on my own." She placed her head on her hand that was resting on the arm.

"Good luck."

The two went back and forth between moments of silence and subtly biting conversation. It didn't seem like 20 minutes but Sakura came back into the room with a manila folder clutched tightly in her hands. Temari and Shikamaru both straightened up while Sakura went through the papers. "Well….you're definitely pregnant."

"I know that already." Temari was a little irritated that she had to confirm that.

"Ok, ok calm down. According to the lab, you're a little over two months in." Sakura smiled as if she was reading her own results. "Congratulations you two. You'll be parents in April."

Temari sat back in her chair and let the news soak in. "April…"

"Yea! So does this mean you guys are getting married now?"

"Haha…no. We're not." Shikamaru must have found her excitedness endearing.

"Wait…what? So what are you guys gonna do?"

"Nothing. Continue on the way things were." Temari stated that as a fact.

"But what about the baby? Don't you want it to have a complete family? "

"We'll cross that bridge when we get there…thanks for everything Sakura." Shikamaru gave her a grateful smile. "We're gonna get going now-"

"Oh wait! Don't you guys wanna see the baby? I have a portable ultrasound device in the room across!"

"A what?" Temari wasn't familiar with all this medical stuff.

"An ultrasound as in a camera sort of thing to see he baby. A lot of parents want one done. You can see the baby moving around inside." Temari got a little nervous at the fact that she was given to chance to actually see what was going on. Everything was happening so fast that she needed time to process yet at the same time, she was curious as to what was going inside of her.

"I don't know-" Temari interrupted Shikamaru quickly.

"Sure…"

"Great! I'll be back again!" As giddy as she could be, she ran out of the office to wheel in what looked like a video monitor with many chords and wires coming from it. "Ok just sit back in the chair and if you don't mind, could you remove your Kimono? You can put this over your chest so you don't feel uncomfortable." She was a bit hesitant to strip down in front of everyone but she couldn't turn back now so she untied her obi and placed the paper hospital make-shift shirt over her breasts before she released her kimono. Sakura took something out that looked like a microphone and rubbed some gel on it. "Ok this will be cold but it helps see the baby a lot clearer."

"Ok…"

Shikamaru was still leaning back in his chair with his hands behind his head, glancing at the process happening beside him. When Sakura turned the screen on, she turned up the volume on the nob that made a loud bang when the device touched her stomach. Everyone flinched. "Sorry! Ok…now…to find this baby…." Sakura moved the cold liquid around her stomach and stuck her tongue out while she was trying to pinpoint the location. Temari was looking down trying to figure out exactly how it worked but her thoughts were interrupted by Sakura's exclamation. "Temari look!" When she looked up on the screen she saw a small white object that was floating back and forth against the fuzzy white and black background. "That's your baby…I know you can't see much because it's still small but…here it is…." Sakura moved the sensor a little to the left and coming from the monitor was a small pounding noise that played in sequence. It only took her a second to realize what it actually was.

_That's…_

"That's it's heart beat….It's so strong…" The sound was nothing more than constant drumming and to anyone else, it would have meant nothing but it made Temari bite her lip and widen her eyes in amazement. Nothing had ever sounded so beautiful yet so powerful against the stillness. The baby was real now. It wasn't just a thing leaching to her uterus like a parasite. It was a living, breathing, human being who even in it's most unrecognizable state was so awe inspiring that she couldn't help but stare. It was so helpless and tiny that she imagined how fragile it was inside. Did it feel anything yet? Did it know what was going on outside? Did it connect with her yet? The obvious answer was no but she couldn't help but think that her baby felt exactly what she felt, knew exactly what she knew and connected with her at that very moment. She wasn't a mother the day it was born or the day it first started to gather memories of her. She was a mother at this very minute and maybe even way before then. Temari sat there in silence. "You ok Temari?"

"Oh…yea."

"I know it's really cool isn't it! This is the best part for new moms in their first visit. It's when I show them this and let them hear the baby that I see them realize the beauty of life and what they made. You're so lucky you have this chance to live for someone other than yourself. I know I'm probably far off from being a mother but…I hope I'm given the chance as well. You're going to do a great job Temari so don't be so scared kay? Your other friends, me, and your brothers will be right there with you. I'm also sure Shikamaru isn't going anywhere either…." Sakura give him a warning look and Temari realized that he was still sitting next to her. Turning her head, she saw him looking at the monitor. He must have not heard them because for a brief second she saw on his face the smallest smile that quickly faded when he knew they were watching him.

"Right….Well we should go. We've been up here too long."

"Oh ok! Do you want pictures Temari?" Sakura was about to try and take one.

"No. I can't have any….I don't want anyone finding them."

"Well maybe your doctor in Suna-"

"I don't have a doctor…I can't go to one."

"You can't? Wow this is a problem…you need to have monthly checkups so you need a doctor."

"I know…"

"If you can't get one there, then if you come here once a month, I can see you in secret."

"I don't know if that's possible but I'll try."

"You have to do it for the baby you know! Find some way to get here. We can tell the gender of the baby when you come for your 5 month visit so there's some motivation. Doctor's orders!"

"We get it, we get it." Shikamaru waved her off while Sakura unhooked everything and turned off the machine. Temari put her clothes back on while she was gone and made sure she faced away from Shikamaru.

"I've already seen you naked…"

"Just save it." When Sakura came back in, they all said their goodbyes and headed out the door. Temari started down the hallway first but not before she heard Sakura and Shikamaru whispering about something by the door. She gave him a stern look to which he rolled his eyes but Temari couldn't gather more without being caught.

_What are they saying?..._

They left the hospital through the back entrance and went back to his apartment.

….

"What do you want for dinner?.." He had his head stuck in the fridge while she sat on the couch.

"I'll get dinner myself."

"You're still holding on to this thing…."

"Just get out of my face ok? If I say I'm fine then believe me. I don't need you behind me like I'm some little kid…."

"I'm doing this for the baby. Not you."

"I can take care of myself and the baby on my own."

"Whatever Temari…" His attitude was aggravating. The way he suddenly hovered over her and tried to pretend her cared, or so she thought, was only making her regret telling him more and more. She had no intention to be treated like an invalid so it's better he understood that now.

Sitting there twiddling her thumbs was not making things any better so she made up her mind that it was best that she went to her apartment and prepared herself to leave the next day. She wanted to be home on her bed in Suna even if it meant she was in the center of the chaos of it all. Anything was better than being here and feeling so mixed up inside.

"I'll go down to the pharmacy tomorrow….Sakura said you need to take vitamins but only gave me enough for a month." He tossed her the bottle.

"Yea…" Just then, there was a knock at the door and Temari rose habitually to her feet to go find some place to hide herself.

"Sit." Without hesitation he walked over and opened it slightly. That's when she heard that perky voice coming from the other end.

_Her…._

"Hey Shikamaru!"

"Hey." He didn't sound half as excited as she did.

"So are we going to that tea house tonight? My grandpa said it's the best spot in town during the winter!"

"I can't."

"Why not? You promised!"

"I know but I can't. Maybe another day." Temari sat still with her fist clenched so tight they were turning a flushed red color and her teeth hardened together.

"Aw Shikamaru! I've been looking forward to this all week! This is really unlike you."

"Something happened so I gotta take care of that first."

_Something happened…_

"Oh….well…ok but you better be ready to go tomorrow!"

"Tomorrow….mhm…"

"Ja ne!" The bells rang loudly as the girl skipped off down the hallway and he closed the door. Temari had about enough of being around him today and her showing up only added the straw that broke the camel's back. Gathering her things, she headed right the door right when he turned around.

"I'm leaving. Go out with her. I'll be fine."

"You've been acting like such a brat….it's annoying."

"I haven't. I've just been being honest."

"Look Temari….we may not be together, we may not have any feelings outside of respect and temporary satisfaction but lemme tell you that they won't be reasons I'm gonna flake some two bit bastard who can't deal with his responsibilities. It pisses me off that you take me for someone like that and you act like I'm not doing my best. I just found out I'm going to be a dad at 18 today and I'm trying to deal just like you. Although I wish I didn't happen, we both don't have a choice but to work together so this kid doesn't grow screwed up. This means that you need to get over yourself and do this for the baby. We don't live for ourselves anymore like what Sakura said so just cut the crap and grow the fuck up."

Temari had never been so insulted yet put in her place in her entire life. No one but him had dared talk to her like that and she didn't know how to take it. Their "relationship" had completely changed and she didn't like it at all. Standing there and looking at his serious expression only made her want to escape his gaze. "Get out of my way." Brushing past him she left and slammed the door behind her.

_Why did it have to be him?..._


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17: Future Preparations**

That night was torture when it came to sleep. She tossed and turned, woke up to what she thought was the smell of boiled eggs which made her vomit for an hour straight and her mind was soaring with how she was going to deal with all of the problems that had been thrown at her. As the sun started to rise over the horizon, she finally found herself beginning to drift off the sleep. It only felt like a moment of slumber when she heard a knock at her door.

_For all intensive purposes….I'm not here._

There it was again.

"Temari! Temari it's Sakura!"

"Why is she here so early?..." Groaning and pulling the covers over her eyes, the knocking persisted until she finally drew herself out of bed and shuffled towards the door.

"Hey Tema- Oh my gosh….you look a mes!."

"Yea. You're here at the crack of dawn you know…"

"It's actually 1 o'clock…." Sakura showed her the watch on her wrist. It only made Temari groan louder and roll her eyes.

"Come in…" She dragged herself back into her bed but not before pulling up a chair close to it. "I don't have the energy to sit up and talk….it's either one or the other."

"It's fine. You look like you haven't slept all night." Sakura shut the door from the cold outside and followed her in.

"How could you tell…" Her sarcasm was still armed and dangerous.

"Hm. Well I brought you some more pre-natal vitamins. You need to take them every day Temari. I mean it."

"Yea, yea…." Sakura placed the plastic bag on her night table.

"I'm guessing the insomnia is because your hormones are out of whack. What else do you feel?"

"My back hurts, I have random cravings, I'm always sick and throwing up….and now I've noticed things seem to smell a lot stronger. You smell like you were dipped in a vat of peppermint." Temari sniffed lightly.

"Oh yea….I was in the tea shop and that's what I ordered. I also took some of the sticks home to use with my tea. What luck though! Whenever you get sick, just eat one." Sakura dumped some of them into the bag. "It's a natural remedy for upset stomach."

"Thanks…."

"Temari you really need to start taking better care of yourself. Your little one now depends on it."

"Everyone keeps stressing what I already know." It was getting tiring.

"Everyone? I thought no one knew but Shikamaru and I.."

"That's who I meant." Although she tried to avoid the subject at all cost, she found she would never deviate too far from him.

"Oh….You two are having problems? I could tell things were tense when you came in yesterday."

"Problems? No. Those are for couples."

"Problems or no, you two are going to be raising a child. You both need to pull it together."

"Who said I wanted to raise a baby with him?" Temari turned to face the other direction.

"Temari I hope you're not trying to push him away because you're too afraid to be dependent on someone else."

"What do you know?"

Sakura's voice changed to show her offense to the statement. "I may not be as old as you but I know a thing or two about relationships, men and strong women."

"How's it working with Sasuke?"

Sakura narrowed her eyes. "We're doing ok I guess- but that's not what we're talking about! It's about how you and Shikamaru needing to cut this stuff out!"

Temari merely yawned. "Mhm."

"You also need to get some sleep. He looked more tired than usually this morning too. He was up super early."

Temari perked up at this odd news. "Shikamaru? Up early?"

"Yea. He was going to work actually. I was on my way to the early shift at the hospital for 7:30 when I bumped into him."

"What on earth was he doing?..." If there was one thing Temari knew, it was that Shikamaru was never an early riser on purpose. All the times she would spend at his house she had to make sure her day didn't start until at least 12.

Sakura sighed after she saw Temari thinking for a few minutes. "He was going to work Temari."

"Why would he be at work that early? He doesn't start until 1:30."

"I bet he's trying to get extra money…"

There was a quiet feeling of regret when she imagined him walking alone down the quiet morning street and dragging himself out of bed in the cold. That feeling was quickly put out. "Oh."

"That's all you can say? Just Oh? He might be doing it for the baby! Temari as mature as I thought you were…you sure aren't acting like it."

"Thanks for all of your help Sakura. I'm tired so I'm going to sleep now." She wasn't in the mood for a lecture.

"Oh…ok. Well when do you leave?"

"I was going to try and leave today but I guess I'll just be gone tomorrow morning…."

"Ok. I'll stop by later with more things for you. Get some sleep ok?" Sakura still managed to smile at the end even though Temari hadn't been the kindest of company.

"Right." Temari pulled the covers over her head and prayed that she would doze off as quickly as possible. Her plea was heard because the last thing she remembered was the sound of the door closing behind her before she was out like a light. The sleep she had wasn't satisfying though. Her consciousness went in an out as she tried to pull herself back into slumber but nothing would work. Was she that stressed out? Around 2 hours later, the sound of a knock came from her door, or so she thought because she wasn't sure if it was a dream or not until she heard a voice creeping from when it opened.

"Temari…" That wasn't a dream. Groaning and wiping her eyes, she turned over to see him standing inside with his hands in his pocket and a plastic bag over his wrist.

"What are you doing here?" She didn't even have the strength to get up so she didn't try.

"I guess I interrupted….I'll come back…"

"No….what is it?.." He was there so she might as well get everything over with.

"I got you some tea….the woman at the shop said it was good for sleeping problems and stomach problems…I figured you might have morning sickness." Temari wasn't the only one look drained.

"Oh….thanks."

"Yea…."

"Where did you come from?" Temari knew it already but she just wanted confirmation.

"I went in early….it was a drag but I'll get more money and it's not like I have anything better to do."

"I see." For a split second, she felt bad for him because his usual shift ended at about 9 so he would go for over 12 hours straight with probably one break which he was spending here.

"You don't look so good."

"I don't feel so good….I didn't sleep at all last night."

"You should try now. Here's the tea." This whole time he was standing by her door until he came in and placed the bag next to her bed. "You probably won't make it out of bed…" He took a packet out of the bag and went into her kitchen.

_Huh?_

"Do you have any pots or anything?"

"Um…there's a kettle in the cupboard by the stove..." Temari's eyes followed him step by step until he put the kettle on the stove to warm and leaned against her counter. Being too exhausted to question or say anything, she just laid there and wondered why he was doing all this. Did he not understand when she said she was fine? "You don't have to do this you know?"

"I know….but thanks for the reminder." As tired as he was, he was still full of clever remarks. When the water boiled over, he put it in a cup with the teabag and brought it back over to her. "Here."

She just looked at him. It was for a good minute that she just stared at him and wondered what was really going on behind that apathetic look in his eyes. It was clear that he wasn't going to go away and his will was just as strong as hers at time so she gave in. Sitting up in her bed, she took the tea and he the spot Sakura was sitting in next to her bed.

_Why is he still here?..._

She drank it slowly as to not to show her surprise at how good it tasted and the whole time her eyes watched him as he crossed his arms and leaned further back in the chair. "Thanks…."

"Yea…" He gazed outside of the window at the bright afternoon and she watched his eyes gloss over against the sunbeams. Whatever he was thinking of must have been pretty important. "When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow morning…."

"Oh ok…..when will you be back?..."

"I don't know….Sakura gave me no choice but to make the trip once a month so next month I guess…"

He exhaled. "I see." His demeanor was a lot more drained and she saw him fight sleep for a second or two while they sat there in silence. "If you can't come….I'll bring her. I can disguise it so no one will suspect anything."

"I think I can make it for the next few months but once I get far in I guess we'll have to do that…"

The conversation paused on the edge of something until Shikamaru asked what he probably really was thinking about. "When do you meet him?"

"Meet who?" She had finished her tea and placed it on the table. The effects were remarkable because she could already feel her body calming down.

"The Feudal Lord's son."

"5 days from today."

"Tell me about him when you come."

"What? Why do you want to know?" Temari was puzzled as to what this had to do with him.

"You don't want to marry him do you?"

"No…"

"Then I need to know about him."

Temari felt she was perfectly capable of handling this situation on her own so before she would go begging for his help, she would try it on her own. "I'll see…" Just then, a yawn escaped her and her eyes started to become too weighted to open.

"I guess I'll go…my lunch break is about to be over. I hope the tea helps…."

"Alright." He would let himself out so she sunk back down on her bed, too weak to fully cover herself and too worn out make sure that he left. Her blinking started to slow down and only let in peaks of sunlight through the window until everything became a haze. It was a little cold in her apartment but she was just way too drawn into slumber to sink herself deeper inside. That's when she felt the sheets slowly being pulled over to her shoulder and a familiar touch glide against her skin. "Thanks." That was the last thing she said before she heard the door close and she was gone.

….

That morning she was greeted by another round of hurling the contents of her stomach into the toilet bowl.

_This baby really needs to let go of my stomach._

It was the part of the day she hated most because every morning without fail since the day she found out she'd been unable to keep anything down in the morning. It was very early, the sun was barely coming over the horizon when she grew so hungry that she was prepared to force anything down to be full even for a moment. She ate an apple for breakfast and prayed that it wouldn't be rejected as she started off down the quiet and now very cold streets of Konoha. Temari was shivering even through her thick cloak and her breath slithered out like fog from the thick forests. As she turned to corner to the city gates she stopped short behind some trees to see him walking alonedown the perpendicular street. He had his hands in his pocket and his head looking up at the brightening sky as he too huddled tightly to his flack against the cold. Maybe she was being hypersensitive but she saw in his eyes a mixture of the drowsiness of an early morning and a distant expression that trailed off into an emotion she couldn't quite put her fingers on. He didn't smile and he didn't frown but his mouth was more firm than usual. It was something she had never seen before and she stared at him intensely until he disappeared around another corner. When he had finally gone, she made her way out of her hiding spot and towards the gates.

_What's wrong with him?..._

"Have a safe trip Temari." Izumo sounded as groggy as ever.

"Until next time!" Kotetsu gave a small salute to which she nodded at the both of them. They'd both be seeing her more often than she'd like.

Her journey back home began and although it was calm and quiet, giving her plenty of time to think and plan she couldn't get his expression out of her head. It would cross her mind at the most unexpected points and prevent her from finishing her thoughts. Unless he openly told her, she would never be able to tell what he was thinking or what he was feeling and it wasn't like she was going to ask. So, she did nothing but throw guesses around until she told herself it doesn't matter to which the whole cycle would repeat again. All the way home it bothered her until she finally saw The Sand Village in her sights. As she looked on the horizon though, there was something off about the entire scene. Something was missing.

"Where's Kankuro?" Her brother's figure in the distance was nowhere to be found. It was probably the one thing that could have made this entire trip better but it in fact made her homecoming worse. Since she was so use to seeing him there, it became a given that he would be at the gates giving that reserved smile to welcome her home. This time, though there was no one and she entered the gates that evening all by herself. "I guess he's still mad…" She didn't want to go home and sit by herself in her empty apartment in the mood she was in so she shuffled off to see Gaara who was probably still in his office. She was right.

"Temari…."

"Hey Gaara…" Temari made sure to close the doors behind her and lower her voice.

"How was your trip?" He stopped his paperwork to entertain her.

"Fine."

"Did you….make the stop?"

"No….Shikamaru took me to see Sakura instead."

"I see….that was a better idea. I trust Sakura will be able to keep it a secret and it was better to confide in a friend rather than a stranger…"

"I guess…"

"So…how did he take the news?"

"Like he takes any news I guess. He just accepted it."

"Hm. I guess it means I'll have to send you away more often then…" She hinted a hesitant tone in his voice.

"I don't really want to go back there."

"But Temari there's not much for you here anymore. I'm sorry to say that."

"There's you and Kankuro. That's the only thing I need. I'll deal with Lady Rie and everything else but I don't want to go back there."

"The father of your child and the only doctor who you can trust is there so you must go Temari."

"I can deal with it all here. I'm not about to pick up my entire life and leave you just for Shikamaru and a doctor."

"If you're worried about me then don't be….I will be fine. If it makes you feel any better, I still have Kankuro…"

"But I promised mother-"

"And you've kept that promise Temari….but now it is time for you to live your own life. Kankuro and I have reached a stage where we can take care of ourselves. Do not feel burdened to protect us because now we can stand on our own. Soon, there will be someone else who will need your protection…more than us." Their eyes both cast down to her stomach that was peeking through her cloak. That's right, there was a baby in there who relied on her for it's very existence. It was all so profound.

"I saw it you know?"

"What did you see?"

"The baby. It's so small….Sakura let me listen to it's heart beat. Gaara…it was so beautiful…" The more she thought about it, the more her spirit filled up with something whether it be pride, responsibility, fear, joy. Gaara smiled as he watched her ran her fingers down her torso.

"Well don't you look happy…"

"Maybe I am in a way….I guess I should tone it down tomorrow so I don't give everything away."

"Oh that's right….you travel to meet the Feudal Lord's son…" The air suddenly got dense and it almost became hard for her to breath.

"I guess there's no way for me to escape it now. I've got to face this head on and make my own decision as to what to do. I can't marry him and I can't tell him I'm pregnant either." Temari slumped down further into her seat and sighed.

"I'm sure Shikamaru's mind is working hard for a solution as well."

"Can we not talk about him? I'm slowly giving in to him being _potentially_ in the life of the baby but I'm not even completely sure of that. _This_ matter is none of his concern."

"Oh? It is not is it?" Gaara's inflection sounded a little too "all knowing" for her liking.

The next morning came too quickly for Temari and on top of that on too little sleep. She woke up screaming the previous night from the most alarming dream she had in a long time. There was sweat dripping down her face, her heart was racing and her body was still tense from the all-to-real-scenery that played out in the subconscious of her mind.

_In the middle of the darkness she stood in the most beautiful wedding Kimono with her hair pinned up in silver hair sticks that dangled white diamonds. It felt like she was standing in a pool of water so when she looked down, oddly enough she could see her reflection with her face dolled up in fresh makeup. Panic stricken and utterly confused, she began to search for any light or place of escape but there was only infinite darkness and stillness for as far as she could make out. Instead of standing there like a frightened small animal, she decided to go exploring this place or wherever she was. As she trudged forward, she noticed a figure fading itself into existence in the distance._

"_Hey!" The figure said nothing but it's back was turned the entire time. Wearing a traditional wedding attire, the figure stood perfectly still as she approached further. "Who are you?" Nothing. When she became close enough, she reached out and touched it's shoulder but what came next at her so frightened she couldn't speak. The face of the man was ghastly and entirely white. He had fangs that jutted from his mouth and flaming eyes that burned her skin when she looked at it too long. It was void of expression and void of a soul for the eyes were fiery yet empty at the same time. The man tried to grab her wrist but when she looked down at his hands they was drenched in blood that dripped down to the wet floor. She almost didn't make it out of his embrace before she took off running, slipping right out of her shoes and feeling the liquid come to the end of her kimono. As she made a mad dash in the opposite direction, she saw another figure materialize itself- another man on the other end with his back turned toward her but this one she could easily recognize._

_Shikamaru?!..._

_He was wearing his usual attire of a green flak jacket, black pants with a tie around the leg and a white scarf around the waist. There was smoke rising from around his face and it caused thick smoke to take over the surrounding area. "Shikamaru!" Her voice echoed in the darkness but it was like he didn't hear her at all, as loud as she was. She kept calling out to him but he never responded until finally she reached out to him and he quickly turned around. This made her step back again in shock at his void expression. It was those same dull eyes and indifferent mouth that clutched his cigarette tightly yet the soul behind them was dead. He was Shikamaru but at the same time he wasn't, which made her imagine him as a shell of who he really was. Looking at her with a coldness that made her shiver in her clothes, he only took his cigarette from his mouth and puffed a fresh ring of smoke. "Shikamaru?..."_

_His eyes clutched her for a moment before slowly panning down the ground where the liquid they were standing in rippled in response to her motion. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a square silver slighter and flicked it which caused a small illumination with which he held down to the pool they were in. Upon seeing what the liquid actually was she couldn't help but shriek in pure horror. Blood. There was blood everywhere and from what she gathered, for an infinite distance. It trailed up her kimono and when she followed it to the top where it led to a gaping and bloody hole in her stomach. She didn't feel anything but numbness and when her fingers tried to stop the bleeding they only became drenched themselves. All she could do was scream and scream until she felt her body jerk and she was sitting up in her bed just before the sun rose._

The recollection made her shiver as the female attendants of the Feudal Lord's winter home escorted her inside of the courtyard. She hopped very deep down that there was nothing to this dream but a frightful imagination created by a very sleep deprived and hormone driven mind. Shinobi were a very suspeicious bunch, taking many things to heart and although she didn't want to admit it, something this unforgettably could possibly mean something was coming. Her fingers glided across her obi and she thought of all the ways it could be about the baby and that's when the dread stuck deep into her bones. Grabbing her knife through her clothes, she looked anxiously around the courtyard.

The plants were surprisingly still green even though the temperature had dropped but there were no flowers. The air was stuffy and silent except for the running water of a miniature stone waterfall that was placed in the center of a make-shift stream. She could barely breathe but wasn't sure if it was because of her autumn kimono of maroon with gold and green leaves hand painted on. The white obi was drawn up very tightly around her waist because Lady Rie insisted that she look thin. If Temari didn't persist that it be let out, she would probably be concerned that the baby was being smothered. Her hair was tied up in an intricate braided bun with two hair sticks poking out of one side that had small silver beaded flowers hanging down. When she finally was pushed out of the dressing room, Gaara gave her a look she had never seen before. Astonishment? He also told her that their mother must have been beautiful for Temari was often said to look like her. It was the thought of him that reminded her that she couldn't run away no matter how much she wanted to. She was prepared though and hid a kunai knife under her clothes just in case she'd find herself in an uncomfortable predicament. Clutching her fan tightly between her fingers they made it across the courtyard to the other side and stopped in front of a screen door.

"Young Lord! Mistress Temari of the sand has arrived for lunch!" The old woman sounded like she was barking rather than being courteous.

"Enter!" The young man on the other end sounded like he was wheezing and out of breath just be saying that word. There was a reason why. When the doors open, sitting up on a pillow that was now flattened like a mat was the very plump and daft looking son of the Feudal Lord. Plump was actually a kind word for him because according to Temari, she could see the clothes about ready to pop off of him and his sausage fingers were resting comfortably on his stomach. He looked about her age although the fat on his cheeks gave him a slightly youthful appearance and made his eyes look almost non existent. When he saw her, his little pupils got wide and he giggled with delight and Temari had to hide her utter disgust behind her fan. "Ohhh! You must be the Temari girl my godmother was talking about….why, you look so sweet I can have you for desert!"

_Touch me and you'll be eating through a tube…_

"Guys! Get in here!"

For some reason, she couldn't remember why that name sounded so familiar and behind her fan tried to figure out which direction they would come from. Behind the young man opened two doors that blended into the wall and out came a muscular and tanned man with jet black hair and orange eyes. His mouth was covered by a green scarf and he wore a black tunic with grey pants. She noticed he wore a Sand headband tied around the leg of his pants. He came out as if he didn't see her at all and stood facing the Feudal Lord's son. Who came out from other door had her almost ducking out of site for gliding inside was a white haired shinobi with a long braid down his back, sparkling sky blue eyes and a calming smile. They both looked at each other with the most startled expression.

_Kaito?..._


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18: Two sides of the coin**

Lunch that day was awkward to say that least. Temari spent most of her time hiding her face behind her sensu fan as she looked on at the Feudal Lord son Mahito devour every morsel of food that was placed in front of him. Scarfing down 20 dumplings, 3 bowls of rice, half a steamed duck and 7 pork ribs made her want to gouge her eyes out. Not to mention all of the potent smells made her absolutely sick to her stomach and she had to do all she could to suppress the urge to vomit onto the finely decorated table.

"Lady Temari! You haven't touched a thing! I know you ladies like to watch your weight so I'll just take that for you!" Mahito reached over and snatched her plate of noodles like he was planning on fighting her for it.

"By all means….take it my lord…." Her sarcasm was caught by Kaito who snickered lowly.

"I'm sorry if my guards are making this lunch a bit crowded. I never do anything without them!" Temari had now pieced together that Kaito must have been under some sort of veneer as a cloud ninja when she met him but for what, she wasn't sure. "Your eyes are so pretty Lady Temari! Like a ripened aomikan! Right Kaito-kun?"

_He just compared my eyes to a fruit…._

"Yes….her eyes are beautiful." When she looked over at Kaito, he was blushing lightly out of the view of his master which made Temari quickly avert her gaze.

"Don't you try and act smooth to her Kaito-kun! She's mine! You could learn a thing or two about how to get women from me. I will teach you and _maybe _you can find someone as pretty as I did." Mahito smiled at her with chunks of rice wedged between his teeth. It was an unsightly view to which she forcefully smiled. "So tell me something about you Lady Temari! What do you do as a female shinobi? You know, I never even knew female shinobi existed!" His laughter at the thought made her want to slice his tongue off.

"I do the same duties as any male shinobi. I go on missions, file reports and help my brother in his Kazekage duties."

"Oh really? Well how do you find time to do things for women?"

"Things for women?..." Her eyes narrowed but she could see Kaito behind him pleading with her as to not to go off on the young lord for is ignorance. "I always find time to do hobbies that I enjoy….if that is what you mean…" She would spare this pig this time.

"And what is it that you like to do?"

"I enjoy training, traveling, I do shop ever so often and reading. I like many physical activities."

"You sound like you would more be my elder brother than my wife!" This sent him on another fit of laughter and Kaito begging her once more to overlook this. "I think I can handle you! You are unlike any of the girls that my father has brought to me. None of them are as strange as you are. Since I like you so much….I will tell you a secret something about me." He leaned in closer and smiled, waiting for her to follow suit but the thought of being so close to his dragon breath was so deterring that it took her a few moments. "Secretly, my guards have been training me in the ways of Shinobi. I told them I wanted to be able to protect myself and be cool like they are. So we have something in common but you must not tell my father or my godmother! You promise?"

"Um….sure…."

_So he knows somewhat about jutsu….interesting. _

"I really like you Lady Temari! You may act like a man but I know deep down you're still a woman." He gave her an obvious wink and startled her at his crude and bold comment. She was happy that lunch was about to be over and she could escape this stifling room with this, now sweating, smelly and insulting guy. "I am full now so it is time for my afternoon nap! Yasuki come with me…." The other guard had been sitting motionless the entire time. Temari spent a few minutes trying to analyze him but the more she stared, the more tense she became. Even him just being there, she could sense that his chakra level was probably as formidable as hers and so he would be someone she might have to look out for.

"Yes Master." He rose from his seat and helped Mahito to his feet and Temari almost gasped at how short he actually was. His legs were stubbed and fatty and his height made his robe drag heavily onto the floor.

"Don't let the height fool you Lady Temari. I'm still an animal." There was the wink again. "Kaito, you escort her to the gate where she may leave. I will be calling you again Lady Temari. Listen out through Lady Rie!" Kaito rose to his feet and stepped in front of her to open the screen door. Before she left, she overheard Mahito mumbling to himself. "I wonder how my godmother's sister is doing…."

_Sister?..._

There wasn't enough time to catch the rest of the conversation before Kaito escorted her out of the room. The fresh air was a much needed remedy to her uneasy stomach and so she took a deep breath before walking back through the courtyard. When they got far enough from earshot, she decided to interrogate Kaito.

"So….a cloud shinobi…"

"Heh heh….I was on a secret mission for the young lord and I didn't want to be recognized….I have a thing for disguises."

"Oh really…"

"I'm sorry Ms. Who- I mean Lady Temari. I didn't anticipate that I would see you again. I'm glad I was wrong." His smile was too charming for her look at so long. "You'll forgive me right?"

"It depends on how I feel."

"Oh please don't act that way!" Kaito was getting worked up.

"Didn't I tell you not to be so desperate around women? It's a turn off."

"Oh right! So….how are you?" He casually placed his hands behind his back and both of their paces slowed.

"I'm alright."

"You looked a little sick in there. My apologies for the young Lord's crude remarks and offensive statements." Kaito paused in his tracks and bowed very lowly. Looking around to make sure no one was watching, she rushed him to get back up.

"Don't do that! People shouldn't know that we know each other. Anyway, I'm fine….."

"Right, right!" They both began walking again. "How is it with that man?"

"What man?" Her voice had a hint of resentment.

"I can still see him in your eyes you know?" The all knowing smile irritated her. He reminded her of Gaara's look.

"There is no one."

"Maybe you two are not on good terms right now. You should try and work things out with him." That was the last straw. For once, she wanted to go somewhere where she wouldn't have to hear his name or any reference to him. It only made her confused, annoyed, hurt and tired so she slapped her fan shut and looked Kaito dead in the eyes.

"Look….there is no one so get it through your head."

"Gomennasai!" Kaito was cowering in fear at her intense gaze.

"And straighten up. Don't let people intimidate you so easily."

"Yes ma'am….so….what will you do if the young lord chooses to marry you?"

"I will refuse." It was a simple answer.

"But to refuse would bring dishonor to your family and might put your brother in jeopardy!"

"Don't you think I know that?! I will find some other way to save my brother."

"And if you can't…."

"Then…..I will do what I must but I have no desire to get married and not to some pumpkin of a son." Her nose wrinkled in anger but Kaito couldn't help but laugh.

"What is it?"

"You wrinkle your nose when you're angry….it's quite cute."

"Shut up." Temari quickly straightened her face as they reached the gate where her escorts were waiting to take her back to the village. They stopped a few feet short behind a thick bush.

"I guess this is it."

"Yes it is."

"I hope I can see you again Lady Temari….if not, I will keep leaving notes at the usual location. I hope you'll still want to write to me even though you found out I was fake." Kaito's eyes lowered to the ground and she couldn't help but feel sorry for him.

"Keep acting so pitiful and I just might not. If you want a woman you must balance your strength and confidence with being humble and level headed….not pitiful."

"I will keep that in mind….I wonder if that is how the man you think about is like." Before Temari could flare up and hit him with her fan, he shielded himself and ran off laughing at his escape. She shook her fist at him and gritted her teeth but that didn't scare him at all. With that carefree smile, he disappeared behind some trees and she was left standing there with her arms folded.

_That cheeky bastard…._

…

It was 2 months from when she was beckoned to that uncomfortable lunch, that she was back in Konoha for her check up with Sakura. She would probably kill her for waiting that long but things suddenly got busy in the Sand Village. The air was positively freezing and Temari half expected it to snow on her way there but lucky for her, it just remained icy. Although she was still not looking forward to it, she was in better spirits than she was the first time. Maybe now it was because she was slowly accepting the idea of becoming a mother although it still hadn't fully imprinted on her yet. Under her cloak, she had her hand on her stomach that was not jutting out a little more from her Kimono. Her obi had become loser and loser as the time went by and now she was starting to dread the sudden weight gain and the fact that her back pains probably weren't going to get any better. Since she wasn't in a rush this time, she idled a little more than usual on her journey and stopped at the inn where another letter from Kaito was dropped off. Temari decided that two was enough and that she would tell him to find another place to exchange these notes before someone got suspicious.

Dear Ms. Whoever you are,

I've decided to keep calling you that so we can keep it anonymous. You should think of a name for me! The Feudal Lord's son hasn't stopped talking and thinking about you since you've left. I guess he's really taken by you! This is great for him but I assume not for you since you don't want to marry him. If you're going to get out of this, you should think of something fast. How are you doing otherwise? Did you and that man make up so you can stop wrinkling your pretty face?

Kaito

The Cloud,

I think that's a good idea and next time you wish to contact me, leave the note the large oak tree right outside of the town. There is a root sticking up that you can put it under. That last thing I need is some kid, sorry to say, drooling over me. I don't have time for that. I will also think of something soon so don't worry about me. I'm doing alright. Everything is as it usually is. There is no one to make up with so stop insisting.

W

Remembering the letter from Kaito only made her peeved at his constant badgering. There was already a lot going on in her life so adding his reminders into the mix wasn't helping.

"Lady Temari! Back again?! I knew you loved us!" Izumo jumped over the gate keeper's table and began to walk beside her.

"Fat chance." Temari kept walking at her steady pace.

"Well if you're not here for us then you must be here for-" Kotetsu appeared beside her but was quickly cut off by the sound of a bellowing and powerful female voice coming from one of the side streets.

"KOTETSU! IZUMO! GET BACK TO WORK!" It was Lady Tsunade standing with her hands pasted to her hips and a deathly stare at both of them.

"Is this the day we die Izumo?..." Kotetsu was almost shaking next to her as they both looked on in fear.

"Not if we make it back to the gate before she catches us!" Izumo gulped and they both took off running back to the unmanned station and hid behind the counter.

"Good morning Lady Tsunade." Temari admired that woman above most other Shinobi. She screamed respect even when she did nothing but appear in the area.

"Temari. Welcome back to the village." Tsunade walked up to her with her eyes still glancing at the two shinobi hiding behind the counter. "I will deal with the both of you later!"

"Heaven help us!" Izumo cried out and Tsunade turned back to Temari.

"Thank you."

"Your desk isn't very full this month and relations have been going smoothly so I can assume that you're not here for business…."

"Well…"

"No matter. Enjoy your stay." Tsuande began to walk off with her light blonde pigtails swinging swiftly behind her. "I will be sending out invitations next month for Naruto's Kage induction so you and your brother should be on the lookout."

"Yes ma'am."

"And Temari…"

"Yes Lady Tsunade?"

"Last I heard, Shikamaru was at the Standby Station." Without so much as a glance in her direction again, Tsunade continued on her way to wherever she was headed. Temari was left speechless and bewildered at the unsuspected comment.

_What's with everyone?!_

With a smug on her face, Temari continued on into the city towards the hospital where she was suppose to meet Sakura in half an hour's time. The more she thought about it, the more she began to get excited at seeing her baby again on that ultrasound screen, hearing it's heartbeat and being reminded again of how strong yet fragile it was. She wished she could have taken pictures the last time to show Gaara but she was right in refusing. If someone found out, she'd be dead. As she passed through the busy streets, she saw up on top of one of the buildings, a pair of brown twin hair buns and a girl in a white and maroon cloak sitting alone. If Temari wasn't so perceptive, she probably wouldn't have noticed her up there. At first she was just going to keep going because she had no time and very little interest right now to be involved in any one else's affairs but she couldn't help but find it odd that she was up there alone.

"I'm going to kick myself for this later…" Trying to make it not seem so obvious, Temari took the stairs inside the building instead of simply scaling the sides onto the roof. "Tenten."

The girl looked up in surprise and quickly wiped her face when she saw Temari staring at her from the doorway. "Oh….Hey Temari…" She didn't have her usual hopeful attitude and that gutsy smile on her face. Gathering from the redness of her eyes, Temari knew she had interrupted her in the middle of crying. "Kinda a bad time…"

"What's with the tears?..." Sitting beside her on the edge of the roof, she bundled herself up more as a cool breeze came by. "Damnit it's cold…"

"It' nothing really…I'm just being a stupid girl." Temari pinpointed exactly what the problem was.

"What happened with Neji?..." Once she asked that question, she braced herself for the flood of chatter that would stir up around her ears and got comfortable.

"I don't understand him at all! I'm trying my best to get him to notice me but no matter what I do he just freakin brushes everything off! I'm so sick of it and I'm sick of seeing all of my friends get guys so easily! I mean, Sakura and Sasuke may be hot and cold right now but at least she gets some action. Sai is too curious as to not notice Ino. Hinata and Naruto are practically attached at the hip and then there's you and sh-"

"Don't even…"

"Ok….well you know what I mean! Why is it that all of you guys found someone and here I am lonely and pitiful and the only guy I would ever consider is to mature to look at someone like me!" Her blubbering began again and Tenten blew her nose loudly in a tissue she had in her lap.

"Tenten…"

"I mean! I know I'm not pretty or super cute or anything!"

"Tenten…."

"But hey! I'm strong and I have guts and I'm a good fighter! I have a great personality!"

"Tenten!" Temari almost wanted to shake her. "Get it together! I really wasn't in the mood for conversation but I am definitely not in the mood for a pity party. It's irritating."

"Ok." She blew her nose one more time and dried her eyes. It was now bestowed up Temari, unwelcomingly, to help Tenten sort out her little issue.

"How long have you known Neji?"

"Well…we were in academy together so I guess 11 years now but we've only been teammates for 6…."

"And out of those years, what have you learned about Neji?"

"He can be a dick sometimes….."

"Besides that."

"He's really mature and confident. He's powerful and always wants to be the best. He's not very good and showing emotions and he's one of those logical thinkers that takes things as they are…"

"Alright so what does that mean?"

"He needs…..and older woman!" Tenten began to fret again.

"It's like talking to concrete…No….think Tenten."

"I duno!...Wait….I got it!"

"Maybe you're not so dense after all."

"It's my look! Neji takes things as they are and as I am, I'm nothing but a tomboyish, immature, plain jane so that means I need to be the opposite!"

"Wait what?" Temari didn't understand how she came to this conclusion when the answer was so obvious.

"That's it! I need a new look! A more mature look….something feminine and sexy! So when Neji sees me, his logic will only lead him to take me seriously as a woman and not just his teammate." Tenten was so enamored by her idea that Temari realized that it was best she say nothing and let Tenten learn on her own. It was better that way and less work for her.

"Sure Tenten. That's it."

"Hey! Can you come to my apartment tonight! I'm going to call all the other girls too because you guys know more about being girly than I do."

"Me?"

"Well yea. You're the most mature one out of all of us and your experience with guys would really help. Anyone that managed to catch the attention of that sloth Shikamaru who doesn't care much about anything has some skill…"

_There we go again…_

In a flash, Tenten had leaped from the top of the building onto the streets below, scaring a few of the villagers. "I'll see you tonight Temari!"

"I haven't agreed to anything!" She called down to her but it was too late. That girl was already too high off of her own thoughts as she ran down the street to even hear her. "Well there goes staying in…"

Temari was already going to be late so she hurried on to the hospital that was still a few minute's walk in the cold. Huddled tightly under her cloak, she went through the backdoor of the hospital and crept up the quiet stairs. She had hoped Sakura didn't tell Shikamaru about her appointment because in all honesty, she didn't want to see him. It started to hurt more to even think about him. When the image of his arms wrapped around that frilly little girl crept it's way in it made her sicker than any smell of garbage or rotten food. It wasn't jealous, or so she thought, but she justified it as anger that his priorities probably weren't with raising his kid and more with chasing the skirts of whatever woman caught his eye. Everyone had been insisting on the two of them being the ideal pair but it was only Temari that got to see the stains on the "spotless" cloak of their relationship. When she finally made it upstairs, she found Sakura's office by the sound of her laughter coming from the door.

"Sakura." Temari knocked.

"Oh Temari! Come in!" Upon opening the door, low and behold she was met with her doom sitting lazily in the chair with one arm resting on the top and the other being a prop for his head. He looked at her casually before greeting.

"Hey."

"Hi."

"Oh you two stop it!" When Temari came in, she closed the door behind her and positioned herself in the chair as far from him as possible. "So! I have good news today!" Sakura's chipper demeanor foiled the sulky atmosphere. "Since you're past your 18 weeks, I can actually tell you what you're having."

"The gender…" Temari opened her cloak and looked down while everyone's eyes followed her.

"Ah! You're starting to show."

"I know…" With a sigh she leaned back a little more to easy her back.

"Has anyone else found out?" Shikamaru was gazing at her belly as if he was calculating the circumference of her pouch.

"No….I think I can handle keeping a secret like that."

"Just asking. So…let's do this."

"Alright! I'll go get the equipment and be right back." Sakura left them alone in still room. Temari directed her gaze elsewhere to try and keep from making any contact with Shikamaru beside her.

"I'll be screwed if it's a girl…"

"You were screwed the moment you found out I was having a baby in the first place."

"I wasn't….just surprised."

"Whatever….you know nothing about girls so I don't expect you to actively raise her if it is one."

"I'll be there regretless of the gender Temari but you're right. I don't know a lot about women but it's because I choose to not learn….woman can be a drag…."

"You'd know."

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?"

"Exactly what you think." Temari's tongue could easily keep up with him so this exercise was nothing.

"Whatever….troublesome…" He stuck a piece of gum in his mouth and bit it strongly. It was very unlike him to be a gum chew gum so she found this very odd. "Despite what you may think of me….I'll be a father to my kid."

"We'll see what the baby comes how much of your precious energy you'll put into parenting…" Just then, Sakura came back into the room. Temari was so flustered that she couldn't even get excited that she was about to find out the sex of her first baby. It was suppose to be an exciting moment.

"You know the drill Temari!" Temari undressed herself again but a lot bolder this time, not really caring if he was watching her again. In fact, she kinda wanted him to. She placed the cover over her chest as Sakura placed the gel on the end of the sensor and turned the machine on. "Let's see here…." Sakura made that same twisted face while she glided the instrument over Temari's bare stomach. The amount of times she had looked at it, she had never noticed just how big she was getting. Maybe it was the angle. Her eyes darted from Sakura's hand to the picture on the screen until she heard the loud beating coming from the monitor. "There's it's little heartbeat again. Man, it's so strong!" Temari's irritation broke when it touched her ears and she sighed in relief that the baby was alright. From the glare of the monitor, she saw Shikamaru's face change from his usual dull expression to a tiny smile and his eyes softened at the sudden picture of his child that appeared. It was moving back and forth against the background while Sakura tried to get a clearer picture. "And…" Temari was on edge at this point to find out exactly what she'd be having. The images of yellow little girl booties and tan baby boy onezies came flashing through her mind and she began planning how she would decorate their room and what color clothes to buy them, the tint of blonde in her daughter's hair or the deep brown like Shikamaru's. She wondered what color their eyes would be or who's smile they would have and it was like she got sucked into a high that made her loopy.

"Shikamaru…..Temari…..you both are now proud parents of a strong, bright and bouncing….baby boy."


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19: In the open**

"Ok everyone! I brought-umpf- a lot of stuff…" Ino dragged in a heavy black duffle bag into the living room of Tenten's apartment as the girls gathered that night.

"What the hell is all this?" Tenten tried to figure out from the jingling and shuffling inside what could possibly be inside.

"Everything you need to change your look." Ino gave her a thumbs up while Tenten just sat in the middle of the floor probably wondering if this was all such a good idea after all. Temari was extremely reluctant to come but seeing as how she met Ino on the way there and was practically dragged in along with the bag, there wasn't much she could do. While she watched Tenten look absolutely frightened as Ino opened the large bag of hair products, makeup, jewelry and clothes, she couldn't help but sigh at this whole ordeal. It would fail but it was up to Tenten to realize it.

_I guess those who can't hear….will feel…. _

Sakura looked on from beside Tenten and scoffed at the content in the bag. "You really don't need all this stuff when you have natural beauty."

"I guess you must really need all this stuff then Sakura." Ino's clever comment got her a prompt scolding.

Hinata shuffled over shyly from couch across from Temari. "T-Tenten…..are you sure you're ready for so much makeup? It all looks so complicated…."

"Even if she isn't, it's too late to back down now!" Tenten gulped at Ino's statement. "First we'll start out with doing something about your hair."

"What's wrong with my hair?!" She held her buns tightly in her hands.

"It's sooo outdated! The last person I saw wear buns was the first Hokage's wife."

"And she looked beautiful with them!" Sakura chimed in.

"She did but imagine how much better she would look if she wore her hair _down_." Ino slid behind Tenten and pried her hands off of her hair. "Hold her hands Hinata!"

"O-Ok. Sorry Tenten…." Hinata grabbed her hands as Ino unraveled her brunette locks that fell beautifully down the middle of her back. There were deep waves and curls in them from always being kept wrapped up but it only enhanced it's healthiness.

"Hm. Not bad." Temari looked on at how even the smallest change made her look drastically different.

"See! You look amazing!" Ino ran her fingers through it.

Tenten begged. "Can see myself in the mirror please?"

"Not until we're done! Sakura can you please plug in my straightener and curling iron?"

"Yea, yea….I still think this is all so unnecessary. You can let go of her hands Hinata." Sakura did as she was told but not cheerfully.

"Do you think Neji will like me with my hair down? I feel so…weird…" Tenten ran her hands through it as if her hair was made of some magically substance that would soon disappear.

"As hard as Neji is, he's still a guy." Ino grabbed a bag of different variations of foundation. "And guys are primarily ruled by sight."

Temari couldn't deny that Ino had a point. "Looks like you all don't need my help because Ino seems to have everything down packed." Temari was itching to go because not only was it getting hot and she couldn't take off her cloak for fear one of them would see her baby bump, but she was also getting very tired and hungry.

"No Temari! Stay! Ino may know a thing or too but…." She could tell from when Ino moved away from Tenten's face ever so often that she was blushing. "I have questions about sex!" In that instant, everyone straightened up and averted their eyes from the questioner.

"So…Temari….How's work going?" Sakura tried her best to diffuse the situation.

"Fine." Temari was well versed in the art of physical encounters but she never dreamed of discussing her experiences with anyone or giving anyone advice on that matter.

"That's great-"

"Sakura stop trying to change the subject. I'm serious! I think I'm the only one here who's still a virgin!" Tenten crossed her arms and jerked which caused Ino to streak the liquid foundation onto her ear.

"Damnit Tenten! Hold still!" Ino forcefully held her face in a fixed position.

"W-well….I am still a v-virgin…." Hinata tapped her index fingers together and was beginning to turn as red as a cherry.

"Oh….well that's obvious." Tenten should have figured from the type of girl Hinata was and how strict of a clan she was in that sex outside of marriage was taboo.

"Girls let's just talk about something else. Really….I'm not in the mood." Temari rested her jaw on her hand and hoped she would have been heard. Not a chance.

"Sakura what's sex like with Sasuke?" Tenten came right out and said it with no shame.

"Um…uh….heh well…." Sakura began stumbling over her words to try detour the question.

"Oh you don't have to say anything Sakura. I saw you leave his apartment with your skirt on backwards a few weeks ago." Ino smirked.

"Ino! You little twit!"

"Is he rough? Did it hurt? I heard once you start, it's really hard to stop."

Temari began to count back to the last time she had a good roll in the sheets.

_4 months….no wonder I'm so moody…Come to think of it, it's been 3 months since I've had a decent drink as well…_

Then again, if she hadn't have opened her legs, she probably wouldn't be in this situation of being pregnant and having to hide away like a frightened woodland animal. It was just a matter of time before anyone found out and besides going in labor, that was what she was dreading.

"Is that true Temari?" She was so deep in her thoughts that she almost didn't hear Tenten speak to her. "Temari?"

"What?"

"Is it true that it's hard to stop having sex when you start?" When she looked at Tenten's face, she had to give Ino props again. Her skin was an extremely smooth tan that resembled satin fabric. She was beginning to look a lot older than she usually did.

"In a way…..It all depends on the person."

"I'm sure you're strong enough to start and stop whenever you want. I don't know how you managed to do it with Shikamaru though…he's so lazy that I can image sleeping with him is probably like trying to have sex with a dead guy. He probably just lays there right?"

_Ha….you couldn't be any more off…._

"Speaking of Shikamaru, he's been acting really weird lately. He's so tense and he looks so tired. He even snapped on Choji a few days ago and he _never_ does that. Choji is his best friend! He's also been chewing gum….that weirdo."

_Hm. That is strange…_

Temari wanted to divert the subject away from that sloth of a shinobi. "Why are you so interested in sex all of a sudden Tenten?" Now that she thought about, it was a very odd subject to bring up so randomly.

"Well…..I just want to be prepared for when my time comes. I guess I feel so behind everyone."

"Don't rush anything. Sex is not something you do because you want to keep up with people. It's something you do when you're ready with someone that you feel you can do it with. Besides…it's fun and all but it can lead to some serious consequences…."

"L-like getting pregnant." Ino handed Hinata the straightener to which she began to run through Tenten's hair.

"And not to mention diseases. There are a lot of people out there who are unaware of what they have and how dangerous some STD's can be. Everyone who is sexual active should get tested so as to not spread them and use protection whenever necessary. We are trying to start a campaign in the hospital to alert people about it….it's hard though because it's one of those hush-hush topics."

"Sakura you sound like the spokeswoman for condoms." Ino laughed. "I wouldn't know though…I'm still a virgin too believe or not."

"You _are_ Ino?" Tenten sounded shocked to which Ino was unsure if she should take it offensively.

"Yea. I'm waiting on a certain someone who will hopefully get his nose out of those damn 'How to' books." That person was so obvious. "Now hold still while I put your eyeshadow on. You're gonna hit Neji harder than any jutsu!"

"I don't know what I'd do if I ever got close to sleeping with Neji….I mean….I'm sure he's so experienced and I'm just living in kid land." With a frown, Tenten hung her head and Ino ended up spreading eyeshadow into her hair line.

"Stay still Tenten or so help me!"

"If Neji is a gentleman….he'll let you choose what you want to do Tenten. If not, drop the asshole and move on before you get hooked…" Sakura must have sensed why Temari said that and gave her an exasperated look.

"I really hope this will work. I mean….I'm starting to really like him. I don't know why but maybe it's because I've seen him grow and open up so much because of everything. Not to mention, ever since he came out of the hospital he just looks so…different." Tenten's eyes were practically sparkling.

"Don't get caught up in the thrill Tenten. Neji may have changed but there might still be more changing to do. Don't always judge a book by it's cover because you never truly know someone until the situation changes. " More words of advice Temari wished she could have told herself months ago.

"You sound so sad Temari….A-are you ok?" Hinata was now working on curling the brown strands into perfect ringlets.

"I'm fine."

The night went on with more talks about guys but then the subject changed to the war where things got grim and serious. Then they chatted about their futures and the events that were happening in Konoha. Everyone seemed to be excited about Naruto's upcoming induction as the youngest Hokage in Konoha history. They all agreed he was well deserving of the title. Then it shifted to Hinata.

"Hinata, soon you might be Ms. Uzumaki. Are you ready?" Ino was putting on the finishing touches of Tenten's lipgloss.

"I-I'm not sure Naruto is ready for marriage….I am happy the way things are whether he wants to or not…" Temari could tell that Hinata was fully prepared to be with Naruto, even if it meant always being his girlfriend.

"Have some backbone Hinata! We all know you want to marry him so have some courage. That idiot better propose to you soon or I'll hurt him." Ino showed her resolve with a clenched fist which only frightened Hinata.

"She's not serious Hinata but I'm sure when the time is right, both of you will know how you want to live in the future. You deserve to be happy." Sakura gave her a hopeful smile.

"Thank you Sakura…"

"Alright! Your face is done Tenten." Ino stepped back while everyone gathered around to look. Hinata was smiling, Sakura was absolutely surprised, Ino gave her a thumbs up and Temari simply sat there and smirked.

_She's in for way more than she bargained for….but at least she looks nice…_

She wondered how long it would take Tenten to realize how to really get Neji to notice her. Although Tenten was naïve, she was still smart so she would probably catch on soon enough.

"Can I look in the mirror now?"

"No! We have to change your clothes." Another part of the bag was unzipped and Ino pulled out a brand new outfit.

"I-Isn't that revealing?" Hinata was blushing at the sight of the dress sprawled out on the ground.

"She's probably going to be cold." Sakura used her hand to cover up the large dip in the top part.

"Oh boy…." Temari wasn't sure Tenten could handle wearing something like that without looking like a tiger trying to squeeze into a kitten costume.

"I don't think I have enough boob for that!" Tenten quickly covered her chest in protest.

"I'll be the judge of that." Ino grabbed Tenten's hands and pulled them apart. "Hinata hold her hands!"

"Hai!"

"What the hell are you doing?!" Tenten was squirming and jerking all over the place.

"Don't be so rough!" Sakura was watching from a distance.

Temari did nothing but wince at the entire scene as Ino undid her shirt and that's when everyone gasped in unison. "Tenten you have a bigger chest than I do!" Ino was baffled because underneath her shirt was cloth that was wrapped many times around her bra to bind her heavy breasts to her body. "You've been binding your boobs!"

"Well yea because they're just so clumsy and hard to deal with!" Tenten managed to wriggle her way out of Hinata's hands.

"Looks like everyone is more endowed than I am." Sakura's look of despair made Temari let out an accidental chuckle.

"Sorry Sakura."

"Well at least we have something to work with." Ino stripped a resistant Tenten down and forcefully held her long enough to re-dress her in the outfit she had brought for her. The dress was a white Qipao with maroon trimming with a similar color scheme to Tenten's orginal shirt and pants outfit. There was a floral design in black that shimmered against the silk outfit and helped the coordination stand out. The neck of the dress was the traditional neckline but the breast area was cut into the shape of a diamond with a maroon sweetheart neckline shirt that covered that part but just enough to give her some cleavage. The qipao came mid thigh with a split at the side but to make Tenten a little more comfortable and a little less cold, Ino gave her a pair of black tights underneath.

"Ohh I did good…" Ino stood back with the others to admire her work.

"You look so out of your element Tenten." Sakura was watching her hands that shielded her chest from view.

"Y-you look so much more adult…." Hinata was using her own jacket to cover herself tighter.

"I hope you're ready for what's to come Tenten." Temari chuckled as she predicted the many scenarios that could come out of an 18 year old Kunoichi dressed like she was in her experienced twenties.

"I feel like a hooker! I can't do this!" She began to scramble for her clothes but Ino quickly grabbed her and started to shake her.

"Stop it Tenten! Have some confidence! What you need to do is act like you know exactly what you're doing!"

"But I don't! This was a horrible idea…." She collapsed in on herself in a heap.

"That's it! We're not waiting any longer. We're taking you out right now! Everyone grab your things!"

"Not now! I'm not ready now!"

"Maybe we should wait because she really doesn't look ready Ino." Sakura couldn't help but give a sheepish look.

"Do you think I should go Temari?"

"Yea we'll leave it up to Temari!" Ino turned everyone's attention to Temari who was sitting quietly on the couch filing her nails and hoping she would just blend into the scenery.

"Leave me out of this. It's up to you Tenten. I'm feeling tired anyway so I think I'll be heading home." Temari happily rose up from her seat but not without feeling a twinge of her usual back pain. It was a small shame that she had to leave because Tenten's plush sofa was growing quite comfortable.

"Aw come on Temari. Don't be a wet blanket." With pursed lips, Ino crossed her arms but a little to hard because the pair of earrings intended for Tenten within her palms went flying out onto the cream colored carpet. "Oh geez! Those are diamond studs! Everyone help me look for them or my mom will kill me."

Before everyone got down on their hands and knees to look for the jewelry that basically blended into the carpet, Hinata interjected with a better idea.

"I can use my byakuugan to find it….it might make it easier."

"That would save us some trouble." Sakura stepped back along with everyone else but Temari stepped back even further to stay out of the view of Hinata's piercing eyes. If they could sense chakra, see through objects and project for a great distance, who knows what she would see if she even glanced at her stomach. The chance was slim if she stayed out of her way but that was not a risk she was willing to take. Sakura must have sensed it too because she began to shuffle in Temari's direction.

"Byakuugan!" Those white eyes hardened and the veins around them popped out as she scanned the area for the extremely small twin objects. Temari watched her eyes intently, trying to map out their expected path and Sakura tried to move even quicker through the group of girls and around the furniture. Hinata's eyes were fast though and Temari wasn't expecting her to change directions so quickly. Sakura was about a step away when those white eyes diverted up at Temari and didn't even give her enough time to move. That was all she wrote because right then and there Hinata gasped but before she could stutter out a word, Temari jumped over the couch and shoved her into the open guest bathroom in the living room. Where was this burst of energy when she needed it a few seconds ago? Hinata screamed as she flew inside and Temari locked the door behind her. The poor girl was cowering in fear by the toilet as Temari looked down seriously.

"Look….you are to say _nothing_ Hinata…Do you understand me?" Hinata was shaking as she nodded her head slowly. "You're a very sweet girl so I will trust you but if a word of this gets out to anybody-"

"Temari! What the hell is going on?" Tenten was pounding on the door.

"Nothing! I thought I saw a spider on poor Hinata and I was a little too forceful in getting it off. Give us a moment please…"

"Oh my gosh your house has bugs Tenten?!" Ino must have been creeped out on the other end of the door while Sakura tried to provide a cover.

"I probably brought it in from outside. The trees by my apartment still have a few leaves that those things could be hiding in….heh heh…"

"Not a word Hinata…" Temari gave her an ever graver look through those green eyes.

"I p-promise. B-but Temari how long have you known?"

"3 months now….I'm about to be 5 months…."

"Who's the father?..." Hinata was whispering so low that Temari had to strain to hear her through the commotion on the other end of the door.

"Take a wild guess Hinata…" It took the girl a few moments before her eyes widen like dinner plates.

"Shikamaru… Does he know?..."

"Yea and so does Sakura and that's _all _the people who will know until I feel like saying anything but I will be the only one saying anything got it?"

"Y-yes Temari…" She began to feel like a bit of a bully for doing this to Hinata so she helped her up off the floor and fixed her clothes.

"Sorry….I just…" She sighed. "I just really don't want word getting out because it could cause a lot of problems. I'm trying to figure everything out and I will…but I just need more time."

"Hai…well…congratulations." Temari remembered how endearing Hinata was so she couldn't stay stern with her for very long.

"Thanks. You're one of three people now who actually think this baby is a good thing…."

"Baby?! Who's having a baby?!" Ino interrupted from the other side and Temari jumped and pressed her face against the door.

"No one Ino so quit it!" Sakura was doing her best to try and cover up the situation.

"I'm not crazy! I know I heard something about a baby! Didn't you hear it too Tenten?!"

"Yep." Tenten's affirmation was making the situation worse.

"We were just happy to know that the spider on Hinata wasn't a pregnant one that would give birth all over her face. Don't worry everyone!" Temari gritted her teeth from the other side and was almost sweating from the close call.

"Don't lie to me!" That Ino was persistent. "I know that's not what you guys were talking about! I'm coming in!"

"Ino leave them!" Sakura must have been guarding the door.

"If you break my door you'll be paying for it!" Tenten also sounded in protest to Ino barging in.

"Move Sakura!" With one fail swoop, Ino managed to charge the door down with her shoulder. Temari had just enough time to leap away before it smacked her and land on her toes on the edge of the bathtub. The one hand she used to balance herself that was in the air must have moved her cloak away and her position didn't help hide the rounding of her stomach through her black Kimono.

"Temari!" Ino covered her mouth and Tenten came in right beside her with her head turned to the side on confusion.

"Why are you so fat?" Tenten was completely and utterly clueless.

"She's not fat!" Ino pushed her closer to Temari. "She's pregnant!"

_Wonderful…. _

…_._

The previous night was full of endless questions, pokes to her stomach, squeals of excitement and the planning of a baby shower that Temari promised to purposely avoid. The last thing she needed was something to draw more attention to her predicament but Ino was very obstinate and began planning the entire event much to Temari's refusal. This whole situation proved somewhat detrimental to Temari but Tenten found it lucky because everyone forgot that she was suppose to be paraded around like a prized trophy until Ino sharply reminded her that she would be going out tomorrow. As she went to bed that night, she thought she would feel more of a burden that the word was out to more people but she actually felt a bit of a relief that around them she didn't have to hide in a corner or put up a front like she had to do with the outside. It didn't alleviate the problems she had but it did allow her to relax a little.

That day, Shikamaru stopped by her house to tell her that he wanted to see her later on at night at his apartment. The last thing she wanted to do was spend any more time with him than necessary but she figured it must have been important for him want to meet with her. Ever since she found out she was pregnant, she hadn't been over his place and other than seeing him at her appointment, on the street and that one time he came over, she didn't see him at all.

_It's better this way…._

That night, she sat in his quiet apartment on the couch with her arms outstretched. Soon she would be unable to cross her legs but for the time being, she relished that and also that she could still see her feet. She watched him through the glare of the sliding glass door shuffle things around in the kitchen but neither of them said a word to each other. All she could do was wonder why he called her here and wonder even more why she came. No matter how much she didn't want to see him, she always found herself answering to him like he had her on a leash. The thought gave her a bitter taste in her mouth. At least her surroundings were calming. His apartment was very simple looking. There was a large blue couch that faced the balcony, a wood table in the center with a few books he was reading. In the corner was a green arm chair with a tall lamp that stretched overhead and a beautiful painting of the Nara compound on a summer day on the wall above the chair. Above her was a wooden fan with lights attached and even though it wasn't dusty, it didn't look like it was used much. The carpet was almost a new looking cream color, like Tenten's, that stretched all the way into his room. Behind her was a small wooden dining room table that sat 4 and the kitchen behind that with a bar area. Nothing really stood out and it probably took at most a minute to observe everything in the house, a complete foil of her own finely decorated abode. It was this simpleness that always made her feel comfortable here whenever she would spend her days and nights wrapped up in his comforter. It was only at his place could she sleep for hours and not feel like she was on a time scale or spend her nights drinking with feeling judged or pressured. They both were so comfortable in their vices of alcohol, tobacco, crude language and pre-marital intercourse that it outside of that time everything else seemed like an act. The only thing she found annoying was his alarm clock that he was always "too far away from" to turn off right away and she certainly was not going to do it when he was clearly closer. That was probably the only thing they went back and forth about until things changed. Now here they are, two people barely on the cusp of adulthood preparing to bring a child into the world that neither of them anticipated and their relationship would never be the same again.

"I made gyudon…"

"I'm not hungry….I ate already." Over her shoulder she saw a hand holding out a glass of water. Feeling thirsty was becoming a common symptom of first so a glass of water was welcomed, even from him. She took it casually.

He made his way around the sofa and sat in front of her on the wooden table, leaning back onto his hands. "You look tired."

"I'm fine….I've been drinking that tea." As much as she didn't want to admit it, the tea he gave was her was exactly what she needed to sleep at nights. "Thank you." She turned away from him to avoid the air of complete gratefulness.

"It must be too early for him to start moving around…."

"Next month I should start to feel something…although I do feel pressure every once and a while." She found the idea of something summersaulting inside of the pelvis quite odd.

He popped some more of that gum in his mouth. "You'll let me know…." His brown eyes also looked in another direction. "when he starts moving…."

Temari's head cocked to the side with a narrowed expression at his request. "Why do you wanna know?"

"I just heard that…if he doesn't move by a certain time then something could be wrong…I read it….in a book."

"Well I assure you…if something ever goes wrong I'll be the one to know." She stomped on his attempt to try and warm up to the thought of having a baby.

"Damnit Temari…" He muttered under his breath.

"What the hell is it now?..."

"Can't you let me off the hook just once? I mean I'm trying to make an effort to be a part of this but all you fucking do is push me away like I'm some sort of dead beat. I keep telling you that I'm not like that and whether we're together or not….that's _my_ son as much as it is yours."

"Yea well I don't buy any of that bullshit you're trying to sell. I don't know if it's guilt or wanting to impress people when they find out, which by the way, the Ino, Hinata and Tenten know now….but I don't want someone like that playing father to my kid."

"I don't get you women at all. I haven't done anything to you. I mean, just a few months ago you were rolling around on my mattress edging me on…or was that your way of being fake as well?"

"Fuck you." She glared right into his brown eyes and would have gone through the back of his head of her eyes were lasers.

"That's how this all started."

"I wish I never met your sorry ass Shikamaru! Even if I was meant to get pregnant, I wish it was by someone else! I wish I would've met Kaito before you and maybe there would have been a chance that this baby would have been his!"

"Well it's not!' He slammed his fist on the desk, creating cracks that spread through to the other end. "It's me!" She had never heard him raise his voice like that and the veins were popping out of his clenched fist. When she looked into his eyes, she saw the indifference diffuse into the narrowness of his expression and change into a deep and painful anger.

"You know what? I don't have to stand here and take this shit! I'm leaving! You no good lazy bastard!"

"Fine! Leave! See if I give a shit!"

"Rot in hell!" Temari grabbed her tessen as she stormed out the door and slammed it behind her. As she went down the lonely hallway she could feel her pulse racing and her head was beginning to throb. All she could think about was all the things she wanted to say to him, how much she disdain she had for his existence and the regret that she even met him in the first place. Not only did she feel the red hot fury but she placed her hand over her chest and felt the aching of her heart for even thinking that they could exist in that fantastical world they created. Reality wasn't beautiful but merely had a face that blended in with all the others. She was never a woman to raise her voice because her words alone had power enough but with him it was only matched with equal force so she was always at an impass with him. If there was one thing for sure, she never wanted to see his face again. No matter how much it would hurt when she looked into the eyes of a child who might look strinkinhly similar, she would never want to remember him at all.

_I don't need him! I can do this alone!_

Temari was about to turn to head down the flight of stairs when she rammed right into someone coming up, she was so much in a daze that she didn't look where she was going and saw someone tumble down to the end. "Watch it!" Just as she was about the go down herself, she heard the voice from the person who fell. That perky voice that made her skin feel like it was infested with those bugs that Shino kid carried with him.

"Wait! Please don't go! Can we talk?..."


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: I took the time to re-read chapter 17 and I realized that it said that Kaito was wearing a leaf headband. He is actually suppose to be wearing a Sand Headband because if he is protecting the Sand feudal Lord then he would have to be a sand Shinobi. I apologize for any confusion and will make it clear that Kaito and Shikamaru are too different people. Gomen.**

**Chapter 19: Coming to terms**

"I guess I should start off by introducing myself. It took all the courage to buck up and talk to you and I don't even tell you my name! Ha!" A set of stairs was not a place Temari envisioned on having a conversation with a girl she couldn't help but want to stay away from but so far she had been very polite. "My name is Kae." The girl gave her a perfectly white smile and stuck her hand out. Temari merely looked up at her and back at her hand, deciding if she should even bother with the friendly gesture but the girl looked to oblivious to notice that she wasn't interested. She shook her hand awkwardly regardless.

"I'm not in a position to disclose my name." The last thing Temari wanted was someone knowing about her, Shikamaru and that little secret that was becoming less and less of a secret.

"Oh I already know who you are. You're Lady Temari." The girl smiled again and Temari gave a puzzled expression as to how this girl knew who she was. Then again, anyone who fought in the war knew she was the Kazekage's sister so the word probably spread. This just complicated things. "I'm from Suna as well."

"What?"

The girl lifted up her long sleeved red jacket to show her Suna headband that was being used as a belt. "I'm still a chunin and you're so high up so that's probably why you don't know me at all. I'm just a nobody." For being "a nobody" she sure was proud of it.

"Ok…."

"You were just coming from Shikamaru's house huh? You guys hang out a lot! I'm so jealous." The girl squeezed Temari's hand and the physical contact made her stiffen and want to pull away.

"Um…"

"Oh that's ok! I won't tell. Hehe. You guys seem to be pretty low key people and I'm good at keeping secrets."

"Thanks?" This whole conversation was really strange and Temari just wanted to go home.

"I'm really sorry I bumped into you. I was just going to his house to deliver some cookies I made at my grandfather's. I'm here for a few months for a mini vacation and to help him out around his shop. It's supppeerr busy this time of year with the holidays coming up and Naruto's Kage induction. He travels a lot for business but it's been picking up here so he decided to stay put for a while."

"It's fine…."

"I know you probably don't want to talk to me….you looked pretty mad coming from his apartment…" The girl turned her eyes away and began to glide her fingers down her smooth green hair. Although Temari didn't want to admit it, she was actually a pretty girl. "Did you two fight?"

"No…no…everything's fine." Temari rubbed her shins that were starting to ice up from the cold and wrapped her cloak around herself tighter.

"Oh good. I wish I was you. Shikamaru doesn't usually let me in his house but you probably get to go in whenever you want. I guess that was part of the deal…me not getting into his personal space." Her eyes looked rather disappointed when she said it and Temari felt a hint of pity for her and anger at Shikamaru for possibly toying with this girl's emotions. It was clear she was still young and innocent, knowing very little about how to play the game with men. Temari herself was still learning but she gathered a lot along the way. One of them was to never come off so needy. The fact that she mentioned a deal though, struck her curiosity.

"A…deal?"

"Yea….well you see since I am here alone and I won't be back in Suna until after the induction, my grandfather hired Shikamaru to keep me company because he sensed that I really liked him I guess. I thought he wouldn't be into chaperoning some strange chunin girl but he took the job willingly because he struck a deal with my grandfather. I'm not too sure what they agreed on."

_So this…..whole time….being with her was a mission….._

Temari didn't know what to make of it or what to make of herself. She began to feel the burn of embarrassment for thinking ill towards the girl and malicious thoughts towards Shikamaru when he was simply carrying out orders. Thinking of what she said to him back there, she felt a little bad about her accusations and the words they exchanged. Although she did feel he was still partially an unfit parent, she admitted that she made some low blows about his overall character that was unwarranted. "Oh…."

_I am such an idiot…_

"I'm really sorry if I caused you two any trouble."

"It's fine…we're not together…."

"You're not? I thought you were but I guess I'm not very observant. I definitely don't think I'm ready to be jounin now." Kae laughed in humiliation and her cheeks started to flush. Temari still couldn't look at her. "I never thought I would meet you Lady Temari. I see you all the time when I'm in Suna when you're with your friends. You're so strong and smart and pretty. When I found out you know Shikamaru too….I have to admit that I wasn't sure if I was a match for you."

"You thought you were up against me for him?"

"Well duh!" She started laughing in that high pitched giggle. "He may be a year older than I am but I thought I had a shot before I saw you come into the picture. I realize now that I was probably right." Was it more pity for this girl that she was started to feel?

"Oh…."

"What are you doing here in Konoha? Oh right! You're our diplomat! I'm so silly. You must have a lot of work to do."

"The Kazekage does keep me busy…."

_And in hiding…._

"Ah you seem to have everything! An awesome job, an awesome brother…ugh! I hope when I get older I can live a good and fun life like you Lady Temari…"

"My life isn't all the great you know…"

"Nonsense!" Kae brushed her cryptic statement off quickly. "Your life is wonderful! You should be happy because you could very well be crippled, homeless, lonely or even dead."

"I guess if you put it that way…"

"That's the spirit!" Temari received a whooping slap to her back for encouragement which made her cough. "Shikamaru isn't so gung ho about things either. He's a man of very little words and very little energy….but maybe that's what I like about him! We're so opposite!"

"Opposites attract I guess…"

"Eh sometimes….north and south come together but oil and water don't so it's all how you look at it." The girl was clever.

"I suppose so. Well…it was nice meeting you." Temari began to feel sick to her stomach and not from the baby but because all the mal she harbored inside was finally eating at her.

"Oh no Lady Temari! It was nice meeting _you_! You'll say hi to me on the street now right? All my friends back home will think I'm so cool!"

"Yea….I'll say hello…" It was the least she could do.

"Great!" The girl picked up the box of cookies she placed on the stairs between them.

"You should give them to him."

"Huh?"

"Those cookies you made….he's still awake…."

"You think so?! Oh I'm so nervous! It took me all day to make them!" Her bright eyes lit up her youthful face even further.

"Mhm…He might need some cheering up….I'm gonna go ok? Ja ne…" Temari slowly gathered her things and Kae beside her jumped up happily and bolted down the long hallway towards his door which was still seeping dim lights from the bottom.

"Thank you Lady Temari! I hope we can meet again!" The girl gave a chipper wave before Temari disappeared. She had no intention of finding out if he would let her in tonight or not. It might just make her hurt a little more than she did already. As she reflected again on the events of that night, she realized just how much she had began to change. Usually being the type to sock it to someone without so much as a blink of an eye, Temari had now become someone who was quick to jump into the shadows and scurry away. It was like she dropped some of her sense and self-confidence a few months ago and never found it. Her metamorphosis into some cowardly individual only made her feel like half the woman she was only a few months ago. What happened to the old Temari? The iron clad, no-nonsense, "I'll kick your ass", "Shut up Kankuro", protective person she use to see when she looked in the mirror? At least she'd have time to think on all this on her way back home tomorrow.

_How do I fix everything now?_

…..

The travel home was starting to get rough. The baby was beginning to sit on bladder so she was urinating frequently, which slowed down her speed. She also had to stop to eat and rest more which was also causing some trouble. What would usually be a three day trip now took her three and a half and she saw Suna in sight just as the sun was setting on the horizon. She stopped looking forward to Kankuro greeting her at the gate or sibling dinners so she just held in her mind the vision of her nice warm bed and a quiet evening to herself. It was starting to get colder at home as well so she had to keep on that extra layer that she wore when she was in Konoha. Everything was changing all around her. The first thing she did when she arrived was check in with Gaara in the office.

"Welcome back." Gaara was wrapping it up for the day and signing the last of the reports for the month before they would be filed away.

"Thanks..." She sat down just as Kankuro was coming in to remove to the stack that Gaara had finished from his desk.

"Oh….Temari…." The fact that he actually spoke to her was a step up.

"Hey Kankuro…"

"Kankuro do not leave yet….let me finish these last pages. So, how did your doctor's visit go?"

"It was fine…the baby is healthy….I'm having a boy." Temari felt her heart jump when she told Gaara. She was actually smiling peacefully as well.

"That's great….I will have a nephew and so will Kankuro."

"Yea…a little over 4 months to go…."

"It must be hard to travel now."

Temari perked up so she wouldn't seem weakened. "No it's fine. I travel just as how I usually do." Her tessen was going a number on her back and next time she was going to seal it in a scroll.

"But you took longer to come home."

"I made a stop but I'm fine."

"Temari…." Gaara was trying to pry the truth.

"I told you Gaara. I'm ok."

"Hm. The Feudal Lord's son wants to meet you next week again….it looks like he has his eye on you."

"Oh no…." Temari sunk down in her chair. "I'm getting too big to hide behind a Kimono…"

"You are right….soon Lady Rie will catch on so we must have a plan before she does. What will you do?"

"I'm….not sure yet…" Her eyes searched the maroon carpet for answers but all she was an an endless array of expensive thread.

"Temari…" Kankuro's voice caused her ears to perk up seeing as how she hadn't heard too much of it over the past few months. "What happened to you?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You're turning into a punk….it's disgusting to watch."

"What are you talking about?" Her eyes casted a stern gaze at her challenging brother in front of her.

"You wanna know what pisses me off about this entire situation? At first I was mad because you let that Konoha jerk get you pregnant but the more I've watched you, the more I've seen you turn into this soft, shy little….thing! I don't know how to describe it but you're so weak." Had Kankuro noticed it as well? "I got over you being pregnant months ago but I can't stop being pissed because you're sitting here and letting everything cave in on you when that's not the way _my_ sister would do it. I don't know who you are anymore. This is why I'm still peeved and this is why I can't accept any of your sappy apologies and half dead excuses."

"Kankuro…" Gaara's calming voice did nothing.

"No Gaara I'm gonna say something! You should probably quit being a shinobi now because you've lost your will and resolve these past few months and a person without that is lost! I don't want someone like you trying to defend our village anymore because you'll just run and hid like all the others that weren't good enough!"

"Shut up Kankuro! You don't know my situation-" Temari went in defense mode instantly.

"Yes I do! I mean, I may not be pregnant or anything but I've been through my fair share of problems and I _never_ let them change what makes me….me! How do you expect to raise a kid this way? I don't want my nephew watching his mother cower like some beaten animal! You should just give him up for adoption to someone else who can better teach him how to be a strong person-"

"That's enough Kankuro!" The fact that Gaara raised his voice signified the end of his rant and Kankuro grabbed the papers off his desk and prepared to leave.

Temari was sitting there motionless in the chair while the words stabbed at her raw spirit that was battling. Was Kankuro right? One side of her began to list out all the reasons why she should keep to herself and use flight as a protective measure. That side told her that other people had no idea how hard it was to deal with what she was dealing with so having weak moments was ok. No one is perfect. Yet at the same time, Kankuro's rant had it's own equally formidable weapon of reminders of who Temari really is or at least who she was. She had survived a war where countless others had fallen and many times she too could have been slaughtered in her tracks or given in to the enemy. There was not a moment in battle where she thought she would lose, or run away or even die. She wasn't invincible or anything but she believed her strength and intelligence would be a shield enough to block any sword because she was desperate to survive but not just to survive but to win and be the best. It appears as though she had traded in taking risks and stepping out for being "safe" and to be honest, she didn't feel as safe as she thought. As insulting as Kankuro's words might have seemed, it probably was the pull she needed to stop tittering on the edge of the fence and the force she needed to turn around and look her circumstance straight in the eyes. It was time she stopped running away. It was time she stopped making excuses because he was right. It was the time she finally made up her mind to be in it all the way or not at all. What type of mother would she be to her son if she didn't have the strength to protect him and to show and teach him how to protect himself?

"Kankuro wait!" She got up from her seat and called out to him right as his hand touched the doorknob. "You can forgive me now…."

"Give me a reason too…." Kankuro left with a slam of the door. That signaled the opening bell.

"Gaara." She quickly turned to her brother with a determined look.

"Yes Temari?"

"How many days until I am to leave for the Feudal Lord's home?"

"5. Why do you ask?" Gaara was a bit taken aback by her sudden seriousness in attitude.

"Alright. Don't worry about it. Just prepare things as usual." Grabbing her tessen that was leaning against the door, she was about to head to her apartment but she heard Gaara mumble something to himself.

"Welcome back."

That whole night she spent with the brochures, books and packets of childrearing and pregnancy Sakura had sent with her. She was ashamed to remember that even Shikamaru probably knew more about her pregnancy that she did. Reading up on what to expect in her last trimester, she was came upon the fact that the chances of her going into labor during her 6th month was more than what she expected. It could also lead to many complications if she were to put too much stress on herself. So far, she admitted that she was being a horrible mother. Although she had been taking her pre-natal vitamins, she wasn't eating what was expected either, her tension was high and not to mention she had been traveling quite a lot which can put a strain on her pregnancy. Learning about all of this made her feel even more ashamed and only confirmed what Kankuro had reiterated. Before it was too late, before she did hard to herself and most importantly her son, she needed to grow a pair instead of telling other people they needed too. After making herself a bowl of okayu, she sat down and analyzed all of the decisions she would have to make very soon. The first of all was how to cut down her traveling because the last thing she wanted to do was give birth in the middle of a crowd of strange villagers.

"I guess….I guess there's only one solution to this problem." That's what she remembered what Gaara had told her.

"…_there's not much here for you anymore…"_

The truth hurt and when it hurt, it burned like the pain from a toxic poison setting fire your blood vessels. Gaara had said something that she wasn't ready for but she had very little choice but to listen too. He and Kankuro were grown up already, taking care of their business and living their lives. Soon, they too would find someone and start a family of their own. Temari imagined Gaara's first attempt to change a diaper and she had to laugh, making a mental note that she would allow him plenty of practice on her son before he had to tackle his own children. Looking outside to the silent dark skies with stars thrown in like diamonds on a coal bed, she took in all that she could about Suna. It was her home and the painful and enjoyable memories laid there. She would never not be a sand shinobi and she would never not come to it's aid no matter where she was but now it was probably time for her to leave. Her new ties were pulling her in another direction and she saw no more use to hold on anymore. She wasn't afraid of stepping out anymore so the feeling of fear was lost but there was a sense of nostalgia that replaced it.

"If he's anything like Shikamaru….he'd probably just complain about living here." The thought of a 5 year old whining about how the air is so stuffy and the sand always getting in his eyes made her chuckle. It also gave her all the more reason to close the book on this chapter of her life. "It's time to move…." She planned to make her final trip to Konoha when Naruto had his induction that way her brothers would be there to say their goodbyes. That settled it.

The clock struck 10 and with the amount of work she probably had piling up in the filing office, she knew it would be best to turn in for the night.

"I'm sure Kankuro has my work just waiting for me."

…

It was the day she would meet Mahito again but this time it was for something a lot more serious that lunch and light conversation. The kimono she wore was a lot nicer than the first one but no one would see it because it was covered by a cloak to protect her from the winter chill. It was white that faded into ice blue towards the bottom. There was a flush of grey lilies that traveled upwards from the back and around the in a swirl pattern along with it decorated on her sleeves. Her hair was pinned up in a more intricate bun that took about 45 minutes to hold in place with two hair sticks that dangled pure diamond chains. A gift from Mahito. That morning she insisted on dressing herself for obvious reasons and she knew Lady Rie was rather suspicious of that. Temari would deal with that witch later. As she walked with the ladies in waiting across the courtyard, she was reminded of that reoccurring dream she had again that night which many would interpret as a bad omen. Although the dream didn't change, Temari's feeling about it did. She no longer grew weary of the possibly that it could mean something because she wasn't going to let it come to pass. Before she would let anyone take the life of her unborn son, she would slaughter them where they stood. Just because she was pregnant, didn't mean she was helpless. In fact, she had a lot more power than before because she had a more important thing to fight for. The wind that day hit her doll-like face that was delicately covered with makeup to the point where she could barely recognize herself. It made her wonder how Tenten made out with Neji in regards to her transformation. They had finally reached the large wooden doors which lead to a rather large hall that was glistening with marble floors. The Feudal Lord, in all of his boastfulness was sitting in the middle on a cushion that was resting on a stunning gold carpet. Stroking his long beard and looking through his thn bifocals, he must have been reading something of great importance because those button eyes never left the page. Next to him was his plump son who was chewing heavily on pigs' feet that was on a plate on the finely crafted wooden table. When they saw her enter, both of their eyes lit up and she bowed gracefully like how she was taught. Placing her fan over her face so that only her dazzling green eyes were seen, she looked at them straight in the face with a sturdy mental resolve.

"Lady Temari! You look well! Sit, sit sit." The lord pointed to a lone cushion on the floor on the other side of the table to which her escorts helped lower her down on.

"You look as pretty as a newly decorated cake Lady Temari!" Mahito's small eyes now looked like little rounded peas.

"Thank you my Lords." The servers brought her a plate of food most appropriate for a young lady to eat around men but she wasn't hungry. She just wanted to get to the point of this entire meeting. Off in the corner she spied Kaito who had that cheerful smile on his face. Now wasn't the time for her to reply back.

"Has your brother told you why you are here today?" The Feudal Lord looked over at his son who was licking the gooey oil from his chubby fingers. "Have some manners! There is a young lady present!"

"Oh! Sorry father!"

"Thank you. Anyway, this meeting was set up to alert you that…" The Lord now had a gratifying smile on his face. "My son has chosen you to be his bride! Isn't that wonderful child?"

His eyes searched hers for some sort of excitement but there was none to be had. "My lord…." The moment had finally arrived and underneath the table she was griping her kunai tightly. Although she never anticipated any attack, you could never underestimate your enemy no matter how fat or pompous they may have been. When her eyes flashed to Kaito, he had a puzzled look on her face as to why she wasn't reacting like they had all predicted. "I must apologize….but…." No matter what was to come, this was the right thing to do. Not just so she didn't have to marry this unappealing man but for her son who might be forcefully killed since he is a child of someone else. Temari was in combat mode but her persona remained cool and level headed so the words came out a lot easier. She would have probably been a slight wreck had she done this at her weaker moments but now everything was different. "I cannot marry your son."

It was as if the oxygen in the room had suddenly been cut short because everyone gasped. Mahito dropped his pig foot on the plate with a clank, the Fedual Lord looked positively stunned like he had just been stabbed in the chest, Kaito's face was flashing between bewilderment and worry and her escorts were probably bracing themselves for her doom but Temari simply stared them down.

"Wh-what do you mean? You are going to marry into one the most prestigious families in the entire land! You will gain not only benefits but status! You can quit your life of war and trade it in for luxury and protection under your last name! You foolish girl!"

"My apologues once again my Lord but no matter what you offer me…I cannot accept it."

"Lady Temari I thought you liked me!" Mahito sounded like a spoiled child than the son of the leader of the land.

"You're a very nice person but….you're just not my type." There it was. She felt her groove coming back and that frankness that kept her situations real and upfront. "And to be honest, I have no intention of ever getting married."

"What?! What kind of womanly virtue do they teach you in Suna?! This is preposterous!" There was a redness in the Feudal Lord's pupils that symbolized the pressure mounting in his brain while he tried to comprehend how insolent and bold she was.

It was time. "There is also another reason I cannot marry your son my lord…" Standing up, began to untie her cloak. With each pull of the string she remembered all that was as steak if she revealed herself to these people. Gaara could lose his position as Kazekage, their family could be ostracized or manipulated, she could even die for her reason if they saw fit but she had no fear.

"_Temari…" Gaara sat quietly on the chair as she fixed her hair for the final time. "No matter what happens, I would like you to know that I support you. Being Kazekage is not a title alone but a life of being the support of people, for giving them encouragement, for protecting them and being precious to and entire village that depends on you. I will fight for you and your son even if it means I must give up the title but do not turn your eyes away out of concern that I may fall. I am Kazekage not only because he appointed me to be so but because I want to be the pillar that holds up my village and it's people. I will fulfill my duties and my dreams at the top of a mountain or in the pits of a ditch. Most of all though, I stand behind you because you are my elder sister and I believe this is what mother would want me to do…."_

_If my little brother has that much faith than what on earth do I have to be afraid of? _

She finally reached the last tie and by now she could hear her heart sounding in her ear like a war drum in the distance. It gave her rush and a high that peaked her courage beyond anything she had felt since the front lines. Most of all though, she thought about that little baby floating peacefully and trying it's best to grow and become a beautiful baby for her in a few months. Before she would do anything for herself, she would do it for him. This was her moment to finally be a good big sister, a good woman and a better mother.

"I'm pregnant." The cloak fluttered to the ground and she stood there firmly in the face of people who thought they held her fate in their hands. They _thought_.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21: The Cost**

"You're…pregnant?" Mahito sounded completely out of breath when his eyes fixed on her gaping stomach.

"Yes. So as you can see….I can't marry you."

"Who-Who….I demand to know who the father is!" The Feudal Lord slammed his hand on the table so hard that overturned a bowl of rice and knocked some of the other plates onto the carpet.

"I am not obliged to say my Lord." Temari stood firm in her position even though the entire room looked like it was about to explode.

"You insolent little whore! I will not stand for this insult! Lady Rie must be notified at once!" This was no surprised but she kept her cool, knowing very well that the worst was yet to come. He turned to one of the servant girls and ordered her to dispatch an urgent message immediately before he angrily turned back to Temari. "You will pay for this!-"

"Father!" Mahito's expression suddenly calmed down.

"What it is?!"

"I still wish to marry her…" The Feudal Lord blinked furiously at this off statement. Temari was thrown for a loop as well but she wouldn't let it show on her stone cold expression. "She looks like she still early in her pregnancy. We can simply terminate it and no one will know." The simple fact that the idea even came to his mind made her so revolted and livid that she had had to use maximum control to prevent herself from throwing her kunai straight at his meaty throat. She gripped her knife tighter that was hidden under her kimono.

"Touch me…and I'll rip that over grown stomach right through your skin…" She didn't mean to voice her threat to him. She didn't mean to get over emotional but maybe it was her motherly instincts kicking in. Temari was unashamed though because it was the truth.

"Now you insult my son!? That is a crime of treason and punishable by death! If I were you I would watch your words before I gut you like a pig…." His eyes tightened and she met his gaze with an equal challenge. "Better yet….guards! Take her in! I will teach you to control that tongue of yours!" Out of the side doors in the back, 6 shinobi dressed entirely in black body suits with nothing but their eyes showing filled in. Each of them pulled twin blades as sharp as any she had seen from the holsters from their backs and readied themselves to charge. Temari looked at the group who was prepared to charge at a moment's notice and knew this would not only be a fight for her life but probably the life of her unborn son.

"Kaito! Don't just stand there! Go after her! She is a shinobi of high regard and these men may be no match for her!" Looking at Kaito, he was torn in between following orders and trying to save her life but she didn't want him to make that choice and she never expected him to go against his master. This was not his battle but it was hers and she was ready. With the wave of the Feudal Lord's bony fingers all she saw was 7 shadows leap into the air towards her. Before she would fight though, she made the decision to try and out run them. Being pregnant, she wasn't sure what condition she was in to take them head on and on top of that, her tessen was locked in a scroll she placed strategically outside of his mansion. Quickly, she grabbed the kunai from under her dress and threw it directly at the Feudal Lord, knowing the men would be distracted trying to protect him. Without looking back, she then turned on her heals and made her run for the door as fast as her feet could take her. Running in a fitted outfit was not her forte but she managed to stay a good distance ahead of the guards who were scaling the rooftops on both sides of her. Out of the side of her view, she saw kunai come flying and barely missed her face by an inch. It was just a few more feet to the archway that lead outside to the tree where her scroll was sitting inconspicuously in the lower branch of the tree so she had to hurry.

"Lady Temari!" From behind her, she heard Kaito who was close at her heals but she wouldn't look back at him in fear that was a trap to lure her attention away. "Why didn't you say anything from before?!" Kaito honestly sounded confused.

"The timing wasn't right!" Leaping over decorated rocks and sliding under lowly hanging tree branches, she kept her speed although her shoes were causing a problem.

"So you knew this whole time?"

"Yes!"

"You knew the type of trouble this would cause!"

"I was well aware!"

"Then….why did you keep it?"

"Because!" Temari made it under the archway right as her pursuers tried to block the entrance with a paper bomb. "It's my son!" Hurling herself into the air, she grabbed the scroll from in between the leaves and unraveled it as she kept running.

_I'm running out of time…_

She had just a few seconds before she bit her thumb and placed her hand onto the sealing scroll. With a puff of smoke, her tessen appeared in her hand in the nick of time because two of the guards managed to block her path into the forest.

"Hault in the name of the Feudal Lord of the land!" One of the masked men shouted as he crossed his swords.

"You must not know who I am…." With a smirk, she twirled her tessen in the air which opened it up with a blast of wind that was enough the knock them both off their feet. "He should really hire better men…" To her surprise though both of the bodies transformed into two logs of wood before they hit one of the trees. "Substitution! Damnit!"

"Earth style! Mountain peak jutsu!" Suddenly erupting from the ground around her were pointed spikes made of pure rock that could easily pierce through her body if she wasn't careful. Lucky enough she was able to backflip onto one of the tree branches to avoid getting speared right through her stomach.

"Earth style huh? This may be tricky…."

"Fire style!-" One guard must have been out of the loop when it came to jutsu's the use against her.

"No! She's a wind user!" The other tried to warn his comrade but it was already too late.

"Burning palms!" The other guard blew fire from the chakra points in his fingers but he was able to shape it someone into flat bursts of flames that could easily cover large horizontal areas but Temari saw this as a way of killing two birds with one stone. Jumping and then spinning on the edge of her heel she was able to create a gust of wind the merely blew the flames back at the two guards who had trapped her. Not only was she able to knock them both out by slamming their bodies forcefully against the wall that surrounded the mansion but she was able to give herself more time to run before the others would catch up. She hated the fact that she kept fleeing but fighting would pose a great risk to her body so she had to avoid it at all costs.

"2 down….4 to go!" Temari was unsure if it was the adrenaline or the will to survive that gave her the stamina and strength to jump from limb to limb in the thick of the forest but she would welcome the energy until it ran out "Here comes two more…." They were both scaling the trees on either side of her, trying to synchronize their movements into a bigger combo attack but once again, they underestimated her. Picking up the speed, she managed to get ahead enough for her to stop and position herself. "Amateurs…." Biting her thumb again, she opened her fan and rubed the blood across the top. "Summoning blade dance!" As she swung, out popped Kamaitari riding his scythe like a maniac.

"Slice!" It wasn't long before trees were toppling, branches were flying backwards and the men were caught up in the path of her crazed furry weasel. The last thing she heard was them screaming and the booming sound of debri hitting the ground. Whether they were dead or alive was something she didn't care to find out. She had made it deep into the forest. "Alright….now where are the last tw-" Out of nowhere she was hit by a blast of extremely sharp glass shards which knocked her right out the trees. As she was falling, she had to twist her body and position herself so that she wouldn't land on her stomach. It was a close one and as she looked down, she was bleeding from many places on her body.

"Surrender now and we will spare your life Lady Temari…." One of the men was standing right above her in the tree as she looked up. He was a wind user as well and in his hand were two small fans that were similar to her own. She had finally met her match but as to where the glass was coming from was also revealed by another guard behind her on a lower branch of a tree. In his hand was a summoning scroll where he was probably bringing forth tools made of a sharp and durable glass. What was so dangerous about his tools was that once they hit, they cracked inside the skin or exploded on impact to create even smaller and sharper pieces. If she wasn't careful, she could end up with a body of holes in an instant.

"Before I surrender….you'll have to kill me."

"Summoning Jutsu! Needle shards!" Out from his scroll was a barrage of shimmering needles that were so thin they were almost invisible. Just as they were coming down, the wind user jumped behind him and waved his fan to add some force to the glass weapons that would only increase the impact and provide protection from any jutsu coming right at it. The only thing she could do was hid under her tessen which provided enough shielding power from the steel and thick fabric.

"Shit!" Trying to think as quickly as she could, she was running through ideas but not quick enough from being constantly bombarded by attacks and having to maneuver her way out of their path. The only thing she could think to do was use her wind release but that would only neutralize the attack and not allow herself attacking abilities. They would be at a complete stand still. What she needed was someone she could combine her wind release with or provide a large area attack but she was alone. That was until she heard a familiar voice coming from in between the trees.

"Ninja Art! Blood diamond rain!" Peeking from under her tessen, she saw Kaito at full speed weaving hand signs too fast for her naked eye to comprehend.

_How is he so fast?... _

Bracing herself for an attack from the oncoming shinobi, she was completely surprised when she heard the shouting from the other men.

"Kaito! What are you doing?!" When she looked up from the safety of her tessen she saw what looked like rain drops falling from the sky yet the men in the trees were bleeding from pores all over themselves.

"Kaito?..." He wasn't attacking her like the others. He was actually defending her.

"Get out of here Temari!"

"What are you doing Kaito?!" She assumed he went temporarily mad.

"Giving you a chance to get out of here! Now run!"

"You idiot! Isn't this treason?" Temari was concerned that once the lord caught wind of his turn of alliance, it would be his end indefinitely.

"Don't worry about me! You need to get out of here! I can only hold them back for so long!" The rain was getting lighter and the guards still had some of their strength left because they shielded themselves under a large rock with an overhanging.

"Diamond style! Pure blizzard Jutsu! I'm not going to let you fight alone!" There was a rush of wind headed in the direction of the huddled guards that carried tiny circular beads of white diamonds. This was unlike anything she had ever seen.

"If you don't then you can kiss your freedom goodbye! Think about that baby! Think about what's more important Lady Temari! You have to live!" He was right. She had to run because if they caught her, it would be over for both of them. At the same time, she didn't want to see Kaito die because of her actions. He didn't deserve that. Not with how kind he had been to her. "What are you doing?! Get out!" There was no more time to think and so reluctantly, she began to run again, hearing the rain finally let up. If he could have held it up for a little longer, he probably would have killed them. His attack was powerful and it must have been a kekkei genkai that allowed him such an ability. His diamond style probably combined earth and wind into one and made it extremely unique. No wonder he was always kept so close by.

_Not bad Kaito….not bad at all…._

Giving him one last look, he practically pushed her forward into the deeper parts of the wood as she continued on with his attack. This was the pushiest she had ever seen him. Temari didn't want to look as she reluctantly trudged forward as fast as she could but suddenly she heard a scream from behind her. The voice was unmistakable. She instantly felt her legs begin to buckle underneath and almost stumbled in her tracks. At that very moment, she felt a placid breeze blow from behind her with a single strand of white hair caught in it's current. It floated by gently and at the tail of the strand it was dyed a crimson liquid.

_Blood…_

She came to a screeching halt as the piece of hair went drifting off into the distance and vanished amongst the gray afternoon sky. Temari tried to fight her logic by telling herself that he probably got scratched or suffered a minor wound but war taught her that such fantasies could easily be crushed by a bitter reality. There was a choice she had to make at this very moment- turn back or keep moving. Her feet wanted to turn around because that was what her spirit whispered in her ear. If a comrade was down at it was within her means to help them, then that was the right thing to do. At the same time her mind was up in arms with the fact that if she went back she could be risking the very life she was desperately trying to save. She hated making choices like this because she had always used her head but when her heart called out to her, it was hard to ignore. There was silence in the forest before a clap of thunder and a flash of lightening lit up the sky. She tried to listen out for any sign of him when suddenly she heard what sounded like heavy drops hitting the ground behind her.

_He's alive?…._

She was only to be disappointed because when she turned around to expect to see him running through the trees was when she saw the rain trickle down before the torrential downpour surrounded her. There was no denying it now. It was quite clear. Kaito was dead. This whole time she neglected to feel how absolutely cold the world was and she began to shiver from the chill. And, like the rain that made her makeup run down her cheeks, his memories smear the mask of emotions she had put up for so long.

_"You're so smooth and relaxed yet I'm sure you can be very serious when the time calls for it. Talking with you seems so natural."_

_"We do appear to get along ok…."_

…_.._

_"I beg to differ. You don't know me very well."_

_"I think I do….When I look at you I see someone who has the possibility to make someone very happy and who wants to be happy…yet you seem to deny the belief that it's possible. I don't know why."_

…

_Dear Ms. Whoever You Are_

_How are you? I don't know when you'll be reading this but I guess I just wanted to say thank you. The night with you was the best night I've had in a long time…._

…

_"I'm sorry Ms. Who- I mean Lady Temari. I didn't anticipate that I would see you again. I'm glad I was wrong." His smile was too charming for her look at so long. "You'll forgive me right?"_

…_.._

"_If you don't then you can kiss your freedom goodbye! Think about that baby! Think about what's more important Lady Temari! You have to live!"_

She wasn't sure if it was tears or rain. Maybe it was a mix of both. Maybe the bitter wind that hit her face was causing her eyes to water. Whatever it aws, she used her sleeve to clear her vision. What he had reminded her, that desperate, naïve, hopeful guy who should have just kept walking by her past the bar that nice was to put what was to always focus on what's most important. He willingly gave up his life to put what was most important to him at the time first- a girl who he barely ever saw and a baby from a guy who he'd never meet. It didn't even look like he thought twice about anything or hesitated for a moment even though it meant going against everything he had probably ever known and worked for. She felt a pain in her chest that was still so unfamiliar and as she turned around to keep going, it only burned as she got farther away but at this moment she had made her decision. If she were to turn back, everything he gave his life for would have been in vain and that was a fate worst that death. Grabbing her tessen tightly in her hand, she was even more determined than ever to live and even if she had to cut down the Feudal Lord himself, she wouldn't let anything stand in her way. She would not let Kaito's sacrifice go to waste and so through the mud, the rain, the cold and the utter exhaustion that was taking over her muscles, she continued on.

…..

It took her almost 6 hours but she finally made it back to the village. Dirty and dripping wet, she scaled the roof carefully and through an open window which she found a strange coincidence. All of the running had made her exhausted and she hoped the strain she put her body under didn't hurt her baby. There was a chance she would pay for this later though. It barely rained in Suna so when she made it toward the edge of the forest she escaped it. Climbing through the window of the quiet Kazekage office, she saw Gaara quickly swivel his chair around. She probably looked more of a mess than she gave herself credit for because his expression turned and even more ghostly white than usual. Her kimono was practically in shreds, there was blood on her face, dirt on her hands and she barely managed to hold onto her shoes which were all muddy.

"Temari what happened?" He sounded a lot more serious than his usual characteristic.

"I told him..." She dragged herself to the chair in front of his desk and sat down in a heap.

"Told him what?"

"I told the Feudal Lord that I can't marry his son….and I told him I was pregnant."

"Temari?"

"I don't give a shit anymore…even if he is the damn Feudal Lord, he doesn't run my life. It's my life and before I let some high and mighty bastard tell me what to do, I'll tell him how it goes. I'm Temari of the sand….not some mouse that he can kick around or a pawn in his little game. They may come for me Gaara and you as well but I'm sorry-"

"Do not be. You were the only one who could stand up for yourself and you should never feel sorry for that."

"You're right." Her muscles were giving out. "But Kaito…" She looked outside, still wishing that happy-go-lucky face would pop out from outside the window and defeat her logic but that was still living in fantasy land.

"Who?"

"Kaito….the guard that worked for the Lord….He died trying to help me…." The memory made her throat dry.

"He died honorably then because he too did what he felt he needed to do. You should not let his sacrifice go to waste by turning back." There was silence as she sat there unable to move and barely able to breathe when suddenly the door bursts open.

"Temari you little whore!" When she swung around it was none other than Lady Rie with all of her rage and blind fury. "Tell me this is not true!"

Now was not the time. Here was not the place and in this state, she probably wouldn't even flinch if the will to smit that vile woman from the face of the earth was too strong for her to control but Temari was too smart to let her judgement get clouded in such a pivotal situation. On top of that, she had already saw this coming from the very beginning. Gripping the arm of the chair, she steadily rose to her feet. With a solid determination and a will of steel, she turned to face her demon head on. "It…is all true."

"And yet here you stand, still as feisty and bold as ever! Have you no shame?! Have you no fear for the safety of your family?!"

"I have….neither. I voided my body of fear ages ago…" She took a step in Lady Rie's direction. "A fear of the Feudal Lord." And another. "A fear of you." Another. "A fear of life." Now she was face to face. "And a fear of death…If you get in my way do not think I won't kill you and feel guilty. I am tired of you trying to manipulate me using your trickery. It's disgusting and while it may work on weaker minds, you have no hold of me." Temari got right in her face. "Remember that….and you can tell your Lord of that as well." Lady Rie's utter shock was as potent as any foul odor and with nothing left but her own physical strength she tried to put her hands on Temari but she wasn't quick enough. Jumping back on top of Gaara's desk, she opened out her tessen fully prepared defend herself. This was personal.

"That is enough! Who gave you permission to come in to my office unannounced Lady Rie?!" Gaara was about to boil over. "I am the Kazekage and I will not be disrespected in my own space!"

"Well because of your harlot sister, it will not be your space for long!"

"Are you threatening him you old bag of shit?!" Temari rammed the end of her fan into the sand but it was as solid as steel. "You're lucky he put this here!"

"Well you are lucky you are not dead yet!"

"Get out of my office at once…." Gaara pulled the wall of sand down and looked her straight in the eyes.

"I hope you both are prepared for the hell that it right at your heels…." Her voice hissed like a preying cobra and as quick as she came, she left down the hallway.

"Temari."

"Yes Gaara."

"Pack your things. You leave tomorrow morning."

"I need to deal with this witch first."

"There is no time. You must leave the village until I settle this matter once and for all. You need to keep that baby safe."

"Fine but you must keep Kankuro close. I don't trust her…."

"She will not harm me. She may have power from the Lord but my support comes from the village. Just as how you fear nothing, when I am set to defend….I fear nothing as well. I am not ordering you retreat but to let your other flank take over as you reload your weapon. Let me be the Kazekage but most of all….let me be your brother."

"You're not doing shit without me Gaara." Kankuro stood in the doorway with his arms folded.

_Kankuro….._

"Bedsides….I think I may have something that might pull the odds in our favor. Working on filing became useful after all."

….

Before the sun even rose that next morning, she was already miles away from the village. As she was leaving those hours ago, she managed to take one last look at her home. That moment could very well be the last time she ever saw Suna again. Her city was beautiful in it's own abstract way. Some would see it as a desolate village wrapped out in a dry and thirsty land but she saw the springs that erupted from deep within. She saw the vitality, she saw the strength, she saw her family and the place she swore to protect the moment she picked up her tessen. It represented everything she was and everything she ever held dear to her. Whether she would come back or not became a rather trivial matter because found out she carried Suna with her wherever she traveled. It was on her back when she carried her tessen. It was in her lungs when she took a breath of air that traveled great distances across the earth. It was under her feet because no matter how far she traveled on the ground, it was connected to Suna in some way. It was written on her forehead in an, almost unbreakable, steel plate. Most importantly, it was within her, wrapping it's warmth around her spirit and within her son was half the heart of a Suna shinobi. They may have driven her from The Village Hidden In the Sand but they did not drive the village out of Temari.

As she traveled, she came up on the town where she had met Kaito those many months ago. Although it looked the same as it always did, there was a big chunk of it missing. Maybe he took that part away with his smile or his optimistic nature. Now it just seemed like another town. The temperature was extremely low as she got closer to the point where her breath produced such fog that it could be visibile from a few feet away.

_It's probably snowing in Konoha now…._

Walking past a small patch of trees, she stopped. On her right was a large oak tree standing mightily against the hostile winds with a large root jutting out of the ground. Underneath was a piece of paper wedged tightly underneath it's clutches. That's when she remembered that this was where she told him to leave notes to her. There was not a chance she would pass it and so she walked over and yanked the dirty parchment from it's hiding place and opened it.

Dear Ms. W

I just wanted to say that you looked so beautiful that day you came to see my master. Why don't you always dress that way? I wish I had the courage to tell you in person but….you know how I am with woman heh. I am growing tired of this life Ms. W. The more I see and think about you and the type of freedom you have, the more I want to take charge of my own destiny….and maybe find a nice girl who will want to go with me. Do you think I'll ever find someone? Someone who will go with me? I'm sorry again for my disguises! Next time I see you I'll buy you lunch to make up for it! I am happy that I will get to see you often but maybe not as often as your certain someone. You're probably still acting all tough like usual but you should go see him. I bet he's secretly waiting for you….like I am.

The Cloud.

_That moron….that desperate moron…._

Crumpling the paper between her icy fingers, she saw his face again in the letter and heard his voice in the words. His letter was so light hearted and yet all it did was make her angry.

_It was all his fault he died….He didn't have to fucking stay back there! He could have ran but he's such a damn idiot that stayed. How stupid of him….how stupid of him to do that for a girl like me. He doesn't even know me!_

In the midst of her rant she ripped the parchment in half and sat down in the chilled dirt next to that tree. The bearer of bad news. The bearer of good news. The bearer of fiction and non-finction alike. Looking down at her stomach, she did something for the first time.

"Hey….You better be the best this world has ever seen. Do you see what people are willing to do for you? What Gaara Oji and Kankuro Oji….Okaasan…Kaito…..and even Otousan did to make sure you'd make it out alive? So when you are born you better come out to be the best you can be….that is the first demand from your mother. This is my only demand because as long as you come out alright….that's all I need. That's all I want. I'm sorry for being such a bum of a parent. I don't feed you like I should, you're force to fight with me when I fight, run with me when I run and I'm sure you probably don't wanna do all of that. Once this is over though we can find a nice, quiet place to live…." She looked up at the clouds. "Some place like that village with all the kids running around. They all looked so happy. I mean, it's no Suna but I think we can make it there...if you don't like Konoha that is. I think you will though….if you're anything like your father. " She heard their laughter of the joyus children from that day and imagined it to be his. "If I cannot take you there….if for some reason I cannot make It to that village by the hills …or live with you in Konoha, then I will at least make sure _you_ get there so you can enjoy your freedom….and grow strong. That is the first promise from your mother, Temari of the Sand."


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: I was tired when I wrote this. I'll fix any mistakes later. **

**Chapter 22: For Him**

She was right about one thing- the snow. It came early this year November. Upon arriving in Konoha on that frosted afternoon, she caught the village in the middle of it's first snow of the season. Although the white drops were light and soft around her, she was a completely contradictory to the atmosphere. Not only was she tired from traveling but Temari was never one for the extreme weathers. That was one thing she loved about Suna. Everything was in the middle and just right. Luckily before she left, she prepared for this and carried a thicker cloak and wore tights under her ninja mesh armor that was on her legs. She also, and happily, replaced her sandals with leather snow boots that served her very well as she went through patches of snow. As she approached the gate, her usual welcoming duo was right on time.

"Pst! Lady Temari!" Izumo was chattering his teeth as she stood behind the booth.

"Yes?"

"Could you get us some hot chocolate from Pops?"

"Pops serves hot chocolate?" The ramen man was a jack of all trades.

"Only in the winter a-a-and we're v-very c-c-cold." Kotetsu was shivering wildly even though both of them were under heavy jackets.

"I can't right now boys. I'm kinda in a hurry…"

"Sh-sh-shikamaru can wait! We're f-f-freezing!"

Temari felt bad for the two icicle gate shinobi but she didn't have time to detour. Luckily, she thought of a better idea. One of the village children was skipping by, enjoying his weekend day off from school when Temari flagged him down. "Hey! You with the ear muffs!" The boy stopped dead in his tracks and walked over to her.

"Yes ma'am?" He was a sweet little guy no older than 8 with the biggest hazel eyes and messy black hair.

"Can you get some hot chocolate from Pop's for those too silly men over there?" Temari pointed to them as Kotetsu and Izumo waved frantically. "Here is some money. Buy two for them and you can have one for yourself."

"Sweet! Really?"

"Sure. Just make sure you come back with it….or I'll find you." The young boy gulped at her grave expression and nodded as she handed him the money. "Now hurry before they turn into popsicles." Dashing off down the street, he disappeared between the mass of people. "There. You guys got what you wanted and so I'm gone."

"Thanks Lady Temari!" Izumo bowed quickly.

"Yea! Thanks! Oh…I think Shikamaru is still at the Standby Station!" Kotetsu saluted her and she did nothing but smirk and head in the opposite direction. She may have been looking for him but she wasn't going to let everyone know that. Before she left she heard Izumo whisper.

"Did she gain weight?"

"Shhh! Izumo if she hears you, we're done for!"

"Oh right!"

Looking down at her stomach and removing her hands from their covering, she saw that her body was starting to swell a little more than she liked. Then again, she was going on 6 months soon and her due date in April was fast approaching. She knew the weight would come eventually but not now.

As she walked through the village, she noticed that the shops were already decorating for the holidays. Early Christmas deals, holiday ornaments and winter window stands with the glass frosted over were on the rise and it made her feel strangely jolly. Considering all that she had been through the last few days, it was nice to feel something on the positive end of the spectrum for a change, no matter how small.

_Naruto picked the wrong season for his induction….that idiot is going to freeze in the middle of his speech_

Making sure no one of importance was watching her, she made two sharp lefts to a smaller avenue hidden away from the hustle and bustle of the day. Knowing Shikamaru, he was probably still where Izumo and Kotetsu said he was. As long as he was warm, he probably wasn't moving. While she walked, she began to analyze the landscape of Konoha and try and remember all the places she had been. If she was going to be living there, then she might as well find a bigger apartment, somewhere close enough to a daycare and not too far from her job. She had no idea where to start but she figured that on her journey she might get lucky enough to spot one out. The Standby station was right up ahead so her search was cut short. Right through the narrow alleyway between the station and a neighboring restaurant, she saw a ponytail of brown spiked hair that was attached to a body, sitting on a bench under a tree. Just as she predicted. He probably hadn't moved for a while. She took a deep breath and went over in her head exactly what she wanted to say. It wouldn't be easy being to vocal with him but they had come too far already for her to worry too much now. The bottom of her boots crunched through the snow that was untouched in the ally and as she got closer to the bench, she couldn't help but sigh.

_So typical…._

Walking around the bench with the motionless body, she caught Shikamaru in the middle of an afternoon nap. He certainly was comfortable and toasty enough in his long sleeved flack jacket with black fur around the collar and his thick turtle neck. His arms were outstretched on the side of the bench like she was trying to increase his surface area to collect the most sun as possible. With his head tilted back and his legs slightly opened, some people would have figured he was dead but they didn't know him like she did. When he slept, he was his own master. No one could wake him up unless he wanted to wake up. Temari stood over him with one hand on her hip, purposely casting a dark shadow over his body. She was about to try and throw snow in his face or yell in his ear like some high school prankster until she heard him mutter.

"Move. You're blocking what little sun I got." He didn't even open his eyes or shift from his position.

"We need to talk…."

Lifting his head, he let out a loud yawn and shifted to the left to give her room on the bench. She sat calmly at a distance from him but not so far as to make a conversation awkward. He leaned forward and slumped over his legs before popping another one of those pieces of gum in his mouth. Temari crossed her legs and got comfortable. She might be there for a while so she wasted no time.

"I've been thinking…for a while about the baby….a lot of things have changed about the way I looked at everything."

"Everything…."

"I wanted to first start out by saying that I don't expect anything to become of us." He said nothing but popped his gum and looked out at the casually passer-byers. "Whatever we had has changed and if there ever was a future, it's a question mark now. I've accepted that." She too continued to look forward. "But that doesn't mean it should hinder the life…of our son. He needs a mother, a good mother but he also needs his father. The more I think about it, the more I realized how much more fulfilled my life would have been if my own father had been more a part of my life. I know I came out fine without him but I'll never know what it's like to have him to support me. You were lucky enough to be born into a family where your father was like that…and just because you and I may never be, doesn't mean I should rob my son of that experience. I was…." Temari almost had to drag the words out of her mouth. "Wrong…and selfish…and immature. That's not who I am….I guess I couldn't handle everything coming at me at once like I thought I could and I let situations get the best of me." She sighed. "Look I guess what I'm trying to say is that he needs you and he'll always need you and as long as he does….I'd like you to be there. I won't put up a front anymore." Now Temari let out a quiet breath of relief that all she wanted to say at this point was finally over. It was a defining moment in her life whenever she had to admit that she was wrong because she took so much pride in being right. Her analytical skills were always praised and her critical thinking was top notch but after all of these years she had finally met her match or even the one that would overtake her. To admit all of these things were difficult because she was trained to believe that she was somehow a loser and not so much righting a wrong. What got her through is that she told herself this wasn't a competition or a game but a duty to make sure her son got the best life she could possibly offer him. Even if it meant swallowing her pride. For the longest, Shikamaru didn't say anything but when he did, she had no idea what to make of it.

"I think I left the stove on." Getting up from his place on the bench, he began to walk down the street further into the center of town. His pace was slow though. Too slow for someone to be worried about leaving the stove on that could possibly burn down their apartment. Temari took the hint. She followed him.

They both walked quietly, side by side down the street, bobbing and weaving through the lunch goers who were quickly trying to grab a bite before the work bell tolled again. He must have been on an extended lunch break or maybe he had taken the rest of the day off but he leisurely strolled through the town with his hands in his pockets. Temari tried her best not to look at him but she couldn't help but notice the bags that were forming under his eyes. Being usually dull and relaxed, he looked a lot more drained that before and more zombie like. It made her wonder just what type of hours he was working and what exactly he was doing. Since she was so focused on trying to figure out what was going on with him, she didn't realize that they were not only coming out on the other side of the middle of town bu headed in the opposite direction of his house. She said nothing though because before she asked questions, she usually wanted to see the entire picture. They made a right on a very pleasant street decorated with holiday ornaments on the small shops, induction banners hanging from the light posts and Christmas lights swirled around the trees. Twisting her face slightly, she got confused as to where they were going but she still didn't say a word. The street was taken over by a bunch of academy kids playing a round of kickball which would probably end with a broken window and many swollen behinds but they didn't seem to care. Temari and Shikamaru walked further into the sidewalk to prevent getting hit, with her being the closest to the inside. A few more feet down, she saw him walk up the steps to a building that looked a lot fancier than where he previously lived. This place actually stood out slightly due to the fact that it looked almost brand new. That whole side of town looked new and must have been the most recent area rebuilt. She kept on his heel up the stairs and he opened the door for her to go inside. The lobby was nice with convenient mailboxes for the residents against the wall. Shikamaru stopped at one labeled 310 and grabbed a chunk of letters out of it.

"They're just wasting time sending me this crap…" He tossed numerous flyers and advertisements into the trash by the boxes but kept a giant book in his hand. "All they had to do was list them in here….not even a month in yet and mail is already a drag…." The book he kept was a collection of all the business in Konoha which was the most functional way of finding places. It only made sense to keep it. He tucked it under his arm and Temari followed him up three flights of stairs until they reached the third floor. The hallway was carpeted in a fresh looking maroon and the air smelled of sweet lilacs. "This whole place smells like a girl's room…" He groaned.

_So….this is what he's been doing this whole time….it all makes sense…._

When he opened the door, Temari was slightly surprised at how beautiful the place actually was. It still kept up his simplistic nature but it was so much more refined. The kitchen was done in black marble with the floor covered in shiny grey tile. All of the appliances looked like they were right out of the box and Temari made a estimate of much each item cost. It was a pretty penny. He threw his keys and the book down on a pure wood table with dark green cushioned chairs that matched the long sofa in the living room that was facing the sliding glass door. In the corner of the living room was the usually set up on an arm chair, a stand up lamp and the picture of the Nara compound overhead. Scattered on the table were books about parenting and baby how-to's that looked un opened. "If she knows I'm not reading them….why is she still sending them?..." He complained as he removed his jacket and put it down on the couch. Temari, still in shock as to how nice of a place it was, removed her cloak and place it over the living room chair. As she was inspecting the place, he went into the kitchen. "I guess I did leave the stove on….I could've burned the house down….then I couldn't get my deposit back….that was a hell of a lot of money. I wouldn't get back a hell of a lot of money…" Temari was barely listening to him rant because she stood by the sliding glass door and looked out the window down to the lovely scenery below. Even though it was a street, it was a nice street, a peaceful street. Some place near the city but not of the city. It was all too nice. She didn't fully understand.

"There's a day care if you walk a block…." He appeared beside her and pointed down further to a small building where little kids were spending their afternoon on the fenced in playground. A few were swinging as high as they could, two of them were racing to a slide and four were off in the corner playing in a pile of snow. There was one boy though, with his head behind his hands staring aimless at the sky as he laid across the branch of a medium sized tree in the yard. Temari couldn't help but smile. "I figured when he came to see me he could stay there if I had to work and all the other jounin send their kids there. I think it was rated 4 stars or something…I duno. It was too much trouble to read all the reviews in the paper….I'll try to take the time off when he comes through but I guess we'll work out a schedule later…" She didn't say anything. "It's not too far from the Standby Station either so I don't have to wake up so early to get there. The academy is only 10 minutes walk but I guess he'll be training in Suna so that really doesn't mean much." Again, she said nothing but looked out the window. "The only problem is that it's a little farther from my mom but I'd take him the see her on weekends or whenever she wants to see him….knowing her it'll probably be every damn day." He stepped away from the window. "I wasn't sure if this would be enough room for him but since I won't be moving to the compound for a few years, I at least looked for some place that had a playground and other kids he could run around with. He might meet some friends if the kids here aren't stuck up douche bags but I think he'll be ok." Making his way to the other side of the living room, she watched him open a door that lead to another bedroom. She took her time, not because she felt like it but because she was thinking very hard about a lot of things that were suddenly becoming important factors. All of that ended though when she walked into the room.

"It took Sai two weeks. Ino wasn't very happy because she kept nagging about the more time he spent here the less time he would spend with her or something like that…I tuned her out after the first minute or so…" The room was unlike anything she had ever seen and she stopped righ in the door frame, afraid that if she walked in, she would disrupt the order and tranquility. It was a fully furnished and fully painted baby room. Each of the four walls were combined to form the outskirts of the Nara compound which lead to the forest. Although the walls together where one big picture, each wall was painted in a different season. The one by the door was a vibrant summer with a bright blue stream running along the back of the compound. The next wall to the right was spring and the grassy plain was littered in daisies, lilacs and heathers that were fully blooming in the sunshine. The back wall the beginning of the forest and covered in snow with a mini snowman smiling by himself in a red hat. The last wall was autumn in the forest with the trees a spectacular array of oranges, reds and burnt yellows. There was a deer peeking through the branches and looking into the center of the room at a white crib against the back wall. Attached to the crib and hanging overhead mobile of the different Nara deer the drifted overhead underneath a sky with white puffy clouds. The rest of the room was as simple like the living room. There was a white rocking chair, a matching dresser with a changing table attached and in the center, a giant tan rug over the baby blue carpet. As she looked on at the amazing view, she noticed in the corner was a figure of a woman sitting in the grass during springtime. The picture almost blended in with the background because the grass was covering her face. She looked like she was fanning herself with a sensu that looked just like the one Shikamaru gave her and it was obvious who it was. Temari was painted into his room and although it was clearly a Nara theme, it had a hint of Suna through her sitting amongst the nature. She wasn't sure why she felt like this. Maybe it was those annoying hormones. That's what she would blame it on but she had the urge to cry. Not just because it was so perfectly done but because of just about everything. She thought she had seen enough until she happened to glance at the trashcan by the door and three packs of unopened cigarettes were tossed inside. This was all the proof she needed.

"It's rougher than I thought….it's so troublesome when I have those shitty cravings and I'm getting all moody like you women do when you go through that time of the month. This gum doesn't do anything but make me restless but Sakura swore it'd be the quickest way…the sooner I'm off this, the better…."

"Shikamaru…." There was so much she could say yet she couldn't fully wrap her head around it. This whole apartment, this room the furniture, everything must have cost him a fortune and yet none of his complaints had anything to do with money. Just things he fell short on. It was at this moment that she felt the most bad for the way she had treated him when this whole time he took it all, quietly getting himself ready to be a father. Even though there was a chance he wouldn't see his son very often, he picked up his entire life and shifted it all to make sure everything was perfect. He planned everything right down to the small details. It was overwhelming to think about it and at the same time, he juggled working more hours and giving up smoking just like that. Like it was nothing at all. He put her to shame and brought forth the guilt of how she had viewed and treated him. There was no way she could let all of his efforts go to waste. She would be a scum of a person to do that so there was only one solution to this entire thing. The choice was obvious but it wouldn't be easy. Not be a long shot. "You said you were always 50 moves ahead and yet you're so behind…"

"What?..." He scratched the back of his head as to what he missed.

"You moved into the best apartment you could find so he would have a nice place to come home too. You made sure you were close enough to a daycare so he would have a good time while you were at work. You made sure the place had lots of kids so they he would make friends when the time came. You decorated his room, gave him top furniture. You quit smoking so you would set a good example for him and prolong your life enough to see him grow old. You planned all of these things and yet you missed something."

"What did I miss?..."

"I don't see where I'm suppose to sleep…you idiot…"

His surprised expression turned into a small and sheepish smile. "I guess….I'm not so ahead after all."

…..

That night, Temari spent at her own apartment. They would start moving her things in the next day. As she sat there in the dark she began to think of all that would be to come once everyone found out she was moving in with him. It almost gave her a headache but she took comfort in knowing that this was the right thing to do. Not only would Shikamaru get to see his son on a regular basis but he would be able to grow up in a house with both parents. That was the way it should be. Whatever problems they had, they would just have to deal with for the sake of their baby because he was now to come first. While she sipped her tea she reminisced on how just a few months back, she was a carefree kunoichi who had no chick or child and now at the age of only 20, she was the bring a life into this world.

"I guess I should start thinking of names soon….your father might want to name you but that moron better not choose something foreign. I don't know much about his clan. I should start reading up on it since I might have to help him teach you. When I move in, I'll sadly have to ask for a few lessons in Nara. You have a little bit of it painted on your wall ya know? It's pretty cool. You probably won't be able to appreciate it when you're older and hopefully you'll have time before you move on to the compound. Before we think of all that you just make sure you come out on time…and healthy too." Just as she finished, there was a knock at the door.

Temari heaved herself out of bed and pulled a robe over her shoulder as she shuffled to the door. "Who is it?"

"Sakura. I brought some things for you." When Temari opened the door, Sakura stood there in the cold with a brown paper bag. Although she looked normal, her expression was nothing but. Temari said nothing and allowed her inside.

"You didn't have to come out so late at night you know?" They both walked over to her bed where she climbed back in and Sakura sat on the chair.

"I was on my way home from the hospital….I thought I would stop by." Her voice dragged on.

"Thanks…."

"It's some folic acid pills and some papers about getting temporary insurance. Since you're a diplomat, it shouldn't be too hard once you decided to apply. It's good to do just in case the baby is born here."

"He will be born here..." Born. It seemed so much closer now.

"You're moving here?"

"Yea….I'm moving in with Shikamaru."

"That's great…..I'm happy for you too." Her smile was only a cover up.

"Thanks I guess. You might as well tell me why you're moping around like some kid who lost his ball." Temari didn't mean to be so harsh but that was part of her personality.

"Nothing's wrong…"

"You're a horrible liar."

"Well…" There she goes. "It's Saskue…"

"Of course. That hot shot bastard."

"Don't say that. He's not a bastard. He has his moments like he all do."

"Yea yea…continue." Temari found it strange how she could defend him.

"It's just….right when I thought things were going ok….they just fall apart…"

"Yep…that's how life works." She knew from experience.

"I really felt like he was coming around but he fell right back into depression again."

"He's been through a lot…so I guess it's easy too. It's all a cycle Sakura."

"I know….it's just hard to watch and I feel he doesn't know how to handle it."

"Men are weaklings when it comes to emotional stress. We may not be any better but at least we have an outlet. Men feel the need to close is when they're going through something or get mad. Don't ask me to explain why…I've done it too."

"Then what should I do to help him? I feel like I've run out of options."

"You haven't….you can leave him and let him wallow…but knowing you, you probably won't do that….or you can be honest with him. Tell him that life isn't always going to be better or take pity on him just because of what he's been through. Drill it in his head…" Temari thought of times where she had to be told that.

"Easier said than done…"

"But if you don't do it then you might as well give up."

"I'm not giving up on him."

"Then stop being so weak. You're a kunoichi, one of the best and not only that you helped save the whole damn world. You need to be strong not only in battle but in life. Seeing you walk around with your head in your hand makes me look at you differently….that's not who you are. Trust me…I've been through it and still am. "

"I guess…So, does that mean you and Shikamaru are together since you're moving in?"

"No….we're just trying to be good parents."

"Wow…you guys are having a baby together, living together and yet you still won't admit your feelings for each other. You might be worse off than Sasuke and I."

"What?"

"At least I know I love him and I told him that. You both are still living in denial."

"It's not denial if it's the truth."

"Sure, sure….I'll make sure to put you on a strong birth control after the baby then." Sakura laughed mischievously while Temari frowned slightly.

"I think we'll both be alright. This is my first and last kid. I'm done…"

"Sure you are…This is only the beginning."

_Please don't say that…._


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: I plan on making between 32-35 chapters but let's not worry so much as to when it will end but how. **

**Chapter 23: The Matriarch**

Move in day wasn't so much an event after all. Temari spent most of her time in the warm apartment and only went out for two trips to carry some light things Shikamaru would _allow_ her to carry. The only reason why she was complacent with his orders was because her back was acting up that day. Her belly was beginning to get a lot heavier and she could no longer sleep on her back, which was very soothing when she had aches and pains on her sides. All in all, it took only an hour or two to get everything over, aside from having to break down her bed he worked so hard to put up.

Temari sat in the living room that morning quietly looking around as to what else she could do with her time while she was trapped. The baby's room was fixed, she had unpacked what little clothes she brought in the closet and the house was clean so there was nothing to straighten up. One of the worst things about being pregnant according to her, was the amount of boredom accumulated because she couldn't do much of anything. She couldn't train, work had lulled for the day and it was too cold for her to wonder around outside. She was about to just play a staring contest with the wall until she saw a large wooden box in the corner behind the arm chair. "Hm…" Whatever it was must have not been so off limits seeing as how it was poorly hidden. Cautiously, she walked over and grabbed it from behind the chair, pulling it on the floor because it was heavier than she predicted. When she sat on the down, she opened it up to reveal a nice crafted shogi board and wooden pieces in a bag. "I forgot this geezer plays shogi. What a grandpa…." Seeing as how she had nothing better to do, she took out the board and began to organize the pieces. Temari wasn't completely ignorant of shogi because she had seen her father play it a few times. She knew the basics and how to set it up but beyond taking it for more than a way for old heads to relieve their glory days in battle quiet comfortably, she never took it too seriously. Quietly, she decided to start a game against herself while picturing Shikamaru painstakingly undoing the last of her bed. "I can only image the lip service he's giving….that crybaby-" The front door opened and he came in with the last of her bed frame.

"I'm done for the day." He put everything down in the baby's room which Temari rearranged to fit her things but she saw that he had forgotten the most important thing. "Before you go wondering where your mattress is….I'm going to move it at night. It'll be too troublesome and everyone would notice if I do it now. If you wanna sleep you can just take my bed." Temari could barely remember the last time she slept in his bed but she did remember the wonders it did for her night time slumber. Or was it just the bed at all? When he came out, he saw her sitting indian-style in front of the set up board. "I never thought you'd be into Shogi…" She sensed the amusement in his tone.

"I'm not. I'm bored." Without an invite, he sat on the other end and moved one of the pieces forward. "I will never understand the love of this game…It's so actionless."

"I beg to differ…this was the game of war heroes and generals…all successful men. This game had plenty of action because they imagined it was more than just pieces. I like it because I can pretend…without using up so much energy."

"You're a bum. Just in case you didn't know." She moved one of here pieces forward

"That's just fine. At least being a bum you have less to worry about." He slapped another one down.

"You even play like a village elder."

"People always told me I was an old man stuck in a teenage body….annoying."

"They speak the truth then."

"….shut up…" His knitted brow made her chuckle lowly and he slapped his piece down in resentment. She still knew how to push his buttons. "Oh yea…there is a message from Gaara." Without taking his eyes off the game, he handed her a small letter that was stuffed in his pocket.

"Why would they give this to you?..." He merely looked up at her for asking such a rhetorical question as she opened it.

Temari,

Gaara and I think we've found something that will end this shit storm…

From the foul language she could easily tell this was Kankuro.

We'll be coming in for the induction next month a few days early and we'll plan everything. Gaara and I are trying to get Lady Rie to come with us but that soggy hold heffer isn't budging. Don't worry though Temari! Gaara and I can handle this….I hope.

Kankuro

_My idiot brother…._

When she looked up, Shikamaru was still staring intently at the board even though she hadn't move. Knowing him he was probably planning the next 100 moves. "They're trying to take down the woman who's threatening your son." Temari finally took her turn.

"She's not going to touch him." He didn't seem worried as they started to take turns. "She's not that stupid."

"You'd be surprised. I think Gaara and Kankuro have a plan though."

"I'm surprised you're not sending out orders to them."

"I've made the decision to trust my brothers…when they need me, they'll call me. I'm not going anywhere."

"Hm."

"So….am I the first one other than Sai and Ino to see this place?"

"No. Choji came over and helped me move furniture…having a big best friend has it's perks."

"I see."

_So no girls…..Wait, what does that even matter?!_

"I've been living here for 2 weeks and I've barely seen this place. Work has me gone all day….I'm happy this is my last week being a slave."

"Back to the 12 pm mornings…"

"Even that's too early. " There was silence as the game continued, Temari had no intention of trying to win and Shikamaru was just beating around to pass time.

"I guess me living here will spoil your night time fun…" Fun meaning aimless 'encounters'.

"Nah. If I really wanted to, I'd just go over to the girl's house but frankly, Konoha girls don't seem to interest me much anymore…."

"Guys in Suna never held a place from the beginning. I couldn't be with any of them anyway or word would get out the Kazekage's sister has a thing for rough sex with strange men."

He chuckled. "I could see how that would become a problem. The last times I've had were boring….I think I made one girl emotional because I yawned…"

"You have some nerve Shikamaru…"

"It was a long day. What can I say? I'm a guy….we only hide things are really important…" Glancing over to the wooden shogi holding box he mumbled. "Speaking of hiding things…"

"Huh?"

"Nothing."

"Hm. Some girls are just a little more sensitive than others…"

"You're one to talk."

"I'm not that sensitive that I would cry if a guy yawned in the middle of it….As long as I'm satisfied, who cares."

"Ice woman…"

"Frozen solid. You men can be big babies too." Referring to a certain over emotional scholar.

"You should know by now that I only invest when I see it necessary so if that's the way things go then I just go with it.´"

"Tell that to that crazy scholar. I wonder if he still has it out for me?.."

"You seem to have messed with his ego when you left. You're heartless." She took that as a slight compliment coming from him.

"You're not so far off. You probably never went to find those earrings I tossed that one night…"

"Nope. I never saw her again so it would have been a waste of energy. Our relationship was nothing but casual…"

"Those types are always so hazy…." Temari made a move and then realized it only trapped her.

"Troublsome."

"Skewed."

"Energy costing….people get too attached…"

"I know. They need to learn some self control and not be caught up so easily."

"For once, I agree." They were quietly playing again and she was so into the conversation that she didn't realize that he was on his last move. He moved up. "I guess you beat me."

"You're not bad. Not great but I can tolerate you…"

"Is that a compliment?"

"Maybe." His mouth gave a small side smile while he was still looking at the finished game. "There's some place we have to go tomorrow by the way…"

"You're already making my schedule I see….I guess I wouldn't mind stretching my legs and getting out."

"I hope you don't think this is going to be any place fun…." He sighed.

"Huh?"

"My mom….wants to meet you." His expression looked positively weary.

"Wow…well then…" Temari's stomach tightened. It completely slipped her mind that she had never met her and she thought she felt a twinge of fear.

_Oh boy….._

…

Her heart was pounding, her palms were hot and she even thought she felt a bead of sweat drip down her brow as they saw the Nara compound in view. Shikamaru looked bothered and with his hands in his pocket he was dragging his feet a little more the closer they got. There was a first time for everything and from what Shikamaru had told her, his mother was none to mess with. This sort of anxiousness was different than what she had experienced because this time she was fighting for acceptance rather than to be a winner.

"You never told me her name…"

"My mom's name is Yoshino….Yoshino Nara.."

"Yoshino-san…" Temari practiced her greeting over in her head but hadn't found one just right.

_Good afternoon Yoshino-san…My name is Temari, the mother of your unexpected grandson out of a casual sexual relationship with your son….nice to meet you….Yea that sounds about right…_

"You seem nervous…"

"I'm never nervous."

"If you say so..." They both entered the compound that began underneath a large metal archway with the Nara clan symbol overhead. It was relatively quiet because everyone was either at work or about their daily business. Temari did notice how extensive the place was and so full of trees and greenery.

"Your clan is big…"

"Yea we have a procreation issue….we can't stop. Now I've joined the bunch."

"Do they know about me?" Temari was looking around cautiously for any peepers that might carry her secret to the outside.

"My mom and my uncle….he's the clan leader until I'm 25…then I have to take over this place…what a drag…"

"Well enjoy the free years you have left…" They walked together further down the street before making a sharp right. Many clans place the head and his family in a house in the center but the Nara clan was different. To prevent enemy invaders from easily pinpointing the location of the head of the clan, they built the house off to the side and with many wealthier members building nice size houses, everything blended in. Temari thought that idea was clever but it was the Nara clan who she was dealing with after all. Shikamaru's house had a small archway that lead to a courtyard where there was a giant tree stretching it's branches over almost the entire area. Around it where slabs of block stones with deer antler carved in the same sticking out from them. Teamri didn't have a chance to peek at what was written on them but they must have been important. The main house was built in the back which looked similar to other village houses but around it were smaller rooms outside that connected to the archway in a giant square. The rooms were raised on a wooden patio and the doors were sliding screens. The place was beautiful and even covered in snow she felt like she was outside in the midst of a mystical clearing in the forest rather than in the middle of someone's house. Everything was serene and quiet. He took her around to the main house where he opened the front door. A blast of warm air it her face and made her say a silent thank you to the fact that they value the heat in this bitter weather.

"Mom." There was no answer. "Mom." Still nothing. "Mom!"

"Keep it down Shikamaru! I heard you the first time!" Yoshino popped out from a small side hallway and Temari saw that she was almost exactly how she pictured her. A stern browed, hands on her hips, brown headed woman who had a wooden spoon in her hand. "Shikamaru what did I say about wearing shoes in my house?!"

"It has begun…"

Temari thought she wouldn't be noticed until Yoshino's eyes lit up. "Temari! Come in from the door dear! You must be freezing!" Yoshino place her hands around her and ushered Temari further into the house where the living room was.

"Konichiwa…Yoshino-san." She put on her nicest smile.

"Hello to you too. Well don't you look like you're glowing- Shikamaru bring her a set of house slippers! I promise my son has no idea how to take care of a woman. Forgive him." They both sat down on the couch when Shikamaru came dragging in with a set of white comfy shoes in his hands.

"Oh…thank you…" Not wanting to further mess up her nicely carpeted living room Temari kicked her own shoes off with a little problem seeing as how her stomach was in the way.

_I guess I should say goodbye to seeing my feet now….._

"How many months are you?" Yoshino seemed so excited that it appeared that she was the one having the baby.

"5. I have a long way…"

"So you think! My pregnancy flew by with Shikamaru but it was probably because so much was happening. I almost gave birth to him while putting away my clothes on the day his father and I moved onto the compound." She sighed. "I was so young then….just like you but I'm sure you're a lot stronger than I am. I can see it in your eyes."

Temari blinked as if it would change anything but Yoshino kept smiling. "Maybe." Shikamaru threw himself onto the other couch on the other side of the living room.

"Are you thirsty? You probably want water. Shikamaru go get her some water!"

"But I just sat down…." He groaned and closed his eyes.

"Shikamaru-" Yoshino snapped

"It's alright I'm fine."

"Are you sure dear?"

"Yes." Temari looked over to see him mumbled a word of thanks to the heavens.

"Alright. Well I made rice, steamed vegetables and fish. They have nutrients in it that will help the baby. I hope none of those make you sick! Oh gosh I should have asked you that. I'm so sorry!"

"It's ok. All of them are fine with me. He's not so picky now that he is growing…." Temari tapped her stomach through her cloak.

"Take off that heavy thing. You're probably sweating!" Temari united her cloak and folded it over the chair as she suggested.

"You're so big. It must be hard to move around now. I hope my lazy son is helping you."

"Yea…he's doing his part but I can still manage on my own."

"Non sense! He needs to be there to help you. You send him to me when he slacks off and I'll send you back a real man." Yoshino gives her a confident smile to which Temari returns a small, more apprehensive one.

"Can we eat? I skipped breakfast on purpose so I'd be hungry…" Yoshino rolls her eyes at her son who was still flopped down on the chair.

"Alright. Come Temari." Yoshino gently grabs her arm and helps Temari push off the couch. Everyone then made their way into the dining room.

"It's been so long since the chairs have almost all been filled. I remember thinking a long time ago that I'd need to get more for when Shikamaru has children. I guess I should go out and look for a high chair huh?" Temari and Shikamaru sat down on one side while Yoshino brought out the food and gave them plates. "Now Temari feel free to eat as much as you want. The baby is probably very hungry and I made plenty." The smell of the fish made Temari's mouth water and she wasn't in any position to refuse a buffet style meal. Reaching over the table with her chop sticks, she picked up a slab of the fish and put it on her plate. Shikamaru grabbed the rice first and Yoshino was left taking some of the vegetables. "So, my son tells me that you're finally moving to Konoha! You're so brave Temari."

"I'm here so much for work that it doesn't really feel like a move….I guess it's starting to feel more like an extension of my job…"

"Well I hope you grow to like our village but I know there's no place like home. You're also brave for sticking it out with Shikamaru. You make sure he doesn't force you to all the work while he sits around cloud watching." Yoshino shot him a death stare.

"This…is my hell…." He simply rolled his eyes and fixed the rest of his plate.

"I am serious Shikamaru! You need to make sure you make her as comfortable as possible!"

"I'm fine. Really." Temari liked Yoshino's overbearing attitude. She seemed to be one of the few women who could light a fire under his ass hot enough to get him moving.

_This woman's got spunk…._

"Are you excited Temari? This is your first baby and I know with Shikamaru I was nervous but I didn't tell his father that."

"I'm a mixture of a lot of things…As my due date gets closer I might be a little more nervous but only because I don't want to give birth before it's time."

"Shikamaru was a late baby….even if the womb this boy took his sweet time coming out. I was in labor for 3 days!" Temari almost choked at the idea of having to go through everything in a slow and painful 3 day process.

"I hope he comes out quick but who knows. I just want him to be healthy."

"He'll be fine." Shikamaru didn't even look up from his plate.

"Well Shikamaru you had better be there the entire time!" Yoshino clapped her sticks together in front of his face to get him to look up. "Your father was late and I almost didn't forgive him!"

"But he got there right on time so what does it matter?..."

Temari winced because she had a feeling things weren't going to get pretty.

"What….does it matter?...That's your son Shikamaru! You are suppose to be there as a father and as a support system for Temari! If you had any idea what she was going through you wouldn't be so nonchalant about it! If you're not there so help me-"

"Alright, alright! I'm gonna be on time….shit…" Just as the word slipped out, Yoshino conked him on the head with a wooden spoon she had on the table.

"What did I say about cursing in my house?! You and your father! Such potty mouths. I hope he's not like that around you Temari. Make sure you get him good if he uses that language around my grandson ok?"

Temari was quiet for a moment out of guilt for her own dirty language. She just nodded.

They spent the rest of lunch talking about baby things, how her job was going, Yoshino complimented her on her impressive resume as a kunoichi, asked her about Suna and the usual things. Temari liked the fact that Yoshino was always genuinely interested in what she had to say and not only offered critical advice but made very intelligent remarks. She would have been a top kunoichi if she decided to keep pursuing that career when she was younger. It was easy to tell where Shikamaru got some of his wits from and one of the reasons why his father married her. She was also very forward and spoke her mind easily, which was not a typical trait among some of the women she had run into in Suna. They catered themselves to the men they wanted, Yoshino catered herself to the type of woman she wanted to represent. A similar style to Temari's in it's own right. The conversation came up about the birthing process towards the end of lunch.

"Are you going to delivery it naturally?" Yoshino was finishing the last of her fish.

"I'm not sure. I think I can take the pain-"

"Ha! You sounded just like me before I went in to labor. I'd rather get stabbed by 4 Kunai."

"Wow….maybe I can't then…"

"Oh don't take my word for it. If you think you can try it then try it! Just be sure they have the meds ready for if you give up." Her laugher was loud but heartfelt.

"I might take that advice."

"Do we have to talk about this?...I'm still eating…" Shikamaru had been trying to drown everything out since the beginning.

"Oh Hush! This conversation is necessary. Anyway, who is delivering the baby?"

"I haven't chosen any one medical nin per say. Whoever is on staff is fine. I really don't care."

"I had med nin Masatoshi deliver Shikamaru! Oh he was so handsome and I believe he had a thing for me." Yoshino was giggling like a teenage girl. "It was one of the few times Shikaku ever held my hand in such a public place. He was so jealous that I practically had to threaten him to get him out the delivery room when I was about to start pushing. You would think that a woman would be afraid for such a guy to see her-"

"Mom!" Temari could have sworn Shikamaru's face was a little red during his outburst.

"Fine, fine! Anyway, when the pain hits you, it doesn't matter who's there to get the baby out. You just want it out!" Yoshino's laughter was infectious and Temari couldn't help but imagine Yoshino losing her cool in the delivery room and tossing a few tools at Shikaku.

"Whoever is so unfortunate enough to deliver my son won't have to worry about Shikamaru."

"I hope not. Med nin Masatoshi also had to cut me open because Shikamaru's head was so large!"

"That's it. I'm out of here." Shikamaru grabbed his plate and walked into the kitchen as Temari tried to hold back the laughter of his flushed face and irritated expression.

_What a fucking weakling…._

After he put his plate in the sink she walked out the front door and Yoshino smiled. "Good. He's gone!" That woman had a lot of tricks up her sleeve. "Now we can have some girl time."

Temari was a bit confused. "Um…ok…"

"Let me clear this table first." Temari was about to get up and assist in cleaning up when Yoshino interrupted.

"I hope you didn't expect to come to my house and clean? Sit down and relax. By the way, your outfit is very nice." Temari wasn't wearing anything new. It was the same black Kimono that crossed with the split and the red sash tied around her waist. The only thing that was different was that she wasn't wearing her headband. It wasn't necessary on this trip.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Do you plan on retiring once you have him?"

"Oh no. I'll rest for a while and then it's back to training. I don't plan on stopping anytime soon." That was a promise and a fact although she was a half expecting Yoshino to go against it. Many women give up being a shinobi to pursue domestic matters while the men remain in the line of work. Although she had respect for those woman, she wasn't about to be a part of that lifestyle.

"That's good….I like that. Don't ever give up on what you love. Many stuffy women say you can't work and be a good mother but I think you can do it Temari. You have those determined eyes." Yoshino's words calmed her spirit and made her feel even more confident about her decision.

"Thank you Yoshino-san."

Once the table was clear, Yoshino made tea and invited Temari to sit on the front patio with her in a long and comfortable outdoor arm chair.

"Be honest. How is my son treating you? Tell me the truth, even If it may not be so good."

Temari didn't know how to answer this question at first. All mothers wanted to hear that their children were the best types of people. Flawless. Temari though, got the gist of Yoshino's personality and realized that she would value the truth more than a life and Temari was too frank. "He's doing the best he can. We're still getting use to each other. I know it probably sounds bad."

"No. You are adults now and can work out your relationship the way you want. Whether you get married, just remain together as is or split apart, it is your choice. You both were old enough to put your lives on the line and fight in a bloody…and dangerous war. Who am I to tell you both what to do or how to live your lives? The only thing I wish was that you both weren't so young….I as fairly young when I had Shikamaru and it was a little bit more difficult. I was still growing and changing. I didn't have enough life experience but…I did it. I know you both will make it as well. I can tell you're very smart Temari. A good match for my son."

_A good match…._

"Thank you although you put me to high up on a pedestal. I will admit that I don't make such great decisions all the time."

"That's part of being human." Yoshino sipped her tea as she looked out to one of the smaller connecting rooms. The screen door was open and Temari saw Shikamaru sitting by himself playing Shogi. Even when his own opponent was his own mind, he seemed to still take the game seriously. His level of cognitive thinking was far deeper than anyone she had ever met and what looked like a game to other was probably something a lot more for Shikamaru. "Temari you will make many more mistakes as a woman, a mother, if you get married then a wife too. We are not bound to laws of perfection although people always lean towards it. It's in flaws that we are truly human. His father told me that when I failed my very first mission. He also told me that what also makes his human is not succumbing to those flaws but rising above it. I know I probably sound like some cracked up old lady!" They both started laughing again. Temari didn't think of her that way at all.

"You're right. I hate my weak moments but I guess that's just as a part of me as my strong ones."

"Exactly. You're going to be able to give such wonderful advice when you're older and your son has to come for you. If Shikamaru is like his father, which he is in more ways than I can imagine, then he will be of great help too. His father taught him well and although he never told Shikamaru much, he was really proud of him. "

"He's a good Shinobi."

"He is although that boy is so lazy that it baffles me. Shikaku was the same way. The first time I saw him he was cloud watching instead of attending classes. I thought he wouldn't amount to anything because of how much he just went with the flow but little did I know that it would become that reason why I feel in love with him. He was so easy going and I was _always_ going. They nicknamed me Hachidori when I was in the academy." Yoshino looked quite annoyed when she remembered that little bit.

"The Hummingbird?"

"Yes because they said I was always going a mile a minute. Kids were so cruel back then. Kushina, Naruto's mother, was the 'red hot habanero', Mikoto Uchiha, Sasuke's mom, was 'cupcakes' for a while and when we all heard Fugaku had a thing for her, the girls would say that he was looking for desert." Yoshino winked at the suggestive comment. "We all had our time. It was Shikaku who was the first guy to ever call me by my name. The way he said it in that husky voice sounded so…good. My name was quiet annoying from other people but he made it sound like a work of art. My husband was a man of little words so everything he said secretly sounded wonderful to me. Even if I didn't show it."

Temari was picturing Yoshino and Shikaku as teenagers. She imagined Yoshino always giving him a run for his money until he finally was able to wheel her in. He caught the hummingbird. She noticed that Yoshino was looking at the tree in the middle of the courtyard with the stone and the antlers sticking out from it. Temari must have been too obvious because she quickly snapped out of it and started the conversation again.

"You'll look out for my son…right Temari? Although he'll say he's ok or he doesn't need it, you'll secretly watch and wait. He's like his father so he won't always openly tell you what's going on but try to be understanding. I know it will be hard and at times you'll throw your hands up and walk away but you will get to him. When he told me you were pregnant those months ago, I was really worried that he wouldn't be able to handle the responsibility of being a father. I tried to tell him how much work it would be but he just waved me off but I could tell the weight of reality was sinking in. He came to me one morning though looking very distressed and I knew he had finally come to terms with his emotions. Don't tell him I told you this but he admitted that he was scared. He never told me what he was afraid of but I think I know now why. All of the men he had ever held dear to him have died, leaving behind their families and work unfinished. I think my son is afraid that he won't make it to be a father for his son or be there for you. Don't let him know that you know but you must keep him focused and help him let go of that idea. It will only hold him back. I love Shikamaru very much and I know by what you see, you may think I'm a hard mother.."

"I don't."

She smiled. "Thank you. I'm only overbearing so I can give him the push he needs to get going. I know once he starts, he won't need me anymore. Like Shikaku, he will grow immune to the force of his mother and catch the wind of his own woman. If that's you then you need to continue to be there…like I was for his father….if you do it right, you will help him become a great man…and in turn he will push you to become a greater woman…" She smiled warmly. "It's been 13 months, 3 weeks, 4 days and 13 hours and 30 minutes since I lost my husband. There's not a day that goes by that I don't miss him but even to this day I feel that lazy breeze push at my back and help me to carry on with my life. My biggest regret was not letting him go off to war that day…it was not realizing my love for him sooner because I was too busy with myself." Temari glanced over and she thought she saw a tear roll down left cheek but she looked away to give her a private moment to herself. Yoshino's story was sad indeed but at the same time insight to Temari as to how life and people can change so quickly.

"You're….a stronger woman than many Shinobi Yoshino-san…"

"Temari."

"Yes?"

"Call me mom."

Temari was so startled that the expression was clear across her face. Yoshino let out that boisterous laughter that made Shikamaru give her the death stare for interrupting his concentration. "Excuse me?"

"Shikamaru told me that your parents died and that other than your brothers you have no family. I've always wanted a daughter, another thing not to mention to my son, and I believe we make a great pair. Whether you are with my son or not…It would make this old woman happy to be of use to someone again…."

Temari thought this a very odd request but there was a welcoming nature about the whole idea. She had always wondered what growing up with a mother would have been like. While the other girls went shopping with their mothers, she would train alone, while they were taking walks together, she was reading quietly in her room. When she was younger she was slightly jealous but she kept it to herself as to not remind her brothers about what happened. It would be nice to have someone she could lean on and connect with. She really had nothing to lose and Yoshino seemed like she suited Temari very well. "Um…ok…mom?..."

"Ah! That sounds so wonderful to hear! I have a daughter now. I know I'm not young like your friends but feel free to come visit me and chat about anything. Shikamaru is so boring to talk to and I told him I'd rather watch paint dry! We'd have fun. It will cure my loneliness sometimes."

"That would be nice…I will…" Temari smiled with Yoshino but the moment was interrupted by a certain little boy resting on her bladder. "Where is your bathroom?"

"Oh! That little hallway by the living room is the guest bathroom. I know that baby must be doing jumping jacks on your bladder!" Yoshino was no kidding and so Temari rushed off to take care of her business.

"That was a relief…" When she came back, she saw something that made her stop in her tracks by the door.

( watch?v=baQJoLY_GEw The musical theme for this section)

Standing in front of the tree alone was Yoshino. She was very quiet and very still as she appeared to be looking at one of the stones that surrounded the trunk. There was a sudden sense of solitude in the winter air as a cool breeze blew by and the branches shook. Temari was unsure about whether to approach her and out of curiosity she was about to step forward until she saw Yoshino's shoulders start to quiver. She placed her hand on what seemed to be her mouth and from a distance Temari heard the sniffles coming from her direction. The sniffles only lasted so long until she heard the sound of very low sobbing. From where she stood, she saw Yoshino break down so unexpectedly all by herself.

_She must be carrying so much…all alone…._

Temari could tell that she was trying her best to pull it together but the more she looked at that stone, the more she couldn't hold it in. Falling on her knees in a heap, she finally gave in to crying and let everything out. Through her tears, Temari felt a small piece of what Yoshino was going through. Not only did she have to be a widow of the only man who held her heart, she had to bear the pain alone. She probably never told anyone how she felt or what she was thinking and spent most of the days alone in a house that held so many memories. Everywhere probably reminded her of her old life as well. Although her husband died a hero, there was still suffering in his death. There was still brokenness. There was still heartache. There was still the future of knowing she will never see him again and what consolation could anyone offer her for that? What could anyone say? What could anyone do? Although Temari lost her mother, she barely remembered it all. She was so young that her future seemed to swallow all traces of her life with her mom and so Temari barely missed her but things were different for Yoshino. Shikaku and her intended on living life together, having a family, raising Shikamaru, seeing him grow and have a family of his own and sitting on this very porch as they watch the last of their days go by together. Her future was still a high chance just a year ago and now the perfect image had shattered and she was left to herself. Temari didn't realize it but as she looked on, she felt a tear drip down her left eye that released some of her own repressed memories and feelings. Temari almost felt she was seeing a glimpse of her potential future and it frightened her to the core until something happened.

_Shikamaru…._

Quietly, he walked over and sat next to his mother. He wrapped his arms tightly around her and she began to cry on his shoulders. It was probably something so depressing as a mother as strong as she was to lean some of her burdens onto her son who was barely an adult. Shikamaru though, looked as strong as any grown man as he held her there, not saying a word. That comforting side of him had never showed itself this obviously before and Temari couldn't help but watch in amazement at how well he was handling his mother's breakdown. Outside of being a good son she had raised, he had taken up a new responsibility. He was the wind that helped her keep moving when his father's was not enough. Temari was now seeing what Yoshino was talking about this whole time and she found a new faith in Shikamaru that she never had before.


End file.
